Damaged and the Outlaw (20 page)

“You know that’s
not your fault.”

“Logically, it
was my stupid stepdad’s fault, but you can jinx yourself. You can make bad
things happen by wishing too much for good things.”

Studying Raven,
I realized she was really out of it. The chloroform had done a number on her.
Fatigue and panic broke her down until she was a superstitious child afraid to
look under the bed.

“You don’t need
to say it,” I told her, helping Raven to her feet. “We’ll rest and…”

“I’m not fucking
you,” she said, pushing me away. “What you did by bringing me here was crazy.
I’m not rewarding that bullshit.”

“Thanks for the
life lesson, mom,” I teased, nudging her towards the bedroom. “We’ll sleep and
talk in the morning”

“Is it safe here
in the woods?”

“Yes.”

“What if
something attacks?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.”

“I have more
guns here than at my apartment. If something attacks, we’ll shoot it and go
back to sleep.”

Raven smiled
slightly. “You’re strong, Vaughn. You can survive.”

“I will survive.
Nothing is taking me away from you.”

“Shh…” she
hissed. “You’ll jinx it.”

“Okay, baby.”

Raven stripped
down to her panties and tee then crawled into bed. She glanced back at me and
made clear no fucking was occurring. I just smiled as I removed every stitch of
my clothes. I slept naked and her life lesson wasn’t changing this fact.

Raven cuddled
next to me. “I missed you.”

“I missed you
too. I spent all day thinking about you.”

“Were you
naked?”

“Yeah, mostly.”

Eyes closed,
Raven grinned. “If you’re not tired, you don’t have to stay with me.”

“I didn’t sleep
well last night. I was too busy missing you.”

Raven laughed
then held onto me tightly. “I feel weird.”

“I’m sorry I
drugged you. I really thought you were going out with a guy.”

“Yeah, then it
would have totally been okay.”

“Tell me you
wouldn’t be jealous.”

“Psycho jealous,
but I’d stay away. I want to protect you.”

“You’re not a
jinx, tulip. Since I’ve met you, things have been better. Loving you is a gift,
not a curse,” I said then added quietly, “I wish you’d say you loved me. I’m
feeling insecure.”

Raven brushed
her lips against mine then glared down at me. “Asshole. No way are you
insecure.”

“True, but I
want to hear it. I’ve tossed my balls into your damn purse. I just want to know
you’ll take good care of them.”

Giving me a
little smile, Raven caressed my cheek. “Promise me nothing bad will happen if I
say it.”

“I promise,
kiwi. If anything bad happens, it’ll be because of what I did years ago.”

“You were a hero
and don’t call me kiwi. Dex used to call me Kiki.”

“Why?”

“I have no clue.
He smoked a lot of pot. Likely killed too many brain cells.”

“No more kiwi
then.”

Raven studied me
in the darkness and I loved those eyes. They were wise and innocent at the same
time. They were the eyes of the woman I loved, but she was still afraid.

“I love you,”
she whispered then looked around like the house might fall on us.

“Those words are
like music.”

“I’d rather die
than have something bad happen to you. I mean that.”

“I feel the same
way about you, rosebud.”

“No sex,” she muttered,
removing my hands from her butt.

“You want to
punish me. Well, what’s more of a punishment than caressing your sweet ass and
knowing I can’t spend any time inside you.”

“Oh, in that
case,” she said, returning my hands to her warm skin. “Suffer, bitch.”

“I am sorry I
drugged you.”

“No, you’re
not.”

“Well, I am now
that I know you weren’t going on a date. Had I known you were still wrapped
around my finger, I totally would have handled things different.”

“I’m going to
sleep now.”

“I’ll be here
when you wake up.”

“Promise,” she
whispered and I heard real fear in her voice.

“I promise,
Raven. Nothing is taking me away from you.”

