Damage (Havoc #2) (15 page)

chapter twenty-one

By the time we landed in Vegas, we had an official meeting arranged with Stefan.

Fuck so glad your here man deserts got me dry. bring everything u got. Meet me at M Lounge in the lux towers 9pm. I kno your wifed up but their girls are fine as fuck ha

It wasn’t the easiest thing to read but it was an enormous relief.  The dark lounge had an undeniably sultry mood that would probably make it a bit easier on my nerves and help to get Stefan in the mood.  Plus, of course, we had confirmation that he was in search of getting laid – not that that was ever in question.

We convened in one suite at The Monarch to get ready.  I had to tune out the conversation Abram was having with Nate about which room to use.  How to prepare it for Stefan.  It made my blood run cold, chilling me to think that these horrible things could take place in the same space that innocent people were having fun, celebrating birthdays and bachelorette parties.  I couldn’t listen to it.  I hadn’t gotten Abram to promise anything about being swift with Stefan, and I didn’t want to hear about any of his detailed planning, so I excused myself to the shower.  I needed one anyway.  What little makeup I had on had been cried off on the jet and after returning Abram’s sweet words, he’d shut the door, thrown me onto the bed and proceeded to make me sweat and breathe harder than I had in my entire life. Even he hesitated to leave the room after we came, despite the fact that the jet had just landed.  We’d been as quiet as possible but that aside, we still looked and smelled like the kind of sex that lingered on your skin till you washed it thoroughly off.  “Bright side,” Abram murmured when both Jesse and Nate avoided us for nearly a half hour.

An unconscious smile drifted to my lips as I started the shower.  Since meeting Abram, I hadn’t started one without thinking of him and remembering the second night I’d slept in his penthouse.  He had undressed me because I was too stiff from the accident and I’d let him lather my naked skin with soap.  It was hard to believe that we barely knew each other then.  At this point, it was hard to believe that we ever were strangers. 
Maybe we never were,
I considered as I stepped into the water.  Maybe it was in fact possible to have someone out there whom you knew before ever even meeting.  Maybe Abram was that person for me.

Or maybe you’re just crazy in love.

The second the thought passed through my head, the door swung wide open.  My eyes darted as I jumped.  “
Jesse!”
I hissed, my mind going to damage control before even thinking about being bashful or covering up.  “Get out! Abram’s going to – ”

“Kill me? No, he’s going to kill my brother.  He and Yapper went location scouting,” Jesse said flatly, going behind the partition and taking an audible piss.  I flinched.

“You couldn’t wait?”

“No.  I meant to go on the jet but the bathroom was next to the bedroom and that was a little too close for my comfort.”

I rolled my eyes, glaring though the fogged glass.  “Don’t do this to me right now.”

“Can you tell me exactly what I’m doing this time?”

“Guilting me about having sex with someone I love,” I bit back.  “I’m not sure why but I thought you were better than that.”

“I probably was at some point but two Mile High fucks in three days can wear a man down.”

“Jesse, please don’t get comfortable,” I said as he leaned against the wall opposite the shower.  “This asshole act will you nowhere.”

“Trust me, this isn’t my asshole act.  I’ve had impulses to do much worse but I’m honoring a promise not to fight.”

I sucked in a deep breath through my nostrils.  “I’m going to come out eventually, so you have to leave,” I said as evenly as possible, hoping my tone would get him to budge but it didn’t and I was quickly losing patience.  “Jesse
,
what the hell do you
want?”

“What do think?” His voice came back steely.  “I want you, Isla.  Fuck, I think I might
need
you.”

I breathed out hard.  “No you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.  And the funny thing is that I didn’t feel this way about you after we had sex – you were amazing but I’m not a love at first fuck kind of guy.  In fact, I’m rarely a love kind of guy, period.”  His voice lowered to a snarl as he came for the door.  I shut the water off and snatched my towel just as he swung it open.  My cheeks were on fire as I covered myself hastily and shoved past, fury dripping from my reedy words.

