Dancing Through Life (15 page)

Even though we still had the finale show to go through the very next night, I felt like I had already won. I had far exceeded my own personal goals and expectations for the show and I had pushed through fears, frustrations, pain, and roadblocks. I felt like fist-pumping and shouting out a “Whoop! Whoop!” I had pushed myself further than I ever thought I could and I felt like I’d already crossed the finish line.

Paul must have known a thing or two about difficult races.

In 1 Corinthians 9:24–27 he writes:

Don’t you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize. Now everyone who competes exercises self-control in everything. However, they do it to receive a crown that will fade away, but we a crown that will never fade away. Therefore I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air. Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

Paul points out an obvious reality. Competitive runners all run the race knowing that only one of them can win first place. Since there can be only one first-place winner, perhaps it’s not the medal or crown that matters most, but how we run the race. Paul encourages us not to be aimless (v. 26), like a boxer beating the air, but to run with purpose, keeping the prize at the forefront of our minds.

Paul wasn’t talking about marathon running here. The race is our lives. Whether we are triathletes or couch potatoes, we’re all running the race. But what are we running toward, exactly? Paul says to race toward an “imperishable” crown. We’ve traded in leafy crowns for gold medals for Olympic athletes, so the imagery Paul is using here can fly right over our heads. But the Bible promises specific imperishable crowns for those who surrender their lives to Christ. They are:

• The crown of rejoicing (1 Thess. 2:19)
  
• The crown of righteousness (2 Tim. 4:8)
  
• The crown of glory (1 Pet. 5:4)
  
• The crown of life (Rev. 2:10)
  

These are awards only God can give. He doesn’t hand them out for perfect ballroom dances or mirrorball trophies. They are the awards given to those who live their lives for Him. Remember the qualifications for heroes given in Hebrews 11:1–2? “Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. For our ancestors won God’s approval by it.”

The winners in God’s kingdom are the runners who put their trust in Him. When we stop running aimlessly toward the prizes the world offers and start running headlong toward God, we exchange perishable prizes for the imperishable.

If the goal of marriage is to be happy, we will find that carrot constantly out of reach. Ultimately, our marriages can glorify God and paint a picture of the gospel. If we are trying to keep up with the Joneses, we will never satisfy our craving for more, but if the purpose of our lives and our stuff is to love like Jesus did, we will find that we have all that we need. If we just work for a paycheck, our job will be unsatisfying, but if we do all things for God’s glory, we can persevere with grace and joy. See how that works? When we stop chasing after the things that cannot last, we are freed up to race toward things that are eternal.

I knew that God had chosen this opportunity for me. Along the way He exposed many perishable crowns that I had been racing toward: approval, perfection, applause. As He gently nudged me to lay them down, He offered an exchange. I could trade in approval addiction for the crown of glory He freely offered me. I could stop trying to be perfect and pick up the crown of righteousness. I could exchange fear of man for rejoicing. I could swap my will for His will and be given the crown of life.

A Grand Finale

I already felt like I’d won, but I still had to take my victory lap. I was shocked to find myself standing among the final three. The ride was almost over, but there was still work to be done. Immediately following the show on Monday, we were rushed back to the rehearsal studio to learn our final dance. We were allowed to practice from nine to midnight and our professional dancers choreographed new routines on the fly. We had three hours to learn a new dance and prepare to perform it during the live finale the following night.

Because of our extreme circumstances over the previous two days with Mark’s injuries, my emotional and mental levels had hit their limit. I was too exhausted and tapped out to wrap my brain around learning a routine that very night so the producers allowed me to go home and get some sleep with the stipulation that I would be back at the rehearsal studio at 6:00 a.m. the following morning and would be deducted one hour of practice time, having two hours instead of three. I happily agreed, although Mark wasn’t too thrilled. As always, he was a trooper and before I knew it, it was time for my final twirl around the
DWTS
stage.

As I waited for the show to start, I was absolutely overcome with emotion. It was mind-boggling for me to realize that something I had dreamed about for nine years had actually happened and was now coming to an end and what a ride it had been! It was beyond gratifying and yet there was also a big part of me that didn’t actually want to win. My mom and my sister came to visit me in my dressing room right before the show and I burst into tears. I told them that I didn’t want to come in first and asked them to pray with me that I would come in third.

