Damaged and the Outlaw (17 page)

Tawny climbed
out and walked quickly to Judd. They stared at each other then he lifted an
eyebrow and she smiled. Vaughn and I didn’t have the ability to do the silent
conversation thing. Instead, he strolled over to me and ran his tongue over his
top teeth.

“Everything
okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, it was
just a false alarm about some douche trying to break into my place,” Vaughn
said, sliding his hands into my shorts and cupping my butt. “I cawed my heart
out during the game, baby cakes. You owe me videogame time.”

“Are we fucking
here? Should I start fake moaning?”

“Why fake
moaning?” he asked, wide eyed. “Am I not satisfying you? Am I a failure in bed?
Is my dong too small?”

Laughing, I
looked at Judd who rolled his eyes before taking Tawny’s hand and walking away.
When I returned my gaze to Vaughn, he was fondling me under my shirt.

“You looked so
damn hot skating around tonight.”

“Did you like
how I fell?”

“No,” he said as
his cocky smile faded. “I hate seeing you bruised up. Are you in pain?”

“Yeah. In fact,
I might just go home and sleep. Save our fun for when I feel better.”

Vaughn stared at
me expressionless for a minute. I thought he might let me leave and I really
needed the separation. Talking with Tawny made me hope for more with Vaughn. I
was even thinking about him alive at Christmas, next year, in a decade. My
hopes had gotten too high and I needed time to bring them back to earth.

“Listen, candy
apple,” Vaughn said in a low seductive voice that instantly made me smile, “my
place has that deep bathtub. How about we head over there and you soak for a
while in the hot water. I promise I won’t climb in and join you. Boy Scout’s
honor. Afterwards, I’ll dry you off with my tongue then we’ll play a little.
After that, we’ll order something yummy from that takeout place you like and
play videogames. Finally, I’ll massage you before bed.”

“That sounds
nice,” I said, running my fingers over the rough hairs on his cheek. “Promise
you won’t be mad if I’m not the best company tonight.”

“Mad? Never.
Will I cry like a bitch? Yeah, probably, but we’ll make it work.”

Hugging him, I
inhaled his divine scent and listened to his heart beat. “I don’t normally fall
down that much,” I said as he played with my hair.

“Were you
thinking of me naked and got distracted?”

“Yes,” I lied.
“My brain couldn’t handle the image.”

Vaughn laughed
and kissed my head. Following him to his place, I used the drive to think about
why I couldn’t keep my mind on the game. Every time I saw Vaughn acting like an
idiot in front of his friends, I realized how special he was. I also realized how
much I loved him, but he would be gone soon. The thought of him dead sent me
sprawling every time.

Lies were my
sustenance for years. I bullshit myself so easily until I met Raven. When I
broke down after my mom died and she held me, I knew I loved her. The way she
looked at me sometimes made me certain that she loved me too.

The lies kept on
coming though.

We were fuck
buddies. Nothing more. Even if I wanted to call bullshit on this lie, Raven
needed to pretend. Whenever I talked about how I’d never met a girl like her,
she’d pull away. I’d feel her closing herself off from me and I hated that
feeling. So I let her lie because I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for the
truth either. I’d met the woman of my dreams just as my death was on the
horizon.

Every morning
for the last week, Raven awoke in my bed with her wild bed head and sleepy
smile. This was the face I wanted to wake up to every day for the rest of my
life. Too bad my life wasn’t going to amount to much.

The Summer Fun
Fair was a chance to think about something besides death. Raven was the perfect
kind of girl for the fair too. She loved shitty food, unsafe rides, and the
noise. In the first hour, we had a hot dog eating contest that I easily won.
Next, we rode the Tornado to see who would puke. Neither of us did, but Raven ran
to the restroom to deal with the huge sodas she’d downed.

Standing near
the restrooms, I was relieved Raven didn’t carry a purse. With how whipped I
felt, no doubt I’d agree to hold it like a chump.

The fair was
pretty packed despite the lack of college kids in town. I noticed a few club
guys with their families. Kirk had Sawyer on his shoulders as they walked with
Jodi. The little girl was eating cotton candy and pointing at rides.

If I wasn’t an
outlaw, I might have that one day with Raven. The possibility was so real, yet
just out of reach.

“Boo!” a voice
said and I felt a poke at my back.

Turning around,
I came face to face with the girl who inspired me to be the outlaw. Harlow looked young with her hair in a ponytail and face paint making her look like a cat.

“Hi, Vaughn.
Can’t believe I snuck up on you like that,” she said, smiling brightly as if
life were all rainbows and unicorns.

“My enemies
don’t tend to be cats, so I overlooked the threat.”

Harlow
’s smile faded
at my tone. Her hurt expression made me sigh. It was always awkward with Harlow.

