Damage (Havoc #2) (14 page)

chapter nineteen

There was still no text from Stefan by the following morning.  I lingered at the counter of the highway diner we’d stopped at for breakfast.  I had made an excuse to be there – breaking a hundred for no reason at all – because I couldn’t bear the tension at the tables.  We sat at three separate booths, in the general vicinity of each other only because we were all waiting for Mikey Guinness’s cell phone to ring.  Thus far, the only texts he received were from his girlfriend.  Jesse tossed the phone across the table every time it was her.

“Better get back to those fine-looking men of yours.”  The lady counting my bills nodded behind me, where Nate’s volume was gradually rising as he went back and forth about something with Jesse.  Jesse and his unflappable smirk.

“I’d rather not,” I muttered, turning back when the argument ended with Jesse ambling off and Abram tossing his headphones to Nate, keeping him busy like a tantrum-prone child.

“Which one’s yours?”

“The big one.”

“I like that one.”

I laughed.  “Me too.”

I was counting my change when Jesse came out of the bathroom, changing gears midway through his stride.  Rather than return to his table, he came toward me.  “I’ll take a black coffee and one of those to go,” he nodded at a bagel I was sure he didn’t really want.  The lady eyed me before turning to start his order.  I stared straight ahead, hell-bent on ignoring him.

“What, you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Why won’t you look at me then?” Jesse waited for me to answer but I didn’t.  “Look at me, Isla.”  Mischief curled in his voice.  “I promise I won’t come this time.”

I cut my eyes to him and shot daggers.  “Don’t do this to me, Jesse.”

“I do a lot of things to you.  I’m not sure which one you’re referring to right now.”

I shook my head with irritation, unsure of how to even word what I meant, so I changed the subject.  “That was wrong, what you did yesterday.”

“I did exactly what Yappy Dog told me to do.”

“With the girl he’d been talking to all night.”

“Well, she was the only one in that room worth looking at twice.  Besides you, obviously.”  Jesse leaned against the counter, drumming his fingers along a bottle of Heinz.  “Look… I don’t know what we’re fighting about this time but I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I fucked that girl, I’m sorry you saw it and I’m sorry I couldn’t stop looking at you.”  He lowered his voice when the lady turned around with a blatant “
I-hear-this-but-won’t-acknowledge-it
” face.  She plopped a paper bag in front of him and walked away, not even bothering to take his money.  “I swear, Isla, I meant to look away.  I knew I should but I couldn’t.  It was a heat of the moment thing, alright? I don’t think you’ll understand till you have a giant load you have to blow and a dick that’s losing interest, which I assume will be never, so let’s just move past this one and chalk it up to things guys do to avoid blue balls.”

“Looking at a girl while he’s inside another?” I asked dryly.

“Basically, yeah.”

I said nothing, lifting a coffee mug and using it to pin a ten to the table.

“You paying for my food? I like that.  I’m gonna go ahead and call this a truce,” Jesse grinned, watching me as I pushed off the bar to return to the table.  I was grateful that he waited a couple minutes before coming back himself.  And the second he did, we all heard it.

Ding!

Abram sat straight up.  Nate ripped off his headphones, all of our ears trained at this point to the sound of Mikey’s cell phone.  My heart beat instantly faster every time we heard the ring.  “Is it him?” Abram asked, growling when Jesse didn’t immediately answer.  “What does it say, Toro?” He got up but Jesse held the phone back, silent as his eyes flitted back and forth across the tiny screen.

“Asshole – what does it say?” Nate swiped at him.  He, too, was ignored.  I tried my luck.

“Jesse,” I murmured, flinching when he immediately looked at me.  I could see Nate shooting an accusing glare in my direction.  “Tell us what it says. Is it him?”

