Cyborg (19 page)

Put that way, the situation was far more frightening than she’d realized.

Uneasiness drifted over her, causing the fine hairs on her body to lift as if sensing danger.

“But you have--finesse?”

His lips curled at one corner. “Artificial, but, yes. I’d be more than happy to demonstrate, if you like.”

Amaryllis reddened as the suggestion sank in, but she felt far more comfortable with this line of discussion. “Strictly in the interests of education, I suppose?”

His eyes gleamed with amusement. “Absolutely.”

She shook her head and turned along the road, deciding it might be best to have company on her walk after all. He fell into step beside her. “Pardon my persistence, but is that a yes, or a no?”

She chuckled. “You weren’t serious?”

“That depends.”

She glanced up at him. “On what?”

“Whether that was a yes or a no,” he replied promptly.

She laughed outright at that. “I never knew you were such a tease.”

He smiled faintly. “You’re certain I’m teasing?”

Instead of responding, she glanced up at him speculatively. “What happened to Violet?”His lips flattened with annoyance. “I’ve no interest in Violet.”

Amaryllis lifted her brows skeptically.

“Currently, she’s being courted by no less than three cyborgs and appears to be very satisfied with herself.”

Amaryllis declined to comment on that.

“And, no, it isn’t sour grapes. I prefer my women a little less … abrasive.”

Amaryllis’ lips twitched. “Your women?”

He gave her an irritated glance, but finally sighed gustily, running a hand through his dark hair. “We’ve all lost everything and everyone we’ve ever known,” he said tiredly. “It doesn’t make it any easier to bear knowing that most of it was manufactured and never real to begin with.”

A sense of both shame and empathy smote Amaryllis at the same time. She’d been so self-absorbed she hadn’t taken the time to consider that she wasn’t the only one suffering. “Everyone must be having trouble adjusting,” she said thoughtfully.

He shrugged and finally smiled wryly. “Some more than others, I imagine. As it happens, I’d begun to suspect long before the cyborgs took it upon themselves to enlighten us. It wasn’t as much of a shock, or as hard to accept as it might have been.”

She tilted her head at him questioningly. “What made you suspect?”

“Their creativity--or perhaps I should say their lack of imagination. I handled new

‘recruits’, remember. I saw all the backgrounds on everyone.” He glanced down at her thoughtfully for several moments and Amaryllis felt a prickle of uneasiness. She looked away, and discovered to her surprise that they’d almost reached the landing field.

“Almost without exception, everyone had had a tragic life that left them alone in the world. At first, I didn’t think that much about it. The policy was that the company had no interest in anyone with ‘baggage’, ostensibly because of the dangers in the work and the travel. Single men and women with no family wouldn’t have their minds elsewhere when they were supposed to be concentrating on their job. Then you came along.”A coldness washed over Amaryllis. She should have known that Cain would have figured it out if Reese had.

“I’d thought I would take the path just here,” Amaryllis said, changing directions abruptly and leaving the road.

It occurred to her forcefully that the three males who’d shown the most interest in her just happened to be three who knew, or at least had guessed, that she was not a cyborg. She couldn’t help but wonder if they would’ve been drawn to her anyway, or if their interest had been spurred by that knowledge.

It was a dampening thought.

She’d wondered how it was that she’d suddenly become so desirable. She should have known it had to be something like that.

“How far along are you?”

Amaryllis stopped as abruptly as if she’d hit a tree. “What?”

“My wife was pregnant when she died,” he said pensively. “Of course, she wasn’t my wife. I wonder if the memory was entirely computer generated or if she actually exists somewhere?”

It took an effort to continue walking. Amaryllis discovered her knees suddenly felt rubbery. Was it that noticeable? She wondered.
She
had noticed, but it was her body after all. Her waist had thickened until there was only a faint curve between midriff and hip. Her belly had begun to take on a roundness that hadn’t been there before, but she hadn’t thought the changes were that noticeable--so far.

“Does he know?”

Amaryllis reddened, but she didn’t look at him. She kept her attention focused on her feet, watching the uneven ground for anything that might trip her up as she stalked rapidly along the path. “Who?”

