Crushing (16 page)

“That’s a lot of sorrys,” I pointed out.

“Well, I’m kind of an ass so . . .” He chuckled.

“Yes. Yes you are.” I smiled. “I mean it, though. I need to get back before Jackson calls out the National Guard.”

We started back. “So you’re sorry. Sorry about what exactly?” I wasn’t looking at him.

“Oh man. You’re going to make me suffer, right?” He looked at me sideways while we walked.

“I think maybe I am.” I was having fun torturing him. He deserved it after last week, but besides that, I needed to know.

“I’m sorry I was a jerk to you at the match and for ignoring you all week. Although, you didn’t go out of your way to talk to me either.” He was quick to point that out.

“I wouldn’t dare after the death glares I got, plus you made me really mad.”

“Yeah, I kinda got that.” He grinned. “Is there something else I should apologize for?”

“Yes, there is.” I hesitated to tell him what it was. Did I want to go there?

“Well, I’m not going to apologize for kissing you, because I’m not sorry.” He was adamant.

“I’m not mad that you kissed me. I’m mad at the reason you did it.”

“What do you mean?” He looked a bit confused.

“You said you did it to prove that I shouldn’t go out with Dom. That’s why I was mad.”

We arrived at my back gate.

“Rory, that’s not why I kissed you. I just said that because I couldn’t believe you would do that and still go out with another guy.” He reached up and ran his hand along my cheek into my hair.

“Well, since you didn’t even give me a chance to think before you got mad, how did you know I was still going to go? I might have changed my mind.” I was starting to get that woozy feeling that only happened when he got too close. One of the squirrels cracked an eye open and gave the other one an elbow nudge.

“I guess I should have made you break the date right then, huh? While you were still so amazed by my kissing skills.”

“Wow, someone is very full of himself.”

“Did you compare them with Dom’s skills last night?” He wasn’t looking directly at me. He was playing with the ties to my hoodie and trying to sound casual.

“Why would you think I kissed Dom last night?” He had a lot of nerve.

“Well, you were out on a date with him, and you sat in his truck in your driveway for long enough.”

“Spying on me? Really?” How did he make me mad this fast?

“Hey, I can’t help it if your driveway is right outside my bedroom window. I figured you’d decided to compare notes on who was the better kisser.” Did they both think this was some game to be won?

“Even if I was, it isn’t any of your business. Nice to know you think so highly of me though. Do me a favor? Stay off my balcony. As a matter of fact, just stay away from me.” I opened the gate and went into the yard, snapping it shut behind me. Infuriating jerk! Ugh!

When I got inside, Jeremiah was at the door with lots of questions and looking angry.

“Where were you, Rory? It’s a good thing I didn’t know you were missing.”

“I wasn’t missing. I was walking on the beach. Now I’m going to the kitchen.” I tried to brush by him.

“Was he here all night? Did you tell Jack?”

“He was here.” My brother started to turn different shades of red. “But he slept out on my balcony. I didn’t know he was there until an hour ago, when I opened my drapes.”

And his color went back to normal. Crisis averted.

“What was he doing out there?” he demanded.

“I think he was just worried about me, so he and the puppy just slept in a sleeping bag on the balcony to be sure. Whatever.”

He nodded. “Uh-huh. Well, you shouldn’t go wandering around on the beach at all hours.”

“I’m pretty sure nobody was going to grab me while I was with Gage and the dog. How did you know he was here all night?” I asked.

I just saw him grab his sleeping bag from the backyard, and it freaked me out.” He grinned. “I shouldn’t have worried.”

“I should think not.” My quicksilver brother. Moods that changed so fast, if you blinked, you’d miss them.

“So, are you really okay after last night?” He was looking me over like I was going to fall apart any second.

“Yes, I’m fine, but I didn’t sleep much.”

He nodded at that. He pulled me in for a hug.

“Nightmare?” he asked.

“No, not enough sleep for that.”

“You scared me. Again.”

“Sorry.” I gave him a squeeze.

“Please, can you just try to stay out of trouble while Mom and Dad are gone?” he begged.

“Like somehow this was my fault?”

“No, but trouble has a way of finding you.”

I looked up and stuck my tongue out at him.

He ignored me.

