Dark Destiny (Dark Brothers Book #4) (10 page)

I sigh. “Fine, if you’re not ready now, we won’t talk.”

“Why are you here? Why did you let them put me in this room?”

“You know why, Jagger.”

He looks up at me, his face completely tormented.

“Let me out, just let me go.”

“No.”

He pulls back, slamming his fist onto the ground. “Just let me fuckin’ go!”

“I said no!”

He wraps his bloodied hand around the back of my neck and pulls me close.

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you, that’s all I want. I want my husband back.”

“Want me?” he rasps.

“Yes, I want you.”

“Now.”

“What?” I say, confused.

“Isn’t that part of what you want,” he husks. “My cock inside you. You miss feeling me, admit it, Willow, that’s part of this. If you want to fuck, just say so.”

Angry, I shove his hand from me and get to my feet.

“You know what Jagger?” I say, walking towards the door. “You can just go and fuck yourself.”

Then I tap on the door, and Bull opens it. I step out to the sounds of his angry outburst starting up again.

~*~*~*~*

JAGGER

My hand throbs as I wrap a shirt around it. God damn them all. Fuck my beautiful fucking wife. She got what she wanted. She cracked me. Then she let them put me in here. The frustration in my chest is overloading me. It’s fucking burning my chest. I nearly killed my best friend. I nearly hit my own wife. What the fuck am I doing? The pathetic tears are still rolling down my cheeks, because she left me here again, and I need her in here. I need her to wrap her arms around me again. What the fuck have I done? What the fuck have I done to my relationship? My heart hurts. For the first time in months, I feel a stabbing pain inside my chest. I was sure I would never feel that again.

Who do I talk to? I can’t talk to her. I just can’t. She’ll never understand. She’ll never be able to accept what I did. They all want me to break, and now I have, none of them are here to let me talk, because they all know they can’t handle it. I have no one to open up to. They’ve torn my fuckin’ heart open, and left me without a way to get it out. I want to get it out. For the first time, I just want to get it out. I want it gone. I want the numbness to leave. I want the pain to just go away. I just want, for one second of my life…

To feel ok again.

CHAPTER 7

WILLOW

“Willow, we have a problem.”

I am sitting out on the deck, calming down from my interaction with Jagger, when I hear Jenny’s voice. I turn and she’s standing at the door, looking at me with an odd expression. I stand, walking over to her.

“What is it?”

“Well, when I went to get mom earlier…she was at your door, looking for you. She said it was in regards to Jagger and the island, so I didn’t know what to do. I figured because I was bringing mom out, if she was just a fake, I could take her back when I take mom back this afternoon.”

“She?” I say, confused.

“Yeah, she said her name is Summer and she was one of the girls that was rescued from the island.”

My eyes widen. “What?”

“She wants to see Jagger.”

I hurry past Jenny and into the living room, but I’m too late, they’ve already let Jagger out. He’s watching the girl, his eyes narrowed as he walks towards her. I let my eyes fall on her. She’s got this long, beautiful dark hair and yellow eyes. She’s an extremely gorgeous woman, but she has haunted eyes and anyone can see she’s fragile. She’s tiny, with a petite frame that’s hidden with baggy clothes. Her eyes are on Jagger, and his face…he’s showing emotion. Deep emotion. Like they’re long lost friends or something. When he stops in front of her, I feel my knees begin to wobble.

“What’s your name?” he rasps.

“Summer,” she says in a voice so tiny I can hardly hear it.

“Why do I know your face?”

She looks around the room with a timid expression. “Because you saved me and on the island…you helped me…when Master…”

Master? God.

Jagger stares at her a moment, then his face softens and he nods.

“I remember, I…”

He looks around the room, as though he can’t say what he saw in front of us. He turns back to Summer.

“Are you okay?”

He asks it with such genuine interest, my heart quite literally burns.

“I…” she stares at him, and swallows.

“It’s ok, come on, we can talk.”

Talk? Talk? Is he serious? My knees wobble again, and I reach out to steady myself on the door frame. He wants to talk? With her? I have been trying for months, and he wants to talk to a stranger?

“As long as I’m not interrupting you here…” Summer says, giving a shaky smile.

“No, of course not. We’ll go downstairs.”

He reaches out and she takes his hand, and just like that, they walk off. My legs go then, and fall to the floor. Angel rushes over, wrapping his arms around me and standing me back up again.

“It’s ok…”

“He…He…He…”

“I know.”

“He cared! For her! He…”

“I know, shhh.”

“Oh god,” I say, feeling my eyes well up.

“Willow, what is going on?”

I hear my mother’s voice, and my stomach clenches. I look up to see her walking into the room holding Leila.

“It’s…nothing,” I squeak.

“It doesn’t look like nothing!”

“Mother, not now!” Jenny says in a harsh tone.

My mother pouts at her, then goes back to cooing at Leila. Ava and Jenny rush over, both of them taking my arms.

“We’ve got it babe, thanks,” Ava says to Angel.

Angel stares at me, his face pained. I look down at my feet, unable to grasp what just happened. The girls lead me into my room, and sit me on the bed. My hands are trembling. Jenny takes them in hers, forcing me to look over at her.

“He…he…felt something when he looked at her.”

“It’s probably just shock honey,” Jenny soothes.

“He probably just wanted to help,” Ava says gently.

“Months, for long months I’ve tried to help him…tried to make him feel and she walks in and his face…it changed…he offered to talk with her.”

“Oh, Willow.”

“It’s over for me, my own husband really doesn’t love me anymore.”

Ava makes a soft sound and Jenny grips my face.

“Listen to me, he does love you. He does.”

