Damage Control (Valiant Knox) (6 page)

Yang sent him the ghost of a smile. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I’m not blowing smoke, Yang, I’m telling it like it is.”

Yang reached out and clasped his shoulder for a moment. “When the lieutenant shows up, I’ll be sure to send him your way so you can tell him that.”

“Go ahead. Have him talk to every single person on board this ship. The only thing he’s going to find is dedicated support for you.”

“If it were a matter of the crew’s opinion, it’d be much simpler. But I get the feeling it’s going to be more about how my PTSD has manifested and whether or not it’s impacting my ability to command.”

Leigh crossed his arms, feeling cold at the idea of Yang under such scrutiny. There probably wasn’t a solider on this ship who didn’t have some small symptom of PTSD; even he struggled with nightmares occasionally. They’d all seen action, and this war had been dragging on for too many years. It made him wonder if this review wasn’t about something other than Yang’s ability to command.

“If there’s anything I can do—” The words rang hollow, because they both knew he had no part in this situation.

Yang smiled briefly anyway. “I’ll let you know. Thanks, Alpha.”

The commander turned and strode away, his bearing tall, straight, and still radiating authority, despite the slight limp from an injury sustained while he’d been a POW.

Leigh sighed and stepped onto the transit. If he’d wanted a distraction from thoughts of Recruit Wolfe, he’d definitely found one. Whatever the UEF were thinking in this review of Yang’s position, he got the feeling it didn’t bode well for the rest of the
Valiant Knox’s
crew.

Chapter Six

O
h four hundred.
More like oh God, kill me now
.

Mia stifled the third yawn in as many minutes as she dragged her sleep-deprived body out of her bunk and crept out of the dorm. At the UEF academy, she’d often gotten up around oh six hundred to exercise before classes at eight. Or get some extra study time in. She’d never had to get up and be at a class
by
oh six hundred before.
So not a morning person
. It always took her at least two hours to wake up properly, so if she wanted to be functioning on all levels by the time her first class started, oh four hundred was her new alarm time.

She grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the transit-porter, planning to hit the lap pools in the gym. There were only two of the small hydro pools on FP level, and she’d heard getting into one could be hard at peak times, because swimming was a good way to keep up muscle mass and lung capacity, especially for people who spent so much time in space. Hopefully because it was early there wouldn’t be anyone else in the pools, and she could swim out her self-recriminations in peace. She’d already spent half the night agonizing over the fact that she’d imagined kissing her CO.

Shock had washed through her on the heels of a deep-seated need to feel his mouth closing over hers. Would he be reserved and keep his passions frustratingly locked-down, or would he burn so hot underneath that reserved facade that he’d singe her and leave her nothing but smoke and ashes?

Dear God, just how dumb could she be?

There was no scenario in which anything good could come of this attraction that had ambushed her. But, there were many,
many
ways in which it could destroy both their lives.

Captain Alphin had a pristine reputation, no hint of scandal in his personal life whatsoever. Stuff like that never stayed secret very long, especially on a ship like the
Valiant Knox
, where everyone knew everyone and privacy wasn’t exactly an easy thing to come by. That right there was the number-one reason why she absolutely
could not
let anything happen between them. Someone would inevitably find out—which brought her right back around to all the ways in which this reckless little infatuation could destroy her life.

At some point in the small hours of the morning, she’d reasoned that her tired mind had been seeing things that just weren’t there. Maybe Captain Alphin hadn’t even realized the intimate manner in which he’d touched her shoulder. Maybe his low curse had been more about the fact that she’d slipped up and used his given name. Possibly when she saw him today, he was going to ride her harder than any other student simply because they’d become a little too familiar with each other.

The door to the transit-porter swooshed open in front of her. As if her thoughts alone had summoned him, Leigh stood toward the back of the transit, dressed down in a light gray pair of sweats and a faded navy T-shirt that stretched a little too nicely over his muscled chest, while his short hair was sticking out all over the place in a sexy, just-got-out-of-bed kind of way. Her next breath got caught in her lungs as her chest tightened, her heart feeling like it was being squeezed.

He looked up and straightened when he saw her, a flash of what could have been alarm crossing his features. Yeah, she was feeling pretty panicked herself. Maybe she’d just wait for the next transit to come by. She stepped back, but as the doors started sliding shut again, Leigh came forward and slapped a hand against the edge so the transit stayed open.

“We need to talk. Again.” His expression had settled into determined lines, though he glanced up and down the deserted passageway before nodding in a way that indicated she should join him.