I let go and made my way to the fridge. “So I was thinking that I’m sick of boys, present company excepted, of course. Mind if I have the girls over for a girls’ night tonight?”

“Girls? I kinda like girls.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“Ewww, you’re gross.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“That’s not what she said.” More eyebrow wiggling.

I made a gagging sound. “Go find your own girls. Stay away from my friends.”

“No worries there. Not my thing.” He shuddered. “Jackson and I will be home tonight though. So I’m sure it’s fine. How many girls exactly?”

“Laken and Veronica. Maybe one or two others.”

He gave me a long-suffering look. “Chick flicks on the big screen?”

“Yup.”

“Pedicures and manicures at the breakfast bar?”

“Yup.”

“Girl food?”

“Sushi and mochi.”

He sighed. “I’m a good brother, ya know that?”

“Yes, you are.” I gave him another quick hug as I went by. “Now you get to tell Jackson for me. Thanks!” I flounced upstairs. I heard him mumbling to himself about being a sucker.

#

I called my girls, and they were happy to have a night off from boy drama too. They never counted my brothers, because they were awesome, and I was pretty sure Veronica was never going to turn down a chance to see Jackson, or vice versa, for that matter. Just my humble opinion.

Ruby and Kelly from Student Leadership were coming over too. They were younger, but as seniors we had responsibilities to the younger girls, and these were the two we knew were going to be taking over when we left. Besides, they were cool.

Veronica picked me up so we could go to the store and the sushi place. After she interrogated me at length about the break-in and was satisfied, she moved on to Dominic.

“So how was the date?” She wanted to know first thing.

“Really fun. Thanks for helping with my stuff. I love night surfing.”

“What did you think about being out with him?”

“Well, I’m not sure. I told him I kissed Gage, and it all went a little sideways then. I had a bit of a meltdown.”

“You told him? Was he mad?”

“Nope, you know Dom. Not too much throws him. I think he already knew something had happened at the match.”

“Did you kiss him?”

“No. I couldn’t. I felt weird. Like I would be trying on guys like clothes, you know?”

“I guess I see your point. So girls’ night. Do we have the sushi orders?”

We zipped around town getting everything we needed. We got back as the sun was going down. Veronica dropped me off again to run home to get her stuff, and then pick up Kelly and Ruby.

I put the food away and tried powering up my phone again, and it actually turned on. The screen was cracked, but I could still read it. I had texts from Dom and Gage both. Dom was just checking in. The one from Gage was a little more telling:

Hey, sorry. I’m a jerk. I keep upsetting you and that is not what I want at all. I’m not sure if you are going to get this because your phone is broken but I wanted to send it anyway since I’m not sure if you are ever going to talk to me. I can’t say everything I need to say by text. You can call me if that works better or you can come here. My uncle is out tonight so Bailee and I will be kicking it by ourselves. Totally and completely alone. Lonely. She misses you and is asking for you to come over so . . .

After consideration I decided to text back.

Getting Bailee to do your dirty work for you?

He answered back almost right away.

You gotta use what you got, right?

He thought he was funny. While I was figuring out what to say I got:
Can you come over?

I wasn’t sure if I should go over there.

Maybe for a minute. Girls’ night tonight.

Girls’ night? Can I come?

Are you a girl?

No but I like girls. They’re my favorite.

What is with you boys? Really?

One in particular though.

Hmmm…

She’s really beautiful.

I see.

And sweet.

She’s also probably an idiot but I’m coming over anyway.

Do you know her?

=/

I told Jackson and Jeremiah where I would be and quickly crossed the street. I rang the doorbell and heard barking coming from a distance but moving fast toward the door.

The door opened, and Bailee ran out and rammed me with her head right in the shin.

Gage shouted at her. “Bailee, stop! Sorry, she’s still in her ramming phase.” He grabbed her collar. “Come in.”

We made our way back to the family room. I hadn’t seen much of his house since he had moved back. Just the foyer last night.

The back wall of the family room had a bank of windows looking out to the golf course and the marsh. It was a gorgeous view. I had forgotten about that. He had golf on the big screen.

“Do you want something to drink?” He seemed nervous.

“No, I’m good.”

“Here, sit down.” He walked us over to a big sectional and motioned for me to sit.

