Cruel Love (3 page)

Don’t leave me
, she thought.
Please don’t ever, ever leave me.

“Ana? Are you okay?” Jasper asked.

Ariana forced her fingers open and released his shirt. A little mound of white cotton stood up in the center of his chest. “Can you just … stay with me? Until I fall asleep?” she asked.

“I was planning on staying the whole night,” he replied.

He leaned down and kissed her ever so softly, and within minutes, Ariana had drifted off to sleep.

COME
TOGETHER

Wearing her black Stone and Grave robe, Ariana stood at her designated place between Tahira and Landon. e cavelike room beneath the library where all official meetings took place was as still as night. Candles flickered along the stone walls, set in sconces and candelabras of various heights and sizes, but other than the occasional rustling of a bell sleeve, the room was eerily silent. Ariana stared at the empty spots on the opposite side of the circle. Lexa, the president, was missing, of course. But the spot next to her, usually occupied by Palmer, was empty as well, as was the spot next to April Coorigan, usually occupied by Lexa’s boyfriend, Conrad Royce. No doubt they were both stationed dutifully at Lexa’s bedside.

Lexa’s current love and Lexa’s ex were each claiming a proprietary spot in the vigil. Ariana wondered if anyone had picked a fight yet. She hoped that if they had, Conrad had given Palmer a sound pummeling.

Finally, April lifted the hood from her head, exposing her mass of red curls. “We are the Stone and Grave,” she intoned. “We are the Stone and Grave,” the rest of the brotherhood replied.

“You may be seated,” April said.

Robes swished and throats were cleared as the membership settled in on the cold stone floor. Ariana crossed her legs and sat up straight. “I wonder what this is all about,” Tahira whispered. “Are we setting up a service for Lexa or something?”

Ariana shrugged as April began to speak.

“I’m going to dispense with ceremony for the evening,” she said clearly, her Irish brogue coming through. “We’ve all been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours, and we have some business to attend to, but first I wanted to give you all an update on our president.”

Ariana shifted her legs as everyone around the circle adjusted and squirmed, exchanging nervous, scared glances.

“I spoke to Lexa’s mother this afternoon and there was, unfortunately, no change,” April said, blinking rapidly as if trying to hold back tears. Still, her voice came through crystal clear. “Lexa has been through three surgeries to stop some internal bleeding, and her body has suffered a lot of trauma. She’s currently unconscious, but breathing on her own. They’re not sure when … or even if … she’s going to wake up.”

“She’s
going
to wake up,” Soomie snapped, leaning forward. “Don’t say that.”

e membership froze. Rarely, if ever, had Soomie raised her voice—and definitely never at a Stone and Grave meeting. Ariana swallowed a hard, cold lump in her throat.

“I apologize, Sister Emma Woodhouse. I was merely repeating the facts as they were told to me,” April said calmly.

“Well, it’s crap.” Soomie crossed her arms over her stomach and looked at the floor. “She’s going to wake up. She’s going to be fine.” April took a deep breath. “Is there anything else anyone would like to say? About Lexa or the situation or … anything?”

No one said a word.

“All right then,” April continued, casting a wary glance at Soomie. “As the highest-ranking member of the order now present, it’s my duty to enact the bylaws of our ancient brotherhood. Those bylaws state that if our president is incapacitated and unable to fulfill his or her duties, we are required to elect an interim president.”

Soomie scoffed, rolled her eyes, but said nothing. Landon raised his hand. “Yes, Brother Pip,” April acknowledged with a nod.

“Wouldn’t Palmer … I mean, Brother Starbuck just become president? Since he’s the V.P.?” “That
would
make life easier, but unfortunately, that’s not the way it works,” April replied.

“As far as I’m concerned, Brother Starbuck has no business acting as president anyway,” Tahira grumbled.

A few people exchanged confused glances, but Ariana noted that those who had been present in the ER the night before turned to look at Ariana, their expressions grim. “Seriously,” Maria said, reaching back to quickly tie her long brown hair into a floppy bun. “The guy’s a gargantuan asshole.”

Ariana hid a smile behind her hand. “Hey!” Landon protested.

Maria shot him a death glare from the other side of the circle. “An asshole who can’t handle a crisis,” she added. “Is that really the type of person we want running our chapter?”

