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Authors: Joan Hess

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BOOK: Damsels in Distress
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Benny jabbed me in the ribs. “What the hell was that about?”

“Autobiographical, I’m afraid,” I murmured. “Edward told me a couple of weeks ago that he’d come to Farberville to find his father.”

“And he thinks it’s Salvador? This is friggin’ bizarre. What did Salvador say about it?”

“Nothing to me. We may be stretching here. Edward’s ballad could just be about wish fulfillment. The end may be nothing more than fiction. It wouldn’t have been much of a ballad if the gamekeeper had obliged and killed the page. It certainly wouldn’t make the
New York Times
Bestseller Ballad list without a satisfactory conclusion.”

Benny craned his head to look past me. “Where’s Salvador?”

“I have no idea,” I said. “I saw him at the archery range earlier. He didn’t show up at the house at five. Maybe he left.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Glynnis interjected. “He knew that he was expected at the royal table. He is a baron, after all. It’s more likely that he’s collecting arrows that overshot the target and has lost track of the time.”

I didn’t buy that. “And didn’t hear the trumpets when we came here an hour ago, or any of the music since then? He’s not lost in Sherwood Forest, for pity’s sake.”

“I’ll go look for him if he doesn’t show up before too long,” Benny said, then sat back and crossed his arms. “He may have persuaded some lusty wench to wander into the woods with him. He won’t appreciate it if I blunder onto the scene.”

“Or he could have sprained his ankle,” Glynnis said helpfully. “Just like that poor woman who died in the fire. What was her name, William?”

“Angie,” he supplied.

“Yes, Angie,” she continued. “It’s obvious what happened. Unable to walk, she tried to crawl to the front door, but the smoke was so thick that she collapsed on her bedroom floor. She must have been terrified, lying there all alone. And from what I’ve heard, the police have been unable to identify her so they can contact her relatives. How tragic to end up in a pauper’s grave.”

“More likely in a box on a shelf in the medical examiner’s storeroom,” Benny said. “There wasn’t much left of her.”

Glynnis’s eyes watered. “Dreadful, simply dreadful.”

I was about to mumble something comforting when I realized Glynnis was referring to the fairies, who were flittering around the staging area while the musicians played. Clearly no one had choreographed their chaotic attempts to dance. Bodies thudded and toes were trampled. One fairy whacked another with her wand, resulting in a howl of fury. The victim snatched off her attacker’s pointed ear and flung it at the lute players. Hair was yanked. Derrieres landed on the ground. The pirates were standing on their table, shouting encouragement. Eyes in the audience were wide. Parents began dragging children behind the picnic tables. One fairy grabbed my bowl of pudding, scooped out the contents, and squashed them into her opponent’s gaping mouth.

Fiona came out of her stupor and banged on the edge of the table with a spoon. “Girls, stop this! Stop this right now or I’ll-” Tears were racing down her cheeks as she shook Anderson’s shoulder. “Make them stop! You’re the damn duke! Do something!”

Anderson shook his head. “What can I do? You make them stop.”

“They won’t listen to me,” she wailed.

For reasons known only to themselves, the trumpeters decided to add to the fun. This provoked the musicians to play louder. The expletives from the fairies were not of Anglo-Saxon origin. The pirates leaped off the table and stumbled into the melee with their cardboard cutlasses raised. Edward reappeared and began to juggle plates and bowls. A few members of the audience participated by throwing rolls, fruit, and handfuls of pudding.

It was much more entertaining than madrigals, I thought as I watched. Caron and Inez, standing at a prudent distance, seemed to agree with me. Benny was grinning as he gulped down ale. The Threets cowered behind the table. Fiona continued to bang the table and wail. Only Lanya appeared unperturbed. She had not, as best I could tell, so much as twitched since the end of Edward’s ballad. She was gazing not at the combatants, but into the distance. She did not flinch when Anderson shoved back his chair and started thundering for order. I was beginning to wonder if she was breathing when Julius appeared from behind the back wall, tapped her on the shoulder, then bent down and whispered in her ear.

Her reaction was extreme, to put it mildly. She jerked herself to her feet and toppled the table. Dishes, pitchers, and flatware crashed onto the carpet. Her wail outdid Fiona’s best efforts, and was so anguished that everyone fell silent. Fists were retracted. Feet raised to execute well-aimed kicks were lowered. The musicians froze. Edward’s plates and bowls fell to the ground. Fiona’s mouth snapped closed.

