Darcy's Temptation (20 page)

“It is Fitzwilliam, is it not?” Elizabeth's eyes searched Ashford's face for the truth.

Ashford took her hands in his. “Mr. Howard writes he found Mr. Darcy's carriage north of Hemswell. A robbery obviously occurred. The road is one not often traveled, but, evidently, looters stripped the coach of anything of value, including Mr. Darcy's personal belongings.The coachman and postilion were both dead. There was no sign of Mr. Darcy, however. Mr. Howard and the men organized a search of the surrounding villages and woods. He plans to question those he finds about what they may know. Mr. Howard made arrangements to ship the bodies home for a proper burial.”

“Fitzwilliam is not dead,” Elizabeth said softly.

“Mr. Howard writes he hopes to know more over the next few days.” Mr.Ashford expected Mrs. Darcy to break into tears, but instead she stared off as if seeing images.

“My husband is not dead.” She reached out to lightly caress the cleric's cheek.“Fitzwilliam is alive.”

“Mrs. Darcy, we sincerely hope you are right, but Mr. Howard's letter does not offer much hope. You must be prepared to face the possibility of Mr. Darcy's untimely demise.” Ashford knew people often denied their hurt in such situations.“Would you like me to pray with you, Mrs. Darcy?”

“Mr. Ashford, I do not wish to seem unrepentant, but my prayers are already answered. I knew as much for several days if I just listened to my heart. I felt Fitzwilliam's pain, but of late I felt his peacefulness. He may be hurt, but my husband is not dead. He speaks to me in my dreams.”

Ashford pleaded, “Mrs. Darcy, please let me help you.”

“I will not hear of it, Mr. Ashford.” Elizabeth leveled her best Darcy stare on the man. “If my husband were dead, there would be a body. If Fitzwilliam lives, I am content to wait for his return.”

“If it is acceptable, I remain at Pemberley in case you, Miss Darcy, or Miss Bennet may need my services?” Ashford looked a bit confused by her insistence.

“You are always welcome, Mr. Ashford.” Elizabeth actually smiled.“Thank you for coming to us today.” She stood, the enigmatic smile flitting across her face.“You are most welcomed.”

 

“Miss Bennet,” Ashford spoke softly to Kitty, “your sister seeks comfort where none may exist.”

“Elizabeth is the strongest and the most realistic of us,” Kitty assured him. “If she believes Mr. Darcy is alive, I do not doubt her. I never saw two people so in love—so connected—if my sister says Mr. Darcy speaks to her in her dreams, I would believe her if I were you, Sir.”

“Do you truly believe such a love can exist?”

“Many would tell you such a love could only exist in the pages of a novel, but there is not a woman alive who does not believe in the possibility of finding her great love. My sister is fortunate to be loved by Mr. Darcy.”

“What of you, Miss Bennet?” Ashford suddenly felt inadequate. “Do you wish for such a love, too?”

“I want a husband who treats me with respect and listens to my simple ramblings without tiring of me. Mr. Darcy once told me when he kissed Elizabeth for the first time, it was like coming home. Any woman would wish to affect her husband as such.”

During this, Kitty did not realize Ashford moved closer to her. When she turned her head, Ashford's mouth was only inches from hers.“Miss Bennet,” he stammered,“please forgive me.” He caressed her jaw line.

Kitty whispered,“For what should I offer forgiveness?”

“For this.” Ashford lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss lasted only a few elongated seconds, but the tantalizing tingle both felt when he withdrew stayed with them. Their eyes locked, and their breathing came in short bursts. “Katherine,”
he whispered as his thumb stroked her cheek.“I want to be the man you love.”

Kitty thought of the difference in the kiss she described to Mr. Darcy earlier and the one she just experienced. “Clayton,” she offered him a teasing smile,“I never knew you were so romantic.”

“You bring out the best in me.” Ashford gifted her with a smile of his own.

Kitty held back a sigh; Clayton Ashford confused her.Was he shy? Evidently, that was not an accurate estimation. His piety could be questioned at times also.The man, obviously, cared for her, but Kitty could not be sure of her own feelings although she would not let him know. Mr. Ashford could be her last chance. He was a good man, a gentle man—a gentleman—and she would learn to love.At least, he was amiable.

She said at last,“You seem very pleased, Sir.”

“You do please me, Miss Bennet.”

Kitty worried she might be seen by Ashford as being too forward. She did not want Lydia's reputation to follow her so she said,“We should really stop this, Sir.”

Her caution bothered him; Ashford nodded his agreement and looked away in disgust. “I apologize for overstepping the bounds of propriety, Miss Bennet. Hopefully, you will see it in your heart to forgive me.” Humiliated by his actions, he turned his back on Kitty and stepped away from her.

Suddenly, Kitty realized Ashford felt ashamed of what had happened. His shoulders hunched forward, withdrawing inward with his censure. Not wishing to lose this thoroughly delightful moment, she came up behind him, touching his shoulder. He turned to look at her hand on his arm, not sure what it meant. Kitty looked up into his eyes. “Did I do something to offend you, Mr.Ashford?”

“It is I who offered offense.” He looked saddened by what he had done.

“You offered me no offense. It seems I might be a bit susceptible to you,” she teased, but blushed from her own forwardness.

Ashford tried to reason with himself before he spoke again. Having her touch his arm sent shards of longing through him. He knew as the spiritual leader of the community he should not be acting as such, but Kitty Bennet's presence was of all he thought. “When I heard the news of Mr. Darcy,” he choked out the words,“I realized I could lose you, Miss Bennet, before I ever knew the pleasure of kissing you. It was a thoroughly selfish idea, which I tried desperately to resist, but even I could not ignore your words of desiring a great love.” Ashford's eyes searched Kitty's face for her reaction to his words. “Please tell me you could learn to love me.”