“Okay. What did you want to say? I have to get back soon. The girls will be getting here in a bit.”

He sat down and put his elbows on his knees. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for being a jerk. My brain/mouth filter has been out of order for some time now, and I understand why you’ve been getting mad at me.”

“Ah, I see. Yes, that can be a problem.” I could feel a grin fighting to make its way out.

“Yes, I hear it is pretty common in guys my age. I’ve experienced it a time or two before, but this time has been the worst.”

I reached down and petted Bailee. I wanted to think about what I was going to say here—speaking of filters.

“Okay.”

We sat there for a moment looking at each other and not saying anything. I felt like the air was crackling. I needed to tell him what I had decided.

“I’ve made a kind of decision, and I’m hoping you and Dom will cooperate.”

“What kind of decision?”

“A decision not to decide.” I looked at him to see how he would take this.

“So you’re just going to keep us both on the hook and keep playing this game.” He was starting to look mad.

“Actually, no. I’ve decided to take myself out of the game altogether. I’m trying not to hurt anyone here, but it doesn’t seem to be working. So, yeah, that’s it.”

He looked confused.

“Your feelings belong to you, and Dom’s belong to him. I’m only responsible for mine. So I’ve decided I am not going to date or kiss either of you. For now. I like you, Gage. I missed you. I’m so glad you’re back, but I like Dom too. I now realize I don’t know you very well anymore, and I know Dom too well.” I wanted him to understand where I was coming from. This didn’t need to be difficult.

“So I’m just going to have friends. No dating anyone. This situation is too dramatic. I don’t want to ruin the rest of my senior year this way. If you want to be my friend, great. If not, I’m sorry about that, but until I know how I feel and I can stop hurting people, I’m not even thinking about dating anyone.”

He looked a bit stunned.

“Competition over.” I stood up to leave. “I have to get back. Enjoy your night.”

“Uh, Rory?”

I turned back. He was smirking at me. What? He wasn’t mad?

“You realize you just made it that much more of a challenge, right?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. I was going to get crow’s feet quickly around him.

“You said my feelings belong to me, and Rossi’s belong to him, right?”

“Yes.”

He stood up. “Well, if you don’t mind me sayin’, I know a little more about the male brain than you do. You just made things that much more interesting. And after watching Mr. Perfect for the last few weeks, I’m gonna say he’ll feel the same way I do.”

“That’s ridiculous.” What in the world was he talking about? I thought he would just accept my decision and move on. Then we could be friends, and it would be easy.

He shrugged. “Maybe to you.”

“I just want this to be easy with no one getting hurt.”

He walked over to me and moved right into my personal space.

“Well, Rory, life isn’t always going to go your way.” He looked down at me. “Everyone else you know may jump whenever you say and do things exactly the way you want, but guess what? I don’t work like that.”

“They don’t do everything my way.” Well, maybe they did, a little.

“Uh-huh. Whatever you say. Just thought I’d let you know. I’m not going to just be your friend. That is not an option.”

He had to be the most frustrating person I knew.

“Well, I guess we’ve reached an impasse. I’m going.” Since he came back into my life, I felt like I couldn’t get my bearings. Every time I thought I had it straight, he upended it again.

“All right. You do what you have to do, and I’ll do what I have to.” His smile was angelic.

I started stomping toward the front door. Bailee was following me, jumping and trying to ram me in the back of the legs.

When I got to the door, he was right behind me. “Don’t I even get a hug good-bye? It’s what a good friend would do.”

I closed my eyes. He was impossible. I turned around and waited.

He put his arms around me and pulled me close. I tried to put some distance between our bodies, but he was having none of it. He put his hands in my hair and tilted my head back.

I could feel the blood rush to my face, and the squirrels were warming up for a break-dancing competition, twirling and spinning on their backs.

“I’m not Dominic, Rory. You can’t boss me around and expect me to listen.” He ran his thumb over my cheek.

He stepped back and opened the door for me. “You go on and have fun with the girls this evening.”

My head was spinning, and all of a sudden I was unsure of the course I had decided on. Had I just waved a red flag in his face? I definitely wasn’t as smart as I thought I was. It took effort, but as I made my way across the street, I didn’t look back.