Crystal (34 page)

‘I feel like he’s trying to punish me,’ Crystal declared, on her third glass of wine.

‘Maybe he’s just really insecure because of his last relationship,’ Tahlia suggested, still sipping her first glass.

‘But I haven’t done anything to make him feel insecure!’ Crystal said passionately. ‘God I need a cigarette.’

‘Don’t give in,’ Tahlia warned. ‘You’ll regret it if you do. You need to talk to him. Why don’t you call him?’

‘I’m not calling him,’ Crystal said stubbornly. ‘Anyway, that witch Stella is round there. God, I can’t stand her. I wish she’d bugger off back to her flat. I can’t believe it still isn’t finished.

‘She isn’t the nicest person in the world,’ her friend agreed in a typical Tahlia understatement.

‘And I told him I loved him,’ Crystal groaned, putting her head in her hands. ‘He’s going to leave me for sure now.’

‘Don’t you think there’s a chance that he loves you?’ Tahlia answered. ‘Remember what he was like in Ibiza, how he looked after you, how he was the one who wanted to get back together? He’s definitely in love with you.’

‘Do you really think so?’ Crystal asked hopefully. ‘God,
I wish
. I’ve never felt like this about anyone.’ She paused, wondering if Tahlia was right, then realised how self-centred she was being. ‘And now I’m going to stop going on about myself. I’ve come round here and ranted away at you, drunk all your wine and I haven’t even asked you how you are.’

Tahlia smiled, ‘I’m great, Crystal. It’s going really well with Hadley; we’re looking at houses together tomorrow. But you never have to apologise, babe, you’re my best friend.’

Crystal felt slightly calmer in the taxi ride home. Tahlia was right; she should talk to Jake. They would work through it. But her feeling of calm deserted her the minute she got out of the car and saw Jake sitting on her front step.
What if he’s come here to finish with me?
she thought anxiously, strongly tempted to run away. But he’d already spotted her. She took a deep breath and walked towards him.

Jake was the first to speak. ‘I’ve been a complete dickhead. Please say you forgive me.’

He sounded so genuine that Crystal’s anger melted away. She sat down next to him. ‘I forgive you, so long as you promise not to be like that again – you were doing my head in!’

Jake put his arm round her and pulled her to him. ‘I promise,’ he murmured.

‘Good,’ Crystal replied. There were times when a hug and a kiss would do to make up but this was not one of them, and Crystal knew that only a class A shag could help them move on. ‘Now get inside and fuck me.’

Jake did not disappoint.

Over the past months, Crystal had written the lyrics for over ten songs and even though she didn’t have a record deal she wanted to record them. They were intensely personal, heartfelt songs about love, loss, betrayal. She negotiated a special studio rate with Phil, who had worked with her when she was in Lost Angels
.
He owned a recording studio in west London and told Crystal she could use it when they weren’t busy. That often meant going there late at night. Tahlia had written the music for several of her new songs and Crystal had shelled out her last few grand for three musicians to record it. She’d finish each session with such a mix of emotions – exhilaration that she was singing again and deep frustration that her career had hit a dead end. Phil had heard some of her new material and offered to play it to some of his friends in the business. He was sure that they would offer her
a record deal, but she turned him down. ‘I know they’re not going to be interested and I just don’t think I can take rejection at the moment. I’m just doing this for myself right now.’

Phil raised his eyebrows. ‘If that’s what you want, Crystal, but I think you’re making a mistake; you’re really talented. I’m certain you’d get another deal.’

Crystal shook her head. ‘I don’t think so; the public still have such a negative image of me.’

‘Come on, Crystal, stop beating yourself up. It doesn’t suit you.’

But Crystal was already walking out the door. ‘I’ll call next week to see when you’ve got free studio time.’

However, while she was still fearful of what people thought of her, she did want an audience for her songs again. Without telling any of her friends, she started her own page on MySpace and uploaded her new songs on to it. She called herself Pearl and, instead of posting up her photograph, she put up a picture of a black rose with a pearl at its centre. She also started writing a blog, which she found strangely therapeutic, though for obvious reasons she had to be economical with the truth. She could talk about her songs at least and what they meant to her; she also used the blog to vent her frustration about having Stella constantly round at Jake’s (she didn’t use their real names) and the fact that she was in love with her boyfriend and she wasn’t sure if he loved her. The first few times she logged on, she could hardly bear to go to her page in case someone had posted a nasty message about her music, or had realised who she was, but the messages she received were all complimentary – something which gave her such a thrill. It was a small thing but a confidence boost she badly needed.

