Cyrus (17 page)

Carly laughed, “Absolutely.”

They both looked at me as if they were
waiting for me to speak, “I don’t know what to say because I don’t
remember.”

“What you say my dear Tara is nothing. You
don’t look back, just forward,” Joe held my hand and smiled.

“I wish I had answers,” I felt like I was
going to cry.

“You decide to move forward but only when
you’re ready. Just let me remind you that we’re here. It’s fate,
just like Jonathon and I, and Carly and Jase meeting….”

“No, Cyrus is my friend we aren’t like that.
He doesn’t do…”

“Cyrus is on his own personal journey. I
have to tell you he is his father through and through. Strong, so
strong for everyone around him. He just has things to get through.”
She looked at Carly, “I’m sorry my dear, Jase is those things as
well but he also has my spirit.”

“I wouldn’t want him any other way,” Carly
laughed.

“Now Zandor, oh my Zandor he has been my
Achilles heel,” Joe laughed, “He’s a momma’s boy. He just fights it
so hard. He was the hardest to handle as a child. Hardest to
soothe, hardest to potty train, hardest to pull off my leg when I
dropped him off at Kindergarten the first day of school, and
definitely hardest to figure out.”

Carly laughed, “Please give us some Zandor
dirt.”

Joe laughed and looked at me, “Can I trust
you with these family secrets Tara?” I shook my head yes. “Good,
okay. One day when I had all four boys cleaned and corralled
getting them ready for church when Jonathon was at sea, I was
franticly trying to find my only white bra, all the others would
have shown through and back then that wasn’t good, especially at
church. Well, all three boys were looking at Zandor and he was
looking down. I was confused at first until this little grin formed
on his mouth and then he looked up at me, ‘Momma, if I tell you
where it is promise not to be angry at me?’ I agreed and he stood
and took my hand ‘I am not to blame Momma, women are beautiful,
soft delicate creatures’ he walked me into his room and pulled a
box out from under his bed. In it was my bra, a pair of panties
that I still to this day don’t know who they belong to, and
magazines. Lots of magazines.” Carly laughed and so did I. “I was
mortified and he could tell, ‘momma’ he said ‘my love of women is
undoubtedly because you are the most amazing beautiful woman in the
world.’ I remember yelling at him that it was sick and disgusting,
he interrupted, he was anxious, ‘Momma, I prefer Blondes. I
fantasize that this bra is theirs when I…, look at the magazine,
busty blondes, the bustier the better. Momma I love big full
beautiful...’ I couldn’t take anymore and then the other three boys
burst out laughing. I grabbed my bra and walked quickly the hell
out of that room.” We all laughed, “I probably would have laughed
but it would have encouraged them further. I was out numbered and
damn it I had to be the Mom and Dad at that time because my big
beautiful twisted Steel man was protecting not only our country but
many others.”

Carly laughed, “I remember when I first met
him.”

“I remember when you first saw Cyrus,” Joe
giggled.

“I hit him in the back of the head,” Carly
laughed.

“And he threw you in the ocean.”

“He did?” I couldn’t see Cyrus doing
that.

“Oh yes he did,” Joe laughed.

“Another time I was pissed at Jase and
trying to walk away from him, Cyrus threw me over his shoulder and
threw me in the SUV and told me I better not get out or something…
I don’t really remember and I smacked him again. He growled and
looked at me, ‘Do it again—harder.”

I laughed and so did Joe, “I can see
that.”

Joe grabbed my hand, “He’s a good man who
has been through a lot. But he is so strong, brave, and full of
love.”

I smiled and nodded in agreement.

There was a knock at the door and I jumped.
Joe patted my knee, “I’ll get it.”

I sat nervously and then I heard Joe
laughing.

Carly smiled, “Zandor is home, and she
didn’t know.”

“The bra boy?” I whispered.

“The what?” I looked up at a very attractive
man and immediately knew who it was, “Zandor.”

“That’s right you must be Tara,” he walked
up and took my hand and pulled me up quickly kissing my hand.

I quickly looked around the room until Cyrus
walked in. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. Zandor smiled and
let go of my hand, “I feel like I already know you, you beautiful,
exotic Bird.”