In the weeks before the finale I had received thousands of comments on social media saying that I didn’t deserve to make it this far. Whether I did or didn’t, the words hurt, they made me feel guilty for beating out some of my other competitors we all knew were better dancers than me. I didn’t want to face any more of that scrutiny. I knew that Meryl was the best dancer in the competition and that Amy was a close second with her truly inspiring story, and I wanted them to win because they were so deserving of the title. It wasn’t a cop-out or a way of not feeling disappointed if I didn’t win. Third place on
DWTS
truly was like winning the Stanley Cup, World Series, or the Super Bowl to me. I had far exceeded my own expectations and what I wanted to accomplish and would walk away feeling great no matter what. So after my samba fusion dance to Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke” with a total combined score of 78 to Amy Purdy’s 89 and Meryl Davis’s 90, I was announced as the third place winner and was over the moon! I was so proud of myself for accomplishing all that I did. I think that the first-, second-, and third-place winners were chosen exactly as they should have been, and I was thrilled with how it turned out.

Fought the Good Fight

Immediately following the finale, the final four couples (James and Peta, Mark and me, Meryl and Maks, Amy and Derek), as well as four troupe dancers (Sasha, Artem, Lindsey, and Jenna), all hopped on a private jet and flew to New York City. We walked right off our plane and onto the set of
Good Morning America
followed by a series of other talk shows and follow-up press interviews. It was a whirlwind trip, one I’ll never forget, especially with the group of people I’d come to know and love and who have become great friends. Amy, Mark, and I reminisced about our last night as we watched back the finale episode on my laptop together at our hotel. What a ride!

Soon enough I was back home in L.A. with my family. I traded in my dance costumes for my jeans and T-shirts, private jets for the carpool line.

Crossing the Finish Line

If we look at the Word, we see that Paul knew what it was like to be jostled between the ordinary and the extraordinary. In 2 Timothy, Paul is writing a letter to his friend and fellow missionary, Timothy. The context of the letter is that Paul was writing it from jail; this was his farewell letter to a friend he had experienced so much with.

In 2 Timothy 4:7 we find Paul using running to describe his faith once again. He says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

I can almost see the relief on Paul’s face as he wrote those words. The race was tough. It didn’t come without hardship and heartache, but he had persevered. He could cross the finish line with his head high, because he never faltered in his faith.

I felt the same relief. I had done it! I fought the good fight. I finished the race. I kept the faith. My faith had carried me through deep valleys and steep peaks. As the roller coaster finally pulled into the station, God’s faithfulness on the ride blew me away.

Yep, my
Dancing with the Stars
journey was over, but I still had a race to run. It was time to get back to the business of being a wife, mom, and actress. With renewed passion and courage to stand with conviction, I wanted to race to win the imperishable crowns in every area of my life.

Chapter 12

“If you keep silent at this time, liberation and
deliverance will come to the Jewish people from
another place, but you and your father’s house will
be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come
to your royal position for such a time as this.”

—Esther 4:14

A
powerful man. A secret plot. A narcissistic mastermind. A beautiful woman. An elaborate beauty pageant.

Nope, these aren’t the elements of the latest script I’m working on. These are the real-life details of Esther’s life. Her story is told in just ten short chapters in the Old Testament book of Esther. If you’ve never read it, I hope you’ll grab a Bible and do so now. Be prepared for action, adventure, intrigue, romance, and plenty of plot twists! If you are familiar with Esther’s story, I hope you’ll take a moment and read it again. There’s gold in them thar hills!

Esther’s story came to life for me several years ago while studying Beth Moore’s study
Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman
. Since then, Esther has become one of my favorite books of the Bible and my hero. Did you know that the name of God isn’t even mentioned in the book of Esther? It’s true! Even so, the hand of God is an unmistakable theme in Esther’s story.

Let me take a moment to hit the highlights of Esther’s story. Trust me, you don’t want to skim this!

Esther was a Jew. At the moment in history when Esther’s story is told, the Jews were in exile under the authority of foreign kings. Esther was an orphan, being raised by her cousin, Mordecai. They lived in the Persian capital of Susa under the rule of King Ahasuerus (also known as King Xerxes I).

The king threw a lavish party and tried to get his wife, Queen Vashti, to parade in front of his drunk friends. Vashti knew what it meant to stand with conviction, too, and refused the king’s request. The king’s advisors told him that if his own wife stood up to him in this way, wives across his kingdom would soon defy their husbands. Something had to be done! So Vashti was dethroned and banished. But this created another problem for the king. He had no queen.

Soon, an elaborate search for Vashti’s replacement began. Young, beautiful women from throughout the kingdom were gathered and brought to the capital. There, they went through twelve months of beauty treatments to make them ready for the king. Talk about a spa day! Finally, each woman was brought to the king so that he could pick his favorite.

