Cruel Legacy (16 page)

'Kenneth... Mr Drummond,' she corrected herself. 'What are you doing here? I thought Wednesday was your day for seeing Mr Scott.'

'It was, but there was some emergency and so they asked me to attend Mr Meadows' clinic this week instead, lucky for me. Oh, and by the way,' he added as he smiled down at her, 'you got it right the first time.'

When Sally looked puzzled, he said softly, 'Kenneth, not Mr Drummond.'

Oh, heavens, she wasn't really going to start blushing, was she? Sally wondered shakily. She hadn't missed, either, the significance of that deliberate 'lucky for me', nor the way he had looked at her when he'd asked her to call him Kenneth.

She had always liked him, of course, laughing with him and teasing him, listening to him and talking to him, but somehow it was different now that he was no longer one of her patients and instead of her looking down at him he was the one now looking down at her. He was a big man, nearly as tall as Joel but not quite as broad across the chest. As he touched her arm lightly she noticed that his hand felt smooth, not like Joel's, whose skin was rough.

'Are you just off?' he asked her now.

Sally nodded. 'Yes,' she agreed ruefully. 'I'm on my way home to the housework and the ironing.'

'I was just going to have a spot of lunch; I had hoped I might be able to persuade you to join me. I still haven't totally got full control of these things,' he told her wryly, gesturing towards his crutches.

Sally frowned hesitantly. 'Dressed like this?' Sally gestured to the uniform she was wearing beneath her coat. 'We aren't supposed...'

'We'll ask them to find us a quiet corner and you can keep your coat on. Please..he wheedled.

Sally laughed, she couldn't help it.

'You don't fool me,' she told him, laughing. 'I know exactly what you're up to.'

His face sharpened, his voice deepening slightly as he gave her a look that for no reason at all caused her heart suddenly to beat a little faster.

'You do?'

'Yes, you just want me with you because of these,' she told him, gesturing towards his crutches.

She really shouldn't be doing this. She had a pile of ironing waiting for her at home, a hundred and one small jobs she needed to do, but why should she always be the one to do them? she decided rebelliously.

'Come on,' Kenneth instructed her, taking charge so easily and adeptly that they were out in the car park and heading towards his car almost before she knew what was happening. When he stopped next to a huge BMW saloon car and unlocked it Sally stared at him in consternation.

'Is this yours? How on earth do you drive it?'

'It's automatic and I've still got one good leg,' Kenneth told her, laughing. 'Come on, get in. I promise you I'm perfectly safe... as a driver..

He couldn't really be flirting with her, could he? Sally wondered feverishly as she got into the front passenger seat. No, he was just being polite, friendly. The trouble with her was that she was so out of touch, so unused to being in the company of an attractive, communicative man that she didn't know how to respond any more, or how to read the subtle messages her senses were picking up from him.

She was being ridiculous, he just wanted someone to talk to, she told herself quickly as he started the car and then turned to smile at her.

'I know a pub where the bar meals are reasonably good and with a bit of luck midweek it should be fairly empty.'

As he watched her, Kenneth wondered how long it would be before she guessed how deliberately contrived this meeting had actually been. He had missed her like hell since he'd returned home, and it had only taken a chance discovery that there was an alternative clinic he could attend, plus a bit of time spent working out her shift pattern, to have him altering his appointment and then hanging about in Outpatients trying to make himself as unnoticeable as possible until she came off duty.

He had earned himself one or two sharp looks from a couple of nurses and one of the porters, but it had paid off.

Kenneth had no illusions about his situation. His feelings for Sally were far stronger than hers for him, if indeed she had any, but she was not totally unaware of him; that pretty little flush and sideways look had told him that.

For a man who claimed to need help with them he was remarkably adept at managing his crutches, Sally reflected as Kenneth parked his car and ushered her into the pub.

He had been right about its being quiet, and its setting out in the country, away from the town, meant that she was unlikely to bump into anyone who knew her.

She frowned. What had put that thought into her head? Why should it matter if anyone saw her? She wasn't doing anything wrong. She was just having lunch with an ex-patient, that was all.

Kenneth found them a table tucked away in a small natural alcove and then gestured to the menu blackboard behind the bar, asking her what she would like to eat.

When Sally saw the prices she hesitated, force of habit making her run down the list for the cheapest item.