Things were definitely going more smoothly between Jake and her too. He seemed more relaxed, less uptight and almost back to the Jake she first knew. He didn’t talk about Max any more, and it no longer seemed as if he felt he had something to prove when they had sex. He had never
mentioned her ‘I love you’, though, which made Crystal think that either he hadn’t heard it or it was so far from what he felt that he didn’t want to talk about it. She tried to hold on to Tahlia’s words that he did love her and so many times she was convinced he was going to say it – times when they’d just made love, times when they spoke on the phone when he was away – but he didn’t. It was deeply frustrating. They’d been back with each other for three months but it felt like their relationship could only go so far before Jake put the brakes on it. And having Stella around all the time certainly didn’t help.

‘Doesn’t she have any friends?’ Crystal demanded when Stella was hanging out in the flat and expecting to have dinner and watch a DVD with them, again. If it had been anyone else, Crystal wouldn’t have minded so much, but as it was Stella she hated not having Jake to herself – especially since she knew Stella had spent most of the day with him in the studio.

‘I know it’s a real pain and, honestly, I’m as fed up with it as you, but she’ll be gone soon. And I know she’s still feeling really down about her ex. He’s going out with one of her friends now and I think it’s really knocked her confidence,’ Jake replied.

‘Jake, I’ve really had enough of her! She needs to give us some privacy, for God sake!’ Crystal exclaimed, pacing angrily round the room.

‘Okay, how about I say to her that’s she got till the end of the week, then she’s got to go and stay with someone else. Will that make you happy?’ Jake asked.

‘Hmm,’ Crystal replied. She’d only be happy when Stella, pert bum and all, walked out of the door for the last time.

To Crystal it seemed that Stella’s number one hobby at the moment was making her feel inadequate. Practically every time she saw Crystal she’d assume a look of false concern and say, ‘How’s work going, Crystal?’ The week running up to Jake’s thirtieth birthday was no exception. Crystal arrived at his flat to find Stella wearing a vest and tiny Lycra shorts and
practising her yoga moves in the living room. Crystal muttered ‘Hi’ and went to seek out Jake but Stella called out from the lotus position, ‘You should try this sometime, Crystal. It’s so good for getting rid of aggression and tension.’

Crystal wanted to reply that the only way to get rid of any tension would be to get rid of Stella, but instead she muttered that she preferred going to the gym.

‘I see that Lost Angels have got a new singer now. So does that mean you’ll definitely not be going back to them?’ Stella asked, trying her best to needle Crystal.

Bitch.
‘Actually I’m doing some modelling at the moment,’ Crystal answered. ‘So I’ve been too busy to think about it.’

‘Fashion?’ Stella asked, her interest piqued.

‘Mainly glamour. In fact I’ve got a shoot in a couple of weeks with Angel.’

‘Oh,’ Stella did not sound impressed. ‘Won’t you mind taking your clothes off?’

‘No,’ Crystal lied.

‘And what does Jake think of your new line of work?’

‘What new line of work?’ Jake asked, wandering into the living room. He’d just had a shower and was wearing only a towel round his waist. Crystal shot Stella a look which said
he’s mine and only mine.
And then, not caring that his skin was still damp, she put her arms round him and kissed him.

‘My modelling,’ she replied. The magazine with her naked Harley poses was coming out next week and she was not looking forward to Jake seeing the pictures.

‘So what do you want to do for your thirtieth?’ Crystal asked when they were finally alone together lying in bed that night.

‘Let’s just go out for dinner. I hate big parties and I hate being the centre of attention,’ Jake said gently stroking her shoulder.

‘Truthfully? You really don’t want me to organise you a party?’

‘Definitely not,’ Jake replied. ‘I would be so pissed off if anyone did.’

