Dance with Deception: Scandalous Secrets, Book 1 - Exclusive Edition (Scandalous Secrets - Exclusive Edition) (39 page)

He loved her and always would.

Although his parting words to her days ago suggested otherwise, Sebastian still wanted to share his life with her, watching generations grow before their eyes. The thought of their children sent a wave of excitement pulsating within his heart. His wife could very well be carrying his child at this very moment.

Sebastian cursed his stubbornness and downright stupidity but only for a brief moment. He had something more pressing to consider. How the hell was he going to convince Gwen to trust him again, after his many hurtful words and hateful behavior toward her?

Such were the thoughts that energized Sebastian into the early hours of the morning. When his trunk
was packed and his plan of action devised, he sunk into his fluffy mattress fully aware of how empty his bed was without Gwen.

Sebastian turned on his side then smoothed the cold and vacant pillow next to him with the palm of his hand. He loved his wife and he was going to fight for her. No more wasted time. No more hurt feelings. No more sleepless nights apart.

Sebastian would once again court his wife.

This time would be for good.

Sebastian knocked on the door to Ainsley’s day room; however, he didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he opened it and entered the bright room, his stride brusque as he surveyed the interior in search of his wife. He found Gwen seated behind the small antique rosewood writing desk.

“Good morning.” He strolled over to the burgundy sofa that faced his wife then made himself comfortable as he studied her. His heart slammed into his ribs at the familiar sight of her shimmering auburn highlights aglow from the sunlight that streamed through the windows behind her.

It wasn’t until Gwen met his gaze that Sebastian noticed her wan features and the dark circles under her eyes igniting a spark of concern within his heart.

She placed her quill on the desk. “Has no one taught you to wait for approval before entering a room?”

“I didn’t think it necessary. You are, after all, my wife.”

“You remembered, at last,” Gwen said, her tone tinged with reproof. “On the day I am to depart the country, nonetheless. How fitting.”

Between his wife’s stinging retort and the sight of her pale visage, Sebastian’s pulse began to race from concern. He studied a painting that hung above the rosewood fireplace mantle in an attempt
to regain his composure. It depicted a garden aglow with vivid hues that danced across the canvas and reflected sunlight through the many brushstrokes.

“Where’s my butler?” Her tone remained hard.

“Performing the rest of his duties,” Sebastian returned his attention to her. “I told him I would show myself in.”

“Well then, I shall have a talk with him and remind him whose employ he is under.”

“Now, I wouldn’t do that, darling,” Sebastian mused. “We are a happy couple are we not?”

Gwen sighed as she leaned against the high back of her chair. “Is that what we are? Isn’t it funny how something like that can escape my mind?”

At last, the old Gwen had made an appearance. Her teasing comments had been sorely missed.

Sebastian silently surveyed his wife. Even with her brows furrowed, garbed in her black mourning attire and pretending to be repelled by his very presence, she was beautiful beyond words.

“That is why I am here,” he chided. “To remind you who you’re married to.”

She rubbed her temples. “Ah, yes … the charade. Very well, dearest husband, what brings you to me this morning?”

You skipped breakfast,” Concern again settled within his heart at her frail appearance. Her lack of sustenance couldn’t be helping her. “You need to eat. You must keep up your strength.”

“Yes, well, I had a great deal to catch up on before my departure, and besides which I wasn’t hungry.”

“You look exhausted, Gwen.”

Her cold façade crumbled before his eyes. “I am exhausted,” she admitted.

Sebastian ached to touch her, to massage her tension, relieve her grief. He stood and strode to her, placing his hands on her shoulders in an effort to rub the knots of tension from her back and neck.

She flinched from his touch.

“Relax,” he whispered. “All this tension and you haven’t even begun your journey yet.”

Gwen quivered under the warmth of his hands and close proximity of his body. She flushed as she remembered how his hands and mouth had explored her naked form. She still yearned for him, even though their last encounter left her feeling disappointed.

She wanted to stand, to flee from his touch, yet she was far too exhausted to argue with him anymore. Instead, Gwen squeezed her eyes closed, fighting to remain embittered. It was a losing battle, she feared.

“Why are you here?” she asked.

“I’ve already told you—”

“Please let’s drop the pretense. Your sister is nowhere within earshot. Even if she were, we’re not fooling her.” She stood with force then walked in the opposite direction of his warm hands. “You’ve wanted nothing to do with me for days now. Why have you come to me, on this day?”

“I came here with news.”

Her heart sank. He was divorcing her. It was her only explanation for his gentleness. He was trying to soften her before the hard blow.

The color drained from her face.

Sebastian took one step toward her then froze, shame overpowering him. He’d been so selfish, wanting nothing to do with her until his conversation with her brother.

His tone softened. “I’m traveling with you to Scotland.”

Gwen blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“I know what brought about this sudden change of heart and I absolve you of whatever my brother said to you last night.” Her rebuke shamed him further. “I don’t expect you to travel with us.”

“Gwen, it’s a husband’s duty to—”

“Please don’t insult me.” Gwen’s anger caused the color to return to her cheeks. “We both know how you feel about duty, especially when it pertains to me and let’s get one thing straight. I am not your obligation. You owe me nothing.”

Sebastian studied her, his tone strong and sincere. “I don’t see you as an obligation. I never have and never will.”