The king loved Esther more than all the other women. She won more favor and approval from him than did any of the other young women. He placed the royal crown on her head and made her queen in place of Vashti. (Esther 2:17)

How did a young Jewish orphan become the queen to one of the most powerful men in the world? God arranged it! Scripture is clear that it was because of God’s favor, not because of Esther’s beauty, or wits, or riches that she was chosen as queen. God had an assignment for her that went well beyond picking out wedding china.

The king’s advisor, Haman, had crafted an elaborate plan to annihilate the Jews, not knowing that Esther was one of them. He had successfully convinced the king to send out an edict that all of the Jews—men, women, and children—were to be killed on the same day and their belongings plundered. To be continued . . .

Judging by Esther’s actions, I’d say that she and I have the same goal: to glorify God in everything we do. Esther knew what it was like to stand with conviction. She had an unwavering commitment to honor God and love His people. As a result, Esther left an incredible legacy. Thousands of years after Esther took a bold stand for God, the Jewish people still observe Purim, a traditional feast designed to celebrate what God does through dedicated and willing servants like Esther.

Esther is my hero! Talk about being willing to risk it all!

I may have danced and witnessed to twenty-five million viewers each week, but the entire Jewish population within 127 provinces stretching from India to Cush was in Esther’s hands. If she was going to stand with conviction, the stakes would be sky high. In fact, in order to do what she knew was right, Esther had to risk her life. To go to the king without being summoned was an offense punishable by death. But Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, urged her to take the risk.

The most known verse from Esther became significant to me as my life verse. This is Mordecai’s desperate plea for Esther to stand up for what she believes despite the cost.

If you keep silent at this time, liberation and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father’s house will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this. (Esther 4:14)

When I was doing Beth Moore’s study on Esther, this particular verse popped off the page even though I had read it many times before. Suddenly I saw me in Esther’s story. It was as if God was saying to me,
Candace, if you remain silent about Me in the entertainment industry, relief and deliverance for all people will arise from another place. My will will be accomplished, just through another source. But you and your father’s family will perish. (Meaning you, Candace, and your legacy that I could leave through you and your family won’t happen.) And who knows but that you, Candace, have come to a royal position
(Hollywood is kind of considered American royalty, isn’t it?)
for such a time as this? You, Candace, right here, right now. The choice is yours.

While Esther’s story is certainly remarkable, it’s not all that unique in some ways. At some point, we all come to a line in the sand where we make one of two choices. We will either stand with conviction, living out what we believe regardless of consequences, or we will bend to the whims of others and of culture, shaping and reshaping our beliefs in an attempt to fit in.

I know where I want to land. I want to be a woman of conviction! I want my beliefs formed through God’s Word and His Spirit in me to be the rudder that steers my entire life rather than living aimlessly for the approval of the crowd.

Freshman Psychology

Lets take a quick detour to freshman-level Psychology for a minute. Today’s lecture is on the Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. (Don’t worry. There will not be a quiz and I promise it’ll be quick!)

Cognitive Dissonance Theory states that we all have an inner drive to hold our attitudes and beliefs in harmony. We want what we believe to make sense and instinctively work to avoid disharmony (or dissonance).
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If you’re thinking,
Wait a minute! Can we get back to that juicy story about the beauty queen whose people were on the edge of destruction?
Don’t worry, stick with me! Esther knew about cognitive dissonance, even if she didn’t know to call it that.

We tend to look at the world around us and try to make what we see line up with what we already believe. Cognitive Dissonance Theory says that because of this, our
actions change what we believe
instead of allowing our
beliefs to change our actions.
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But this is not how God calls us to live!

Ephesians 5:15 urges, “Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise.”

The wisdom of God that I have access to through His Word should change the way I live. I should move from someone who is unwise, thinking of things in a way that do not line up with God’s Word to a woman of wisdom, thinking more and more like God does and learning to live more and more like He calls me to!

James 1:22 calls us to do more than just read the Bible. We are even supposed to do more than simply believe it. God asks us to let what we believe change how we live: “But be doers of the word and not hearers only.”

Even though I still have so much to learn, I know what I believe.

• I believe God created me.
  
• I believe that God has a purpose for me.
  
• I believe that His Word is truth.
  
• I believe that God has called me to be salt and light in a dark world.
  