'What's wrong... don't tell me you're dieting?' Kenneth teased her.

She laughed. 'No, it's just...'

'Just what? Nothing there that you fancy?'

'No, it's not that.' She could feel herself starting to flush slightly. 'It's all so expensive,' she whispered to him, watching as he frowned as he too studied the board, his voire gentle as he told her,

'Order whatever you want, Sally, and let me enjoy spoiling you a little bit... you deserve it.'

Sally had to look away from him. She could feel her face burning again, but this time not because she was embarrassed.

How long had it been since Joel had said anything to her like that... had made her feel valued and precious... had made her feel that it was a privilege and a pleasure to be with her?

In the end she ordered a lasagne and Kenneth did the same.

'Now,' he commanded when they had both been served, 'tell me what's wrong.'

'Wrong?' Sally stared at him, too surprised by his astuteness to question the intimacy of his demand. 'It's nothing...' she started to deny, and then when she saw his face she shook her head and admitted, 'It's Joel. He should hear today about his job. The factory he works for could be closed down and all the men made redundant. He's taking it very badly...' She bit her bottom lip. 'Worse than he needs to, really. It won't be easy but we could manage. I could go back to work full-time... Sister even said to me today that she thought I should take more training to help my career.' Sally laughed.

'I'm sure she's right,' Kenneth interrupted her. 'You're a very bright girl, Sally,' he told her before she could say anything. 'And it's a pity that...'

He stopped speaking abruptly.

"That what?' Sally challenged him.

'Nothing,' he told her quietly, and then admitted, 'I was going to say that it's a pity that your family didn't see to it that you had the chance to fulfil the potential you've so obviously got, but I didn't want you to think I was being critical of.. .of anyone.'

He meant of Joel, Sally recognised swiftly.

'Oh, you mustn't feel sorry for me,' she told him lightly. 'I was quite happy to give up work and stay home with the children.'

'Yes, but you're not happy now.'

Sally almost choked on the mouthful of food she had taken. She put down her knife and fork and looked at him.

'What makes you say that?' she asked him unsteadily.

'I can see it in your eyes,' he told her.

She looked across uncertainly at him, a tiny inner voice of caution warning her that what she was contemplating doing was dangerous, but the temptation to unburden herself to someone, to him, was too strong to resist.

'Tell me,' Kenneth insisted softly.

'I can't,' Sally protested. 'It's not.. .you're not...'

'Yes, you can. I'm not your patient any more, Sally, and I want to hear... to help.'

She shook her head as though trying to clear her thoughts.

'It's things at home,' she told him helplessly. 'Joel doesn't seem to realise how difficult it is for me, trying to work and doing everything there as well. He used to be so different but now it's almost as though he wants to mate things as hard for me as he can... and not just for me. It's the kids as well. He's always finding fault with them, snapping at them. I
know
how worried he is about his job, but that's all the more reason why he should...'

'Perhaps he doesn't like the idea of your working, being independent, meeting new people,' Kenneth ventured.

Sally looked at him.

'But he
knows
we need the money. I can't believe he's behaving so childishly. I mean, what would it cost him to clear the table in the morning and rinse a few plates? And if he would just offer to do something to help out instead of me always having to ask, to nag... He went to the supermarket the other day and came back without any washing powder. Can you believe that? When I asked him why he said they hadn't got the brand I'd put on my list. I mean, he
knew
I was waiting to do the washing.' Sally, lost in the relief of being able to unburden herself to someone, didn't hear the frustration and anger in her voice, but Kenneth did.

He had been attracted to her almost as soon as he was well enough to be aware of her; there was a quietness about her, an orderliness, a neatness that appealed very strongly to the aesthetic streak in his nature.

He liked the simple, natural way she wore her thick, dark hair, her lack of artifice and flirtatiousness. Other men might consider her sexuality to be covert, muted, but he liked that in her. The obvious had never appealed very strongly to him; he found it irritating, offensive almost.

He had seen the look in Sally's eyes when they talked; had recognised how unused she was to the stimulation of informed discussion, of good conversation, and how, unlike many of those he tutored, she had a humbleness, a modesty, a vulnerability that touched him. She would be a pleasure to teach, to nurture. It was obvious to him that her present way of life and in particular her husband were not truly fulfilling her.

