Curse of Shadows and Light (37 page)

“
Yes, you know I am. Why are you even asking me that?” Maybe she’s the one who’s confused?

Tatiana takes a deep breath. “Are you the demon child we call Lucky?”

“
Of course I am. What a silly question. Who else would—?”

My eyes open wide and I gasp again, covering my mouth with my hand.

She is me. And I am her.

I struggle to catch my breath, as chills race up and down my body. Suddenly, a barrage of memories flood through my brain, like thousands of movies all playing at the same time.

“
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” I cry out.

Tatiana quickly puts her frail arms around me. “You’re okay. Just stay strong. Let it happen.”

Tears flood down my face, and I struggle to breathe as everything falls into place like an enormous explosion in reverse. Liora’s life— all of her feelings… hopes… fears…, merging with Lucky’s powers… her knowledge… her strengths…

I place my hand over my belly. “My babies!”

Tatiana’s face softens into a smile. “Strongest I’ve ever felt. Just like their mother.”

I put my arms around her now, sobbing openly. Everything suddenly feels so surreal… so different.

Yet, at the same time,
exactly the same.

“
How… h-how did this happen? I thought… I thought I was gone… I was going to let myself die!”

“
You each sacrificed yourself so that your other half could live. And in doing so, you were able to survive. The only thing keeping you apart all this time was
you
. Once you forgave yourself, all of yourself, and accepted who and what you are, for better or worse… when you stopped hating yourself and began loving yourself instead, your soul was finally able to heal.”

“
Wait, you
knew
what I had to do this whole time?”

“
It made no difference what I knew. It only mattered what
you
knew. What
you
could see. What path you took and what decisions you made. This was a journey for you and you alone. It was not something anyone could tell you. You needed to realize it for yourself. There was no other way.”

I close my eyes and breathe deeply, letting her words sink in. “I’m good,” I whisper several moments later. “I care about people and their feelings. I want to do the right thing. I want to love and be loved.”

“
Yes,” she murmurs.

I open my eyes and look at her. “But I wield a dark and terrible power that takes great responsibility. I am born of an ancient force bigger than any man or creature. And I must be here in this world because I have a duty to protect the balance of life.”

Tatiana nods, her milky eyes glistening.

I turn my face to the window and smile.

“
I think I need to go outside for a while. I really need to feel the sun on my skin.”

********

I’ve been wandering around the woods outside the cabin for about an hour, just taking it all in, and I haven’t stopped smiling for one second. I hear the crunching of leaves and turn to see Corrine headed toward me. I smile even wider and race over to give her a big hug.

“
Whoa… hey, now. Don’t forget you have that freaky supernatural strength, girl!” she says, laughing and coughing at the same time.

I pull away and give her a sheepish look. “Sorry.”

She grins, and then glances down at her feet. “I really hope it’s okay that I came out here. I know everyone is sorta giving you your space right now, but I just needed to check in on you and see how you’re doing. Make sure you’re all right.”

“
Thank you… I’m glad you came. I’m doing okay. Adjusting.” I chuckle under my breath. “Come on, let me show you this cool place over by the pond. I just can’t get over how gorgeous it is out here this time of day! I mean, I know I’ve seen this all before, but at the same time, it’s almost like I’m seeing everything for the first time! It’s so freaking surreal, like really vivid déjà vu or something. Everything is just so…
beautiful
.”

“
Well, I’m happy to hear that. But I’ll just have to take your word for it, ‘cause I’m blind as a bat without my glasses. Stupid Belith broke ‘em. Now I need to get me some new ones.” She grimaces.

I smack my hand to my forehead. “I thought there was something different about you!
Ugh
, I’m so sorry! I’m all wrapped up in my own world here. How are
you
?” I give her arm a gentle squeeze, and suddenly I’m understanding the horrors she witnessed.

She shrugs. “Well, other than not being able to see for squat, I’m great. Maybe I’ll just—”

“
Wait, stop. Don’t move.” I place my hand over her face, letting the heat from my palm radiate over her eyes. A moment later I pull away. She gasps.

She blinks several times and looks around, astonishment all over her face. “Oh my God,” she whispers. “I can’t… I can’t believe it. How did you…?”

“
I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I never healed you before. I really should have –
oompf
!”

This time it’s Corrine throwing her arms around me in an exuberant, bone-crushing hug, and I laugh again.

We continue on our way to the pond, and I try to take in and absorb the wondrous beauty all around me. The leaves are so much greener, the sky is bluer… even the air is fresher. But as we continue along the winding path back to the cabin, my heart begins to feel heavy. I don’t want to spoil her happy mood, especially after all we’ve been through lately. But pretending that nothing happened isn’t fair to her either. She deserves better than that.