“This is Winona,” she said, nervous now. “She’s my Todds sister.”

Like Harlow once
hid behind me, Winona now cowered behind her sister. With her face painted, I couldn’t
tell how old she was. I’d suspect around the same age as eighteen year old Harlow. If she was living with the Todds, Winona suffered a shitty childhood thanks to bikers.
No wonder she was scared of me.

“It was nice
seeing you, Vaughn,” Harlow said when I only frowned at her.

“Enjoy the
fair,” I muttered, wishing I could look at her without wondering about my
choices years ago. “Stay close to your parents.”

Eyes lighting
up, Harlow nodded. I suspected she was thrilled for me to say more than two
words to her.

Not long after
the girls walked away, Raven appeared, messing with her shorts.

“I think I
gained weight since we got here,” she said, fiddling with the waistband.

“I like a girl
with some meat on her bones.”

Raven looked up
at me and smiled so beautifully that my chest tightened at the sight. I wanted
to blurt out how much I loved her then beg her to take my balls as an offering
of my love. Fortunately, Raven wasn’t ready to have me embarrass myself so
completely.

We walked around
the fair, dodging crowds of people. Spotting Judd and Tawny at a game yards
away, I got an idea to show my woman how much I cared without having to say the
words.

“Let me win you
a bear,” I said, stopping in front of a ball throw game. “I was the pitcher on
my little league team.”

“No and stop
telling me personal things about you. Especially about your childhood.”

“Worried you
won’t seem fascinating next to my amazing stories?”

Raven wanted to
smile. I saw how much she fought the grin, but she won. Glaring at me, she
sighed.

“You’re getting
clingy.”

“How do you
figure?”

“Men win crap
for their girlfriends and we’re not dating. You’ve gone soft. I need to dump
you.”

“But we’re not
dating.”

“Dump you as my
fuck buddy.”

A staring
contest ensued. As usual, she won because I wanted to kiss her when I stared
into those eyes for too long.

“Looky over
there,” I said, turning her around towards Judd and Tawny.

My friend had
won his woman a big bear. Tawny was smiling like Judd was amazing even though I
suspected he probably cheated.

“Judd and I are
buddies. Like most men who are buddies, we have regular pissing matches. In
this case, he’s making me look bad, so I need to win my girl a bear to show him
up. Since I don’t have a girl, just some hot fuck toy, I’m going to win a bear
for you.”

Raven watched
our friends then glanced over her shoulder at me and grinned. “Fuck toy was my
nickname in high school.”

Laughing, I took
her hand and yanked her to the game. “Applaud when I kick ass.”

“Why should I?”

“There’ll be
rewards later,” I said, giving her a wink.

Raven’s smile
widened. “Throw the fucking ball!” she cried, jumping up and down. “Knock down
those bottles! Mama needs a new pair of orgasms.”

I struggled to
concentrate with her staring at me with the fake excited expression. Finally, I
turned her away so I could focus on hitting the bottles.

“What’s wrong,
champ? Performance anxiety?” she asked, leaning forward and laughing at my
expense.

The guy running
the game stared at Raven and I didn’t appreciate the way his gaze was mainly on
her fine ass.

“Eyes off my
woman,” I growled and he acted like he hadn’t been looking at all. “I want the
bear with the heart thing on its stomach. How much crap do I have to knock down
to make that happen?”

“Ten,” the guy
said then noticed Raven was now eyeing the bear. “Fine, six.”

Smirking, I took
the ball and threw it at the bottles. They smashed in a really dramatic way and
Raven smiled like I was an ace pitcher. When she cheered and bounced, I nearly
missed the second set of bottles.

“Ooh, you’re so
strong,” she said, rubbing up against me. “Such a powerful Little Leaguer.”

“Please, allow
me to win this toy for my fuck toy. She deserves it for going to a carnival
without a bra.”

“I’m wearing a
bra,” she hissed, looking at her boobs.

Taking this
moment with her eyes off me to focus on something besides those tits hiding in
a black bra, I threw the ball and hit the last set. Raven was still fiddling
with the bra when I handed her the bear.

“Ta da.”

Raven shrugged.
“Did you call my boobs saggy?”

“No, I just like
talking about your tits. Now, take your fucking bear.”

Raven looked at
the bear then at me. “My last fuck buddy won me a bigger prize.”

Frowning, I
thought the bear was damn cute for a carnival prize. It was pink and furry and
had a heart on its fucking tummy. What chick wouldn’t want this damn bear?
A
crazy one, dammit!

“I’ll toss it
then,” I said, aiming at the nearby trashcan.

Raven reached
for the bear. “Don’t you dare.”

“Beg for it,” I
whispered as she reached for the bear I held over her head. “Make me pity you.”