It had shocked him at first to discover how much he missed her now that he was back at home, the strength of his feelings for her catching him a little off guard. Lying in his hospital bed, flirting with her, he had in many ways simply been playing a game, but now it wasn't a game any longer.

He wanted Sally in his life and he wanted her there badly.

It was obvious to him that her husband did not appreciate her, not as he would have done... not as he would do. He grimaced slightly as he glanced at her coat.

'You should be wearing cream,' he told her. 'That's what I would have bought you. Cream cashmere; you have the colouring for it. So few women do. Something plain and elegant with a skirt to match and a silk shirt to go with it.'

'Cream cashmere?' Sally flushed and laughed at the same time. 'I could never wear anything like that,' she denied, shaking her head slightly. 'Even if we could afford it, it would be far too impractical.'

'It would suit you,' Kenneth insisted. 'You deserve it,' he added. 'You deserve so much more out of life than you're getting, Sally. So very, very much more. I just wish that

I ' He broke off and she flushed even harder, guessing

what he had been about to say.

It both alarmed and excited her that he should make his feelings for her so obvious; that he should talk to her so intensely and with such emotion. Joel had never been very good at expressing his emotions verbally. Oh, he had told her he loved her, but he had looked so awkward with the words, so uncomfortable... he wasn't at ease with them in the way that Kenneth was.

Being with Kenneth was the complete opposite of being with Joel. With Kenneth she felt relaxed, happy, warmed by his appreciation of her. With Kenneth there was no tension, no inner dread, no anxiety. And no guilt?

She moved uncomfortably in her seat. Already she had told Kenneth far more about herself, about her personal life than she should, certainly more than she had intended telling him.

Normally she was far more reserved, but Kenneth had a way of drawing her out, making her feel that her thoughts, her feelings were important to him.

Kenneth saw the small betraying movement she made and, correctly reading her thoughts, knew better than to risk pressing her any further. He had sown the seeds; now he would just have to wait patiently for them to grow, for her to realise how much he could give her.

There was one question he could not resist asking her, though.

'But you do still love him...your husband, despite everything?'

'Yes, of course I do,' Sally responded quickly. Too quickly? she wondered uneasily; her heart jumped shakily in her chest as she acknowledged that it was almost as though she dared not allow herself to consider Kenneth's question just in case...

Just in case what? Of course she loved Joel; of course she did.

'I must go,' she told Kenneth. 'The kids will be back from school soon.'

'Yes, of course. It won't take long to run you back,' Kenneth assured her.

Immediately Sally tensed. 'No, I'd rather you dropped me at the bus stop, if you don't mind.'

She could feel herself flushing again as he looked at her. It wasn't that she felt she had done anything wrong she assured herself defensively, but her neighbours were the sort who wouldn't waste time in coming round to find out how she had come to arrive home in such state.

It would be easy enough to explain to them, of course, to tell them that an ex-patient had offered her a lift, and, even as she heard Kenneth agreeing pleasantly that if that was what she wanted then that was what he would do, she felt both angry and flustered with herself for the way she had over-reacted. Like someone guilty...someone who had something to hide.

Nevertheless, it was a shock to see Joel's car in the drive as she walked up to the house, and as her heart started to thump uncomfortably against her ribcage and her stomach tensed with anxiety at the shock of seeing his car there at such an unexpected time of the day her footsteps slowed slightly.

He was in the kitchen when she walked in, his back turned towards her as he filled the kettle. The breakfast things had been removed from the table, she noticed absently as she hurried over to him, but the surface was smeared and there were coffee-mug rings where Joel hadn't thought to wipe it clean.

'Why aren't you at work'?' she asked him anxiously as she took her coat off, but the moment he turned round she knew the answer. She could see it in his face, in the defeated look in his eyes.

'What work?' he asked tonelessly. 'There is no work. No work, no wages, and no damned redundancy either by the iooks of it.'

'Oh, but that's not possible! You've worked there since leaving school.'

'Yes, well, it seems that doesn't count for anything. According to what we were told this afternoon, we're only getting our current week's wages because the bank didn't want it all over the newspapers that they weren't going to pay us. As far as our redundancy money goes, we won't know if or what we're going to get until everything's been sold off.'

Sally could see from his face, hear in his voice just how much this extra blow had affected him. He looked and sounded not frightened exactly... more beaten and vulnerable, stripped of his confidence, his head, his whole body bowed.