Dancing with Molly (4 page)

It's not that I feel unworthy of a hot date, right? I mean, it's probably that I'm just a realist, right? I'm the conventional girl who likes the clarinet and marching band and doesn't cheat on my science fair experiments. (That display for the science fair Ashley was getting out of the trunk? I'm pretty sure my mom paid this graphic designer at her office to put it all together.) Anyway, guys like Carson don't ask girls like me to prom. Do they? I mean, obviously not, because he's going with a girl from his church, but I'm just talking theoretically. If he didn't already have a date, boys of Carson's caliber go for the pretty blond girls like my sister.

At least that's what I think. So why do I think that? Is it
one of those things like Jess announcing she's having a flirtation with a girl? Have I just been programmed to think that it's not “normal”? That somehow it goes against the Natural Order of the World for Carson to like me instead of Ashley?

Jesus. I'm a psycho. Why am I even wasting time thinking about this?

ENOUGH.

We had Family Movie Night tonight. Usually those words strike fear in my heart, because that means we have to watch whatever romantic comedy abomination has recently caught Ashley's or Mom's attention. Thankfully, it was Dad's turn to pick the movie, and he decided on this cool spy movie that was based on a novel. I really had to pay attention to keep up with it because it wasn't all stuff blowing up. It was really stylish—all about British intelligence in the seventies and eighties.

I was so engrossed in this movie that I missed a text message from Jess:

SAT: U+ME--->KELLY'S HOUSE

I texted her back and said:

I am not making out with you two.

Jess:

Fine. U R the 1 missing out. LOL.

She also texted me that Brandon and Pete are coming, and that Kyle, Kelly's brother will be there with “party favors.” I told her I wasn't going to become a burnout. She wrote back:

WHATEVS.

This should be interesting.

Oh.

My.

God.

What I have just endured is cruel and unusual. If Jess hadn't scheduled something for tonight, I might just get into my car and drive in a straight line until I ran off a bridge, or into a ditch, or straight up a mountain.

It is currently six o'clock in the evening. I have been shopping
for prom dresses with my mother and sister for the past EIGHT HOURS. EIGHT (8) HOURS. We have been to TWO (2) different malls, and THREE (3) additional stores not housed in a mall.

To make matters worse, I found my dress at the first store we visited. It is a slim black sheath that comes to just above my knees. There is a short kick split at the back and the whole thing is this really fun woven fabric that looks like raw silk, so it has a sheen, but it's also stretchy, so it clings and gives in all the right places. If I'm going to endure this prom, I'm at least going to be comfortable. The dress is strapless except for this small wave of shiny sheer fabric that sort of splashes up over my shoulder. It doesn't really act as a functional strap, but it's just there for some drama and flair. It's totally sophisticated but still fun.

Of course my mother HATES IT.

She kept trying to get me to try on these big mermaid gowns in bizarre clown colors. In fact, she wouldn't even let me get it the first time we were at the store. She made me put it on hold until we'd done some more shopping. I mean, WHO DOES THAT? Who CARES about shopping? If you find the dress you want, BUY IT AND GO HOME. Mom was like, Oh no! You can't buy the first dress you like at the first store! You have to try on TWENTY MILLION OTHER DRESSES.

I was like, But why? I like THIS dress. THIS is the dress that I want.

She spent hours—literally HOURS—trying to convince me to try on other dresses. Finally, I just started doing it because I realized I was doomed for the entire day. Ashley was trying on all these gigantic gowns with sequins and feathers and bows and trains. I decided to play a game. Every time we went to a store, I'd look for the ugliest dress I could find, and go try it on. Then, when I came out, my mother would try to convince me that THIS (horrifyingly ugly) dress was the BEST DRESS EVER. SO much better than that first dress I tried on.

It got to the point that I was laughing so hard that even Ashley started cracking up. I was wearing a chartreuse mermaid dress. First of all, I should never wear any color in the bright yellow family. I have brown hair and pale skin, and it makes me look like I am dying of a rare blood disease. Furthermore, this particular “gown” was covered in rhinestones and bugle beads. It felt like I was wearing mermaid armor. Mom COULD NOT STOP talking about how beautiful it was. I finally turned to Ashley and said, ARE YOU HEARING THIS? She looked at me and we just both cracked up laughing.

