Darcy's Temptation (41 page)

Georgiana followed Elizabeth's eyes to where she looked. An amused smile crossed the fair-haired Georgiana Darcy's face, and as if brushing away a strand of hair from her forehead, she wiggled her five fingers and mouthed the word “five” to Elizabeth before allowing her eyes to drift to Chadwick Harrison's face and to gauge his delight in the picture's rendering.

The ever-practical gentleman, Darcy cleared his throat, indicating his desire to leave for Pemberley.With her eyes, Elizabeth encouraged him to extend an invitation to Mr. Harrison to join them for dinner and the evening. Darcy followed her suggestion, and Harrison readily agreed, stealing every moment he could with Georgiana. Returning to his estate, Darcy chose to ride back on Cerberus rather than accept Harrison's offer of sharing his carriage. Although the strain of being with his wife subsided a bit each day, Darcy still needed the freedom of a hard ride on his favorite mount to clear his head. By the time he arrived at the main house, Darcy had meticulous plans for his life, his sister's life, and his child's life. He planned it all.

 

The company that evening was all anyone could hope it to be. Clayton Ashford continually expressed his gratitude to the
Darcys for the opportunity of being chosen for his position. He made promises to Elizabeth to cherish and provide for her sister and to protect Kitty from all harm.

“You will have your hands full with Kitty,” Elizabeth told him, “but she will make you a fine wife. She possesses a loving nature and a good heart. Kitty will be a gift of fresh air in your life.Treat her as a gift and not an obligation, and you will know her love, Mr.Ashford.”

“Those are very wise words, Mrs. Darcy.”When no one was close, he added, “Your husband has made great progress. I pray each day Mr. Darcy finds
his way home
.”

“It is my prayer too, Mr. Ashford. I am afraid I am very selfish; I would like
my
Fitzwilliam back immediately. I miss him in my life, but I will try to be satisfied with what God gives me.”

“I do not think even God could fault you for wanting your husband's love as you once knew it. God will bring him back to you; I told your sister that long before Mr. Darcy was found, and nothing has changed my beliefs.”

“Thank you, Mr.Ashford. I did not believe I needed to hear those words, but I was miserably wrong.” Elizabeth's eyes misted with tears before she forced her grief to retreat; she put on a smile as Darcy approached.

“Mrs. Darcy, are you ready to go in to dinner?” He offered Elizabeth his arm.

Elizabeth took his proffered arm and allowed Darcy to lead her to the head of his table.

The conversation dwelt on estate business, the sermon Ashford would deliver tomorrow, the finished nursery, Georgiana's music, and Harrison's new horses. By silent consensus, no one discussed the images in the mosaic. After dinner, Georgiana played, and Elizabeth sang. Her voice flooded Darcy with memories of hearing her before. Tokens of remembrances flickered before his eyes, bright and dull—throughout each of her three songs.

When Elizabeth returned to sit by Darcy, his memories caused his composure to falter. “Are you well, Fitzwilliam?” Elizabeth whispered when the music began again.

“You sang for me before?” he asked under his breath.

“You used to say my singing at Sir William Lucas's party was when you first noticed my eyes. I sang for you many times, my Love.” Elizabeth slipped her hand in his, and Darcy lifted it to his lips and caressed it gently.

“I had a few brief images of you at a pianoforte,” his voice came out raspy.

Elizabeth caressed his jaw line, not sure how to respond to Darcy's disclosure. His words held her dreams, but she did not wish him to suffer emotionally from it.“Was it painful?”

“Not really.” Darcy shifted his weight a bit before adding, “It was just a bit unexpected.”

“I would not want you to experience any pain.” Elizabeth's concern grew by the moment.

“I am well, I assure you,” he repeated his assessment. “Your concern is certainly admirable, but I am glad to have any memory return.”

 

The evening brought Darcy another restless night. Briefly, he dreamed of Georgiana and Elizabeth and their tenants in one of the public rooms at Pemberley. Mr. Harrison was there, too. He kept thinking Elizabeth was the most beautiful woman he ever saw, and he could not be happier knowing she was his at last.

Then he was transported back to before they were married. He saw what he assumed must be her home in Hertfordshire. He recognized only Mr. and Mrs. Bingley and Kitty in the dream, but he felt no stress. Instinctively, Darcy knew he prepared to ask her father for Mr. Bennet's consent.

 

 

 

He woke with a start. Shaken, Darcy threw back the counterpane and stood beside the bed. Elizabeth's hold on him increased the past week; defining what he felt about her troubled him. She invaded his thoughts during the day and during the night. Walking to the mantel, he ran his hand through his hair.