“Salvador,” Lanya said brokenly, “is dead.”

Chapter Ten

L
anya buried her face in her hands. Anderson stared at her, then went around the table and pulled Julius aside. The fairies and pirates melted away into the audience, leaving Edward alone in the staging area. His face gnarled with anguish, he crumpled to the ground and hugged his knees. Fiona looked as if she might do the same, but she grabbed the back of a chair and managed to stay on her feet.

“Dead?” Benny said to me, his voice so low I could barely hear him. “What happened to him?”

“How would I know?”

“You think he’s really dead? Is this supposed to be a joke?”

Glynnis glared at him. “If it is, it’s in very bad taste.”

“Oh, yes,” William added, nodding emphatically. “Very bad taste.”

The three of them seemed to expect me to explain the situation. I shrugged, then got up and joined Anderson and Julius. “What’s going on?” I demanded.

“I’m not sure,” Julius said. He looked away and gulped several times as if trying to hold back a gush of acid. Each time his eyes bulged like those of a bullfrog. I inched backward and prayed I would be out of range. He finally rallied enough control to continue. “I was behind the tent, talking to the caterer. One of the students—I don’t know his name—came up and told me that he’d gone down past the archery range to…ah, relieve himself, because the toilets here have been used all day. I couldn’t argue with that since I"—he stopped himself-”anyway, he saw a body on the ground.”

“Is the student sure it was Salvador—and that he was dead?” asked Anderson.

“The kid swears it was.” Julius gulped again, then took a handkerchief from his pocket and mopped his face. “There was a lot of blood, he said, and no doubt that Salvador was dead.”

I frowned. “Some kind of accident?”

It took Julius several seconds to answer. “It wasn’t an accident, unless Salvador found a way to smash the back of his own head with an ax.”

“Oh, God,” Anderson said, shuddering. “You have a cell phone?”

“Not on me, but I told the caterer to call 911. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to throw up.”

Julius went back around the edge of the tent. Anderson and I looked at each other, then he said, “I’d better go find the caterer and call the police myself. They may need directions.” He stopped as Lanya began to wail once again. “I don’t know what to do. I guess I ought to say something so we won’t have a stampede. How could this happen? I feeling like a blithering idiot. What should I say?”

I squeezed his arm. “Announce that there’s been an accident, and everybody needs to stay here until the police arrive. Have the servers refill the pitchers. And please see if you can calm down Lanya. I’ll make the call.”

Benny and the Threets were already hovering over her. Anderson pushed them aside and knelt next to her. Fiona had disappeared, although I doubted she was holding Julius’s head over a bucket. I beckoned to Caron and Inez, then pointed at Edward. They headed toward him
ģ
Satisfied I’d done what I could, I left the pavilion and found the catering van. I ordered the student servers who were huddled nearby to sit down at the picnic tables. The caterer held a cell phone to his ear, and was struggling to talk to the 911 dispatcher while also issuing orders to his assistants. I took the phone and waved him away.

“Do you need directions?” I asked briskly.

“No, ma’am, but I need more information. Now what exactly happened? Is there a doctor with the victim?”

“Good idea,” I said. “I’ll call you back in two minutes.” I carried the phone with me as I went back into the pavilion. I pulled Benny aside. “Ask if there’s a doctor present. If so, take him or her with you and go find Salvador’s body. I’m going to stay here until the ambulance and the police arrive, and then send them to the archery range.”

“That’s where ... ?”

“Either at the range or just beyond it in the woods. One of the students went down there to take a leak and saw the body.”

“He’s sure it’s Salvador?”

“He claims to have recognized him,” I said. “I’d send this student with you, but I don’t know who he is and Julius isn’t going to be much help for a while. Just find out if there’s a doctor, and then go—okay?” I noted that Caron and Inez had gotten Edward to his feet and were guiding him away from the pavilion. I returned to the area by the van and called 911. “All right, I’m back. I can’t answer your questions because I have no idea what happened. How long will it take for the ambulance and police to get here? There are at least a hundred very nervous people.”

“Your name, ma’am?”