She swallowed down the unsettling mix of apprehension and anticipation being around him created. With a short breath, she stepped past him into the transit and then neither of them said anything as the doors slid shut.

“Where are you headed?” Leigh asked without looking directly at her.

“Gym. The lap pools, actually.” She glanced at the display listing destinations to see that the gym had already been selected. Was that where he was going as well?

For a long second they both stood there, not looking at each other, while a growing awareness of them shut in here alone, and the hours she’d spent thinking about him, grew within her.

Finally, Leigh scrubbed a hand over his hair, then turned to look directly at her. As soon as his blue eyes met hers, it was like a flash of lighting streaking from the tips of her hair all the way to her toes. No other man had ever been able to do that to her with a single look. Was this some weird forbidden-authority-figure thing, or was it simply Leigh that made her feel that way?

“I feel like I should say sorry about last night, except honestly, we both know nothing untoward happened between us. However, I’m sure you’re aware that for a moment there, things got a little hazy in terms of appropriate interactions. I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable, and you can rest assured, it will never happen again.”

Wow
. She’d heard Leigh was an honorable, straightforward, if somewhat hard soldier, but the fact that he was standing here, not trying to make excuses for what had happened surprised and impressed her. And she
really
didn’t need to be any more impressed than she already was.

“I’m not sorry either.” Yep, she had just said that, even though she probably shouldn’t have. But Leigh being so straight with her made it easy to face facts, and if he was going to give her the bald truth, then she would return the favor in kind. “I was just as responsible. I could have stepped away, I could have not slipped with your name. The next few weeks in the training program are going to be hard, and I need to give my all to that, not be distracted by—”

Leigh’s expression suddenly lost some of its tension and a grin transformed his features into somewhere around the level of mind-melting. Her damned heart skipped a beat, but she leveled a glare on him. “What’s so funny?”

He shook his head, shifting a little nearer. “I’m not laughing. At you anyway. I am finding it funny that my manly pride wants to know if I’m being dressed down, when I’d planned on doing all the lecturing.”

Oh, so now he had a sense of humor? She hardened her fluttering emotions against him and deepened her frown. “Since technically nothing happened, no one is lecturing anyone. We’re just mutually agreeing to stay away from each other. Or, failing that, we’ll strive to maintain a platonic, if not distant relationship.”

“Mia, you are clearly too practical for your own good.”

“There is no such thing as being too practical. And after this, we’re not going to talk about it again, either.”

The doors to the transit opened, and Leigh shot her a smile that bordered on intimate, making her heart skip.

“Good-bye, Recruit Wolfe.”

He backed out of the transit, then headed toward the gym. She walked out at a more sedate pace, feeling far better now that they’d reached an agreement about how things should stand. Next time she saw him, he would just be Captain Alphin and she would be doing everything in her power to pretend like he was simply a commanding officer she didn’t know one single thing about.

T
he messdeck echoed with dull chatter as Mia looked over the breakfast offerings and decided she couldn’t eat anything other than the meager fare she’d already picked up: black coffee and a few pathetic slices of cold toast. Despite spending an hour in the lap pool, her lack of sleep was still making her feel unsettled, without much appetite. However, after she found a table and sat down, she forced herself to eat, because with training starting today, she’d need what little energy the toast provided.

And most of that energy would be expended mentally, trying to put Captain Alphin firmly in the past and forget she knew anything about him. At least she now knew he was on the same page, which should make it that much easier to get on with things.

Someone sat down across from her, and she glanced up to see one of the other female recruits, Kayla Dawson, picking up her fork as the rest of the seats quickly filled around her.

Mia shook her head slightly and forced her mind on the here and now—away from things she’d vowed to move on from—as the recruits around the table started up a conversation about what they might expect in the coming days.

“Captain Alphin needs to get that stick out of his ass.” Steve Robinson sat a few seats down from her, a huge plate of bacon, eggs, sausages, hash browns, and other food piled in front of him. “Who does he think he is? Just coz he’s the Captain of the Fighter Force.”

“He’s your CO dumbass,” Kayla put in. “So unless you want to spend FP training wiping the floor with your face, you better kick the attitude,
Dogmeat
.”

A few of the other recruits laughed at the nickname given to FP trainees who got picked on by the instructors, while Steve glared at Kayla. Mia examined her toast. She needed a bit of Kayla’s spunk. Out of all the recruits, Kayla was one of the few sure to get through the next few weeks and make it look stupidly easy.

