Damaged and the Outlaw (24 page)

Farah Smith was
an easy chick to understand. She was hot for her husband. She wanted to be a
teacher. She loved her little sister and hated talking about her past.
Easy
peasy.
Tawny was something else.

Since I’d met
her, Tawny was several different people. Sulky one day, grumpy the next, then
relaxed and smiling often. I realized it might be years before I knew the real
Tawny. Despite her moods, she gave me great advice about Vaughn. She was also
hella funny in the right mood like during dinner with Judd and Vaughn.

Tawny opened the
door to her new condo and gave me a smile I’d never seen on her. None of the
worries from before were on her beautiful face as she waved us inside. Inside
the brand new and sparsely decorated luxury condo, I noticed Judd at the
windows, looking out at the dark evening. He gave us a smile and looked less grumpy
enforcer than happy husband.

“We finally
moved in a few days ago. This is baby Opal,” Tawny said, picking up a young
gray and white cat. “Pearl is perched near the window. She’s pretty psyched
about the move.”

“Your place is
banging, man,” Vaughn told Judd who nodded in his manly equivalent of duh. “I
hear the unit across the hall is available. Raven and I should get it, so we
can double date every day. Show up at all hours of the night. Borrow all your
sugar. Really be neighbors.”

“No,” Judd said
quickly.

“I don’t know,
man,” Vaughn continued. “This place is swanky and I’ve got a woman to spoil. I
should ask the sales dude downstairs about buying it.”

“No,” Judd said
with more force. “Find your own damn place.”

“I have,” Vaughn
teased. “It’s right next door. It’s going to be fucking awesome.”

Tawny set down
the cat and cuddled with Judd instead. “Let them join us. Better than having
strangers as our neighbors. I’ve been praying it wouldn’t be some lame trendy
types who play
Jenga
on the weekends with their dork friends.”

Judd smiled at
his woman. “Vaughn plays
Jenga
.
Candyland
too.”

“Lame,” she
cooed.

“Should I be
defending you?” I asked Vaughn who frowned at Judd and Tawny until they unglued
their gazes.

“No way, sugar.
Candyland
is awesome. You ever play it drunk? The game’s pretty hard actually.”

As I grinned at
Vaughn and pressed my body against his, we were already imagining picking up
beers on the way home along and enjoying a wasted game of
Candyland
.

“My candy girl
loves playing games,” Vaughn murmured, kissing my nose.

“And my pixy
stix loves being inside me.”

“We’re not
making it to dinner at this rate,” Judd said, rubbing the back of his neck while
Tawny detached herself from him.

“Let me show you
around,” she said, taking my hand. “Then, we’ll go eat.”

While Vaughn and
Judd stood at the large windows and played who could be silent longer, I
followed Tawny around the condo. The place was pretty empty, but I didn’t
mention furniture shopping. She seemed too happy to finally be in their new
place. I hadn’t seen Tawny this happy since her wedding in Vegas and I refused
to do anything to ruin it.

When we walked
into the larger spare room, Tawny looked around the empty space.

“This room might
be a nursery one day,” she said, sounding immediately uneasy.

“You’ll want a
baby. I can see that you have the urge. You just want to do it on your terms
and schedule. No reason to let anyone push you around. Your man and you are on
the same page. That’s all that matters. Everyone else is static.”

“I know. It’s
just that people think I should do certain things.”

“What people?”

Tawny shrugged
and stared out the window. “People.”

“Like Farah?” I
asked, pushing her because I sensed she wanted advice, but was afraid of what I
might offer.

“No,” Tawny said
quickly. “Never Farah.”

“Cooper’s
family? Judd’s mom?”

“I know Zaria would like a grandchild, but she doesn’t pressure us. She knows we’re not ready.”

“Then, who?”

Tawny ran her
fingers through her hair and tugged at it hard. I wondered if I should to stop
pushing. Anyone else would have backed off. I wanted Tawny to be happy and
hiding from her feelings was making her miserable.

“Who?” I asked
again.

“I have a
grandmother who conned some old rich guy and ended up having money. We’ve
always kissed her ass because of that money. She’s a bitch though. Always
nitpicking us and getting my name wrong on purpose.”

“And she wants
you to have a kid?”

“Farah is
married and has a baby on the way. It’s like she’s doing all this great stuff.
College too. I’m not doing those great things. I’m just trying to get my high
school diploma online. I feel like I’m failing and she’s judging me.”

“Do you see her
a lot?”

“No.”

“Why do you care
then?”

“She’s
judgmental and I don’t want her thinking my life isn’t as good as Farah’s.”

Glancing around
the empty room, I finally smiled. “So she’s not hounding you, but you think
she’s thinking it.”

“I know she is.”

“This
grandmother conned an old guy?”

“She was a
grifter. It’s how she got his money and now she lives off the interest from
what she conned from him.”

“So she’s
greedy, right? Like money is what matters to her.”

Looking on the
edge of losing control, Tawny nodded. I reached out and took her hand before
continuing.

“A woman like
that would think this place was awesome. Like Vaughn said, it’s swanky.
Everything is new and modern. People are always talking up that granite and
hardwood floors on those TV house shows. This place wasn’t cheap, right?”

Tawny shook her
head.

“Don’t you think
that rich bitch would dig a place like this? Anyone else in your family got
money?”

“Just Farah.”

“So you have
this swanky place and don’t have to work like a slave for it. You just have to
love a really hot guy.” When Tawny’s gaze narrowed, I grinned. “I’m not going
to mess with your man. I’ve got a hot one of my own.”

“I’m
territorial.”

“Because he’s
worth keeping. You’re thinking about your life in this negative way and
assuming she’s shitting on you. A woman like that doesn’t care about kids. She
doesn’t care about inner happiness. She’s about the bling. You have a hot man
with an ugly job that pays well. You have respect because of Judd and your job
with Cooper. You have what a woman like her cares about and that’s money and
power.”