“
Corrine, I need to apologize to you,” I begin as we head around a bend. “I want to tell you how sorry I am for everything that’s happened. Everything you’ve been through.”

She stops walking and reaches for my arm, holding me back. “Wait— What?
I’m
not! I mean, at the time, sure it was no picnic. But we survived! We won! I mean, come on… how badass are
we
?”

I frown and shake my head. “You went thought
a lot
of shit on my account. You have more horrible memories in your head than any human should ever have to endure. But I can make those memories disappear for you… make you forget the kidnappings, the demons trying to rape you, the Belith torturing you—”

She holds up her hand. “Are you crazy? No way! I
earned
those memories. Don’t you see? All those awful things happened, and I survived! I got through it, and I’m okay.
Better
than. Puts a lot of things in perspective if you ask me. Please don’t take those memories away. They’re mine. Even the horrible ones. They haven’t broken me… they’ve only made me stronger!”

I smile at her, amazed that this is the same girl I used to hide out with at lunchtime ‘cause no one else wanted to talk to us. Because we were weird. Because we were freaks.

Or maybe it was because we were just a little more
badass
than everyone else…

“
You just can’t fully appreciate the awesomeness of life until you’ve been tortured by a mob of angry, blood-thirsty demons,” she continues with a grin. “Please tell me how anything will ever seem like a problem after that!”

I can’t help but laugh. “Good point.”

She suddenly becomes serious and peeks over at me. “How are you? Really. Everything that’s happening with you… the changes… how are you really?”

Just then the crunch of more twigs and leaves beneath heavy footsteps has us both glancing over our shoulders. Vincent is coming around the bend behind us.

I give Corrine a quick wink and whisper, “
Really
… I’ve never been better.”

She nods, her eyes wide. “I know, right? That guy is the hotness. And he cares about you so much. He really does. He’s been so concerned this whole time. You definitely have my seal of approval.”

“
Hey. Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” He almost sounds a little shy.

“
Hey, Vincent. No, we were just stretching our legs a bit,” Corrine says. “I think I’m going to go see what Demetri is up to. He was saying something about pizza earlier.” She gives Vincent a quick pat on the arm as she passes him.

I give her a small wave, and Vincent nods.

Suddenly my insides are a wild flurry of nerves, but I quell them immediately. I don’t recall having that kind of control over my emotions before, but I’m still caught off-guard by how much I like being in Vincent’s presence. It just feels so damn right.

“
You clean up nice.” I run my hand lightly over his cashmere sweater. It accentuates his muscular build nicely, but without being too obvious.

He grins. “When I’m not neck deep in bloody demon carcass, I’m quite the dapper guy.”

I laugh. “Yes, you are! Actually, you looked pretty good then too, but in an entirely different way…”

His gaze locks on mine, and we fall into a hushed silence. I feel myself growing warm as I remember the last time I was with him… kissing him, holding him. And him kissing me back with such tenderness, such longing. I had thought it was going to be the last thing I ever did. I never expected to actually see him again.

Not that I’m complaining.

But all this is so much to take in. Everything is changing – and fast. My whole world has exploded and is being rebuilt from the charred remains. Like a phoenix from the flames.

Maybe it’s time for a fresh start. A new beginning.

Vincent moves closer and reaches for my hand. “Hi,” he says, his voice low and intimate. His warmth travels from his hand right into my chest.

“
Hi, yourself,” I whisper.

“
It’s nice to see you again. It’s been far, far too long.”

“
Tattie says I was only sleeping for five days. You really missed me, huh?” I nudge him playfully.

He clears his throat and looks at me. “Believe me, it’s been much longer than that. And yes, I did.”

I look up at him, not sure I understand, and he graces me with a rare smile. He gently places his hand on my abdomen. “How are the little ones doing?”

I feel an excited flutter in my belly and I laugh. “They’re great. I think they like you.”

He nods, his brown eyes sparkling. “Good… That’s good. I’m happy to see you’re okay. You’ve been through so much. How are you dealing with everything?”

I hear the sincerity in his voice. This isn’t just idle chit-chat. He genuinely cares. But the nearness of his body and the memory of our passionate kiss is almost more than I can stand. Still holding his hand, I lead him over to a fallen log next to a brook, and we sit down.

“
It’s kind of strange…” I begin. “I’m not gonna lie. I mean, it was the hardest, most insane thing I’ve ever had to do. I truly thought I was going to disappear and be no more. But instead of dying, I became stronger than ever.”

Vincent nods. “I’m not gonna lie either… you had me really worried there for a bit!” He chuckles softly, and my skin hums and tingles some more. “I wasn’t sure
what
was going to happen. I’ve seen a lot in my day…
a lot
… but I’ve never met anyone who even remotely compares to you.”

I look away. “I’m kind of a drama case, huh?”