Those beliefs are true whether they feel like they are or not. They are true even when living them out is uncomfortable for me and others. I want those beliefs to shape how I live instead of letting how I live shape what I believe.

Esther must have had the same conviction. If you are on pins and needles waiting to hear the end of Esther’s story, take a deep breath. Esther risked everything, including her own life, by approaching the king. She asked him to dinner, another bold move for a girl in Old Testament Persia! He agreed and on that high stakes date, Esther asked the king to spare her people. He did! Haman’s wicked plot was exposed. He and his sons were hanged and the Jews were spared. For the icing on the cake, Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, was given Haman’s distinguished position in the kingdom. Because of Esther’s bold move, many people throughout the kingdom of Persia turned their lives over to God.

In every province and every city, wherever the king’s command and his law reached, joy and rejoicing took place among the Jews. There was a celebration and a holiday. And many of the ethnic groups of the land professed themselves to be Jews because fear of the Jews had overcome them. (Esther 8:17)

The Ripple Effect

When we stand with conviction, people will notice! This is the remarkable ripple effect of standing up for what we believe.

Since my time on
DWTS
, I am recognized more by fans when I’m out and about. I have a lot more people who follow my influence on social media, which I consider a huge part of my ministry. I’ve noticed that people really know me for my faith as well as my acting. (And that’s really cool!) God chose a huge platform for Esther and then used His influence to accomplish His purposes. Many, many lives were impacted because Esther lived a life of courage and conviction. One of the cool things
DWTS
has done for me, is that it has given me an even larger platform to continue to encourage others in Jesus Christ. This isn’t something new for me. I’ve done this regardless of the number of people I share with. When I decided to put my career on hold for ten years to be a full-time stay-at-home mom, my platform to share my faith with others wasn’t any less important, it was just different. It may have been with a neighbor, the check-out gal at the grocery store, the person sitting next to me on an airplane or a new participant at church. Sharing my testimony and my faith in Jesus is a priority to me no matter how many people are listening. It’s changed now in the fact that more people know me, know what I stand for, and know that I am a woman who wants to please the Lord.

After
DWTS
, I was in Vancouver shooting the first of several movies for the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries Channel in the Aurora Teagarden series. Typically each film has a new crew I work with that I’m not familiar with. I love getting to know new people and have an opportunity to make new friendships and work with talented people in their field. Does everyone know who I am, in the
Full House
sense? Mostly, yes, but not everyone, not always. But this time it felt a little different. Having just come off
DWTS
, I believe more people had a new perspective of me. I was reintroduced into their living room weekly on prime-time network TV, not that I’d gone anywhere . . . but if you don’t have cable or watch all 500+ channels, you may have missed me.

With that said, the first day I walked on set was typical, introducing myself and meeting the crew I’d spend fourteen hours a day with for the next three weeks. On the second day, I noticed that when I walked into my trailer (which serves as my dressing room and resting place between scenes) the Christian band Third Day was playing on the radio. I immediately noticed and thought how cool that a Christian Top 40 song was on a pop radio station. Then the next song played and it was Chris Tomlin, another Christian singer. The Christian music just kept coming and I realized the station that was turned on was the local Christian station, which warmed my heart. I wondered if it was a fluke or if someone purposely set it there for me.

Later that morning, the head of the transportation department asked me, “Was the heat turned up and warm enough for you this morning in your room?” I said, “Yes, it was perfect! Thank you,” and then I said, “Did you turn on the radio this morning too?” He said, “Yes, I did. I thought you’d like that station. It’s my favorite one too,” and gave me a little wink and a nod (code for: I’m a Christian too!). In all my years of working in entertainment, that was a first. My faith preceded me. He knew I was a Christian before I even got there and wasn’t afraid to let me know he was too. I LOVED that!

Another instance while filming a movie soon after
DWTS
, I had a personal transportation driver from the crew that would take me to and from the set from my hotel. Sometimes the drive would be twenty minutes, sometimes an hour. I usually take the time to go over and memorize my lines for the day, make phone calls to Val and the kids, answer some e-mails, and read my Bible if I didn’t wake up early enough to do it before I left. When I pull out my Bible, it’s rare that someone doesn’t ask me about it. I guess not as many people bring their Bible to work everyday in the entertainment industry as you’d think! LOL. If someone asks about it, I stop and know the door is open for conversation and I’m all over it! On one movie, I read the book of Esther aloud to my assistant/driver on the way to work most mornings and we talked through each chapter (after we had talked about faith and the Bible and if it was something she’d like to hear, which she openly said yes to).