“The father,” he said tartly.

She glared at him. “Maybe, when I figure out who it is, I’ll tell him,” she snapped.He caught her arm, dragging her to a stop. She balled her hand into a fist, resisting the urge to clock him with an effort.

“Go ahead if you think it’ll make you feel any better.”

There was sympathy in his eyes. It was almost her undoing. She looked away, blinking against the sting in her eyes, but she put up only the barest resistance when he pulled her into his embrace. Wrapping one arm around her, he stroked her head and back soothingly. It felt so good, just to be held and comforted that Amaryllis had to struggle even harder to keep from bursting into tears. “Tell me what’s wrong, baby. Would you like for me to kill those nasty old cyborgs for you? Because I’d be delighted to if it’ll make you feel better.”

“Don’t joke, not now,” Amaryllis said in a voice muffled against his chest.

“Who’s joking?”

She pulled away and looked up at him. One glimpse of the glitter in his eyes was enough to assure her he definitely wasn’t just saying it to distract her. “No!” she said, horrified and struggling abruptly to push him away.

His arms tightened. “Shhh. I didn’t say it to distress you.”

She relaxed fractionally, allowing him to draw her close once more.

He was silent for several moments, stroking her as he had before. “Would it distress you if I only beat them
nearly
to death?” he asked pensively.

The question almost startled a chuckle out of her. “Yes,” she said sternly.

He sighed. “I was afraid of that.” After a while, he pulled away from her and caught her chin, tipping it up so that he could look at her face. “If you aren’t harboring ill will toward the cyborg twins, then why have you sent them packing?”

Amaryllis’ heart clenched.
Had
she run them off? Forever? She berated herself the moment the thoughts popped into her mind. She’d meant to, after all. It was a good thing if she had, and for the best, for everyone. It was patently obvious that neither of them would settle for what she felt comfortable giving--they wanted total commitment.

It would have been nice taking either or both as lovers. They stirred her senses to heights she’d never before even imagined she could scale and the affection they seemed to feel for her would have been a great comfort in the trials she faced.

God only knew why they were so determined to make her their mate. They should have been appalled at her genetics. If he’d studied her background as he claimed, Reese certainly knew, and Dante ought to. He’d done the med scan on her, after all. Surely, if they were acting on basic instincts alone as Cain said, they could
sense
she wasn’t a good choice for mating and, if they couldn’t, then they certainly had the grasp of logic needed to calculate such a risk.

She had no intention of discussing the reasons behind her behavior with Cain, however. Let him think whatever he liked. It probably wouldn’t be nearly as bad as the truth. His question made her curious, though. Reese had said that Cain was staying in the barracks, and he’d certainly known which rooms were hers.

“Is that why you didn’t come before? You were waiting to see if I meant to accept Dante or Reese?”

He smiled wryly. “Actually, I grew weary of waiting for you to come to me.

Since it didn’t appear that you were going to, I decided I’d have to make the first move.”

Amaryllis’ jaw went slack with surprise. Chuckling, he lowered his head and kissed her solidly on the mouth. As brief as the kiss was, it penetrated her surprise and stirred warmth to life.

She lifted her lids with an effort when he withdrew, giving him a reproachful look. “More?”

She gave him a look and pulled away.

“I’m devastated.”

“You sound devastated.”

He chuckled. “I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t answer a single question.”

“You are so observant.”

“Ouch. Then maybe you’ll tell me why we’re wandering around in the woods?”

Amaryllis had spotted a small stream just a little ahead of them and wondered, if she followed it, if it would eventually lead her to the natives. They were bound to live near a source of water, weren’t they? She threw him a look. “I’m … just exploring.”

“Ah. I noticed you explored the landing field yesterday.”

Amaryllis had been on the point of moving closer to the stream for a better look.

She stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him. “You saw me?”

He shrugged. “Contrary to what you seem to think, you’re in no condition to fight your way out of an attack. I just thought I’d keep an eye on you. Dante beat me to it so I left you in his capable hands.”