“No,” I cry, slapping her hands away. “He doesn’t. He’s been trying to make that clear to me and I didn’t see it. I do now. I see it.”

“You’re wrong, Willow, don’t give up now. You’ve fought so hard.”

I stand, shaking my head. I walk over the window and stare down, and that’s when I see him. They’re sitting on an old broken seat on the borderline of trees. They’re talking and the expression on Jagger’s face is gentle. I haven’t seen an expression like that on him for…well…a long, long time. When he reaches out and takes her hand, my heart breaks in two. He leans closer and says something to her, and she hangs her head, clearly crying. He lifts her chin, saying something else and that’s enough for me. I can’t deal with this any longer.

I give up.

I. Give. Up.

~*~*~*~*

JAGGER

Summer has been here for five days, and in that time, she’s helped me in a way no one else has been able to. To be able to confide in someone, it’s doing things to me, it’s opening me up. Each day I wake up, I feel a little better. My heart is a little less sore, my head a little less foggy. I smile at my kids more. Heck, I think I even laughed yesterday. The numbness in my body is slowly leaving my body and I’m able to feel again. The nightmares have worsened, but I think it’s because I’m letting it out. They were right, bringing me out here…since
I broke down, and Summer showed up, things are piecing together for me again. I didn’t realize what a fuck wit I was being.

And then there’s Willow. She disappeared for two days, wouldn’t answer my calls, wouldn’t let me talk to my kids. When she reappeared, she refuses to talk to me. Each time I try, she walks away. She won’t let me fix this with her. She’s given up on me. It’s my fuckin’ fault, she’s only doin’ what I told her to, but now she won’t even look at me. I want to tell her things are getting better, that maybe soon we can work on fixin’ what was broken, but she won’t have a bar of it. She’s hurting. And I can’t fix it. Not when I’m tryin’ to fix myself. I fuckin’ miss her though, one thing Summer has showed me, is that I was fuckin’ wrong to Willow and I hurt her beyond words, and I need to fix it. But I don’t know how.

“Hey, there you are.”

I turn to see Summer walking over. She sits beside me, and we both stare out at the trees in front of us. I’m outside on the chair that I spend a lot of time on, thinking.

“Just thinkin’ again,” I say, turning to look at her.

Summer is timid, beyond timid. She speaks softly, quietly, but she’s a good listener. She understands. She doesn’t think anything I say is fucked up, because she’s seen so much worse. All I wanted, was just someone to understand. I knew Willow would, but I couldn’t tell her, I couldn’t have her look at me differently. How could I? She’s my god damned wife. Summer, she’s different, she knows the mental torment.

“How is Willow?” she asks.

“She’s ok, still not talkin’ to me. I don’t know how to talk to her…”

“You need to fix it with her, Jagger, she’s hurting, she looks at me like I’m a monster.”

“She’s jealous,” I sigh, rubbing my temples.

“That’s because she doesn’t understand. From what I’ve heard, she spent months trying to help and you did nothing but abuse her, and now you’re opening up to another woman…”

“It’s not like that, Summer, you know…you know if I ever gave myself to a woman in this world, it would be my wife.”

“Then maybe she needs to know that.”

“What if I’m not ready? I don’t want to lead her on, give her hope…”

“You don’t have to make promises, just open up to her. You two have a long way to go before things are ok again, but let her know you want to try Jagger, tell her what you told me.”

“What happens if I don’t get it all back, what if I give her some little hope and my feelings don’t come flooding back. I know I want to talk to her, I know I want to fix this, but what if it’s not enough? What if it’s too late? What if the damage is already done?”

Summer sighs. “So many questions I can’t answer for you, only you know if you can fix this with her. Do you love her still?”

I sigh again. “I know I am drawn to her, I know lately my body has been noticing her again, I know that I feel my heart beating more and more when she’s around, but I don’t know if it’s love…or if it’s just an old feeling.”

“I don’t know how you can make yourself work this out, I do think you need to talk to her though, sort this out, let her know where you’re at.”

I know she’s right, I just don’t know where to start. I don’t know anything right now. This feeling can be almost worse than feeling nothing.

~*~*~*~*

WILLOW

Now I’m the numb one. I am hurting, but I’m blocking it off. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to see him with her anymore. See him talking to her for hours and hours. On the first night, they sat out talking until four am. Then he went to bed without a word. The next day, I disappeared home for two days. I couldn’t face it, couldn’t watch her help him when I couldn’t. I just couldn’t watch my husband disappear on me completely. When I got back, they were still talking, though Jagger’s face seemed less tormented. That’s when he tried to talk with me. He tried over and over, gripping my arm, asking me to listen, but I shoved him away.

I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to take his ‘goodbye, this is for the best’ bullshit any longer. I just can’t do it. I don’t want to do it. I don’t have to do it. It’s been five days now, since she showed up and while he’s improving, I’m drowning. Not just me, but Bull too. For some reason, there is some serious tension between he and Summer, yet no one can figure out why. When she first saw him, she clung to Jagger, all frightened. I couldn’t believe it. Bull? Really? She’s scared of Bull? Then I overheard them saying it had something to do with the rescue, I don’t know. Right now, I don’t really care.

“Willow, how are you feeling?”

I turn to see Ace standing at my door with a mug of coffee in hand. I turn away, not answering him.

“Aw, come on kid, it’s me.”

“I am fine, Ace.”

“Bullshit.”

He sits beside me on the bed. “Come on, talk to me.”

“What is there to say?” I whisper, my voice empty. “He’s confiding in another woman, we’re over.”

“He never said you were over.”

“He didn’t have to.”

“He’s been trying to talk to you.”