Crystal (43 page)

‘He loves you!’ Tahlia said happily. ‘I knew he did! And the book is like a love letter to you. He’s loved you all this time.’

‘But when did he post it?’ Crystal checked the postmark. ‘Two weeks ago! He must be wondering why the hell I haven’t called him. He’s going to think I don’t love him.’ It was too cruel a twist of fate.

‘Call him now!’ Tahlia urged her and Crystal scrambled through her bag for her phone. But when she called him he was on voice mail. ‘It’s Crystal; I’ve only just got the book.’ She paused; finally she could tell him how she felt. ‘I love you too, Jake. Will you call me, please, it’s urgent.’

‘He could be anywhere,’ she said despairingly, getting up from the sofa, because she couldn’t bear to sit still. ‘He could have gone back to the States for all I know, because he hasn’t heard from me.’

‘You don’t know that,’ Tahlia tried to reassure her. ‘He’ll call. He loves you!’

Jake loved her! He’d said it at last, it was what she’d longed for all these long, lonely months, when she thought she had lost him, but where was he? Suddenly Crystal was seized by a powerful contraction that left her gasping for breath. ‘Tahlia! I think I’m going into labour!’

‘Okay,’ Tahlia replied calmly, ‘remember the breathing: breathe in through your nose and let it out slowly as the contraction goes.’

‘I’ve got to tell Jake about the baby!’ Crystal cried. ‘I want him here, he’s got to be here.’

‘Calm down, babe, you mustn’t get too emotional.’

Crystal wanted to shout that of course she felt emotional. Her world had just been turned upside down!

‘I’ll run you a bath, it’ll help with the contractions,’ Tahlia said. ‘And I’ll call the hospital.’

Crystal tried Jake again, but he was still on voice mail.

She lay in the bath for forty minutes, fretting about Jake – what if he didn’t have his mobile with him? What if he had left the country? After all these months when she thought he was out of her life, and she had resigned herself to having the baby without him, now she wanted him with her, wanted it more than anything. She didn’t think about how he would react to the news; all she knew was that he had to be by her side when their baby was born.

But he didn’t call back and when she got out of the bath the contractions were coming more frequently and were becoming more powerful. ‘Bloody hell!’ she exclaimed. ‘This really hurts; they don’t get worse than this, do they?’ she asked Tahlia anxiously, suddenly feeling frightened and overwhelmed at the prospect of what was to come.

Tahlia avoided answering the question, saying instead, ‘You’ll be fine, babe. I’ll just time them and if they’re three minutes apart we’d better get to the hospital.’

At that moment Crystal felt warm liquid trickling down her leg. ‘Oh my God, I’m not bleeding, am I?’

‘No, no,’ Tahlia reassured her, ‘it’s just your waters breaking. That’s good, you won’t need them broken by the midwife, but I think we should definitely get you to the hospital now.’

Crystal insisted on calling Jake while they waited for a taxi, but he was on voice mail still. She was going to have to leave a message about the baby. She hadn’t wanted to tell him like
this, but time was running out. ‘It’s Crystal again. I know this is going to come as a shock but I’m in labour. I’m having our baby, Jake. I’m going to be at St Mary’s Hospital. Please, please, can you get here.’

‘I’ll phone Gavin,’ Tahlia offered. ‘He’s bound to know where he is.’

‘He’s travelling!’ Crystal exclaimed, feeling more and more desperate.

‘She’s not going to give birth in here, is she? I’ve just had it valeted,’ the cabbie joked as he drove Crystal and Tahlia to the hospital.

‘No,’ Tahlia answered, rolling her eyes. Crystal couldn’t speak. She was suddenly gripped by a contraction and this time the pain was appalling.

‘Remember the breathing,’ Tahlia urged her, as Crystal felt overwhelmed with agony.

‘Try Jake again,’ she panted, when the pain had passed. But Tahlia just got his voice mail again.

‘Will that man ever learn to switch on his bloody phone?’ Crystal cried in exasperation and desperation. ‘He might be at his parents. I haven’t got their number but can you get it,
please.
’

Tahlia got the number just as they arrived at the hospital.