“I do not have to learn to love you, Mr. Ashford. I already do.” Kitty said the words as if she meant them, trying to convince herself as much as him. The words brought the desired response from Ashford, as they visibly shot through him, he crushed her to him, holding her head to his chest and whispering words of endearment.

“Katherine, my beautiful vivacious Katherine,” he whispered into her hair. “You gave me the greatest gift a man could receive.”

Kitty sighed, thinking this man's depth of feeling scared her and exhilarated her at the same time. One moment he took on a serious mien, and the next he violated propriety, and as the community's religious leader, his violating propriety seemed almost amusing. Obviously, he wanted only her assurance she could love him.That, Kitty could easily do.
The man loves you,
she told herself.
He needs you; you will learn to need him, too.

Sounds of others in the hallway forced them apart, and Ashford moved away to the window to conceal the emotional ride he just took.

“Mr. Ashford,” Kitty hissed. He looked back over his
shoulder at her. Kitty knew what she would say to convince him—what he wanted to hear.“You are home, Sir,” she smiled at him before taking a seat and working on her embroidery.

Ashford looked at her in amazement and offered a soft laugh. “You are incredible, Miss Bennet,” he mumbled in hushed tones,“absolutely incredible.”

Darcy woke from the dream with a start; he still felt the woman's breath on his cheek. “I have been waiting for you,” he whispered.

He wondered, “
Waiting for whom?
” The dream seemed so real; he could feel the erratic beating of his heart and the nearness of the woman. “Elizabeth,” his mind said to him, and the image disappeared. He wished he could see the woman's face in the dream. Darcy knew her name, but he wanted to see her face, then the question of who he was could be answered. If he could remember the woman in the dream, he could make sense of his life once again.

 

This was Darcy's world: He slept often, always dreaming of the same woman—always hearing her words of endearment—always feeling her touch him.When he did not sleep, he fussed with the servant, frustrated that the man would not help him escape the room in which he found himself. He saw no one besides the servant, and Darcy came to realize until he could leave the room on his own, the mystery of whom he was and where he was would remain. So, he set about forcing himself to get stronger. Determined, for the next three days, he ate the food brought to him; he tried walking a few steps each day, compelling his body to respond to his will.

 

On the fourth day, Darcy, with Conrad's help, made his way to
an upstairs sitting room, and then he awaited the appearance of Miss Donnelly. When she entered, the woman made him a quick curtsy.“I am happy to see you up on your own, Sir.” She smiled at him, and Darcy had a flittering image of having seen her before.“You worried us, Sir.”

“Hopefully, you will forgive me for not rising.” Darcy looked at the woman more closely.

“Of course, Sir.” Miss Donnelly took a seat across from him.

He stared at her, trying to see something familiar in the woman. “Thank you for opening your home to me. It was most generous of you.”

“I am confused,” the lady said.“Why would I not open my home? Soon it will be
our
home.”

Darcy now saw the woman smile at him in an enticing way. “How may this house be
our
home?”

“Oh, your condition is worse than Mr. Addison led me to believe.” Miss Donnelly feigned shock.

Darcy demanded,“Then are you telling me you know who I am?”

“Of course I do!” She brought her fan to her face and began to strum the air.“This is so stressful.”

“Madam,” he tried to control the volume of his speech. “I have lain in that bed for nearly ten days not knowing anything about my life. I beg you, if you can speak on this matter, do so.”

“Very well.” Miss Donnelly dropped her eyes.“I hoped you would recall these details on your own, but I see it is not to be. My Goodness, where should I begin?”

“My name would be an excellent beginning.”

“You are my cousin Frederick Donnelly, and we are engaged to be married.” Miss Donnelly looked him directly in the eye while indicating the ruby ring on her gloved hand.

“We are engaged?” Darcy asked, trying to comprehend the situation in which he now found himself.

“Yes, Sir, we are. That is why I could not come to your
room during your illness; it would not be proper.” A slight blush overtook her face.

Darcy stammered,“May I ask your given name?”

“Elizabeth Mavis Donnelly.”

“Elizabeth,” he murmured, but the feeling he experienced the last few days when he dreamed of the passionate woman did not surface; only confusion reigned.

Darcy wanted answers.“How did I come to be on the road?”

Elizabeth Donnelly continued to spin her story. Over the past week, she concocted what she thought to be a believable one. When Miss Donnelly met Fitzwilliam Darcy in London all those many months ago, he was single. If she “rushed” him into the marriage, even if he recovered his memory, he would likely not abandon her. And, if he did, she would not object. She would have her inheritance, and, besides, she hated men—hated the filth they brought into
her
house.Their hands covered in dirt. She would want no man to ever touch her unless he wore gloves.The thoughts sent a shiver through her.

Darcy saw her shiver, thinking the woman seemed reluctant to answer him.“Is there a problem, Madam?”

“No, Sir,” she tried to cover her thoughts. “I just remembered the conditions in which we found you—they were so deplorable!”

Darcy did not answer; he simply nodded an understanding of the woman's sentiments, yet something about her bothered him.

“You decided to travel to Hull on business and while there secure a proper license for our ceremony.Then when you did not return in a timely manner, I worried for your safety as not returning would be uncharacteristic of such an honorable man—so I set out to follow you.We came across your carriage along the road. My household staff was dead, and you were injured. I had Mr. Lansing gather what we could, and we brought you here immediately. Needless to say, your health was my first concern. I am sure the coach has been looted by now.”

The woman's recitation seemed a bit too rehearsed, but Darcy could not decipher what he should address next.Things did not seem right; yet, he could not imagine why she would purposely lie to him. “How long has our marriage been planned?” he asked suspiciously.