Her breathing
shifted and slowed as sleep took her. While I was tired, rest didn’t come
quickly. The last twenty four hours, I thought of nothing besides making Raven
admit what I knew.
We belonged together.

Waking up next
to Vaughn felt like heaven, even if the reason I was at the cabin was insane. I
couldn’t believe he had drugged me. Or maybe I could. Vaughn lived in his own
world and apparently his behavior made sense to him.

I put aside his
crazy and focused on how he loved me. I loved him too. If only it were that
simple, we could be happy. Even for average people, nothing was simple and
Vaughn wasn’t average. Despite my fears, in my heart, I knew he was mine.

Getting up, I
dressed in my running shorts and tee before walking to the kitchen. I dug
around in the drawers until I found coffee grounds. Soon, the coffee was
brewing and I was fixing the lamp I’d yanked from the wall the night before.

Vaughn appeared
as I poured us coffees. His expression was unreadable, but I knew he was waiting
to see my reaction.

“Don’t be
afraid,” I said as he remained stuck at the doorway. “I can’t kill you since I
don‘t know the way home.”

Grinning, he
walked over and took his cup of coffee. “I love you. Nothing changed from a
good night’s sleep.”

“I’m still
afraid. So no, nothing’s changed.”

Vaughn leaned
back against the counter and studied me. “You hungry?”

“No. Can we sit
outside and drink our coffee?”

He reached for
my hand and I let him take it. Even if I wanted to be angry, he looked
vulnerable. I didn’t have the heart to kick him when he needed me to hold him.

The front of the
cabin had a porch with five large steps leading to what I assumed was the yard.
The cabin was stuck in the middle of the woods. Around us, large trees hovered
and I liked how quiet it felt. Only the birds chirped and bugs sang.

“Are you feeling
okay?” he asked, pushing my hair behind my ear.

“Yeah. No
aftereffects from being abducted by a sexy nutjob.”

“I don’t have a
lot in my life that I can’t stand to lose. I thought I was losing you and
freaked out. Some chicks might find that romantic.”

Giving him a
little grin, I sighed. “I might not be strong enough for this, Vaughn.”

“You’re the
strongest chick I’ve ever met,” he said, caressing my bruised knuckles. “You
love me too.”

I heard the
question, even though he stated it as a fact.

“I do love you.
It’s not sex. It hasn’t been sex for a while, but I never thought we could have
anything else. Even knowing that, I would think of us together in the future. I
would imagine what our kids might look like. When something happened, even
small stuff, you were the first person I wanted to tell. Not Lark, but you.
That scared me so much because I always felt like we were on borrowed time. This
last week, I kept seeing you dead. My mind showed it to me again and again. It
killed me a little more each time. Now, I’m scared to lose you for real.”

“You were never
going to be with anyone else, were you? I mean, I never even considered another
chick after you said we were over. I need to know you never thought about another
guy. It’s immature maybe, but I need to know.”

“If I lose you,
there’s no one else.
Ever.
Those guys before were losers and I was a
loser to hold onto them. You’re more amazing than I ever imagined a guy could
be. I’ve always been willing to settle. Yet with you, it’s not settling. It’s
like a dream. I know that sounds lame, but I wake up wondering what you’ll say
and do. What you think about things? I want to see the world from your eyes. No
guy has ever been like that for me. No guy could ever be like that for me
again. It’s you or nothing.”

“Thanks,” he
said, kissing my head. “It’s important for me to know I’ve ruined you for all
other men.”

Leaning against
him, I laughed. “You’re such a child. It makes me good about my immaturity.”

“We’re
emotionally stunted, but together we equal a normal adult.”

“True.”

‘You know, I haven’t
been able to pick just the right nickname for you, tulip pumpkin sugar darling.
I can now. You’re hope. You give me hope.”

Eyes burning, I
wiped angrily at them. “I’ve turned into such a sissy lately.”

“Love will do
that.”

I smiled. “Yeah,
it will.” Setting aside my coffee, I stood up. “Can we take a walk? It’s nice
out here.”

