Darcy felt himself lost to her. The passion grew quickly as he looked at her upturned face, and he again fought the urge to kiss her. His breath came in short bursts. “You gave me a great deal upon which to think, Elizabeth.”
He reached out and touched her chin with his index finger. To a stranger, such a gesture might seem an insignificant one, but Elizabeth knew Darcy only did such to those he most closely affected. “I will see you at dinner,” she taunted him by slowly parting her lips as if to kiss him. “Thank you, Fitzwilliam.” A footman stepped forward to help Elizabeth from the vehicle. Darcy watched as she started to climb the steps to Pemberley. “Come, Hero,” she called without looking around. The dog jumped about for her attention, while Elizabeth bent to pat its head.“How is my good dog?” she laughed.“We had a full day, did we not? A very full day.” She stood again and looked back briefly at Darcy before entering the house.
Darcy let out the breath he did not realize he held. A smile turned up the corners of his mouth as he, too, climbed the steps to Pemberley.“A very full day,” he mumbled.“She has no idea how full my day was.” With that, he allowed himself an
audible chuckle before handing his coat and beaver to the waiting servant.
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The days progressed as such. Darcy continued to fight his recent recognition of the merits of Elizabeth Bennet Darcy. She certainly had a way with other people; he would give her that. His staff, his tenants, and his sister all offered Elizabeth their respect; the people in Lambton spoke highly of her amiability and her compassion. Other than Darcy himself, and, evidently, Lady Catherine, Elizabeth won over everyone. Edward and Anne thought her to be a good choice for Darcy; in an uncharacteristically lengthy letter, Lord and Lady Pennington sang Elizabeth's praises.
Yet, Darcy saw in the accounts what a deficit the estate took when he brought Elizabeth to Pemberley as his wife. Financially, she brought nothing of which to speak to his holdings, and although she spent very little from the generous pin money Darcy provided her, the estate lost value with the marriage. Elizabeth's thousand pounds from Mr. Bennet did not ease the pecuniary differences.
Elizabeth's manners impressed those below herâthose with country manners of their own, but members of the
ton
would eat her alive for their dinner. Once they smelled her fear, members of the
ton
would attack Elizabeth's manners, her bearing, and her connections. The mob mentality would overcome her, and Darcy would be unable to help. Elizabeth's inability to succeed in London would reflect on his family and his sister's chances of an appropriate match. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he must bring Georgiana to London this Season while Elizabeth would have to remain behind. He could keep his wife in Derbyshire where London's finest could not evaluate her, and the new Mrs. Darcy could not tarnish Georgiana's chances.
However disagreeable Darcy found these circumstances surrounding his wife, he could not withdraw his eyes from her when she entered a room, and he began to concoct situations about which he had to speak to Elizabeth. Every day he rushed down to breakfast to be there when she entered the room; he took pleasure in preparing a plate for her. Darcy sought her out throughout the house, and he often found his thoughts drifted to Elizabeth. Maybe having her at Pemberley without interruptions would not be such a bad thing, at least for him. Possibly, he could function in both worlds: in London's social scene and as a country gentleman. Darcy saw no real reason it could not happen. He could have Elizabeth at Pemberley and live a life of a respected landowner in London.The thoughts of such an arrangement pleased him. He would spend several months a year at his London home, and then he would return to Pemberley.A smile of pure pleasure crept across his face, and Darcy leaned back in his chair to savor the moment. He would go to London on Monday to arrange for Georgiana's abbreviated season; afterwards, he would return to Pemberley and resume his husbandly rights with his wife. Elizabeth would not refuse him; she conveyed her receptiveness quite clearly, and Darcy would make her his again.
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On the Saturday before his departure for London, finding Elizabeth dressed to go out took Darcy by surprise when she entered the breakfast room. His eyes shot up to meet hers when she entered the room. “Good morning, Elizabeth,” he spoke her name softly, giving it a special emphasis.
“Good morning, my Husband.” She offered him a bright smile.“I hope you slept well, Sir.” Politeness hid her question.
Darcy walked to the sideboard to refill his plate. “I did, Madam.” Darcy, too, found himself smiling. “May I fix you some tea?”
“May I have some chocolate?” Elizabeth half teased.“I seem to have developed a taste for it these last few months.”
“Certainly, Elizabeth.” Darcy brought her the cup.
“The heir to Pemberley is restless today.” Elizabeth gently stroked her ever-increasing abdomen.
Being alone with her in the breakfast room, Darcy felt compelled to kneel next to her chair. “Are you pleased with the child?” He examined Elizabeth's countenance, searching for the answer to a question he did not know how to ask. “I meanâare you . . . ?” Darcy broke off, not wanting to know if having his child meant something to her.
Elizabeth took Darcy's hand and placed it over the quickening movement. Her smile curled upward when the child's shifting moved against Darcy's hand, and tears welled in his eyes. “I told you before our child loves your touch.” Her voice softly caressed Darcy's ear as she leaned closer to him.
His hand moved gently, and he could not resist the pull Elizabeth had on him. He let his other hand stroke her ankle at the hem of her skirt, and he heard Elizabeth let out a little gasp. “You did not answer my question, Elizabeth.” Darcy's voice took on a husky tone.
Elizabeth caressed the side of his face; she forced herself not to even blink, afraid the least change would break the spell between them. “I anticipate your happiness when the child arrives; it will please me to see you holding your heir.” Elizabeth slid her hand into his. Darcy's other hand continued to stroke her ankle, and slowly he moved his thumb up her calf.
“How can we make this work?” His words came out jagged and breathy. “I feel I am cheating you out of happiness. You want something from me I may never be able to give you.”