I think this pissed Mom off a little, but my GOD.

Finally, Ashley settled on a dress. She is going full-bore
princess. Pink tulle for daaaaaaaaays. Whatever, she seems to be really pleased with it. Mom bitched about my dress all the way back to the first store, and all the way home. I don't care. I love it.

And thank GOD Jess planned something tonight. I love my mom. Really I do. She just drives me CRAZY, and after today, I need some space.

Okay, I guess the headline here is that I did another tab of ecstasy. It's weird because I told Jess that I wasn't going to do any on Friday night, and then, I dunno . . . at some point, while I was shopping with my mom and Ashley yesterday, I realized that I was really looking forward to going over to Kelly's with Jess, but like in a way that was more excited than just getting to go to her house and hanging out. I think I was excited about the possibility of doing more ecstasy. This started to dawn on me when I got to Kelly's house—which, by the way, is gigantic—and saw that Brandon's SUV was there. I rang the doorbell and Kelly answered and took me upstairs to meet her mother, who is the TINIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD. I mean, this woman is smaller than Kelly is. I didn't even know that was possible. She is very sweet, and she was setting out plates of food
for us, and Kelly kept telling her she didn't have to, and she kept smiling at me and offering me food.

Eventually Kelly dragged me off to what I later learned was her and her brother's wing of the house. Yes. Wing. They have a whole wing. Their house is this big, modern thing that sort of looks like an airport. Or an airplane. It has a central entrance, kitchen and living space, a giant open room with whole walls of glass windows that go floor to ceiling, and then on the left side of the house are her parents' bedroom and offices on the upper level, and guest rooms on the lower level. On the right side of the central area are Kelly's and Kyle's rooms upstairs, and then downstairs, a giant sitting area and bar area that is really a full kitchen. There's a fireplace, and the whole back wall of their house is glass, too. It looks out onto a big pool and hot tub. The sliders on the lower level open all the way up and disappear into storage compartments.

When we got downstairs, Jess and Brandon were playing pool while Pete was mixing a cocktail at the bar. Jess looked up and saw the look on my face, which was one of the “holy shit” variety. She laughed, and Kelly acted all embarrassed. I said, Jesus! What does your dad do? Kelly was sort of sheepish, but she said that he runs a big manufacturing company that finds factories to make parts for companies like Apple and Samsung.
She told me he goes to Japan and China for months at time, and is there now.

Kelly said she had to go talk to her brother for a minute and while Jess and Brandon were shooting pool, Pete slid me a vodka tonic with a lime squeezed into it, and then made himself one. He said, Sure am glad you're here tonight. I said, Why? And then I whispered, Oh wait. Do you guys have more ecstasy? And for just a split second he frowned, and it was almost like I'd hurt his feelings. He said, Nah, I just liked hanging out with you the other night.

There was something sweet about this, but I didn't really think about it much because at the time I was disappointed that he and Brandon hadn't brought any ecstasy. I guess I'd secretly hoped that there would be some, despite what I told Jess. I took a sip of the drink, which was strong, and just as I was taking another drink I heard Kelly say, Don't drink too much of that!

When I turned around, Jess glanced over at me and then at Kelly, who was grinning like she'd gotten away with something. Jess said, NO WAY! And Kelly laughed and said, Told ya. Brandon asked what they were talking about, and Kelly said, My brother found some E. Pete frowned and said, Cool, but where are we gonna do that? Kelly told him that we could do it right here, right now. Pete asked if that wasn't going to be a little
difficult with her mom around. Kelly assured him that after we went upstairs and ate all the food she'd laid out for us that her mom would retire to her wing of the house with a book and a glass of red wine, and we'd have the run of the place. Plus, she said, Kyle is in his room upstairs working on a paper he has due this week. He promised me to keep an eye out for Mom. She's generally pretty clueless.