Vaughn looked
like a little kid offered a chance to show off his favorite toy. After pulling
on our shoes, he offered his arm and we followed a natural path. Both in our
heads, we remained silent for a while then I asked why he built a place out in
the woods.

“The only family
I had besides my mom was my granddad who lived in the mountains of West Virginia. He used to be a plumber until my grandma died and he sort of cracked up. He
wanted away from the world, so he used his saving to buy up some land and build
a house.”

Vaughn paused to
change directions when the clearing ended and we reached thick brush.

“During the
summers, my mom didn’t want me alone in our shitty apartment and getting into
trouble. I got sent off to Granddad’s place and it always sucked the first few
days. No TV, no videogames, no candy. Like death to a kid. I’d get up early and
work all day around his property. We had to hunt for our food and take care of
the chickens and cut wood. It was exhausting. I’d crash by eight a lot of
nights. It was a hard life, but there was a beauty to it. He and I would sit
quietly for hours. Sometimes, we’d talk, but he wasn’t a chatty guy. He was as
hardcore as anyone I ever knew.”

Arriving at a
clearing, Vaughn reached down and tore a flower from a bush. He pushed my hair
back behind my ear then added the flower.

“I was thinking
about him one night and I got it in my head that I needed a place where I could
hide from the shit in town. I never bought into how I was a real Reaper. I was
always on the outside. It was the same in the Devils. My mom married Ted and
his brother was the president. I was just the guy who they gave the dirty work
to. I never felt like I belonged. I got the wolf tattoos because I wanted to be
a lone wolf, but it’s bullshit. Wolves belong to a pack and I want to belong
too. With you, I do.”

Bending down to
get a flower for his hair, I smiled. “Do you believe in God?”

“Sure. Mom
didn’t believe in church. Said it was full of stuck up assholes. I think that’s
because some jackass told her she was a whore to have a kid out of wedlock. She
still believed though.”

“Do you think He
cares about us?”

“Yeah, but not
in a sissy way. Like he doesn’t hold our hands and shit.”

“I always
thought there was a god because I saw some really cool stuff, but I didn’t
think He cared. Not after He let Phoenix die. I prayed for Lark though and she
found someone who makes her happy. I didn’t pray for myself, but now I’ve met
you. Could that be God? If He wanted us to meet then maybe you’ll live and we
can be together? Do you think that’s stupid?”

“Way I see it,
believing in God and thinking He cares matters more than if it’s true. I didn’t
believe in shit until I met you. I was just living day to day. Now, I believe
in us and I have hope. I’m holding onto that hope even if it doesn’t make a
damn bit of sense. If it gives us a chance at being happy, faith is all we
need. Can you have faith in us?”

Studying Vaughn,
I felt my fear fading. “I can’t believe someone as amazing as you exists.”

Grinning, Vaughn
lifted his arms. “Ta da!”

When I lunged
for him, he didn’t miss a beat. His hands grabbed under my butt and pulled me
tight against him. My lips met his and I wanted to devour every inch of him. As
his hands gripped my ass, I ran my fingers through his hair while grinding my
hips against his.

“Wait,” he
muttered, reaching for my lips as I pulled away.

“No more
waiting,” I said, sliding off him and onto my knees.

Unbuckling his
jeans, I grinned at him. “I like that you were worried about me with someone
else. Jealousy is really sexy on you.”

“Baby, keeping
up with a conversation isn’t going to be possible…”

Vaughn sighed as
I released him from his jeans and gave his erection a lick. Sucking him into my
mouth, I savored every inch of him. When he was rock hard and leaking onto my
tongue, Vaughn decided to take charge.

Lifting me up,
he pressed me against a tree and slid over the clothes separating us.

“I’m going to
get chig bites all over my ass,” I murmured while nipping at his neck. “It’ll
be worth it.”

