Damaged and the Cobra (15 page)

Waking up next to Aaron, I could nearly convince
myself the night before was only a dream. I climbed out his warm bed and walked
the bathroom where another test waited in an unopened package. Thinking I might
have been wrong, I decided to use the second test. For the next few minutes
waiting, I wasn’t sure what result I was hoping to see.

Positive.

I was going to be a mom. This part scared the
living shit out of me. Yet, Aaron was the baby’s dad and this part I could
celebrate. I might have floundered in college and gotten myself knocked up, but
I had beaten the women in my family in one way. I picked a good man.

Checking in on Aaron, I found him asleep on his
stomach, arms spread out over the bed. I’d kept him up late the night before.
His touch soothed my fear and I think he needed to be close too. Despite
Aaron’s insistence at joy at the news, I could imagine he was scared. His life
was tidy up until a few weeks ago. Now, I’d wrecked up the place.

Aaron loved me and I remembered this whenever I
felt the panic growing. I had the love of a good man. Something the women in my
family never enjoyed.

Restless, I dug my cell out of my backpack and
dialed Raven’s number. I knew she was asleep. Between the time difference and
Raven’s love of late nights, she wouldn’t answer. This fact relieved me.

After her message to leave a message, I waited for
the beep then blurted out everything.

“Hey, it’s me. I just wanted to tell you that I’m
not living with Larry anymore. I moved in with the guy I liked. Aaron. He’s
amazing and we’re in love and I found out I’m pregnant. I was careful, but I
got pregnant and he still wants me. I have someone good and I feel loved and
safe. I haven’t felt that way since you ditched me to run off with Dexter. I
don’t know if you were always looking for a way out or if I did something to
make you want to leave me right then, but you ditched me and I felt lost for a
long time without you. Now, I’m not lost and I’m happy and I wanted you to know
I’m happy. I don’t know if you care, but I wanted you to know.”

Hanging up, I glanced at Pollack who glanced at
Professor as if annoyed.

“Being a sister is tough,” I said, patting her
head. “You love them, but they can break your heart. Or in your case, steal
your ball.”

Pollack heard the word “ball” and raced at
Professor who saw her coming and fled with the prize. Smiling, I turned on the
television and curled up on the comfy couch. A few episodes of
Friends
later, I heard the wood floor creak and a sleepy Aaron appeared.

“Hey, baby. How long have you been up?”

“A couple hours.”

“You should have woken me up.”

“Why?”

Aaron shrugged then I noticed a naughty gaze in his
eyes. “I could have relaxed you.”

“I was already relaxed,” I said, ignoring his
suggestion. Seeing him frown, I let my gaze admire his gorgeous chest. “I
wouldn’t mind a little help in the shower though.”

“Shower sex is tricky,” he muttered, turning on the
coffee. “The height difference makes it even trickier.”

“So? We’ve done it before. Are you getting lazy?”

Aaron smiled from the kitchen. “I just want to be
careful.”

“I’m not fragile. Doing the math in my head, I was
preggers when I fought with Kristen and Larry. I don’t need careful. I needed
soapy sex.”

Aaron studied me then nodded. “I’ll start the
water. My girl has needs and I woke up hard, so this is going to work out
great.”

Before he could leave, I touched his arm. “This
baby thing is a good thing.”

A very good thing.”

“You’re not scared at all?”

“I’m healthy. I have the job I love. My parents are
alive and well. My best friend is happy. Now, my muse is carrying my child.
Everything is right with the world.”

“It’s unexpected, but it can still be good.”

“It’ll be great.”

“I mean, it’s not like I got pregnant by some
random guy. I’m having a baby with the man of my dreams. I already knew I was
done with college after the semester. Also, the baby won’t be here for nine
months. That’s plenty of time to get used to the idea. Look at Maddy. I’ve only
know her a few months and it still feels like she’ been pregnant forever.”