Cyrus looked at me, his eyes were softer, he
looked tired. He had on light loose fitting jeans, a black belt and
a black t-shirt, I felt my checks flush and my body felt calm and
warm immediately.

Carly cleared her throat, “So Zandor it’s
nice to see you,” he picked her up and kissed her on the lips and
twirled her around.

“Back off Z,” Jase warned.

“What, I’m extremely happy to see my new
sister. Carly, welcome to the family and Jase, she’s my sister, she
doesn’t even have tits or a vagina anymore. Which is a shame…”

“Zandor,” Joe warned.

“Momma Joe did you miss me? Mmm wine,”
Zandor picked up Joe’s glass and drank it.

“By the looks of two of you, you’ve had
plenty tonight,” Joe laughed and everyone sat.

Cyrus looked at me still standing against
the wall, “Hi Tara.”

Just him saying my name made me smile which
made him smile, “Hi Cyrus.”

“Come sit down next to me, Tara,” I looked
at Zandor and he winked.

“I need to um…a drink,” I walked into the
kitchen quickly and looked through the cupboards trying to find a
glass.

“You don’t know where your stuff is yet?”
Cyrus leaned over me and opened the cupboard and I instinctively
leaned back against him. I looked up over my shoulder and his soft
eyes glazed, “You okay?”

He felt my cheek and I held his hand against
my face, “I am now.”

He didn’t move his hand and his eyes closed,
“I’m a little fucked up Birdie.”

“I can tell,” I turned and hugged him, God
he felt so good, so comfortable.

“We’re friends right?” his hot breath hit my
neck and his breaths became labored.

“Yes,” I pulled back, “Sorry you’re
just—comfortable.”

The corner of his mouth curled up, “You too,
Birdie.”

I turned and reached for a glass and
couldn’t get it. I felt his hands grip my waist and he let out a
deep throaty sound as his fingers slipped up the hem of my shirt.
His finger ran back and forth over my side and I giggled and
squirmed a bit.

He chuckled, “You’re ticklish.” And then my
feet left the ground, “Grab two, Birdie.”

As soon as I turned I smiled at him, “How
was your day?”

“It was a long day but very fruitful,” he
took the glasses and opened the fridge, “What’s your flavor?”

You.

You’re my flavor
. I wanted to answer,
“Water is fine.”

“How about some milk Birdie?”

“No, too much…”

“Did you eat today?” He turned and looked at
me with a frown.

“Cyrus, your mother is here.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, my bad.”

“You hungry?” he looked up at me and I
wasn’t sure what the look was he was giving me and then he tried
not to smirk.

My eyes widened and he laughed, “Yeah, what
do you got?”

He walked up to me, he was incredibly close
and I could feel my nipples tingle, I looked down to make sure they
weren’t visible and he groaned and then cleared his throat.

“You still sore?”

I wanted to say yes, I wanted him to touch
me, “No, I just don’t understand…”

“They like me,” he smirked and handed me a
glass.

He opened the fridge, and grabbed some
rolls, “I’m gonna warm these up, you’re going to eat one with
me.”

There was no question, just a directive and
I wasn’t going to fight. I was sitting and watching him. He turned
on the oven, “There’s a microwave.”

He smiled, “Not the same trust me.”

He bent down and opened the cupboard and I
leaned over to watch him. Naked he was fun to look at. Clothed,
just as fun.

I looked away when Jase and Zandor walked in
the room both smirking. I closed my eyes tightly shut and they
chuckled.

“We want some, too,” Zandor chuckled.

“You better be talking about garlic knots
fucktard,” Cyrus stood and turned around.

“Cyrus, your mouth,” I looked up to see Joe
and Carly walking in.

Jase’s phone chimed and he grabbed it and I
watched as his face dropped. Carly was at his side within seconds.
He showed her the text and she rubbed his back, “Momma, we need to
leave now.”

“What-- no sleepover? I was…” Joe began.

“It’s Charlotte, and it’s not good.”

Carly looked at me, “Sorry, another
time.”

I nodded and looked to Cyrus who was staring
at me, he looked towards Jase, “Do you need me?”

“No, I’m sure Little Bell is asleep, but
that means…fuck!”

“Jase, we need to go, this has happened
before it may be nothing,” Carly came over and hugged me.