‘Babe, let’s get you in first and then I’ll call.’

Tahlia booked her into the maternity suite, helped her change into a large white shirt and then went outside to make the call. ‘Don’t be long,’ Crystal called after her, fearful of being left on her own. The midwife was lovely and calm. ‘You’re dilating really well,’ she told Crystal after examining her.

‘The baby’s not going to come right now, is he?’

The midwife smiled. ‘No, I think it will be a while yet.’

‘Good,’ Crystal replied and adding when she saw how surprised the midwife looked, ‘it’s complicated, but I want the dad to get here in time.’

‘I’m sure he will,’ the midwife replied soothingly.

Just then Tahlia walked back into the room.

‘Well?’ Crystal demanded.

‘I’m really sorry, babe, there was no one there. I left a message.’

‘They must be away!’ Crystal said, her heart sinking. ‘He’s not going to make it here, is he?’ And she couldn’t stop the tears from sliding down her face.

Tahlia held her hand, and said, ‘Okay, you need to tell me the names of all Jake’s friends and then I’m going outside to call them. Someone will know where he is.’

‘But it’s Christmas Eve; everyone will be away,’ Crystal said miserably. ‘And you should be with Leticia.’

‘I’m not leaving you, babe. I’ll make these calls and I’ll be right back.’

Tahlia was gone for the next half hour, leaving Crystal feeling increasingly frightened as the contractions grew more powerful. She paced round the room, trying to find positions in which to cope with the pain, willing Jake to come, and willing the baby to wait. Finally, Tahlia returned but she still hadn’t managed to track Jake down.

‘I’m really sorry, babe. I’ve tried everyone you mentioned but none of them know where he is.’

‘Oh no!’ Crystal sobbed, feeling totally defeated.

‘Come on, you’ve got to forget about Jake and concentrate on the baby now,’ Tahlia said, seeing that her friend needed to pull herself together and save her energy for labour. Crystal was about to protest that she couldn’t forget Jake when the contractions went up a gear painwise and she couldn’t speak. Her survival instinct kicked in and it was just about getting through the pain. Tahlia was brilliant with her, encouraging when she needed to be, stern when she felt Crystal wasn’t breathing properly. Crystal had foolishly said in her birth plan that she didn’t want any drugs – she had been inspired by Tahlia who had given birth using just gas and air – but after four hours of sheer agony she had forgotten all about her birth plan and was screaming for an
epidural. She lost all track of time; the pain just seemed to be going on and on. In between contractions she obsessed about Jake, wondering if he had got her message, worrying that it might freak him out and that she might never see him again.

And then suddenly she remembered that there was someone else they should call. ‘Simon, his friend, I totally forgot about him,’ she gasped. ‘Call Simon, he might know.’

Tahlia really didn’t want to leave Crystal but she insisted. She returned with some good and some not so good news. Simon told her that Jake was staying in a cottage on the Sussex Downs. There was no phone and no mobile signal so there was no way of getting hold of Jake, but when Tahlia explained the urgency of the situation he offered to drive there and pick Jake up and bring him to the hospital – it would be a three-hour round trip. Even if Simon found Jake it really looked like they wouldn’t get back to London in time.

Tahlia squeezed her hand. ‘I’m sorry, babe.’

Crystal felt too emotional to reply. The anaesthetist had just given her the epidural which, thank God, had temporarily stopped the pain of the contractions. She closed her eyes, full of regret that Jake was going to miss out on the birth of his child. It was all her fault; she should have told him months ago. She closed her eyes and must have drifted off into an exhausted sleep.

She didn’t know how long she slept but suddenly she became aware of someone standing by the bed. She opened her eyes and, for a second, thought she must be dreaming, because there was Jake.

‘Hey, how are you?’ he asked, the same handsome Jake with those blue eyes that melted her heart.

‘Is it really you?’ Crystal asked, overcome with emotion at seeing him again.

By way of an answer he leant down and kissed her and took her hand in his, whispering, ‘It’s really me. Is that really you?’

‘I should have told you,’ Crystal replied, gazing into his eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Jake.’

‘No, I’m the one who’s sorry; I didn’t give you the chance to tell me.’