“You have
no
right – ”

“Listen to me.”  Jesse growled, the front of my body smacking to his as he pulled me back.  The towel was at my feet now but it was no longer my concern – I was seething, my lips swelling red as he gripped both my wrists with his one hand.  “Isla, just tell me truthfully that you don’t feel a shred of anything for me.  Swear on Elle that you don’t – ”

“
How dare you
,” I breathed, my eyes blazing hot into his.  “Don’t you ever say her name ever again, Jesse, you have no idea – ”

“Yes, I do,” he jerked me tighter, holding my wrists to his chest.  “I have every idea what that pain is like.  You know that.  You know exactly what I’m going through right now.  You’re the only reason I haven’t fucking lost it yet.  I’m only here because of you.  I would’ve found Stefan and told him to run a long time ago if you hadn’t – ”

“That is
not
fair, Jesse, you are a grown man.  You make your decisions, you – ”

“
I can’t get my mind straight, Isla
.”  His tortured eyes gleamed wet as he pushed me up against the wall.  His harsh tone wavered by the word.  “I’m a grown man because I know what it’s like to love unconditionally and sacrifice
your
entire life
so someone else can keep living theirs.  I thought he was gonna keep trying, to keep working at being a better person and instead he does this.  He spends the life I gave him betraying me and somehow it still rips everything inside me to pieces when I think about the fact that he could be dead
tonight
.  I spent all this time on him so Abram could tie him up in some shitty hotel in Vegas and stick a knife in his throat. What the fuck was all this for?” Jesse asked me, losing it.  “Tell me because I don’t know.  Tell me why I keep wishing I could give him another chance.  I miss him like he’s already gone and it’s driving me fucking insane, Isla.”  Jesse’s every word struggled out of his throat and he let go of me to tear at himself, to claw his skin till I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Jesse!” I burst forward, grabbing his hands and yanking him into me.  “Please, I know it hurts.  I know it does but I don’t know how to help you and I’m so sorry…”

“I just want you,” Jesse exhaled, pressing his forehead to mine and breathing hard.  He teary eyes looked down at my body, as if only just realizing that I wore nothing, my towel a heap at our feet.  “You make it hurt less,” he whispered, a heavy drop falling from his eye to my feet.

“Jesse – ”

“I can see it in you.  You love the way I love.  And I wish so bad I could see you look at me the way you look at him.”  His body was so hard against mine but his voice was desperate, broken.  I couldn’t speak, my heart breaking a thousand ways as Jesse stood before me, stripped and pleading for me, needing me in a way that I knew was real.  I knew his pain inside and out and I knew what it was like to find unexplainable comfort in someone’s mere touch.  But I shook my head, tears springing to my eyes because I couldn’t give that to him.

“Jesse, I care about you,” I finally murmured, touching his face.  “I really do.  I admire you.  I couldn’t do half the things you did for Stefan, I don’t know how you did.”  My breath was ragged when he looked up to see my tear-streaked cheeks.  “And I think you’re a good person.  From what I know, you are.  There are all these things about you that make me smile.  You’re humor.  It can annoy the shit out of me sometimes,” I laughed softly, “but you make things easy.  You keep a cool head, I like that.  And I love the way you love your family.  You brother and your mom.  I like that you used to braid her hair when she was sick.”

“Drunk,” he cracked a weak smile.  “Sad, most of the time.  From missing my dad.”

Fresh tears streamed as I shook my head, cupping his cheeks.  “Jesse, you have to understand that I love Abram.  He’s been there for me.  I’ve been through Hell and back with him and I’m just waiting to feel what it’s like now, to just
have
him.  That’s my wild fantasy.  To have a normal life and go on dates and sleep in on Sundays.”  I sucked on my lip, unsure if I should even say the rest but I did.  “I know we have something, Jesse,” I whispered, watching his green eyes flicker up at me.  “I can’t deny it so I won’t.  I know we have a connection that’s special and if things had happened differently and I met you as you and not Sean, I know I’d like you and I know I’d want you.  But as long as Abram’s alive, I’m never going to want anyone else more than I want him.  That’s just a truth.”

Jesse’s gaze dropped and he nodded, swallowing hard.  He closed his eyes for a second as if to let it sink in.  “He’s the luckiest man on this earth,” he murmured.  “And he knows it, so there’s that.”

I smiled, wiping his cheek with my thumb.  “I don’t think it’s easy what you’re doing.  I think you’re brave to be here and I’m glad that you are.  I’m so sorry we have to do this at all but it could be over as soon as tonight and then we’ll all just do our best to carry on.  And I promise that eventually, we will.”