Raven stopped
trying to reach the bear and caressed my chest. Her blue eyes met mine and I
smiled at the softness in her gaze.

“Please,
Vaughn,” she whispered.

“Fuck,” I
mumbled, handing her the bear. “That’s cheating.”

Nuzzling the
bear, she smiled. “I believe it’s called winning.”

Wrapping an arm
around her shoulders, I walked towards Judd and Tawny. I was impressed by how
my friend managed to look butch even while holding a rainbow colored bear under
his arm.

While Judd sized
me up then my bear, Raven smiled at Tawny who was licking a giant green
lollipop. My woman’s eyes lit up and Tawny gestured towards the stand selling
candy. When Raven looked at me, I saw the need in her gaze. She could afford a
lollipop. What she longed for was the idea of her man getting her something
like Judd got for Tawny. She craved the reality of our relationship. The thing
we hid from constantly.

“Do they have
pink?” I asked Judd. “Fuck Toy likes pink.”

“Nice nickname,”
Tawny snorted. “Judd calls me angel.”

Raven smiled
easily. “Vaughn calls me a million nicknames. I’m too hot for just one.”

The girls eyed
each other and I liked the competitive streak between them. Raven might not be
able to say the words, but she was claiming me in little ways. Tawny finally
smiled at Raven.

“Good luck with
that,” she said, walking away with a smirking Judd behind her.

As they
disappeared into the crowds, I walked with Raven to get her a pink lollipop.
Like an excited kid, she had a bounce to her step. Soon, she enjoyed a giant
pink lollipop while I kept a second one for later. I planned for her to eat it
while naked. It would be my prize for the night.

More fried food
and a nearly puke-inducing carnival ride later, we met up with Cooper and Farah
at Whiskey Kirk’s. Tucker was on the dance floor with Maddy, but I doubt they’d
last long. They were less dancing than giving foreplay.

“Remember when
we were about to get married and were still hot for each other?” Farah asked
Cooper who was staring at her tits.

“Yeah, too bad
all the heat went out of the bedroom when you said, ‘I do.’”

Farah caressed
his jaw. “You’re so mature now. All grown up like a man.”

Cooper finally
stopped looking at her tits so he could frown at her.

“I was always a
man. All man.”

Farah shrugged.
“You were a boy really.”

“It was less
than a year ago,” he grumbled, kissing her neck. “I was all man.”

“You’ve grown
since then. Matured. Came into your own. Stopped wetting the bed.”

Cooper tried to
act irritated, but Raven had spit out her beer and Farah was laughing too hard.
Shrugging, he glanced at me.

“Any trouble?”

“No, boss. Quiet
all night.”

When the women
looked at us, we shrugged in unison. Raven seemed unconvinced.

“I might puke
from eating so much crap tonight.”

“I’ll hold your
hair, Daisy Dukes.”

Cooper made the
sound of a whip snapping and I glared at him.

“
Really?
Really?
” I growled. “If I opened Farah’s purse, would I find your balls
rolling around in there?”

Now, Cooper
glared. Farah nodded though. “He’s mine and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

This comment made
Cooper smile and he went in for another nibble on Farah’s neck. I glanced at
Raven who was trying very hard not to wish we could admit what we felt. While lies
were necessary, they weren’t fun.

“I’ll be back,”
Raven said, sliding off the stool and walking to the restroom.

“She’s not
preggers, is she?” Cooper asked.

“No, she drank a
few kegs of watered down fair soda.”

Cooper nodded.
“I feel bad for Lark. She’s miserable. A tiny miserable pregnant chick. Maybe I
should feel bad for Aaron.”

“I saw them at
the fair and she looked fine. Pukey, but they were laughing and wearing
matching shirts again.”

“What the fuck
is that about?” Cooper grunted and Farah laughed.

“My guess?” I
said. “They’re doing it to be obnoxious.”

“It’s working.”

“That’s not
why,” Farah said, grinning. “They’re making fun of me and Cooper because we
showed up in matching denim one time. Everyone was teasing us, but Cooper’s
head was up his ass and he didn’t notice.”

“It’s your job
to alert me when my head isn’t available.”

Farah grinned.
“I didn’t want you to be self-conscious. Besides, you looked really hot that
night and no way was I telling you to dress different. I really liked the
view.”

As Cooper and
Farah fucked with their eyes, I felt like maybe I should get the hose. Glancing
around to avoid watching them stare at each other, I noticed Raven near the
bathroom talking with the asshole who claimed to be her dad.

“Excuse me,
boss. I think I’m about to make a scene.”

Cooper looked at
where Raven and Scott stood. “Have at it.”

Raven had daddy
issues. This was evident by the look on her face as Scott babbled at her.
Normally, she would get in the guy’s face and make him fear for his safety. With
Daddy Dearest, she looked shamed by his bullshit.