Dark Matter (21 page)

'I'm so glad we ran into each other.  I was going to call you, soon, but I didn't want to seem too keen.  That sounds bad, doesn't it?  I just mean that with everything I've been through recently I need a friend.  I've been on my own so much I've begun to wonder if life would ever return to normal.'

Severine, intrigued to hear about problems other than her own, leaned in closer, and asked her to go on.

'Well, three weeks ago I became single, jobless, and homeless all in the same week.  My position at work had been under review for some time, by boss was a real ass-hole, useless, he blamed me for all of his mistakes, but he was in tight with the manager and that, as they say, is that.  Anyway, he made this colossal cock-up, cost the company a lot of money and I got blamed again, so they let me go.  They had to give me money though, they knew they could never pin it on me, but I was really pissed off after that.  Then came the real problem, I needed someone to talk to, I tried talking to Claudette but she was working nights and I was sleeping through the days.  Her brother, François, came round one evening, Claudette having asked him to cheer me up.  Hah!  Well you can imagine I was in a right state.  I had been drinking and not eating properly so I was pretty wasted even before he got there, and he was so charming.  He had always been so.’

She stopped to light another Gauloises.  She had thought about the substance of what she would say from reading the case.  However, she was building the detail from Severine’s non-verbal responses.  She continued, confident she was gaining Severine’s trust.

‘Then it started to change, he kept saying how lucky Claudette was and that if he was her he wouldn't leave me alone at night.  I was flattered and I guess I may have been too critical of Claudette and too nice to him… when bam!  He leaps on me, I never realised he was so strong, I doubt I could have fought him off even if I had not been drinking.  What made it worse was he kept saying how he really liked me and that he knew I had always liked him.  Like that gave him the right or something?  Anyway, he left afterwards and I just waited until Claudette got home then I told her all about it.  She turned on me.  Saying how I must have seduced him and that I must have always fancied him.  I couldn't believe it, twice I needed her to be there for me, and twice she wasn't.  I left the next day.  I crashed on a friend’s sofa for a couple of weeks and then decided to get out of the city and head down here.  I know the area as I was based here when I was enlisted.  Sorry I've really gone on.  Please tell me more about yourself.  I remember you saying you are staying with your Aunt in Felletin.  Are you staying long?'  Anne-Marie had deliberately said Aunt instead of Grandmother, one more test in hundreds.

'It’s my grandmother's and I don't know how long I'll be staying..........I don’t really have any plans to go elsewhere, yet.'

'Oh, won't you need to get back to...?'  Anne-Marie left the question unfinished, hoping it would have the desired effect.  It did.

'No.  No, I've nothing to go back to.  Nothing at all.'

There it came, Anne-Marie was pleased to note.  All the details of her life, her poor upbringing in Paris, the emotional mother, and the father she so wanted to be like.  The constant disappointments with the army career that showed promise but never took off.  Then the final straw, the Lieutenant who had no morals, the board of inquiry weighted against her and so she had left.  She had come to the only place that had ever treated her well.  To the only person who had never let her down. 
This one is right,
Anne-Marie told herself,
I can feel it, I know it, she is ready
.

After the third bottle of wine, they headed over to Anne-Marie's apartment.  It was getting dark now, the streetlights giving a golden quality to the evening.  When Anne-Marie slipped her left arm around Severine's waist, she welcomed it.  The warmth, the closeness of a kindred spirit.  She was quite smitten with Anne-Marie; the invitation back to her apartment accepted without question.  The stairs seemed to sway gently as she climbed them, then a wave of panic came over her, her mind falling back to that night, her losing her ability to think, to function. 
No
, she thought about it clearly, as clearly as she could after a bottle and a half of wine. 
I should be swaying,
she thought,
and besides Anne-Marie is a good person, she has been through the same kind of trauma that I have, I can trust Anne-Marie....

In the apartment, Anne-Marie put on some music quietly.  Severine instantly froze.

'What's wrong?’  Anne-Marie asked, suddenly on guard.

'He...He put on music.'  Severine's voice was trembling; her face had lost a lot of its natural colour.

'Sorry, I'm so sorry.'  Anne-Marie said, switching off the music and opening the balcony doors.  'Shall we sit outside?'

'Thank you.  Thank you.'  The colour starting to return to her face, Severine sat at the table on the balcony, Anne-Marie preparing some coffee for them both.  She joined her on the balcony, a Gauloises in her hand.

'Do you have nightmares?'

'I don't know,' replied Severine, 'I tend to have issues in the day, like just now and when I was coming up the stairs I worried that I wasn't in control.  That I should be in control.  Then I remembered how much we both had to drink!' 

Severine laughed at this and Anne-Marie saw her transform before her eyes, the ghost gone, for the moment.  Anne-Marie made the decision then, Passive, with the lights on, let her go at her own speed and in her own way.  Make sure she is comfortable all the way.

'I should call my grandmother, that is, if you want me to stay.'  Severine looked at Anne-Marie, the fear of rejection evident upon her face and in her voice.

'Of course,' replied Anne-Marie, 'if that's what you want?'

'It is.'

09:40  07 November [08:40  07 November GMT]

Apartment of Anne-Marie, La Courtine, Central France.

The sun arrived that morning through the open balcony doors.  They had been cold in the night, colder than necessary, but they had slept in each other’s arms to maintain their warmth.  Neither had wanted to venture out of the bed to close the doors, for fear that the spell might be broken.