“Look, the guy was freaking out, okay?” Landon said. “You can’t hold it against him.”

“Whatever,” Soomie put in, rolling her eyes. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Lexa’s going to get better and she’ll be back before we know it. Whoever gets elected will probably only be in office a couple of weeks.”

Her assertion was met with complete quiet. Ariana glanced at Tahira and knew they were thinking the same thing—that everyone in the
room
was thinking the same thing—Soomie was in denial. Of course, no one had actually
seen
Lexa. No one knew firsthand how severe her injuries were. But anyone with a grasp on reality had to know that even if Lexa did get better, she wouldn’t be back at school for a while, if at all.

“Maybe we should just take nominations,” April said, looking around the circle. “Anyone?”

At that moment, Ariana’s cell phone let out a loud ring. Tahira flinched and Ariana glanced around apologetically as she tried to fish the phone out of her back pocket. “I’m sorry. I know we’re supposed to turn them off. But I thought that, under the circumstances …”

Ariana slid the phone out and checked the screen. She had one new text message. Her heart rate sped up when she saw that it was from Conrad.

“It’s from Brother Lear,” Ariana said, her thumb quaking as she opened the text. She stared at the words for a moment, her mind going blank, her skull weightless. “Well? What does it say?” Soomie demanded.

Ariana looked up. The flickering candlelight seemed to dim and brighten and dim and brighten. “Lexa’s awake.”

THE
HONOR

e pink light of dawn was just warming the windowpanes of the ICU waiting area when Mrs. Greene finally emerged from Lexa’s room. Ariana and her friends lifted their heads in unison, like some macabre ballet. In her rumpled green sweater set and gray pants, Lexa’s mother looked exhausted, but also hopeful. e eyeliner around her eyes was smudged, and she wore no lipstick, but there was a small smile on her dry lips.

“Ana?” she said, lacing her fingers together. “Lexa is asking for you.”

Ariana’s heart skipped an excited beat as all eyes turned to her. It was all she could do to keep from shooting a triumphant glance in Palmer’s direction. He’d already been here when Ariana and her friends had arrived, but had stayed seated in the corner, far away from the rest of the crowd. Over the past couple of hours he hadn’t moved a muscle and hadn’t uttered a single word to anyone.

Think our friendship is fake, huh?
Ariana thought as she smoothed the front of her eyelet cashmere sweater.
Idiot.

Jasper reached up and gave Ariana’s hand a squeeze. She lifted her chin as she followed Lexa’s mother down the hallway. is was an honor, being the first person summoned to Lexa’s bedside, and she felt the import of it down to the tips of her toenails.

Ariana paused outside the door. She looked hesitantly at Lexa’s mother. “Is she … I mean, is she … okay?”

ere was no way she could ask what she really wanted to ask, which was how grotesque Lexa looked. She wanted to be prepared, but she was certain it would be impolite and unkind to press her mother for details.

“I won’t lie, dear, it’s a bit of a shock at first,” Mrs. Greene said, reaching up to fiddle with her pearls. “But you get used to it.”

Ariana nodded, placed her hand on the cold steel door handle, and walked inside. She half expected Lexa’s mother to come with her, but the door closed slowly and quietly behind her. e moment Ariana saw Lexa she froze, realizing how stupid her question to Mrs. Greene had been. Nothing could have prepared her for this. Lexa was turned away from her, but Ariana could see that one side of Lexa’s face was a huge purple bruise, so swollen Ariana could barely make out the slit of her eye. Angry black stitches clung to a huge gash along her cheekbone, and her battered face was covered with hundreds of tiny cuts.

Slowly, Lexa turned her head to face Ariana. e other side of her face looked relatively untouched except for a few red scratches. Her hair had been shaved back over her ear and a bandage was taped to her skull. Only one of her hands was visible—the one with all the IVs and monitors attached to it—and it lay limp atop the light blue hospital blanket.

“I know, right?” Lexa said, her voice scratchy. “I could have my own horror franchise.”

Ariana managed a small laugh and took a tentative step toward her friend. “Are you in much pain? Do you need anything?”

Lexa closed her eyes briefly as she swallowed, as if the mere act took concentration. “No. I’m good. I’m so hopped up on painkillers I feel nothing.” Carefully, Ariana lowered herself onto the edge of the chair at Lexa’s bedside. She felt as if touching or moving anything could set off an alarm.