When Aaron kissed me tenderly, I felt how hard he
had woken up. “I know people like to keep these things a secret until a certain
trimester,” he said, playing with a lock of my wild hair, “but I’d really like
to rub it in Cooper’s face as soon as possible.”

“You’re so immature.”

“Trust me, Lark. That bastard has been rubbing his
every good fortune in my face for years. Now, it’s my turn. Let me have this.”

“Let’s go to the doctor and check things first. If
they say everything looks normal, you can brag. After all, you should be proud
of your Thor sperm.”

“Oh, I am,” he said, picking me up and wrapping my
legs around his waist. “So very proud. Even if they already got the job done,
I’m looking to give them a reward in the shower.”

Farah answered the door and I knew immediately her
pants had recently been off. When our eyes met, I sensed she knew I knew. Farah
gave me a casual smile then realized her ponytail was hanging weird off her
head.

“Sex is fun, huh?” Lark said, walking past her
friend. “We’re like rabbits too.”

Farah laughed. “We got home late and needed to let
off some steam.”

“Four times,” Cooper announced, bouncing the
stairs.

Grinning, I was ready to smack that smirk right off
his face. “We have news.”

“Moving in together is such a great first step in a
relationship,” Cooper said, wrapping an arm around Farah’s shoulders. “We
remember those days, don’t we, baby? So long ago.”

“You’re being obnoxious,” Farah murmured to her
husband. “A giant obnoxious stud.”

Lark laughed and winked at me. “Speaking of studs,
Aaron knocked me up our first time while I was on the pill. Bam! That is some super
sperm!”

Farah burst out laughing while I gave Cooper two
middle fingers. He just glared at me like I’d knocked up my new girlfriend just
so I could make him look weak. Yes, everything in the world revolved around
Cooper including my sex life.

“Fuck you,” Cooper growled at me.

“Don’t feel bad. I mean, you had sex four times,” I
said, putting up four fingers. “Wow, you’re bound to have at least one good
swimmer in the bunch.”

When Cooper ran at me, I took off through the
dining room, past the kitchen, and out the backdoor. My buddy was big and
strong, but he was slow. I was in the front yard before he got past his excited
dogs.

Lark opened the door for me then we shut it on
Cooper who started cussing until he realized kids were nearby. Farah was
laughing so hard she sat on the ground to keep from falling.

“Let me in,” Cooper said in a low pissed voice as
he glared through the side window.

“Say it first.”

“Congratulations, jackass. Now, let me in my damn
house.”

“That’s not what I want you to say.”

“Then what? I’m not saying please, so it better not
be that.”

“Not please. I was thinking something like, ‘Gee,
Aaron, can your balls dumb down things for my balls? I’d be ever so grateful to
know how babies are made.’ Yeah, something like that.”

Farah was rolling around on the floor and no help
to Cooper who clearly wasn’t saying what I suggested. Lark finally unlocked the
door and smiled at Cooper who exhaled like a pissed bull.

“You’re welcome,” she said, grinning.

“For what?”

“I talked Aaron out of mocking you as badly as he
wanted. This was the tame version. So you’re welcome.”

Cooper shook his head and finally smiled. “I’m
happy for you guys. In fact, now Farah and I can practice on your kid and get
our fuckups out of the way before ours comes along.”

“Screw that,” I said, patting his shoulder. “That’s
what Tucker’s kid’s for.”

“Hell yeah,” Farah said, finally on her feet again.
“We’ll get all our parenting kinks out with Scarlet. Maddy knows what she’s
doing and can fix what we break.”

Cooper smiled at me while Farah gave Lark a hug.
“Has she seen pics of you as a kid?”

Humor gone, I flipped him off and he laughed.
“That’s what I thought. Just wait until the sun comes out tomorrow.”

“Asshole.”

Cooper laughed all the way to the kitchen where the
steaks waited. Soon, the grill was hot and we were eating. Farah and Lark
talked babies while Cooper and I talked powerful sperm. Eventually, we just
talked about RVing around the country one day with our kids.