‘Do you mind about the baby?’ she asked apprehensively.

‘Mind?’ he exclaimed. ‘I think it’s the most wonderful thing ever! I was a fool to push you away; I can’t believe you’ve had to go through all this on your own. I love you, Crystal.’ She looked into his beautiful blue eyes and they were full of tears.

Finally he had said the words that she had feared he never would. ‘I love you too,’ she whispered back. But by now the epidural was wearing off and the pain was starting up again. She winced and tried to carry on speaking but Jake said, ‘Don’t talk now.’

When the contraction finished, Crystal whispered, ‘Please don’t leave me.’

Jake shook his head, and said seriously, ‘I’m yours, Crystal, you have me for keeps.’

‘Okay, Crystal, I need you to push now,’ the midwife ordered her. ‘Come on, Crystal, push!’

‘I am fucking pushing!’ Crystal screeched back, past caring that she sounded like a fishwife.

‘You can do it, Crystal!’ Jake told her. Crystal gripped his hand as hard as she could, she just wanted to get her baby out! The midwife was praising her.

‘You’re doing really well, Crystal. I can see the baby’s head, it’s just going to take two more pushes. Just two more,
come on
!

Using what felt like the last of her strength Crystal pushed with all her might, experiencing an excruciating, burning pain that was almost as bad as what had gone before, but then she knew she’d done it.

‘Is the baby all right?’ she managed to ask as the midwife quickly checked the newborn over.

‘Absolutely perfect. Congratulations, you have a baby boy! Happy Christmas!’

Wanting to hold her son more than anything, Crystal
struggled to lift her head from the pillow to watch as the midwife helped Jake cut the cord. She couldn’t believe how tiny her baby was. He gave a cry that pierced her heart; it was her baby, calling for her. The midwife carried him to Crystal, laying him gently on her chest and covering him with a blanket, so Crystal could feel her son’s warm, new born skin against hers. She put her arm up to support him and make him feel safe and looked in wonder at his face. He was still covered in the white gunk that had protected him in the womb and his eyes were tightly shut against the bright lights but she could see he was perfect. She reached down and touched his tiny hand, feeling a rush of intense and overwhelming love.

‘Look at him,’ Jake said in awe, lightly touching his son’s head. ‘He’s so beautiful. Then he looked at Crystal and this time the tears were falling down his face. ‘You’re amazing. I love you
so much
, Crystal.’

Christmas Day, 6.30 a.m. – a year later

‘Has Joel settled?’ Crystal asked sleepily, moving closer to Jake as he slipped into bed beside her.

‘Yeah, he’s fast asleep. Happy Christmas, gorgeous,’ Jake said, putting his arms around her.

‘Happy Christmas,’ Crystal replied. ‘So how long do you reckon we’ve got?’

‘At least an hour,’ Jake replied.

‘Well then, what are we waiting for?’

‘Do you want to open your present now?’ Jake asked afterwards.

‘I thought I’d just had it,’ she replied, smiling.

‘That was just your stocking filler. Here’s your real present; close your eyes and hold out your hand ’

Crystal did as she was told.

‘You can open your eyes now.’

She looked at what she was holding – a black leather ring box, a box that she was dying to open!
It won’t be what you think
it is
, Crystal told herself sternly, willing herself not to be disappointed. Since they’d got back together Jake no longer held back from telling her he loved her. He revealed that he always had, but was so scared of everything going wrong again that he hadn’t dared admit it. But during that year he hadn’t mentioned marriage, even though Crystal was secretly longing for him to ask. Hardly daring to breathe she opened the box and then let out a gasp of joy, seeing the beautiful antique diamond engagement ring that she knew had been his grandmother’s.

‘So will you?’ Jake asked.

‘I will,’ Crystal whispered back, gazing at him as he slipped the ring on to her finger.

They kissed, then, as they lay in each other’s arms, Crystal traced her finger across the tattoo on Jake’s shoulder.

‘I promise I’m not just asking so I don’t have to get the tattoo removed,’ Jake told her smiling. ‘Seriously, Crystal, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.’

‘And I with you,’ she answered, gazing into his blue eyes and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.