Daisy's Secret (43 page)

At seven on the dot, Felix rang. ‘Laura, how are things?’ The coldness of his tone always chilled her, even though they rarely had anything to say to each other these days and more often than not it was Chrissy he chatted to.

‘Felix, um, you can’t speak to Chrissy right now, she’s in the shower,’ Laura lied, crossing her fingers. ‘She shouldn’t be more than ten minutes, although if she decides to wash her hair that may be rather an optimistic estimate. Perhaps you’d like to try later?’ The brightness in her tone sounded false even to her own ears.

‘It’s not Chrissy I wanted to speak to, it’s you.’

‘Oh? Well, I’m not sure I want to speak to you,’ she tried to make a joke of it but her voice cracked with nerves.

‘You sound rather odd.’

‘Do I?’

‘Is something wrong?’

‘Of course not. What could be wrong?’
 

Felix made a harumph sound in his throat. ‘Exhaustion, I’d say. Impending bankruptcy because of your stubbornness. Robert says you’re vastly overworked. Are you ready yet to call it a day?’

‘Not at all, I’m loving it.’ Felix had always been far too cosy with her father. Dealing with each of their idiosyncrasies was bad enough. When they ganged up together it became well nigh impossible. ‘Whatever it is you have to say to me, Felix, can you make it snappy, I have meals to prepare for my guests this evening. Oh, and if you were thinking of consulting another Building Society about a mortgage on this property, let me tell you that you’d be wasting your time. I’m wise to that trick now.’

‘That was a mistake,’ he mumbled. ‘Miranda’s idea.’

‘Really?’ Laura said, in a tone of disbelief. ‘I heard you were rather cosy.’

‘That was a temporary arrangement only. She’s moved back into her own flat now.’

Laura began to giggle. ‘Not quite working out then, after all?’

‘Look, what I’ve rung about is that I’ve been speaking to the estate agent again and he’s found someone else who may be interested in Lane End. As you said yourself, people prepared to live so far out in the sticks are thin on the ground, so don’t screw this one up, Laura. We need the money. I’ll tell him to send them along, shall I?’

‘Absolutely not! Felix, what do I have to do to convince you that this is
my
house and I’m
staying
. I live in it. I’ve done the place up. I’m earning a living here. Of sorts,’ she added more cautiously. ‘What’s more, I’ve spoken to my lawyers and you should by now have received the divorce papers.’

It was as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘They’re from Surrey and will arrive first thing on Saturday morning. If we get a good price I can pay off the bank loan and the mortgage, then we could buy a little place in France, take more time out from the business to smell the roses. We could have a fresh start, a second honeymoon.’

‘But you don’t even like gardening,’ she quipped, making a point of not taking him seriously.

‘It’s a metaphor, Laura. I need to get my head above water to make life easier all round. Stop being so bloody difficult. You can’t escape reality by hiding away in the Lake District. If you don’t co-operate over the house, then
you
can deal with the debts.’

‘What debts? Now who’s being melodramatic? Stop exaggerating. I’ve got to go Felix. I have guests to see to. But if there really is a problem we should talk about it seriously, through our solicitors if necessary, but not now. OK?’

‘Is Chrissy not out of that shower yet? I’ll hang on and have a word. Might as well.’

‘Oh, there’s someone at the door. Sorry, try again later,’ and she hurriedly put down the phone before he could say anything more.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Daisy abandoned the idea of a friendly chat over a pot of tea and suggested a walk instead, assuming Percy felt up to it. The question needed to be asked, as the robust young man she remembered had quite gone. In his place was a tortured soul whose eyes reflected untold pain, who walked with an awkward stiffness for all he did his best to disguise a slight limp. Even the once glorious red-brown hair seemed dull, prematurely streaked by strands of grey. He’d said little since he’d arrived, revealing none of the cheerful warmth Daisy remembered so fondly, and his cheeky bounce and arrogant confidence had quite disappeared. It was as if his body was still alive and functioning, but his spirit was dead.