After slumping onto the sofa, Gwen pressed her fingertips against her temples. Sebastian approached her, kneeling on the carpet in front of his wife before reaching for her hands.

He didn’t restrain the concern in his voice. “When was the last time you slept?”

Gwen’s eyes betrayed the truth. It was when they had made love in the guest wing of this very estate. Sebastian’s heart ached to hold her, to comfort her. Instead, he did the only thing he could think of.

“Lie down on the sofa and try to sleep for a bit. You need to get some rest before we depart,” he instructed her.

He fluffed one of the velvet pillows at the end of the sofa and Gwen laid her head upon it, without further argument.

“I’ll ask Mary to make you something to eat. You need your strength.”

She traced the edge of the sofa with her fingernail, nodding her approval.

“Wait one moment,” Sebastian quipped. “You’ve agreed to do as I say without an argument?”

“Well, if you’d like, I can come up with something to bicker about.” Her tone was blasé. “But, seeing as I currently have a horrible headache, it will have to wait until tomorrow or the day after. Is that satisfactory to you?”

He placed the back of his hand against her forehead. “Are you feverish?”

She managed a weak smile. “No fever. Chilled, in fact.”

Sebastian was quick to shrug his jacket from his shoulders before placing it over his wife’s petite frame. He then brushed a stray curl away from her heart-shaped face.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked in a small voice, almost child-like.

As he knelt beside Gwen, he reached for her hand. It felt cold. He massaged it, infusing his warmth.

“I figured it was past time.”

Gwen’s eyes searched his. “Will you stay with
me?”

Sebastian nodded as Gwen closed her eyes before drifting into a deep slumber within minutes. He held her hand, watching her chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm.

Just as her brother had claimed, Gwen was putting on a brave front. However, for the first time, Sebastian realized how much effort that took her.

In a whisper, he instructed his wife. “You don’t have to be so brave. Lean on me.”

Gwen rolled onto her side, facing the back of the sofa as she snuggled deeper into the warmth of his jacket.

With great care, Sebastian settled his weight upon the sofa, reclining next to her. The subtle shift caused Gwen to stir.

He expected her to pull away from him.

Instead, she rolled into his embrace as she whispered, “I missed you.”

Even the knowledge that she was half-asleep didn’t dampen his soaring spirits. She had missed him; he was certain it was the truth.

Although he’d tried to convince himself on numerous occasions that his wife would return to him, this time was different. This time, he wasn’t going to play games, add sexual tension to the mix and try to convince her that the rest would follow.

Healing Gwen’s broken trust would come first. In return, he would trust her. After all the time he wasted craving his wife’s trust, Sebastian realized that he had never allowed himself to trust her completely, never gave up that tight control of his heart.

He remembered a conversation with his mother months before the Dowager Duchess’ death.

Sebastian, you must learn from your father’s mistakes. One of his biggest was that he never trusted anyone but himself
.

No one? He had questioned. Certainly he trusted you?

No, darling, not even me. You’d think falling in love would be the hard part but in reality that’s easy. Putting your trust in someone is a hundred times more difficult. It can also be the most rewarding
.

Sebastian kissed his sleeping wife’s head then whispered. “I have placed my trust in you, Duchess. My heart is in your hands.”

Gwen stirred.

“Shush.” He smoothed her jasmine-scented curls. “Go back to sleep. We have a long journey ahead of us.”

He held his wife as she snuggled closer to him, slipping back into sweet slumber. Glancing at the high ceiling above, Sebastian prayed in silence to his mother.

Please help me not to say or do anything stupid. Oh, and while you’re at it, please guide Gwen back to me, the sooner the better. Your grandchildren are waiting on us
.

Sebastian had no doubt that his guardian angel, Rachel Montgomery, the Dowager Duchess of Davenport, was moving heaven and Earth to guide her son and daughter-in-law in the right direction.

At their first overnight stay, Sebastian knocked at his wife’s door before bedtime, carrying a plate of food.

“I told you at dinner that I’m not hungry,” his wife insisted.

He offered the covered plate to her. “Humor me.”

“With one provision,” Gwen sighed as she tightened the sash of her fluffy robe around her waist. “You must share it with me. You haven’t eaten much, either.”

“Slave driver,” he teased.

She gave him a sleepy grin. “Do we have a deal?”

Sebastian agreed and they ate together in semi-silence. It was after dinner that Gwen initiated the conversation.

“This afternoon, on the sofa …” She studied him, gauging his response.

Sebastian covered the now-empty plate and waited for her to continue.

“It was the first time I’ve slept since … well,” A pink stain washed over her high cheekbones. She then looked at her hands, which rested in her lap. “Since our night at Ainsley.”

“I’m sorry for that night, Gwen.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not seeking apology.”

Gwen hadn’t wanted the topic to turn to their lovemaking yet once it had, she knew she must clarify her feelings.

“What happened between us that night deeply saddened me,” her eyes searched his for some spark
of understanding as she struggled for the right words. “I missed the tenderness. It is naïve, I know, but I missed hearing you say that you love me.”

Sebastian exhaled, relief flooding him like a strong ocean current. He’d wracked his brain for answers since that night. The one horrible fear that kept returning to him was that his wife didn’t want to be intimate with him, that he repulsed her.