Jesse closed his eyes again.  I let him rest his head on my shoulder.  “We will,” he echoed.

chapter twenty-two

It was strange getting ready in the suite with an audience of Abram, Jesse and Nate.  Easily my first time doing date preening with the coaching of three straight men, none of whom I’d be going out with that night.

“No.  Down,” Jesse said when I twisted a chignon.  A nod from Abram and my hair stayed down, cascading around the sweetheart neckline of the strapless white dress I had bought.  “He likes tanned girls in white dresses,” Jesse had said before picking me a pair of strappy nude stilettos.  I’d then dutifully gone for a pedicure, with Jesse’s tip to pick something red.  It was bizarre.  We were pulling out all the stops for Stefan, prepping me to look like his exact fantasy woman.  I was essentially his last meal before going to the chair.

“That’s good,” Jesse murmured when I was ready to leave.  I detected emotion flickering behind his eye despite the hollow tone of his voice.  But he looked immediately and respectfully away when Abram came over, touching my waist and gazing at me with an odd mix of lust and worry.

“She’ll be fine,” Nate said bluntly.

“I know she will,” Abram murmured to me.  He brushed the hair from my face.  “But I’m going to be there right away if you need anything.”

“And by that he means we’re not going to intervene unless you’re in immediate danger,” Nate said.  “We’ve gotten this far, we’re not fucking it up, so focus, Isla,” he said, something in his words striking me.  It took me a moment to realize that it was the first time he’d acknowledged me by name since we’d met.  “The second you use your ‘save me’ card, our plan goes to shit, so don’t do it unless you have to.”  I could see him mustering up the strength to say something encouraging to me.  “You can do this.  You’re a black widow tonight.  Alright?”

I made eye contact with him.  “Alright,” I said evenly.  This night was happening and I wasn’t getting out of it.  I was their best shot at Stefan so it was either go all in or run crying and I had no intention of doing the latter.  I wanted this over with, so with a racing heart, I got in a car alone, giving the driver instructions to the Lux Towers before concentrating on breathing deep the entire ride there.

Jesse and Abram had already made themselves scarce by the time I stepped out.  I scanned my surroundings in search of them, hoping to give myself a last bit of comfort before heading into the hotel alone.  But I couldn’t spot anything that indicated they were near, which I reassured myself was a good thing.  If I knew to look for them and still couldn’t find them, then Stefan certainly wouldn’t.

“Yes, miss, just take the elevators over there to the thirtieth floor and once the doors open, you’ll be walking straight ahead to the M Lounge,” the perky front desk girl instructed me.  I smiled back at her through my increasing nerves and stilettoed away, soaking in the neat sounds of my heeled steps in hopes of getting into character.  I’d never been the type but tonight, I had to channel my inner seductress, vixen or whatever kind of person it was who could pick up men at bars and have them in their hotel rooms within the hour.

I was approaching the narrow, arched doorway of the almost secret-looking lounge when my phone buzzed in my clutch.  I froze, quickly looking to see who it was
.  “Sean.”
  God, I really needed to change his name in my phone.  Opening Jesse’s text, I found a picture and a short message. 
Since Google images has a history of failing you
.  My nerves trumped my amusement as I clicked to enlarge the picture.  I swallowed a gasp when I saw what was attached – photo of the interior of the bar and a close-up of Stefan for my reference.  Meaning Abram and Jesse had somehow beaten me to the lounge.  Christ.  It took me a solid few seconds to get over that shock.  When I did, it made room for the butterflies.

Because sitting a straight shot ahead of me, hunched over the end of the bar in a tight black sweater, was Stefan Toro.

My heart raced a mile a minute as I willed my feet to bring me to him.  I hadn’t seen this man since that first night – the night the life I knew ended and a new one began.  Stefan had been the reason I had passed out in the alley and woken naked in Abram’s penthouse.  I had, till recently, assumed he was dead.  And now here he was, sitting at a bar, oblivious to the fact that he was my sitting duck.  Oblivious to the fact that the girl he was about to hit on all night had actually seen his skull four months ago, on the night that he was beaten inches from his death.

“Hi – is this seat taken?”