Joe hugged Zandor and then came over and
squatted in front of me, “I will be back when I can. Get my number
from Cyrus, call me with anything Tara, I was serious when I said
when we let someone in it’s hard for us to let go, impossible
actually.”

She hugged Cyrus and whispered into his ear
and then they were gone.

Zandor looked at Cyrus, “She finally
checking out?”

“Jesus Zandor!” Cyrus looked at him
shocked.

“Well honestly-- she’s fucking old and she’s
been dying for a couple years now and...”

I don’t know what came over me but I started
laughing. Both Cyrus and Zandor looked at me and Zandor smiled and
Cyrus was shocked.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to...sorry,” I covered
my mouth and Zandor laughed. Again, I have no idea what came over
me but I grabbed his hand and laughed with him.

I heard a slam and looked over at Cyrus
slamming the cookie tray on the stove. Zandor and I both stopped
laughing and he rolled his eyes.

I stood and walked over to Cyrus and rubbed
his back and he stiffened up, “I’m sorry I don’t know what
happened. I really am sorry.”

“Nah don’t be. But Little Bell, fuck!” Cyrus
left the room.

Zandor got up and patted my head, “He’s not
that good at shit like this.”

“I’m normally not either,” I said taking the
knots off the cookie sheet so they didn’t burn.

“I would never admit it to anyone else Tara
but me either, but people die, you can’t bring them back and you
just gotta suck it up and move on,” Zandor flung his arm over my
shoulder and picked up a garlic knot, “Bite?” I nodded and took it
from him, “That’s a very good girl.”

I heard a door slam and jumped. Zandor took
off out the door.

I watched out the window and Cyrus was at
the Jeep. He was pacing and Zandor looked like he was laughing at
him and it also looked like Cyrus was getting very angry.

I saw him talking on the phone and hanging
up. His hands ran through his hair and then he kicked the tire
hard. Zandor laughed at him again and Cyrus pushed him hard and
then looked at the window, I was sure he saw me.

Loaded

“Call a cab-- I can stay here tonight,”
Zandor was pissing me off, intentionally.

“She’s off limits to you,” he laughed at me
again and I pushed him, “I’m not fucking kidding, Z.”

“You fucked her already, she’s off the
table. We already established that years ago. Stop being a little
bitch and get inside,” Zandor pushed me back.

I laughed and so did he, “This is so fucked
up. I’m fucking loaded and now I gotta go in there and eat fucking
bread with her? What the hell was I thinking?”

“I already gave her something to eat, isn’t
that why you threw your little tantrum?”

“Fuck you,” I was tired, worn out and really
all I could think about was taking a hot shower and curling up into
bed and sleeping for the next eight hours, with her.

I walked in the house and was met by two
terrified green eyes. She looked at Zandor the same way, “Can I
…I’m going to bed—if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, we kind of need to crash here too,
you good with that?”

She looked afraid and relieved at the same
time as she nodded. “I put the food in the microwave and cleaned up
the dishes, “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

She scampered upstairs and I heard the door
shut.

I grabbed both of our bags and headed
upstairs and showed Zandor the spare room, “And where will you
be?”

I shook my head from side to side, “I have
no idea-- see you in the morning.”

I walked into the master bedroom and she was
curled up in a ball setting on the bed, “Mind if I shower in
here?”

She shook her head no and looked at me, “Are
you angry at me?”

“No Birdie, I’m drunk and exhausted and I
…if I were a better man I wouldn’t be in here right now, but I’m
not. I’m gonna take a quick shower and then I’m gonna come out here
and dress. Then I’m gonna lay down and hold you and tell you about
today. Then I’m gonna keep holding you until you fall asleep.”

I didn’t wait for an answer or comment, I
was fucked up and right now I didn’t give a shit about anything
except holding her, and yeah that was wrong but as I said before
I’m not a good man.

When I walked out she was still sitting in
the same spot, “You okay?”

“Yes,” she took a deep breath and looked up
at me, “Are you mad at me? Did I do something to upset you?”

Awe damn Birdie
, “No.” I looked at
her – hungry, I was so fucking hungry for her, “I want to be in
this bed again with you. I wanna kiss you, a lot. Hold your body
against mine, smell you, I want you so fucking bad, too much
Birdie, but I won’t take you again. Not now, and not while I’m
fucked up. Are you okay with that?”