Steve grinned and elbowed the guy sitting next to him.

“Looks like Kayla will be the dumb bimbo who gets all hot and bothered over the CAFF this year.” Steve guffawed at his own remark. A few of the guys near him threw in some lewd comments, but Kayla half turned away from him in her seat, sending him an obvious snub as she calmly sipped at her coffee.

Mia rearranged the bread she’d ripped up and slouched in her seat, a guilty blush creeping up her neck. The position of Dumb Bimbo Getting All Hot and Bothered Over the CAFF might have already been filled. God help her if someone like Steve Robinson found out. He would make her life a living hell if he got even a hint that she’d gone mushy for their CO.

She busied herself shoving another bit of her unappetizing breakfast in her mouth while the ribald banter between the guys continued. After chewing the half mouthful and gulping down some coffee, she pushed the plate away and stood.

“Are you heading to class already?” Kayla asked.

“Uh, yeah. Thought I might as well find a decent seat and start reading through the material we’ll be covering today.” She’d always liked getting to class before everyone else, choosing her seat and sitting back to watch the other students and teachers trickle in.

Kayla stood, then sculled the dregs of her coffee.

“Sounds like a great idea. I’ll come with you.” She slammed the mug down, which cut off a lewd story Steve had been telling. The two of them glared at each other and then Kayla moved around the table to walk next to her as they headed out of the messdeck.

“Mia, right? I’m Kayla,” she said, holding out her hand.

Mia shook it as they exited into the corridor. “Yeah, I’ve seen you around campus at Ophelei UEF Academy. I was glad to see a familiar face at the first line up when we got off the
Farr Zero
shuttle yesterday.”

Kayla glanced over her shoulder, then leaned closer to her. “I heard Steve and his buddies came from the Ackerly Academy, you know that all-boys school only the rich and potential elite soldiers make it into? That’s why he’s such a jerk. The soldiers who come out of that place are always jerks, think they’re God’s gift to mankind just coz their families are cashed-up and got them into some special school.”

Mia grimaced. Well, that explained a lot. Everyone knew the reputation of Ackerly. Most people called the graduates Ackerly Assholes. Not to their faces, of course, that’d just be asking to get punched. Or court-martialed, since a good portion of the UEF’s senior officers were Ackerly alumni.

“Remind me to stay off Steve’s radar,” she muttered more to herself, but Kayla nodded an agreement.

“He’s a typical jerk. Pulling your strings to get a reaction. If you just ignore them, they get bored and move onto someone else.”

God, she hoped she could calmly ignore Steve if the guy decided on her for his next target.

They reached the designated ready room where they’d be spending a good chunk of time learning the theory behind the fighter jets before they got any ideas about flight-time.

Mia went through the hatchway ahead of Kayla, but stopped short just inside the door. Kayla brushed by her shoulder and continued past, walking over to drop into a seat in the second row from the front.

Toward the back of the room, Captain Alphin stood chatting to one of the other instructors. He glanced over at her, but in the space of a breath had returned to his conversation, all but looking right through her.

She blew out a long sigh of relief and continued over to sit next to Kayla. What had she expected? Long, lingering looks? A flinch? Some kind of manly blush? Stupid, but she had been thinking that somehow, when she saw him again today, there would be some kind of silent admission of the agreement between them.

Except this was much better. Treating her as if she didn’t exist was exactly what she needed to put them both back into their respective places, where they didn’t socialize, didn’t know each other outside of the platonic teacher-student roles, and certainly didn’t ever,
ever
get up close and personal.

She picked up the datapad that had been left on the desk she’d chosen and tapped the screen to life, forcing her distracted thoughts to focus on the day’s reading. The room filled up, recruits chatting excitedly as they took their seats. Would they be so enthusiastic in another twenty-four hours once they realized the odds stacked against them and the hard work they’d have to slog through in order to come out on the other side?

The following weeks would be a test of mental and physical endurance, putting their minds and bodies through a number of rigorous challenges. Every year, successful recruits numbered about a quarter of those who started out, if even that. Truthfully, she didn’t like her chances of making it to the end. She knew her own strengths and weakness. But she was determined to push herself as far as she could before becoming a washout.

Captain Alphin and the other instructor, Sub-Lieutenant Sebastian Rayne, walked to the front of the class. Rayne stuck his fingers in his mouth and let out an ear-splitting whistle, cutting off the noise with eardrum-bursting efficiency.