Jesse was humorless, wearing a look of dazed disbelief as he handed me the phone.  I could actually see the reality crashing like a boulder onto his shoulders.  “Yeah,” he swallowed hard and nodded.  “It’s Stefan.”

chapter twenty

my man. Haha I’m in vegas but u gotta come thru. I’ll pay u back for the ticket lmk when u get here

That was it in the text, meaning we weren’t at all sure where in Las Vegas Stefan even was but it didn’t matter, we were already on our way – and this time, on a Gulfstream sent from the helipad atop Abram’s first location of the Monarch Hotel, located directly on The Strip.  It was my first time on a private jet and while it was beautiful, sleek and luxurious, I didn’t have the time to soak it in and enjoy.  Minutes after boarding, the four of us were seated in the cream leather chairs discussing business.  For several grand, Abram had bought Mikey’s silence and indefinite access to his cell phone, but without Mikey himself – Abram and Jesse had joined to veto Nate’s suggestion that we bring him – the plan was taking a different direction.

Stefan Toro was under the impression that he’d been talking to Mikey Guinness for the past few days.  He was expecting to see him.  The second Jesse showed in place, he would be suspicious.  The original plan had Jesse looking as if he were on a simple mission to find his little brother.  Now, it’d look like he was amid some sinister plot to trick Stefan since he had posed via text as his friend.  He wasn’t the brightest, but it wouldn’t take much for Stefan to realize that.

So suddenly, we were down to our last option with which to lure him out.

Me.

“Isla,” Abram murmured the second I went quiet, dropping my hands into my lap so they wouldn’t see me shaking.  He closed his hand over both of mine, comforting me physically but failing to do anything to ease the panic rising into my throat.  “Listen, it’s – ”

“I’m sorry,” I shook my head.  “I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can,” Jesse assured me gently.  “It’ll be fast.  He’ll text us the bar he’s at, we’ll send a text and pretend that Mikey’s running late, and you’ll get in there and use that time to... say whatever it is you have to say to get him to come up to your room.  Which honestly won’t be a lot, Isla.  Stefan has a weakness for women, especially ones that look like you.”

Abram’s jaw tensed for a second.  “I know it’s an intimidating responsibility but nothing else about it is going to be difficult, I promise.  You just need to sit next to him, smile and have a drink.  We’re going to be near you the whole time but it’s not like he’s going to hurt you.  He has no idea who you are.  And by the time you ask him to come to your room, Nate will already be in there to secure him.  Jesse and I will be right there too – we’ll just be coming in after you because we’re going to be a couple steps away from you the entire time.  We’ll be watching closely.”

We
.  I was pretty sure it was my first time hearing Abram refer to Jesse and himself as some sort of team.  But it made sense to let Jesse stay in the field to watch his own brother.  Plain and simple, he knew him.  He had better insight.  Peering at Nate, I wondered if I was imagining the look of irritation on his face, like he’d been excluded.  I told myself I was but then he opened his bitter mouth.

“And who knows – you and Stefan might hit it off so well you end up fucking him too.”

I froze in shock.  Abram was demanding what he’d just said before I could even look up.  My muscles tight, I stared at Nate who stared right back, looking away only when forced to, grabbed at the collar by Abram, who pulled him halfway across the table.  “Do you have a problem?” he asked, his voice controlled, his hand casually wrapped around Nate as if arm-wrestling his neck.  “Whatever you’ve decided to throw a tantrum over right now, it has nothing to do with her.  So shut your mouth and don’t so much as look at her again unless it’s to say sorry.”

With that he let go.  Nate didn’t look at me but I could see the hatred burning like wildfire under the grey of his eyes.  I tried to ignore him, to tell myself he’d get over it without blowing up.  There were more important things for me to think about right now – specifically baiting Stefan Toro into sleeping with me.  Or rather,
thinking
that he was going to sleep with me.  My stomach twisted and turned as I finally thought about what I was even luring him into a room for.  Death with a chance of torture.

Another lurch and I ran to the bathroom.