‘Okay, well, I’ll book us somewhere really exclusive for dinner.’ Crystal already had an idea what she was going to do. Jez had given her a crash course in cooking a delicious meal of grilled monkfish with new potatoes and salsa verde and grilled peppers, with chocolate soufflé for dessert – she would surprise Jake with a romantic dinner at her flat. It certainly would be a surprise as the only thing Crystal had cooked for Jake so far was toast and she’d even managed to burn that. That sorted, she had to decide what to buy him. Recently Jake had lost his watch and she thought a new one would make a perfect present. She roped Jez into coming to the jeweller’s with her, so she could see the watch on a male wrist, though, as Jez pointed out, Jake’s wrist was quite a bit more masculine than his.

‘That one’s divine,’ Jez said, pointing out a watch that cost over three grand.

Crystal’s face fell. ‘There’s no way I can afford that.’

‘Okay,’ Jez said briskly. ‘Well, he’s into his diving, isn’t he, so why don’t we look at some TAG Heuers? You could get a really good watch for under a grand.’

‘Have you ever thought about a job on QVC?’ Crystal joked as Jez picked up watch after watch, checking out their qualities, and weighing each one up.

‘I like that one’ – she pointed out one with a stainless-steel and gold-plated strap – it looked classy but understated and it came in at nine hundred, which was all the credit Crystal had left on her card.

Jez modelled it for her, holding out his wrist as if to check the time, getting up from his chair and walking round the shop, then pausing again to check the time for effect.

‘That’s a very nice watch, madam, but have you considered the one with the diamonds on the face,’ asked the female assistant who obviously recognised Crystal and assumed she’d be loaded.

‘No, this one is perfect,’ Crystal replied, handing over her credit card and praying it wouldn’t be declined.

‘
NOW, ARE YOU
sure you don’t want me to come over and help you cook?’ Jez asked Crystal over the phone. It was the morning of Jake’s thirtieth and Crystal wanted everything to be perfect. Jake had taken the day off work and she planned to take him to a spa hotel for an afternoon of pampering treatments and then back to hers in the evening for dinner.

‘Thanks, but I’ve got to do it on my own,’ Crystal replied, mentally ticking off all the things she had to do – clean flat – for the first time in longer than she cared to remember – buy flowers, set out candles and prepare the food. As soon as she put the phone down she raced round the flat tidying up and working through her list. Two hours later she was letting herself into Jake’s flat.

He’d got back very late from a shoot the night before and she wanted to surprise him with his present. ‘Happy birthday,’ she said slipping off her shoes and getting into bed with him.

‘Hi,’ he said sleepily, putting his arm round her.

‘Don’t you want to open your present?’ Crystal asked as Jake began untying her wrap dress.

‘In a minute. I’ll have this one first. That’s if you want to shag an older man.’

Crystal looked as if she was considering it, then cheekily reached down under the covers and grabbed him. ‘Only if he’s got a rock-hard cock.’

‘It’s your lucky day, princess,’ Jake said, rolling on top of her.

‘Okay, open it now,’ Crystal demanded, handing him the gift-wrapped box some time later. He’d bought her such lovely things – the Chanel watch and some gorgeous animal-print Roberto Cavalli lingerie – and she really wanted him to like her present.

To her delight, Jake seemed genuinely pleased with the watch, putting it straight on. ‘That is so great, and I love that I can wear it when I go diving. Thanks, Crystal,’ he said as he kissed her.

‘Right, you stay exactly where you are because I’m making you breakfast in bed – freshly squeezed orange juice, champagne and croissants suit you, sir?’

‘That’ll do nicely,’ Jake said, lying back in bed, smiling at her.

‘By the way,’ Crystal said, pausing in the doorway in Jake’s white towelling robe, ‘is Stella here?’

‘Oh, I meant to tell you. She’s moved back home; the decorators have finally finished.’

‘Okay,’ Crystal said nonchalantly before doing a little victory dance on her own in the kitchen.

The rest of the day went exactly as Crystal had planned. They swam and hung out in the hot tub, steam room and sauna. At the end of the day they each had an aromatherapy massage in the same room which left them both feeling totally blissed out.

‘I wish we’d booked to stay at the hotel,’ Jake said as they lay by the pool, ‘then I could take you upstairs right now.’

Crystal smiled; she was thinking the exact same thing herself. Lying next to Jake and seeing his half-naked body turned her on and brought out her naughty streak. ‘Well,’ she whispered, ‘if you’ll follow me, sir.’ She got up, took Jake’s hand and led him away from the pool. She paused outside the disabled loo and then, checking no one was watching, she opened the door and pulled him inside.