“Ana, listen … I asked you to come in here because I wanted to tell you … I’ve decided I’m going to tell my parents about what happened with Lily.”

Suddenly Ariana felt as if the floor had dropped out from under her. She reached out and grasped the cool metal safety rail around Lexa’s bed as her vision darkened with gray spots.

“No,” was all she could think to say.

“I have to, Ana,” Lexa said, her voice sounding tinny and very far away. “It’s going to be okay. It was all done in self-defense. I’m sure my father will make sure nothing happens to you. But I have to tell them. Clearly, I have to tell them,” she added, looking down at her broken body. “I can’t handle it anymore. You have to understand.”

e temperature in the room seemed to grow warmer with each passing moment. Ariana reached up and tugged at the collar of her sweater, trying to breathe. Trying to think. Trying to see past the gray spots. This could not happen. She could not let this happen. This would mean the end of everything.

And then she saw it. Sitting on a countertop on the opposite side of Lexa’s bed. A silver tray lined with medical equipment. A pair of scissors. A roll of gauze. A scalpel. A syringe. Slowly, Ariana pushed herself to her feet and walked around the end of Lexa’s bed.

“Do you want to talk to them with me?” Lexa asked, following Ariana with her eyes. “If we told them the story together … exactly how it happened … it might come out better.”

Ariana glanced down at the tube running into Lexa’s left arm. It was filled with dark red blood. She was receiving a transfusion even as they talked. “Sure,” she said, her voice flat. “Sure, I’ll do it with you.”

“Really?” Lexa’s head lifted a centimeter from her pillow, then fell back again. Apparently just that effort was too much for her. She closed her eyes and breathed out through her mouth. “Thank you, Ana. I knew you’d understand.”

Ariana tugged a pair of plastic gloves from a cardboard box on the counter and pulled them on, making sure not to snap the wrists. She lifted the syringe, keeping her back to Lexa. Slowly, she sucked a nice, big pocket of air into the syringe.

“Of course I understand. We can’t have you trying to kill yourself again,” Ariana said.

Lexa exhaled once more and tears seeped out from under her closed eyes. “I just … I couldn’t see any other way out,” she said. “at night I just … I couldn’t imagine making my parents suffer through that scandal. Us possibly ending up in jail. Everything seemed so bleak. I just … I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I understand,” Ariana said calmly.

She turned around and used the very tip of the syringe to prick the tiny tube carrying the lifeblood into Lexa’s vein. en, ever so quickly, she pushed down on the plunger, emptying all the air into the tube.

Lexa’s eyes opened, focusing on Ariana’s face as Ariana dropped her hands down to her sides and behind her back, tucking the syringe out of view. “Thank you, Ana. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Suddenly, Lexa’s eyes went wide. Her mouth dropped open as she gasped out in pain. Her hand fluttered up from the mattress as if reaching for her chest, but there was no time. It sank back against the sheets again, and the line on her heart monitor went flat.

Quickly, Ariana returned the syringe to its proper place, ripped off the gloves, and shoved them into her pockets. Then she lunged for the door, as any surprised, panicked visitor might do under the circumstances. She was just reaching for the handle, when the door flew open, almost taking her down.

“What happened?” a male orderly shouted at her.

“I … I don’t know,” Ariana stuttered, backing herself against the wall as a crash cart came careening through. “She just … one second she was talking and then she gasped and closed her eyes and … is she going to be all right?”

“You need to go, Miss.” A nurse placed her hands on Ariana’s arms and shoved her out the door. Mrs. Greene was just stepping out of the elevator with a cup of coffee and nearly collided with Ariana. Her face went slack and the coffee hit the floor.

“Lexa?” she said tentatively. The she saw what was going on inside the room and screamed. “Lexa!”

Ariana’s friends jumped up and gathered around the doorway of the waiting area, clinging to one another, straining to see what was going on. Jasper stepped forward and pulled Ariana back, away from the commotion.

“What happened?” Soomie asked tearfully. “Ana? What happened?”

Ariana swallowed hard. For the first time in the last several minutes the whole world was in sharp focus. She could see the freckles on Maria’s face, the stubble on

Palmer’s chin, the striations in Tahira’s lips. They all looked so frightened. So devastated. So sad.