Keeling over, I threw up, hastily flushing and trying to kick the door closed when I heard Abram coming after me.  But when I looked up, I saw that it was Jesse.  I was sure he was going to try to say something funny to cut through the tension but instead, wearing a deep frown, he came in, kneeling to gather my hair.  “It’s fine, I’m done,” I muttered weakly, feeling too dirty to be touched.  Still, his calloused fingers gathered my loose strands and pulled it all back to knot a quick but tight braid.  I gave him an odd look through the mirror.

“Used to do it for my mom,” he said, looking back at me.  And as Abram came in, Jesse wordlessly stepping aside to let him bend down and easily scoop me into his arms.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he murmured gently. 

~

In my dreams, I saw Elle.  Wearing the pretty blue dress she was buried in, she took my hand and walked me through a long, winding corridor.  “They’ve been so mean,” she shook her head sadly.  I cocked mine as she continued dragging me.

“Have they?”

I studied the back of her blonde head as she nodded.  “Are you ready?” she asked, her voice like wind chimes when we reached a door at the end of the hallway.  For some reason, I said “yes.”  And when she opened the door, I cried out.  Because sitting before me was Stefan, bound with duct tape to his chair, his eyes swollen like two veiny, pink balls.  He tried to speak but his lips collapsed and puckered around his hole of a mouth.  He had no teeth.  They were scattered around his feet and somehow, I knew that he was asking for them so I scrambled to gather them in my palm, figuring he should at least die with his teeth.  My sister died with her teeth.  But I had about ten of them before I stopped, feeling something hot and sticky dripping onto my head.  When I looked up, blood poured onto me but it was no longer from Stefan.  Bound to the chair now was Abram.  He was dead, a neat bullet hole centered between his blue eyes.

I snapped awake with a sharp cry, already sitting up in bed, the sheets twisted in my sweat-soaked palms.  Abram came through the door within seconds.  I took one look at him and burst into tears, prompting him to wrap his strong arms around me and bury his lips in my hair, murmuring, “
I’m sorry
,” between kisses.  I closed my eyes.  This couldn’t be good.  I was already shaken to the core and mentally destroyed from a mission I hadn’t even started yet.  Breathing deep, I did everything I could to gather myself.

“Abram, why do you have to – ” I swallowed the hiccups taking over my speech.  “I… don’t want you to drag it out with him.  Stefan. Just do it and get it over with,” I pleaded, my shoulders dropping as he turned his eyes from me. “Please.  You’re not a monster.”

“How do you know that?”

I stared at him for a second before crawling to follow him to the edge of the bed.  “What do you mean?”

“Look at you,” Abram murmured, peering at me.  “Look at what your life has turned into since you met me.  Look at what happened to Gavin because he knew me.  Even Nate.  He wasn’t always like this – the anger, the drugs.  He was actually trying to be peaceful about Gavin’s death but I fed him the hatred.  He was doing really good about fighting his dark place but I dragged him back.”  Shame crashed in waves behind Abram’s blue eyes.  He shook his head.  “All because I wanted someone else to be as angry as I was.  I wanted someone else to be thirsty for blood.  Gavin saved us both.  He helped me escape the fighting, he took Nate in when his family cut him off.  Paid for every time he went to rehab.  He was never anything but a good person and he had to go in such a gruesome way.  Stefan burned him with cigars, carved up his face.  Clipped off a couple fingers knuckle by knuckle.  And
then
he slaughtered him like a pig.”

The tears never failed to come when Abram spoke about the way Gavin had to die.  “But you’re not Stefan Toro,” I whispered, taking his hand.  “He deserves to die.  I know he does.  He’s a monster.  But you’re not.”

“I could’ve stopped Gavin’s death.”

