What does he want to talk about?
But he still wants you – wants your body.
Could it be that he wanted her back in his life
like before
?
Gina knew how difficult that would be. She couldn’t be the sort of woman Matthew needed anymore – she had James now and she’d changed.
“Gosh this place is huge,” she exclaimed as they walked up the stairs and along the large open landing.
And what a
master bedroom – it was spectacular
with
large glass doors that opened out onto a railed terrace complete with patio furniture. Of course there was the
king sized bed
with black silk bedding
and the walls seemed to be covered in
floor to ceiling
mirrored robes
.
She peeped into
two other adjoining rooms – one a
beautiful bathroom and the other a large fitted
dressing room
. She
smiled at her reflection in a full length mirror
and twirled around
thinking
to herself
that th
is really was some place Matthew had bought.
But what she couldn’t figure was why. What use was a place like this to him
– a man who
travelled such a lot and
mostly lived alone
?
“A spanking stool,” he informed
her matter of factly
as she made to return to the
main bedroom and
ran a hand over the
low slung,
smooth
curved
leather
seat of something she didn’t understand
.
She looked again and saw the metal r
ings down the legs for restraining wayward arms and legs
and shivered. But was it fear or excitement that snaked
a fiery trail
down her spine?
“
Nice isn’t it,” his deep
Scottish
voice intoned
as he reached for his crop
. “But do we use it
or not? Perhaps we should
be a little
less
adventurous
now
? What do you think
” he asked with that dark, emotionless look on his face?”
Gina shrugged –
a spanking stool
the idea of Matthew binding her to it while he
did that thing with his crop
suddenly made her flush.
But what
was it he’d just
said – less adventurous?
“Well, he asked again. “Don’t you agree
,” he slapped the crop hard against
the stool
watching her wince at the noise
it made. “D
on’t you think the time has come for me to stop punishing you
with these things
just to slake some dark, sexual thirst of mine?”
“I don’t know,” Gina whispered confused. She’d no idea what was going on – she’d never seen him like this before.
“But you’d miss it – wouldn’t you,” he said accusingly.
Then
he picked up the stool and
flung
it
across the room
making
Gina
jump with fright
as it bounced off the corner of the bed
. “
And
I blame myself -
it’s my fault
you’re like this.
I’ve awakened a monster in you – a monster with appetites that I encouraged, appetites I forced on you – and I’m s
orry,” he admitted watching as
puzzlement wash
ed
over her face.
“
No you didn
’t
,” she admitted guiltily. “T
hose appetites as you call them must have been there – somewhere
inside me
all the time. But
I really don’t
need
you to do those things
to me
, Matthew,” Gina almost whispered. “
Particularly when you very nearly go too far – when you almost cross the line
,” she brushed a hand over her cheek – she was blushing
again. She felt so foolish – like a young inexperienced girl but
at least she’d
told him and he appeared to have listened to
.
“Come here,” he ordered
flinging the crop after the stool his deep voice
sending
a shiver of need down her spine.
She
hesitated
.
“But I don’t understand –
you aren’t yourself -
what’s happened to you,” she asked with concern.
“You happened, Gina,” he told her simply.
“Yes but that was ages ago now so why suddenly are you so – so different?”
Gina went to his side and threw her arms around his neck holding his broad frame
close
.
“
Wh
ere
is
all this com
ing
from?
Why do you want to change things between us?” She
suddenly
dropped her eyes from his – God this was awful – he wanted things to change because he’d gone off her
was the thought running through her head
.
He stroked her hair gently and kissed her cheek.
“I’ve treated you very badly
,” his voice reassured. “S
ince I found you again
I’ve been a beast and you’ve not complained you’ve just put up with all my rawness – my pain,”
he admitted. “I
was hurting – I
just couldn’t get over the fact that you left me for
Hastings
– that you slept with him – even contemplated marriage for God’s sake -
and I wanted to
punish you for that.
Punish you so hard and make you sorry.
”
“All that
with Kyle
was a mistake
, Matthew
,” she explained. “
I was confused -
I
imagined that getting involved with Kyle was the right thing to do
– stupid
idea. It never would have worked.
”
“The right thing to do,” he repeated. “S
o it wasn’t about love or anything serious like that,” he asked with amusement.
“There’s something I should tell you, Matthew.”