“Claire Malloy, if you must know. The victim’s name is Salvador Davis. He was hit on the back of his head with an ax.”

“An ax? Just what’s going on out there?”

“I’m at the Renaissance Fair on the property of Anderson and Lanya Peru, and I’m going to save the explanations for the police when they get here. Oh, and call Sergeant Jorgeson. He’s off duty, but he’ll want to know.”

“Hey, aren’t you the lieutenant’s-”

I cut him off before he could say “meddlesome girlfriend” or other unflattering phrase. “Yes, I am. Now please call Sergeant Jorgeson. I’d give you my number, but I’m on someone’s cell phone and I have no idea what the number is. Presumably you can determine it from your end. Tell the sergeant I’ll keep the phone with me if he wants to call me back. Do you understand?”

“I thought I recognized your name,” the dispatcher said, chortling as if he expected to be praised for his acumen. “You and your daughter must have called us a dozen times last month about a body that kept vanishing. Me and the other guys was going start a pool to guess how many times you’d call, but the captain-”

“Was not amused,” I said, then turned off the phone. I would have slipped it in a pocket, but Renaissance gowns did not offer such conveniences. I considered slipping it in my bodice, then dismissed the idea since it would be less than decorous to have to retrieve it should Jorgeson call.

The audience had been somewhat pacified by fresh pitchers of wine and ale. The fairies and pirates were jammed together at one picnic table. There was a great deal of hissing and sputtering going on, but they kept their voices low. I found Emily and Carrie, and sent them to the gate to make sure the table was moved aside to allow entry to the ambulance and police vehicles. I thought I could hear sirens in the distance, although I might have been deluding myself. Anderson escorted Lanya out of the pavilion. Her face was blotchy, and her entire body was trembling so hard that she was scarcely able to walk, but Anderson had a good grip on her. The musicians and madrigal singers milled about like brightly clad cows. The scene was eerily quiet.

I told William Threet to order the musicians to play anything but “Greensleeves,” then sank onto a chair and rubbed the back of my neck. All afternoon, and up until ten minutes previously, the pasture had been filled with colors, flags, banners, screaming children, activity, noise, and good-natured rowdiness. The transition had been too abrupt. And Salvador was dead, or so we thought. One could certainly do significant damage to one’s body with an ax, but only a contortionist could clobber himself in the back of the head.

Benny put his hand on my shoulder. “The best I could do was a podiartrist. I guess I’ll go by myself to find the body and wait for you and the others. Surely whoever did this to Salvador wouldn’t hang around afterward. That’d be asking to get caught, wouldn’t it? It was probably some homeless guy living down by the creek who got upset by the noise from the fair. A lot of guys getting back from a war zone are like that, you know. Almost psychotic. They have flashbacks, and-”

“I’ll send a couple of the pirates with you, if I can find any that aren’t too drunk to walk.” I went over to the picnic table inhabited by pea-green fairies and flushed buccaneers. Rather than ask for volunteers, I grabbed two of the boys by their collars and yanked them to their feet. They were not eager to oblige, but Benny had made it clear he would have preferred to discuss post-traumatic stress syndrome for an hour rather than go alone.

Once they’d gone, I surveyed the scene. Most of the adults in the audience were looking worried. The children had lost enthusiasm for the music, and were squirming or squabbling. Edward was in no shape to entertain them with juggling and magic tricks. I had no idea where Caron and Inez had taken him, or how he was handling the unexpected and potentially devastating news of Salvador’s death. I wondered if he’d already told Salvador, or planned to surprise him at the banquet. If the latter were true, Edward had certainly climbed out on a limb.

I was pondering this when I finally heard sirens. I went to the tents nearest the entrance and watched an ambulance and several police vehicles bounce across the pasture. Lights continued to flash, but the sirens whined into silence as uniformed officers got out of the cars.

“You the one who called?” demanded one of them.

I acknowledged that indeed I was, explained what little I knew, and gave them directions to drive around the tents, stalls, and battlefield to arrive at the archery range. I did so briskly and with more confidence than I felt, since the layout had seemed like a maze that afternoon.

He stared at my gown, and then at the tents and banners flapping in the breeze. “Is this a play or something? All I can say is it better not be a prank. If it is, you’re gonna be in big trouble.”

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