“I know you are the same man with whom I fell in love.” Elizabeth craved Darcy's touch. “The question is whether you can love me again, my Husband. I must admit this is the most
difficult thing I ever did, and I do not know whether I am strong enough to take your answer when you finally decide.”
Their gaze locked, and neither of them could moveâthe desire thick between them. How long they would stay as such one cannot know, but soon voices penetrated their thoughts, forcing Darcy to withdraw once again. Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably as Kitty and Georgiana entered the room.They bubbled with excitement. Darcy looked up from the sidebar, to where he pretended to examine the selections, to note his sister's appearance. He sheepishly remembered his earlier surprise at seeing Elizabeth dressed to go out for the day.Wanting to know where Elizabeth might be going and understanding she and his sister would be going together, Darcy asked casually,“Do you intend to go out today, Georgiana?”
Georgiana shot a quick glance at Elizabeth, wondering how to answer her brother. Noting his sister's discomfort, Elizabeth answered for her. “We decided to make an appearance at the Tissington Well Dressing Festival after all, Fitzwilliam.” Elizabeth's voice held a special caution in telling her husband about their plans. She assumed he would disapprove, and she did not want to lose the ground she made in earning his attention once again.
“Surely, you are not in truth!” Darcy whirled around to confront his wife.
“No, Sir, that is our plan. Mr. Ashford is to bless the well; he asked Kitty to accompany him. I cannot allow my sister to attend alone. I chose to represent the estate while securing my sister's reputation. I am sorry you disapprove, Fitzwilliam, but I will not likely change my mind.” Elizabeth's heart sank. She knew her husband would withdraw from her; he would see her as functioning as the Mistress of Pemberley only in the basest form.
Darcy guarded his words, but his tone betrayed his feelings. “These people are not sophisticated, Elizabeth. Well dressing
ceremonies are based in deep-rooted heathenish superstitions.” He literally puffed up with disdain.
Elizabeth allowed her eyes to lock with hisâonly this time instead of desire, it was a test of will.“I realize these people live hard lives based on their beliefs and their traditions. I realize this celebration, although lacking in worldliness, is important to them. I believe it is important to support our Pemberley familyâto understand them better.” Elizabeth did not allow her eyes to falter even though she did not feel confident in this confrontation with Darcy.
Georgiana and Kitty sat immobilized, afraid even to breathe. They prayed Elizabeth would prevail, for both girls looked forward to the outing; therefore, their composures lapsed when Darcy said,“What if I forbid it?”The stare became an intense battleground between Darcy and Elizabeth.
The moments crawled by before she answered him. “I pray, my Husband, you do not choose to do so for we are at odds on this issue. I know you have the legal right to control my use of the coach, but please do not exercise that right, Fitzwilliam.We have more important issues between us than a peasant celebration.”
Her words said, Elizabeth waited, holding her breath, trying to reason how she would react if Darcy went through with his threat. Finally, he threw the napkin on the table and stormed from the room.
The tension lessened, but did not totally dissipate. “Ladies,” Elizabeth's voice trembled, “please be ready to leave as soon as you eat.We are to pick up Mr.Ashford at the parsonage within the hour.” Elizabeth, having lost her appetite, returned to her chambers. Legs shaking, she collapsed into a nearby chair. “Please, Fitzwilliam,” she whispered before breaking into tears.
CHAPTER 17
“If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful
than the rest, I do think it is memory.”
Jane Austen,
Mansfield Park
, 1814
The carriage stopped briefly in front of the parsonage; Mr. Ashford exited the house immediately. Joining the ladies in the coach, Ashford made his polite greetings to all three before turning his attentions to Kitty Bennet.
“Have you attended such a festival before, Mr. Ashford?” Kitty asked quietly.
His smile flooded the coach.“Once when I was a child, my mother's brother took my older brother and me to one in the eastern parts of the county.”
“I did not realize you had an older brother.” Elizabeth's head turned quickly at his words.
“It is true, Mrs. Darcy. My brother Rowland was two years my senior.”Ashford looked out the coach's window.“He resided with my father in Brighton, but he passed three years ago.”
Even Georgiana seemed surprised by this disclosure. “I am ashamed, Mr. Ashford, I never thought to inquire about your family prior to today. It grieves me I could have been so shallow.”
“Do not fret, Miss Darcy.” Ashford swallowed hard.“I speak very little of my family; my father would prefer I chose law as my profession, but I love the church and my calling. Your brother is aware of my situation; I assumed the rest of the family was also.”
“As you are part of the Pemberley family now, Mr. Ashford,” Georgiana warned,“we will all be into your business to the point you will drive us away.”
Mr. Ashford smiled at her assertion. “I could not find myself in better company, Miss Darcy.” No one said anything for a few, brief moments, all a bit uncomfortable with the personal disclosure.
Elizabeth took it upon herself to change the discourse by retelling Mr.Ashford and Kitty about how she and Georgiana used the well dressing mosaic from last year in the tenant celebration.
“Well, that explains some of the rumors about your being the âMother of the Land,' Mrs. Darcy.” The group fell into a comfortable conversation.
The journey took less than an hour, and as the carriage pulled into the Tissington village center, a crush of people rushed forward, waiting for the riders of such an expensive coach to step down.Those in the coach shifted their seats and straightened their clothing before disembarking. The coach's door swung open, and Elizabeth moved to step down, expecting a footman to assist her.
Instead, her hand slid into Darcy's. He stood in all his glory waiting for her; Elizabeth's eyes welled with tears as she mouthed the words “thank you” when he helped her to the ground. Then he turned back to aid first Georgiana and then Kitty, both of whom did not control their composure as well as did Elizabeth.