Vaughn slid his
strong fingers into my hair and tugged my head back. He bit at my lower lip
then stared hard into my eyes.

“Never tell me
no again,” he growled.

“Fuck off,” I
said, giving his chin a lick.

A smile spread
across Vaughn’s face and he entered me in one hard thrust. Our bodies moved
together, quickly finding a rhythm. Vaughn sucked at my throat and I felt the pleasure
building. Not only the physical pleasure, but the joy of knowing I had found
real love. I wasn’t chasing losers who would disappoint me. I’d discovered a
beautiful funny man who knew me better than anyone and loved it all.

When my orgasm
washed over me, I felt reborn in Vaughn’s arms. I sensed he felt something
similar. As his pleasure built to a fever pitch, his gaze met mine.

“You’re mine,”
he said, thrusting harder.

“And you’re
mine. No one is taking you away.”

Smiling, Vaughn
let go and we came together. I held onto him even after we’d finished and his
embrace never wavered. I wished to remain like that forever.

“Wanna go inside
and do this again?” I suggested.

Vaughn sighed
and let me down slowly. I adjusted my clothes and he redid his pants. We
watched each other for a moment then he sighed again.

“It’s way past
fucking.”

“I know. It’s
love.”

Vaughn gave me a
little smile. “If you’ll stick it out with me, I will fight anyone to stay
alive. Until you, I was living because I didn’t want to die. Now, I have
something real to live for. If you promise to give us a real chance, I’ll fight
to live to be an old man.”

Hugging him, I
smiled. “I’m not leaving you. We’re a team and I’ll kill to save you.”

“Just stay with
me and I’ll worry about the killing.”

I rolled my
eyes. “I can kill too.”

Vaughn smiled
then took my hand as we started back to the cabin. “I know you’re good with a
gun which I find incredibly sexy, but killing is something else.”

“If someone
comes to kill you and I can stop them, I’m taking the shot. I want you to be
that old man getting sweet loving from this old lady.”

His smile
widening, Vaughn glanced up at the sunny sky. “You give me hope and I am not
letting go of you or it.”

“I’m sorry I
blew you off at the bar that night.”

“Your dad
freaked you out then I freaked you out more.”

“I handled it
like a child. Threw a fit and ran away.”

“Yeah, but I
threw a fit and ran away from you too. We always find our way back to each
other because here is where we belong.”

“Fuck yeah.”

Vaughn grabbed
me around the waist and tossed me over his shoulder.

“Let’s get back
to the cabin.”

“I could walk
faster,” I said as he jogged.

“I don’t want
you wearing yourself out. Save that energy.”

Laughing as he
nearly ran back to the cabin, I was ready to go the minute he tossed me gently
into the bed. I stripped down then turned around and wiggled my ass for him.
Vaughn nearly pounced on me and we didn’t stop for two hours.

After a short
dozing nap, we ate soup in the family room.

“I like this place.
It’s quiet and smells like you.”

“You really dig
that body spray, don’t you?”

“Yeah because it
makes me think of you.”

Vaughn smiled. “When
this Devils shit gets dealt with, you and I can spend weekends out here.”

“Bring our kids
out to teach them about the quiet.”

Smile fading,
Vaughn studied me. “I want a family, Raven. A real family with all the boring
crap most guys don’t like. I miss that closeness. We don’t have to start right
away, but I really want kids. They scare Judd, but I like the little stink
machines.”

Crawling closer,
I kissed his bare shoulder. “I like them too.”

Vaughn opened
his mouth to say something then changed his mind. I figured he was worried
about jinxing things or maybe he was just getting used to being in love. Kids
could wait.

We washed the
dishes and prepared to leave. I was about to tease Vaughn about his choice of
soups when a bullet tore through the window and landed between us.

Vaughn moved so
fast I never had time to react. He pushed me down as a second shot whipped past.
I stared up at him as his face hardened and the killer in the man I loved came
to the surface.