Nonetheless he declared himself agreeable to a short trek and they set out to walk on Blencathra, the wind in their faces. The September day was undoubtedly cold but the mountain itself, baron and treeless, somehow seemed unusually forbidding this morning. The dramatic majesty of the giant’s naked shoulder reared up before them, filling Daisy with an unusual sense of awe, as if it were turning its back on her and sulking, refusing to smile upon her. It was not a place that offered comfort and Daisy had to speak firmly to herself to shake off a brooding sense of unease.

She felt at a loss to know how to begin. They’d gone through the usual pleasantries and all that was left now was the purpose of his visit. Daisy took a breath and launched into her prepared explanation. Percy, unfortunately, chose exactly the same moment to launch into his.

‘Sorry, you first.’

‘Nay, Daisy, I like listening to you.’

‘I always did talk too much, remember?’ And they both laughed. Sadly, it in no way relaxed the tension.

When he said nothing more, Daisy cast him a sidelong glance. He was frowning as if trying to work out what to say, or why he was even here. She tried to think of a way to bring a smile to soften his sternness, since one of them must make an attempt to lighten the atmosphere and get to the heart of the matter.

‘Heavens, what a sombre mood everyone’s in this morning. The mountain, you, even little Robbie had a fit of the sulks and wasn’t interested in his usual porridge.’ And having finally spoken his name, nothing would stop her now. The words just poured out, her sorrow over the bomb having killed so many of Percy’s family on that terrible day during the blitz, her gratitude for the way Robbie had been cared for, and how thrilled she was to have him back. Percy heard her out in silence. When he said nothing, she blundered on.

‘I bear you absolutely no ill will over the way things turned out between us. These matters have a way of coming out right in the end, don’t they? I mean, we were far too young to be sensible. Mind you, we had some fun, eh?’ She smiled fondly at him, wanting him to smile back and share the happy memories with her. He simply glowered. Daisy pressed on. ‘Now that I’ve met Harry I can see how very naive and foolish we were, and it’s probably just as well we didn’t do anything rash, like get married or something.’

Percy cleared his throat, the sound seeming to come from deep inside him and took a long time in the execution of it. Finally, he asked in a soft, mildly enquiring voice, ‘Who’s Harry?’

‘He’s my boy friend, well fiancé I suppose, since we’re engaged. Unofficially you understand, until I come of age.’ Daisy could feel herself blushing.
 

‘Everything’s worked out nice as ninepence for you then, Daisy. I’m glad. Some of us haven’t been so lucky.’
 

Despite his kind words, there was bitterness in his tone and Daisy felt mortified by her own insensitivity. What was she thinking of, to go on about her own good fortune in this selfish way? Hadn't Percy been on board a destroyer when it was sunk with most of the hands lost and he himself injured to the extent that his navy career was at an end? ‘I heard about your experience. It must have been terrible to see so many of your comrades die, and to think you might die yourself. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must have felt. Your nerves must be all in pieces.’

He didn’t respond, making Daisy feel that she’d strayed onto forbidden territory and shouldn’t have mentioned the tragedy at all. His next words only confirmed that feeling.
 

Without pausing in his somewhat shambling stride, he said, ‘Rita told me she was fetching you the baby. I thought that was good, because you’re his mam. But remember that I’m his dad.’

‘Of course I remember, only - well - I rather thought you were the one who didn’t want to get tied up in all of that responsibility. Not that I blame you for feeling that way. Like I say, we were both far too young.’

‘I’m still his dad though.’

Daisy felt puzzled by this childish persistence, wondering why he felt the necessity to repeat it, and then a thought occurred to her. ‘Oh, you mean even when Harry and I marry? Well, yes of course, that’s true. You would still be his dad. But I don’t honestly see that as a problem, do you? I mean, it’s up to us to make the rules, don’t you think? If you want to see little Robbie at any time, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t. We can tell him the true facts, once he’s old enough to understand. Not that I’ve explained any of this to Harry yet, but I will, and I’m sure it’ll be all right. I’m quite certain he loves me enough to understand.’ She didn’t add - and forgive, though the words echoed in her head, unspoken.

A pair of steady blue eyes considered her in open disbelief. ‘Doesn’t he know yet about the baby?’