Road tripping to the Grand Canyon was on my mind
when Lark and I arrived home. My happy dreams were ruined the moment I noticed
Deputy Dickhead sitting on my porch swing.

“Lame,” Lark whispered, climbing out of the car and
taking my hand.

“What do you want?” I asked him in a hard voice.
“And get off my porch.”

“I’m here on police business.”

“Where’s your uniform?” I asked, eyeing his Branson
tee.

“You know anything about Larry Clark’s Corvette?”

Staring into his dark eyes, I smiled. “I heard the
asshole torched it for the insurance. You mean like that?”

“His stepdaughter moved in with you then his car was
destroyed. Seems like too much of a coincidence.”

“That’s the thing about the law,” Lark said, her
arms wrapped about my waist. “Things can seem one way, but it doesn’t matter
unless you’ve got proof.”

“What makes you think I can’t prove Barnes torched
your dad’s car?”

“Because you showed up wearing your dorky shirt,
instead of a badge and handcuffs.”

Dickhead started to mouth off. I could see in his
eyes he planned to make a snide comment and that wasn’t happening.

“Get the fuck off my property and don’t come back
unless you’ve got a warrant. Since you’ll never get one, let’s be strangers
from now on. Now leave or I’m calling the cops.”

Deputy Dickhead wanted to say something. He opened
his mouth to say it, but Lark walked past him to unlock the door. The fucker
gave me a dirty look, but he left. Despite all his strutting around, the cops
knew who ran Ellsberg and it wasn’t them.

Larry didn’t approve of Denny’s. He claimed it was
a trashy restaurant for drunks and bikers. His dislike suited me just fine
since I didn’t want him visiting. Yet, I always had a soft spot for Denny’s. Growing
up, my mom would bring us to eat there occasionally. We mostly went around the
holidays when she didn’t want to cook, but wanted us to have a nice dinner. Years
later, Denny’s still stirred happy memories of a childhood often filled with
not so pleasant days. Those holidays were the best and I remembered how much Phoenix liked the chicken nuggets. He would giggle when eating them and my little brother
had a wonderful laugh.

My mind was on kids again when I noticed my mother
waiting to be seated. She looked more tired and older than normal. Her hair
wasn’t fixed up and her makeup seemed rushed. Of course, the spring brought
unexpected heat with it and Mom was used to lounging in the air-conditioned
house most days.

“Hi,” I said, grabbing a menu. “Are you meeting
someone here?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

Glancing around, I saw the restaurant was pretty
quiet. After asking another waitress to watch my area, I took my mom to a quiet
spot and hoped she hadn’t come to give me an ultimatum. There was nothing I
wanted from her anyway.

“How are you?” I asked when she stared out the
window.

“Larry is angered by your selfishness. He thinks I
raised you poorly. Maybe he’s right, but I do understand why you’ve run off.
You and Raven are Hancock women and we have a way of leading with our hearts
and never our brains.”

“Aaron is a good man. I won’t listen to you say
otherwise.”

“One of my first loves was an artist,” Mom said, smiling
wistfully. “So full of passion and creativity and I was attracted to it all. I
imagined a long life with him. It lasted eight months and the last four were
awful. Do you know why?”

“I’m not sure I care.”

“You should. You’re me and Aaron’s Taylor. You are
his muse, his inspiration, and eventually his anchor. You’ll drag him down with
your wants and needs. A man like Aaron needs the freedom to feel and create.
Women like us need security. We drain men like them.”

“Aaron loves me.”

“For now and it won’t be him who ruins things. I
should know because I wanted to spend my life with Taylor. I wanted to spend my
life with so many wild men. They couldn’t live with all that need. It’s why I
work with Larry.”

Nearly making a barfing gesture, I was able to
restrain myself. My face must have done something though because she frowned.