The idea of doing an illegal drug under the nose of somebody's parent who was in the other room seemed crazy to me, but Kelly wasn't kidding. After we ate a bunch of food upstairs, her Mom thanked all of us for coming, poured a glass of wine, and headed down the long hallway, closing the door to the main area of the house behind her. Kelly's house was an awesome place to roll. It's so sleek and white. The light from the fire was beautiful and the pool and hot tub glowed outside like an alien ship had landed in the backyard.

The tabs Kelly got from Kyle were pink this time and had little plus signs stamped on them. The high was different too. It wasn't quite as speedy as the tabs we dropped last week at Jess's house. We didn't spend as much time dancing, and I didn't grind my teeth or clench my jaw quite as much. In fact, I didn't even realize I was feeling mine for a while. I was just lying on the couch in front of the fireplace for a while. Pete sat down
next to me and we were talking for a long time while Jess and Kelly and Brandon played pool. Then, finally, I realized that I'd been quiet for a while and Pete was stroking his hand through my curly hair, which was splayed out across the couch. When I rolled over and looked at him, the light from the fire shot tracers out across my peripheral vision, and when I sat up, I had to take several deep breaths as the waves of pleasure crashed over me hard and fast.

This time, instead of gum, Kelly got Otter Pops out of the fridge. The cold, sweet grape Popsicle against my tongue felt like magic. We took the Otter Pops out to the pool and sat with our feet in the water. Kelly lit the gas fire feature and after a little while the guys both peeled off their shirts and jeans and jumped into the pool in their boxers. The water was heated and warm enough that they said it felt incredible. I believed them and while Jess and Kelly hung out on the outdoor furniture next to the dancing gas flames, I pulled off my shirt and jeans and stood on the edge of the pool in my bra and panties.

Even writing that sentence right now makes me blush. I am NOT an exhibitionist and I can't even tell you how MORTIFIED I would be to have anyone just stare at me in my underwear, but Brandon and Pete were both in the water, looking at me standing there in the moonlight, and Pete let out
a little whistle, and I actually threw my head back and laughed. Something about this drug, I'm not even sure I can explain. In that moment, with the air on my skin, and my own curly hair sending sparks down my back as it cascaded over my shoulders, I felt . . . beautiful. I felt like my body was connected to everything around me—the sky, the stars, the water, the ground, the guys in the pool. My eyes went a little wiggly, and I took a deep breath as I felt my insides being lifted by a swell of pure joy. I was standing in my underwear on the side of a pool in an incredibly gorgeous place and I felt like I was a part of that loveliness. And the boys in the pool? I could tell from their reactions—from the sounds they were making and the looks on their faces—that they thought I was lovely, too.

I felt more than just good, or happy, or excited. I felt powerful.

I jumped into the pool and it was the most delicious feeling, the warm water sucking me in and then down. I stayed under for as long as I could and then broke the surface right in front of Pete. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. I wrapped my legs around him and felt him pull me in toward him. We started kissing and his mouth against mine was even better than the Popsicle.

After a while, I heard the music wafting out of the open sliding doors, and splashed Pete a little, then swam to the edge of
the pool and climbed out. I saw that Jess and Kelly were dancing inside next to the fireplace. Pete was trying to get me to come back into the pool, but I walked over to the hot tub instead and stepped down into it. The edge of the hot tub spilled into the pool, and Brandon and Pete swam over to it and then pulled themselves out of the pool and into the hot tub.

Before I knew what was happening, I was kissing Pete again, and then I felt another set of lips on my shoulder. Behind me, Brandon was kissing the back of my neck, and my ear, and eventually, I turned around and kissed him full on the mouth. He had some scruff that tickled my cheeks and made me smile. He wasn't as aggressive as Pete was—his kisses were definitely different.

Okay. I have to stop here and just note for the record that I would never in a million years want to make out with Brandon. I mean, Pete was one thing. Pete is sort of tall and cute and dopey. But Brandon? I don't even think he's cute. I mean, he's a nice guy, but oh my god. Am I like the easiest ecstasy girl EVER? I cannot keep doing ecstasy and making out with random dudes. I said this to Jess this morning as we were leaving Kelly's to come home and she pointed out that it wasn't a random dude, it was Brandon, who we've known since sixth grade. I know she was trying to make me feel better, but that sort of made it worse somehow.