Now the flush on her cheeks deepened to crimson. ‘It never seemed quite the right moment, but I will tell him, I will. In fact, I’ve written to ask him to come over. I mean to get it all off my chest. Oh, Percy, it hasn’t been easy. I missed my lovely baby so much, and I missed you too at first. Then there was Mam, bullying me as usual. I felt so miserable, all alone in the world. And after I was evacuated I made myself responsible for Megan and Trish, to compensate in a way for losing … anyway, we’ve had no end of trouble in our billets. This is the first time since this whole sorry saga started that we’ve felt any sort of security. And I owe all of that to Clem. Him and me get on really well. He’s a great chap, like a father to me. A better father than me own, in point of fact, and I know I shouldn’t say that when he’s dead and gone, but its true.’ She was talking too much but didn’t seem able to stop.

Percy slowly nodded. ‘Aye, he seems champion. A good sort of bloke.’

‘Oh, he is. He’s made me so welcome, let me have Megan and Trish come and stay, encouraged me to take in a few lodgers to keep meself out of mischief and earn a bit towards the housekeeping and, oh, just been a friend when I needed one.’

‘He says I can stay on, an’ all.’

Daisy was somewhat taken about. ‘Oh, - I rather assumed you’d be going straight back home tonight. But of course you can stay over, if you wish. We’ve still a room vacant tonight, if you can call it that. It’s was once a priest hole, would you believe? And little bigger than a cupboard but you’re welcome to it.’

‘Not just for t’night.’

‘Pardon?’

‘Clem says I can stop on as long as I like. There’s no place else for me to go. I’ve not so much as a cupboard to call me own, now the house and me family is gone.’

Daisy stopped walking to stare at him, dumbfounded. Not for a moment had she considered this as a possibility. Yet why hadn’t she? He was right. He had no one, no home, nothing. He was bombed out. Dispossessed. ‘Oh, but . . . you wouldn’t want to stay too long, would you? Not as one of our paying guests. You’d be bored out of your mind, just like Florrie. You’ll be wanting to find yourself a job, a new home, a girl. Life goes on, as they say,’ she finished on a falsely bright note.

He too stopped walking, to turn and face her. The wind was whipping Daisy’s already unruly curls into a frantic halo all about her head, but she paid it not the slightest notice. Her attention was entirely focused upon Percy’s face, taking in, for the first time, the tragic, almost self-pitying droop to his shoulders, the sulky downturn to his mouth, like Trish when she was in one of her moods. And an odd sort of blankness about the eyes. He wasn’t simply injured but also deeply depressed, as if he was carrying the whole world upon his shoulders. He looked confused, which she didn’t wonder at after being shelled. There were many such coming out of this war, so battle-scarred they would never be the same again. She could feel herself grow quite still, a premonition of what he might be about to say creeping down her spine like ice water.

‘Why don’t you tell me exactly what it is you want, Percy? What you came for.’

‘I don’t know which way to turn, Daisy. I know what you mean when you say you felt lost and lonely. That’s how I feel now. No home, me sister and her kiddies all dead. Did Rita tell you? I don’t know what I would’ve done without your mam.’ He looked bewildered and her heart went out to him.

‘Yes Percy. She did tell me. I’m so sorry.’

‘Mam’s vanished off the face of the earth. Folk insist she was spared the blast but I can’t find her nowhere. I reckon she’s wandered off some place and got lost. Mebbe doesn’t know who she is any more. I’ve no home, nowhere to go, Daisy. Except here with you. And since we were sweethearts, fond of each other like, and now we have a child I’ve come to you. It seems to be the answer, eh?’

She hardly dared ask the question. ‘What is?’

‘We can get wed now, can’t we? Like we were going to once before. Then the baby’ll have a mam and dad. Won’t that be grand? Isn’t that the right thing to do?’

‘You can’t be serious?’

‘Why can’t I?’ The mouth set in a stubborn line. ‘What else am I supposed to do? I’ve lost me job in the navy, the proper use of me legs and with a hole in me back that won’t heal. We can start again, Daisy. A second chance for us both, eh? You and me together, with our little Robbie.’