“You couldn’t have, Abram.  You – ”

“I wouldn’t see him the day Stefan took him.  I refused to.”  Abram looked at my face, wanting to confirm that he should be hated – that he’d done something loathsome.  I refused to give him that reaction so he challenged me by going on.  “He knew something was wrong because he hadn’t heard from me.  I was dealing with the men Dante Toro sent after me and for fuck’s sake, I’d just gotten rid of bodies.  I still had blood on my hands when I answered the phone.”  Abram eyes drifted down to his palms, which he stared into with disgust.  “And Gavin was my brother.  He always sensed when I was in trouble so he called, asked to please see me and all I kept saying was no.  He wouldn’t listen, said whatever was going on, we could fix it together.  We always fixed it together.  But I didn’t want to tell him about what I’d just done.  I could barely stomach it myself.  I was stupid enough to go through their wallets for ID and all I saw were these family photos.  All these school pictures.  I killed guys who had kids expecting them at home that night for dinner.”

My stomach dropped.  I tried not to show it.  “But it was – ”

“Self-defense.  Yeah.  The last guy was running from me and I put a bullet in his back and made his last few minutes really count.  I don’t know if that’s self-defense anymore but that’s not even what I care about most, which I’m sure is sick of me, too.”

“What do you care about most?” I didn’t want to hear it but I knew I had to.  I stroked Abram’s palm, trying to soothe him even though my own insides were churning with horror and heartbreak.  Abram looked in my eyes as if he knew I was forcing myself to listen.  The fact that he spoke anyway made me realize how badly he needed to push this weight off his chest.

“My last words to him.  The last time I’d ever talk to Gavin, ever hear his voice again, and I said ‘fuck off, asshole.’” Abram laughed bitterly to the ceiling, swiping furiously at his eyes before I could see any tears.  “This guy saved my life a thousand times and before he went and got killed for me, I told him to fuck off.  That’s how he got to remember me.  I know it is.  Because he had days to think about the fact that he was going to die.  And he was thinking about me the whole time because I was the reason he was there.”

“I don’t think he was thinking about those words, Abram,” I whispered.

“He was.”

I hugged his arm hard to my chest.  “No, he wasn’t.  That’s not what you think of when you’re about to go.  You think of what you’ll miss the most, not what made you angry.”  A deep frown knotted Abram’s handsome face.  I knew he wanted to challenge me but I also knew he was smarter than that.  He was well aware of how I knew this so he didn’t say a thing.  “When you don’t want to go but you know you’re going to, you think about the good things you had that you wish you didn’t have to lose.  And that’s still terrible.  It’s still sad.  But it’s better than thinking that you were remembered for your worst moment.  You weren’t.  That’s crazy, Abram.  You and Gavin were brothers, you grew up together – you had fifteen years of good memories together.  Why in God’s name would he forget that to remember one, meaningless outburst? He wasn’t an angry person or a masochist, he was Gavin.  He saw you through all your trials and tribulations and there’s no way he could’ve done that without having anything but love in his heart.  Always.  I can’t imagine that he was thinking about anything but that love when he went.”

His brow furrowed, Abram took it all in with a quiet that I couldn’t interpret.  Silently praying, I waited to hear him say something – anything.  All I could hope for was to take away even the smallest bit of his anguish.  I wanted to breathe at least a little life back into his lungs.  He’d done that for me when we first met, when I was in a dark solitude.

However, Abram said nothing as he rose to his feet.  Outside, Nate was audibly getting riled up and with just a glance in my direction but not a single word, Abram left.  I let out the breath I was holding, immediately slouching over the edge of the bed.  I’d been holding back tears before but in Abram’s absence, I quietly let them fall.  I heard some jostling outside but before long, the arguing was over and I was staring at the floor.  In the deafening quiet, I sat there losing grasp of hope – of any chance that we wouldn’t all stay broken, defined by the worst parts of our lives.  But then Abram returned.

He came straight for me, kneeling in front of me and bringing my lips to his.  I gladly melted into his kiss, letting him slide me off the bed and wrap my arms around his neck, electricity pulsing between us.  Straddling him on the floor, I felt his tongue sweep against mine, taking me away but thankfully not far enough for me to miss the words he breathed into my soul, at the exact moment that I needed them.  “I love you, Isla.  I don’t want to do anything again without you standing next to me.”