I saw her
considering my words. For whatever reason, she had allowed a nasty bitch get
into her head.

“She’s not
judging you, Tawny. She’s probably sitting around thinking shit about the rest
of your family. Thinking how you and Farah turned out well and deciding she’s
the one who gets the credit. She’s thinking why can’t your loser relatives be
like you? I know uppity fucks like your grandma and she’s not stressing you
being childless. Hell, she’s probably thinking Farah got knocked up so fast to
keep Cooper. Bitches like her always think the same crap because they don’t
feel anything real. Love is a con for them. What you have with Judd isn’t
something she can understand. This condo and your big wedding ring are things
she understands.”

Tawny pulled at
her fingers. “You think I’m stupid to worry about her.”

“No. I think you
got that bitch’s voice in your head and can’t get it out. I have the same
problem with my shithead dad. I know he’s an idiot. I know it, but I hear him
sometimes telling me that I’m a loser or a jinx. I hear my mom too. It’s work
to keep them quiet.”

“Therapy makes
it worse. I mean, I know it’ll help in the long run, but right now, it’s hard.
I talk about things in the doctor’s office and I feel safe. Once I leave, I
don’t feel safe. The words I said to the shrink follow me. The memories too.”

Tawny glanced at
the door then back at me. “I wish Judd was still coming with me to the
sessions.”

“Why isn’t he?”

Shrugging, Tawny
stared at her hands. “I was doing better, so I said he didn’t have to come. If
I ask him to take me again, he’ll think I’m getting worse.”

“Or he’ll be
happy to help his woman. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and you’re his
heart. He knows you’re hurting and probably doesn’t know what to do for you. If
you ask for help, I bet he’ll be relieved.”

“You should be a
shrink,” Tawny said, giving me a smile.

“Hell no. I’m
too bossy. I would give someone advice, they wouldn’t listen, and I’d freak out
on them. Why keep coming to me with the same problems? I already gave you the
solution.”

Smiling wider
now, Tawny took a deep breath. “I wanted permission to ask him. I hinted with
Farah, but she didn’t get it. Like she thought I wanted her to tell me I was
doing well, but I’m not. Farah doesn’t like thinking about the past and she
avoids dealing with it. When I look miserable, she wants to give me a pep talk
and say everything is okay. That works for her, but I’m dealing with the past
and pep talks aren’t enough. She’s not ready to deal with it. That’s another
thing. If I tell her therapy makes it worse, she won’t go and she needs to go.
She needs to try at least.”

“Well, I give
you permission to ask Judd for help. He wants you to be happy and feels
helpless when you’re not. You’ll be doing him a favor by asking.”

Tawny laughed.
“Who am I to say no to such perfect advice?”

“I wouldn’t
suggest you do. I’m really bitching about people ignoring my awesome ideas.”

Taking my hand, she
walked out of the room where we found Vaughn and Judd playing pool in the dining
room. The guys were deep in silent competition, so we admired their hot bodies
quietly. Our giggling finally drew their attention.

“Where are we
eating?” Vaughn asked, hitting a ball.

“We should eat somewhere
that preggos can’t enjoy,” I suggested and Tawny grinned. “I think they can’t
eat deli meat, but I don’t want that crap.”

Tawny searched
info on her phone then smiled. “Sushi is supposed to be iffy.”

“Barf,” Vaughn
said and Judd grimaced.

“We should go to
a fish place and share a little sushi to celebrate our powerful birth control.”

Judd smiled at
this comment. “Poor Aaron.”

“Screw Aaron,” I
grunted. “Lark’s the one carrying two babies.”

Vaughn and Judd
looked at each other then burst out laughing.

“What’s so
funny?”

“He hooks up
with a chick whose birth control is defective and ends up with twins,” Vaughn
said, walking to me. “Dumb fuck probably didn’t know what hit him.”

“He gets to
spend his life with an amazing person. Fuck you for laughing at his good luck.”

“Don’t go big
sis on me, daffodil. One day, I’m knocking you up with twins too. No harm in
making double the hot kids.”

“I’m still mad.”

“Wanna make a
baby right now?” he whispered in my ear.

“Sushi first.”

“Barf.”

“We’ll see.”

Thirty minutes
later, Vaughn proved me wrong. He hated sushi and nearly threw up after trying
a bite. Watching him freak-out nearly killed me. I laughed so hard I couldn’t
breathe. Tawny was also in hysterics. Like any good friend would, Judd took a
picture of a gagging Vaughn with his phone.

“Sent it to the
crew. You’re welcome.”

“Jackass,”
Vaughn said, wiping his tongue with a napkin.

Calming my
laughter, I stroked his ponytail. “Poor baby. I’ll make it up to you later.”

Vaughn’s
horrified expression immediately shifted into a smirk. “Yeah, you will.”

A fish dinner
later, we ended up at a honky-tonk outside of Ellsberg with a mechanical bull. Continuing
our desire for non-preggo approved activities, Tawny and I took turns riding
between our whiskey shots. Mostly, we fell then laughed our asses off.

The nearly empty
honky-tonk had only a few regulars around and those guys loved the show. At
first, they did anyway. Judd and Vaughn joined the hooting guys at the bar. When
I glanced at them, I saw nothing aggressive about their behavior. After turning
away to watch Tawny get bucked off, I glanced back and found the other guys
leaving. Suddenly, we had the place to ourselves.

“Meow,” I teased
Vaughn who flexed his muscles then kissed his guns.

Judd stopped
looking ready to kill someone and laughed at his friend. They were comparing
their guns when Tawny and I hurried over.

“Let’s compare
asses next,” Tawny announced. “Turn around and shake those fuckers!”