Darcy knew what he wanted to do; he wanted to go to his wife and lie beside her, to feel the regular beating of her heart as he took her in his arms. “Why not?” He said the words out loud.“She is my wife. I have rights, do I not?”

Unsure whether he could do what he thought, Darcy walked to the table and poured himself a brandy, which he gulped down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Pouring another, Darcy downed it nearly as quickly as the first. On the third drink, he sat in the high-backed chair holding the glass to his lips and visualizing his sleeping wife's face before him.

The three quick drinks steadied his nerves somewhat, but Darcy visibly shook when he found himself outside of Elizabeth's
bedchamber. His hand slowly turned the handle. In the dwindling candlelight, he saw Elizabeth lay across the bed, a book beside her and a pillow crushed in her embrace.

As if mesmerized, Darcy found himself beside her bed, drinking in her image. How innocently beautiful she looked lying there, her auburn curls draped across the pillow. Darcy debated briefly whether to leave her there alone and return to his own room. It was late; he should not disturb her, but he could not resist Elizabeth's allure.

Elizabeth felt herself being lifted by the closeness of her husband. “Is this a dream?” she murmured softly while snuggling into his chest.

“It is no dream.” Darcy caressed her cheek with his lips. “You are chilled, and I would not want you to catch a cold.” He placed her back on the pillows and brought the coverlet up to bring her warmth. Leaning over her, Darcy began to tuck in the counterpane until Elizabeth's arms snaked around his neck, pulling him toward her.“Elizabeth,” he whispered with desire.

“In my dreams you always kiss me.” Her words increased Darcy's need for her.

His breath came hot against Elizabeth's cheek. “I do not know why I came.”

“I do not care why you came,” she said, allowing her lips to brush against his,“as long as you are here.”

Darcy's lips captured hers at last, and Elizabeth moaned with the pressure of his mouth on hers. In a breathy moment, Darcy pulled back as if to withdraw.“Please do not leave,” Elizabeth nearly begged.

Hesitation came while Darcy argued with himself on the question of should he stay or not, but then he looked back at the passion present in Elizabeth's eyes, and he was lost to her. He removed his nightshirt and slid his long frame under the bedclothes, taking Elizabeth into his arms. “Help me to love you again,” he pleaded.

“You are mine, Fitzwilliam Darcy,” Elizabeth teased as she rubbed her hands across his chest and whispered in his ear. She kissed him deeply, promising her devotion.

Darcy allowed himself to take pleasure in touching her soft skin. “Elizabeth, I do not want to promise you something I cannot give; yet, there is no place else I want to be right now.” He began to kiss along her shoulder line and neck.

“Then there is no place else you should be.” Elizabeth pulled herself closer to him while kissing behind his ear. “Stay with me tonight.”

“Should I not be more of a gentleman? After all, you are with child.” He searched her eyes for an answer.

“Mr. Spencer says we may continue our relationship until my lying in.” She moved in close to him again, afraid Darcy would withdraw.

“I am afraid,” he said quietly, as if saying the words cost him something dearly.“I do not know how to please you; I have no memory of us.” He caressed her face with the back of his hand.

“Then let us discover each other together.” Elizabeth brushed his lips with hers. “I will give you a hint, my Husband,” she teased.“I love it when you call me Lizzy.”

“Come to me, Lizzy.” Darcy's voice came thick with desire. He pulled her hips toward him and captured her mouth with his.

Jane Austen,
Emma
, 1815

If Elizabeth thought their night of passion would make their relationship come easier, she was sadly mistaken. Darcy withdrew into himself and avoided her through much of the day. She sulked about the house, at her wit's end as to what to do next. During the night Darcy was responsive and tender and loving—just as Elizabeth remembered him to be, but the daylight brought her a different man. He seemed repulsed by her and indifferent to Elizabeth's offers of civility.

Darcy planned to leave for London the next day, and Elizabeth did not wish him to be gone on such “strained” terms.Try as she may, she would let him leave without addressing the issue. She yearned for someone to advise her how to handle the situation, but there was no one to whom to turn. Neither Georgiana nor Kitty should even know what to expect in the marriage bedroom, nor how to advise her on how to handle her husband's dual nature. She would give anything to be able to talk to Jane or her Aunt Gardiner; they would understand and not judge her for such a personal subject. There was nothing to do but to use her instincts and pray those instincts were in tune to Darcy.