My feet had done it – brought me to the chair right next to Stefan’s.  On top of that, my lips had come through with a sultry sound that had him turning quickly to face me.  I flexed my abs to fight off the lurch in my stomach when he spun around and stared, raising his eyebrows the second he laid eyes on me.  I let some of my natural reaction come through.  Shaggy-haired and olive skinned, he was like a shorter version of Jesse’s Sean.  The major difference was a wider jaw, shorter nose and eyes so dark they looked black.  I’d have thought he was handsome if I didn’t know who he was but of course, I did.

“Nah.  Not at all, sweetheart, you can take that seat for sure,” Stefan drawled, his words seeping out of his smooth lips in a way either lazy or sleazy.  Or both.  “What’s your name?” he asked before I could even situate myself.

I paused.  “Isla.”  There was no need to lie.

“Isla.  Fuck, now that’s a beautiful name.  What’s that mean?” he asked without waiting for the answer.  “Hey, babe,” he called to the brunette bartender.  “Can you get my friend Isla here a drink? What do you drink?”

God, this might be easier than I thought.  I stretched my lips into a smile for Stefan.  “Redbreast neat if they have it.”

“Irish whiskey drinker? You know what they say about girls who drink whiskey right?” Stefan grinned.  I forced myself to mirror his expression.

“No, what do they say?”

“They’re better in bed.”

Lord
.  My instinct, starting with the fact that he called me “sweetheart” from the jump and the bartender “babe,” was to make eye contact with the closest girl and retch, but I had to pretend to be charmed by Stefan’s poorly paced flirting game.  “Really? Well, I wouldn’t argue that.”

“What, you’ve slept with whiskey-drinking girls before?” Stefan asked, bringing his drink up to do a toast.  I studied it.  Vodka Red Bull.  I smirked and clinked my glass to his.

“I think that’s just for me to know.  Cheers.”

“Cheers.”  Stefan kept his intense gaze on me, unblinking even as he took a long drink.  I shifted in my seat, briefly paranoid that he’d seen something in me – some hint of deceit.  My heart raced and I suddenly tasted metal in my mouth so I sipped my whiskey till it was gone.  Stefan broke out a smile too similar to Jesse’s.  “Fuck, that’s hot.”

“What?”

“You chugging whiskey while I’m here drinking vodka like a bitch.  What’s your name again?”

I laughed.  “Isla.”

“Eye-lah.  Isla.”  Stefan repeated, clearly committing to landing me tonight if he was bothering to really know my name.  “What’re you doing drinking alone in Vegas, Isla? They got to know not to let a pretty girl like you walk around by herself.”

He was really hitting every mark of the stereotypical gross guy at the bar.  “Well… I’m not technically here alone,” I bit my lip, pausing to eye him.  He was already riveted, sitting forward on his seat.

“No? Mad at your boyfriend or something?” he asked, his voice husky.  I could tell from the hopeful way he asked that that kind of situation was a turn-on for him. 
Of course
.

“Mad is an understatement, but we don’t need to talk about it,” I said, letting my eyes flutter into my drink as if I were trying to disguise my heartbreak.

“Aw, man.  Well, whatever he did, he was wrong.  Fuck that guy.”

I giggled.  “Yeah.  Fuck that guy.”

Stefan laughed, eyeing me till I looked back up at him.  Once I did, he turned on his brand of charm, sliding his heavy-lidded gaze over collarbones and down to my cleavage before dropping it abruptly between my thighs.  Subtlety: it wasn’t something in Stefan Toro’s arsenal.  “I mean not literally though,” he said, breaking the thick silence.  Lifting his dark brown eyes to mine, he gave me a lascivious look.  “You should honestly fuck another guy.  That’s the best way to rebound, ain’t it?”

“Sure, but I’m like, two thousand miles from home and I’m not really the type of girl that fucks strangers,” I murmured, giving Stefan eyes that contradicted every word I said.  Under my dress, I flexed my stomach again, fighting the trepidation knotting my muscles into a heavy lump.  Stefan was bringing his chair closer now – close enough to lock my mostly bare legs in between his.  He leaned forward, his forearm resting on the back of my chair.  The scent of his cologne wafted at me suddenly, suffocating me.