“Larry provides security. Before him, life was
chaos for me. I never trusted in anything especially myself. With him, I have
found a rock. It’s what I needed and it’s what you’ll need one day once your
heart’s been broken by Aaron.”

“Did you come here to get me to break up with
Aaron? It won’t work. I know him and he’s a good man.”

“I never said he wasn’t. You think I’m attacking
you. I know you though. Not because we were ever close, but we’re so similar. I
know you because I’ve come to know myself after failing for so long. I know me
well enough to know you won’t leave Aaron until he begs you to go. I was the
same way. What I felt was too strong to walk away from. Had my mother told me
what I’ve told you, I wouldn’t have cared either. I would have held onto Taylor and I still would have lost him. Nothing can change fate. A woman like you and a
man like him can’t work. You think you’re creative and I thought I was too. I
was quirky and a dreamer and I thought that made me like Taylor. It just made
me a groupie, feasting off his talent and needing his acceptance to give me
worth.”

“Larry is a jerk.”

“He’s not much of a father, but he’s a good husband
and that’s what I needed.”

“Yeah, but we were still kids when you married
him.”

“You were fifteen and Raven was nearly eighteen.
You had plenty of fathers over the years and didn’t need Larry to care about
you.”

“Mother of the year.”

“You can call me selfish, but it’s how the Hancock
women are. We might want to be good mothers or sisters or friends, but all of
our worth comes from the men we love. When we’re loved well, we’re happy like I
am with Larry. If we’re not loved, nothing else matters. Why do you think Raven
could just leave us behind? She’s got Hancock blood and her need to be with
Dexter mattered more than anything else.”

“I’m not Raven.”

“No, she’s a fighter. I never was unless it was for
a man. You’re the same way. When Larry said jump, you said how high. Until it
came to having a man you wanted then you were brave.”

“Fuck you,” I whispered. “I’m not you.”

“I would have said the same thing to my mother. I
didn’t want to be like her. I wanted to be more. Wanted to be better. Independent.
Strong. Smart. I certainly didn’t think I’d be a mother like she was. I thought
I would adore my kids and they would give me meaning like I never gave her any.
I was wrong and you’ll feel the same way one day.”

Standing up, I thought about the baby growing
inside me and wished I knew in my heart that her cruel words were a lie. My
mind returned to the memory of Phoenix floating in the pool. I’d destroyed his
life because I was too busy living mine. I was a Hancock woman. Maybe one day,
I would sit across from my child and give her the same speech I now received.

“I’m not giving up Aaron.”

“I know,” Mom said, standing up. “I never thought
you would, but I wanted you to know I understood. When Larry is standing next
to me, I have to pretend like you’ve lost your mind and I can’t understand why
you behave the way you do. It’s a lie though. I do know and I knew the moment
you ditched Dylan at the library. You were truly brave for the first time in
your life and I knew Aaron was the reason. In that second, I knew you wouldn’t
give him up until he asked you to. When that day comes, I hope you won’t feel
too bad. As Hancock girls, we can only enjoy what fate allows. We are who we
are and accepting it is easier than living a lie.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Nothing, Lark. There’s nothing to say. You feel
what you feel and I’m not changing your mind.”

“Are you going to eat?”

“No, I’m meeting Larry for lunch and want to save
my appetite.”

“Can’t go over the calories he allows,” I muttered.

Mom smiled. “When you find your rock, you’ll
sacrifice for him too.”

My mom hugged me and I let her. Something about our
moods made me feel like I was saying goodbye to her. At the very least, I was
saying goodbye to the lie of my mother as someone who tried her best and
regretted her mistakes. Instead, she just accepted they were part of Hancock
legacy. No harm, no foul.

Watching her leave, I wanted to be different. I
wanted to take after another part of my family. On Mom’s side was a history of
failure. On Dad’s side was a history of crime and addiction. If legacy and fate
were any indications, I wasn’t the only one awaiting a failed future. I just
hoped the baby took after Aaron.