S
he
responded seriously
gnaw
ing
on
her lip –
this could
spoil everything but she he had to know.
“You see Gina every woman I’ve met has always wanted something from me. Money, prestige – with Lisa it was all about the information she could get about my organisation for her brother.” He paused and smiled down at her. “And with you, my sweet – it was that damned job – and, of course, retribution. So to begin with I treated you the same way that
I treat
all women
– as objects to be
controlled -
used
for my own pleasure
.
So
, as you no doubt remember,
I took what I wanted from
you
and I didn’t give a damn
how
you felt about it
.” He kissed her mouth lightly.
“
I’m sorry
for that
– I really am.
”
“
I only got involved with Kyle because I was on the rebound from you and because …,”
this was so difficult
. “Because I was pregnant,” she said watching him stiffen. “I didn’t want you to know – I was frightened that you’d interfere – do something. And I thought that if I was married and had a child then you were sure to stay away.”
“So you wanted a complete break? But that didn’t happen - did it
and that night
in my penthouse
you didn’t behave like a woman who didn’t want to see me again
?
Even though you were pregnant you came to my bed and
you
enjoyed it if I remember,
”
he teased.
“W
hen you came back
-
and after that night
-
I knew what I wanted
and that I
couldn’t marry Kyle. I knew then that sooner or later I
had to tell you
the truth
but then I began to worry you wouldn’t believe me.”
“Believe what, Gina?”
“James – my son
,” she paused watching his handsome face break into one of his half smiles. “H
e’s your son too, Matthew,” she closed her eyes against the
look
she imagined
he’d give her and
waited for his response.
“Yes – I know,” he replied simply.
“You know!
But h
ow can you – did you guess?”
“I don’t do guessing, Gina.
I generally go
for something more substantial,” he emphasised
dryly
. “
No, I’m afraid I took this,” he said handing back James’s teething ring. “I had it tested – you know DNA. So I know he’s mine.
And he’s the reason things have got to change now.
”
“I still don’t understand – how change?”
“You and me –
I once said that I was going to re-boot our relationship – remember. Well the time has come to do that again. We need to do things differently because of James.”
“I’ll let you see him, there won’t be any problems on that score,” she told him.
“Oh I think I want to do a lot more than just ‘see’ him as you put it, Gina.”
Her eyes shot up to his – surely he wouldn’t take him from her – keep him for himself? The thought burned through her mind sending waves of panic straight to her tummy and making her feel sick.
“I won’t let you have him – you can’t want to take him off me?”
“No – of course not – what sort of man do you think I am, Gina?” He exclaimed. “All I want is for things to be different so that we can try and raise him together.”
Together – what a wonderful word
she thought as it echoed round her mind.
“They’ll be no more cuffs or ropes - trust me where you’re concerned I’m done with all that stuff.”
“
But I don't mind, Matthew - it's not what yo
u do or the things you use - it
s well - the mood you're in
when you use them. It
’
s
the way you
sometimes seem to need to hurt me - punish me for something. It's that I don't like. Frankly - all the other stuff - done with care and dare I say
–
done with
love
-
is just such a huge turn on for me.”
He raised his eyebrows in amusement and cleared his throat. “OK – we’ll modify things then. No more punishments and I’m sorry for that. But
just recently
I
have
want
ed
to punish you – punish you hard. I hated the thought of you and Hastings together - of you in his bed and him putting his hands on you.”
He gripped her tight and lifted her face so that she had no choice but to look up into his dark eyes. “And then there was Lisa dripping poison at every opportunity
-
making sure I was kept informed of every detail - probably all lies
–
but
the whole thing just grew in my head
until I had to do something
.
”
“So you came back – you were jealous Matthew so you must care for me after all,” Gina smiled.
“Care for you and more,” he said squeezing her too him. “But despite your dalliance with
Hastings
I do know I can trust you.
You above any other woman I’
ve ever gotten involved with had
every reason to come after me – take me for a fortune to keep our son. But you didn’t.”
“I wouldn’t do that, Matthew.” She was appalled that he could think such a thing of her but she could
well understand that that’s exactly what
most
other women would
have done
. “
But the
only
reason I didn’t tell you is because I thought you’d hate the idea.
I thought you’d go off me and disappear for good.
”