Amaryllis frowned. “I thought it was the cyborgs you were worried about.”

“Not the cyborg twins--not that way. They’re both besotted with you and wouldn’t harm you. Are we looking for anything in particular? Because if you’re thinking they might have concealed the ship here, I can’t agree. The vegetation is far too thick.” The blush that had mounted her cheeks at his comment about Reese and Dante deepened. “I’m not looking for a ship,” she said crossly, plunking her hands on her hips and looking around the area.

“What then?”

She sighed irritably. “Signs of civilization.”

“It’s in the other direction.”

“You’re so funny! I meant
other
civilization. Natives.”

“The cyborgs cleared them out.”

Amaryllis looked at him in surprise. “There are other intelligent beings here?”

“Now why are you so surprised when you just said you were looking for them?”

Amaryllis gritted her teeth. “Christ and all the saints! You are the most irritating man! Will you be serious?”

His eyes glittered with speculation. “As you please. Why are you looking for them?” he asked coolly.

Amaryllis looked away. “Just curious,” she lied.

“They are barbarians, dangerous savages. And, since I’m not allowed to wear a weapon as of yet, I’m thankful to say quite a distance from Gallen.”

Disappointment flooded her, but she wasn’t ready to give up yet. “You called the cyborgs barbarians, too, and they’re civilized.”

“Why are you looking for them, Amanda?”

Amaryllis glanced at him sharply. “I’m not Amanda anymore,” she said tightly.

“Because the company gave you the designation Amaryllis, so you would fit in with all the rest of their ‘flowers’? But you were born Amanda Maria Rios, weren’t you?” “Christ and all the saints! Does
everyone
know? Because if I’ve been quaking in my boots all this time when it’s common frigging knowledge, I wish to hell someone had told me!”

His eyes widened. “The cyborg twins know?”

“I
wish
you’d quit calling them that! Yes! They know. Reese got into my file.

He knew before we even started this mission. Dante discovered it after the crash. He was the medic that treated me.”

Cain’s eyes narrowed. “That’s how Dante induced you to hide in his quarters?”

“He did it to protect me!”

“Did he? It looks to me as if he took advantage. I may have to kill him after all.”

Amaryllis gaped at him in stunned surprise. Her teasing, often annoying, companion had vanished and in his place was the killing machine Cain had been designed to be. A shiver of dread scratched its way down her spine. “Don’t! Please! I’ll never forgive you!”

His eyes narrowed. “You’re so certain I need your forgiveness?”

“He didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to,” she said a little desperately. “I was scared to death. I needed … comforting.”

His gaze moved pointedly to her belly. “It looks like he did a little more than comfort you,” he retorted dryly.

When she said nothing more, merely looked at him reproachfully, he drew in an exasperated breath and expelled it slowly, raking his fingers through his hair as he struggled to regain control of his temper. “I don’t understand you, Mandy. Are all females as completely contradictory as you? Or only the purely human variety? What are we doing out here? Why are you looking for the native inhabitants of this world?”

A knot formed in her throat, making it difficult to swallow. Relief was part of it, that she seemed to have averted a battle between Dante and Cain. Part of it was despair at seeing her last hope vanishing like a puff of smoke, but most of it was weariness from the fear and frustration that had been riding her for months now and was getting progressively worse instead of better. Her chin wobbled. “I’m scared. I just don’t know what to do.”

He caught her upper arms, giving her a slight shake, as if he could jog it from her.

“Tell me, baby! It isn’t just that you’re afraid they’ll find out about you, is it? I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

The words trembled on her lips, but she found she couldn’t utter them. He wouldn’t understand and he couldn’t help her even if he did. He didn’t have access to the med center, or knowledge of how to use any of the equipment. He would probably be more horrified and disgusted than helpful if he knew she wanted to abort the pregnancy to protect the child from having a life of pure hell. Even knowing what she did from her own experiences, she was as horrified at the necessity of what she had to do as she was determined to spare it from as much pain as possible. “I just … want to go home,” she said lamely.