“You sure about that?” he asked, his stare suddenly hard on mine.  It made me nervous so I tried giving a flirty little look but his frosty expression remained.  Something in the air had just shifted and again, panic was rising in my throat.  Either he knew this whole time or he had figured it out.  I stared back in silence, my fingers wrapping slowly but tightly around my glass in case I’d have to suddenly use it as a weapon.  I stiffened to stone as leisurely, Stefan leaned in even more, stopping only once his lips grazed my earlobe.  “I know who you are, Isla.  I know exactly why you’re here.”

He dug his nails into my thigh.  Panic flared in my eardrums as I yanked my glass off the bar.  Abruptly, he jerked back.

“Shit!” he hissed as my whiskey spilled all over the both of us.  And suddenly, he broke out laughing.  “Damn, someone’s nervous.  Maybe you really didn’t come here to cheat,” he smirked, bringing my pulse back down with a crash. 
Holy shit
.  I had been a second from destroying the plan out of pure paranoia. 
Isla, breathe
.  Inhaling deep, I tried to gather myself.  It didn’t take long since Stefan had decidedly gotten us right back on track, his stare settled with unblinking heat on my whiskey-splattered cleavage.  I gathered my poise to simper at him.

“Stare harder.  You might get it to evaporate.”

His mouth curled with arousal.  “Oh, you don’t have to tell me to stare harder, sweetheart,” Stefan murmured as I used my cocktail napkin to wipe at my chest, smirking as his eyes zoned in to follow even the slightest little bounce.  “Fuck.  You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

You have no idea
.  I smiled and gave a sassy, one-shouldered nod.

“You know, I’m supposed to be meeting a friend here but I got half a mind to reschedule with him.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I’d much rather spend my time with you.”  Stefan took out his phone – a flip phone only a couple notches nicer than Mikey’s relic.  “Kind of forced his broke ass to come see me so he might be a little pissed if I try to reschedule,” he said, trailing off toward the end of his sentence as he clearly began to reconsider.

“I’m sure he’ll understand,” I blurted, breaking him out of his thoughts.  When Stefan turned to me with an eyebrow perfectly cocked in surprise, I let out a nervous laugh.  “I mean… you know.  He should understand that you’re taking care of a damsel in distress, right?”

He licked his lips so sloppily I almost shuddered.  “Yeah? Now when you say ‘taking care’ of a damsel, I’m sure you mean…?” His eyebrow arched higher.  I told him what he wanted to hear – what I was supposed to tell him anyway.

“Coming to my hotel room.”

Stefan took the time to soak in my words, gazing at me with an increasingly lecherous look.  “See, I was right.  I knew exactly what kind of girl you were.”  His murmur was thick with lust as he began hastily typing up a text for Mikey.  My heart pounded as I looked around, nodding subtly to no one.  Or rather, Abram and Jesse, wherever they were.  “Hey.”  Stefan snapped my attention back to him.  “You got a better phone.  Take a picture with me.  I’m gonna send it to my boy and then he’ll understand why I gotta cancel on him.”

I paused.  “Okay,” I smiled, slipping my phone from my clutch.  Stefan chuckled when I clicked it on.

“Sean your asshole boyfriend?” he asked, eyeing the name that lit my screen.  My heart jumped as I quickly went to my camera.

No.  He’s your brother, Jesse. 
“Yeah, that’s him.  Such a dick.”

“Sorry to even bring him up.  But we’re gonna forget about him starting now, alright?”

“Mm-hm.”  Holding the camera out, I smiled for a selfie with Stefan.  Right as I took the picture, he flashed a peace sign, grabbed my hair and buried his face in my neck.  I gasped at the sensation of slithering witness on my skin.  His tongue licking me.  As my body twitched with revulsion, he helped himself to my phone to send himself the picture, leaning away from me as he then composed his text to Mikey.  I snatched my phone back.  I had a feeling that he was hiding his message from my eyes because he was about to say something utterly vulgar about me.  Something disgusting and disrespectful.  I could only imagine Abram and Jesse’s reactions when they eventually read it from Mikey’s phone.

My heartbeat was pulsing in my throat now.  It was real.  I was five minutes from the Monarch Hotel – five minutes from luring Stefan Toro to the fate I kept telling myself he deserved. 
This man killed someone,
I reminded myself, watching him settle our tab.  I flat-out stared as I allowed myself another small sip of whiskey, building fresh hatred for him.  I forced a smile as he winked at me while signing the receipt. 
This man kidnapped, mutilated and murdered Gavin Theroux.  And he had fun doing it
.