Anne-Marie opened her eyes and looked down at the face of the woman, asleep on her stomach. 
Such a pretty face,
she thought,
and such a woman!
  Even though it had been work, she had enjoyed herself.  Moreover, she had done such a great job of building trust the next phase could begin.  She needed to make a call, but it needed to be private.  'I'm going out to get us something for breakfast.'

Severine murmured an acknowledgement and Anne-Marie slid her arm out from under her.  She pulled on some jeans and a top and ventured out into the street.  She stopped and placed a call before going into the boulangerie. 

'It's me.  Yes, last night went well.  You should proceed now, whilst she is with me.'

Breakfast consisted of coffee, croissants, and jam.  The conversation was polite and not at all heavy.  Neither of them wanted to say or do anything to ruin the glow they both felt from the night before. 

'I should get back you know.'

'You are welcome to stay, you know that.’  Anne-Marie replied, surprising herself with the truth of that statement, a sense of guilt threaded its way up her spine and lodged itself in the base of her brain. 
That one is not going away any time soon
, she thought to herself.

'I know.  But if I don't go, how can I look forward to seeing you again?'

'OK, I give in.  You can leave....’  Anne-Marie grabbed Severine gently but firmly by the hand and, leading her back to bed, she whispered '…after lunch.'

12:35   07 November [11:35  07 November GMT]

Home of Mme Margaret-Julia Pascal, Felletin, Central France.

'Bonjour Madame Pascal, is Severine at home?'  Julia eyed the man with suspicion.  Dressed as a civilian she couldn’t mistake his military air. 

'Severine does not live here.  Would you like me to give her a message the next time I speak to here?'  Julia was determined not to give anything away,
after all this could be that Fleubert bastard...

'Just give her my card the next time you see or speak to her.’  He offered her one of his calling cards, 'I'll be in the area for a few days, if she happens to pop by.' 

The man smiled and left Julia on her own doorstep, looking at the card and wondering what was going on. 
If that was the man, I will hunt him down and kill him myself.

Severine arrived back in the early afternoon; Julia noticed the air about her had changed,
much for the better.
  Every time Sev looked at her, it was with a smile on her face, just like she had had when she was a little girl.  Julia explained about the strange encounter and described the man to Sev, thankful to know he could not have been Fleubert.  Severine, feeling happier with herself, decided to call straight away, rather than have it pray on her mind.

'Who is calling please?' the woman's voice was unfamiliar to Severine but it sounded well educated.

'Severine Pascal.'

'Thank you Mademoiselle Pascal, I will put your call through.'

'Ah Ms. Pascal, I am so glad you have called.  I guess you probably have a hundred questions for me, which I am willing to attempt to answer, but may I suggest that it would be easier in person.  I could call at your Grandmother's home this evening.  Say seven thirty, if that would be convenient?'

'Ye…yes,' Severine stammered, 'seven thirty is fine.'

'See you then.  à bientôt.'

The line went dead.  The man had simply ended the call.  Severine looked at her grandmother.

'He is coming round at seven thirty.'  Severine could hardly believe it.

Julia hoped the man would be bringing good news. 

The man arrived promptly and introduced himself as Monsieur Chevalier.  He entered without being invited, but that seemed both OK and natural.  They waited for him to be seated before taking their own places.

'I would like to tell you why I am here, why I have looked you up and as much as I can, which I'm afraid will actually be very little.'  Monsieur Chevalier began.  'I am here to offer you a job, a career, a vocation, how much will depend upon you.  I have looked you up because I know a lot about you; you have served without apparent distinction for thirteen years, all you have ever known is the army.  You never really found your place, moving through the army only sideways, never upwards.  Finally, you faced Courts Martial where you plea-bargained your way out of not only prison but also a dishonourable discharge.  There, have I missed anything out?'

Severine had gone quite pale.  To have her career, her life summed up in such a fashion would test anyone's character, but then to have her rape at the hands of Fleubert misconstrued as being in some way her fault...  Severine however remained composed.  She placed a gentle hand on her grandmother's, sensing her growing anger too.  When she spoke, it was with quiet dignity.

'That's all correct, that is an accurate summary of the official record of my career.'

Severine matched Chevalier's gaze, never wavering for a second.

'I see.' he continued, meeting her eye, 'There is however the matter of the unofficial record.'

'The unofficial record?’  Severine said raising an innocent eyebrow.

'Yes, yours in particular makes for very interesting reading.'

'Nana,' Severine's heart raced as she felt the need to have her grandmother out of the room.  'Could you be a darling and make us some fresh coffee?'

'It's OK,' Chevalier said to Severine, 'I think it is about time your Grandmother knew the truth.'

'What truth, what are you talking about?  Will someone please tell me what is going on?'

Chevalier waved down Severine's continued objections.  'You see, Severine has been on many unofficial missions.  Official unofficial missions that is.'

'Black Ops you mean?'  Julia interrupted, wanting to show that at ninety-two she hadn't lost it yet.

'Yes, your granddaughter has acquitted herself very well, very well indeed by all accounts.'

Chevalier went on to tell Julia about some of the special operations that Severine had undertaken.  The danger she had faced, the courage she had shown and the friends she had lost and all the time never being able to tell anyone about it.  Never seeing her official career blossom.  It was most unfair he agreed, most unfair indeed.  However, they had recognised her talents and now they wanted her to resume special operations, this time permanently.

'I won't ask you to make a decision now.’  Chevalier said, standing to leave, ‘Take some time to think about it, talk it over and when you've made up your mind give me a call.'

Julia poured two glasses of wine and holding one out she offered her granddaughter a salute.

'But I haven't decided to take the offer.'  She pleaded.

'I know dear, I know, but here is to the opportunity.'