Dark of kNight (14 page)

Deep inside my heart, I felt the crushing waves again. No box could contain all of the emotions that welled inside of me. There was no grief or sorrow. Suffering a few moments was like an eternity of torment. Hard as I tried to free myself from the agony, there was nowhere to run or hide. There was no way of knowing when relief would come and deliver me from these chains. The chains of love wrapped tightly around my heart. How could something so beautiful, so wonderful hurt so badly? I would gladly take a room filled with a thousand people and stand in the middle of the room, rather than deal with this type of anguish.

Close to Daniel‘s home, I realized I needed to stop by my house to pick up my clothes. I reached for my phone and decided to call Charlotte and let her know what I had planned and would be over in a few minutes. This is one time I didn’t want to be alone. I was afraid to be. Afraid that I would go mad in the state I was in.

Pulling up to the house, I noticed the police cars and animal control trucks were gone. Relieved, I jumped out of the car and headed into the house to pack my bags. There was something odd about the blond haired police officer. Rushing, I grabbed everything I could think I needed for three days. I figured if I forgot something, there was always Casey.

I ran back down the stairs and locked the door behind me. Now back to the Maxwell’s again. Maybe I should have just stayed with them after all.

Pulling the car up to the garage, I noticed Casey climbing into her BMW.

“Hey.” I waved to her. “Where are you going?”

“I’m meeting Nathaniel at the Library, afterwards we’re going to have lunch. I’ll see you this evening,” she said with a smile.

For a long moment, I stood at the garage and watched her drive off. Still caught in my own turmoil, I needed a distraction. Opening the trunk of my car, I pulled the suitcase out again. Here we go again, I thought. Slowly, I walked through the garage and into the house.

“Charlotte? I’m back,” I called out to her.

“Okay, dear.”

Taking my things to the spare bedroom, I did not even feel like unpacking. Placing the suitcase next to the door, I flung myself across the bed. The turmoil still raged inside me. My eyes closed tightly while I willed the pain to subside. There was no relief. The thoughts of Daniel flooded my mind, seeing his face, touching his lips to mine and the softness in his voice when he said “I love you.“ How could all this have happened so quickly?

“Are you all right, dear?” Her voice was soft as she stood in the doorway.

“No,” I whispered.

Charlotte moved toward me and sat on the bed. Her hand touched my arm lightly. “Julie, do you want to talk about it? I know something is bothering you.” She smiled. “Call it a mother’s intuition.”

“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I feel miserable.” My words rambled out. I closed my eyes tightly. “It feels like I’m going mad. Charlotte, I feel so confused.”

“Oh, I see,” her voice gentle and concerned. “Let me see if I can shed some light on this.” She paused for a moment, while she carefully sorted her words. Charlotte always pondered a moment before she spoke. “Well, you have been through a lot lately, with your father’s death and all. Then with these terrible killings around our front door, I can see where this would bring a certain fear. This is the reason that Thomas and I wanted you to stay with us, to be safe.” Listening, I didn’t dare speak.

“Then, well, there’s Daniel.” The waves crashed hard against my heart when she spoke his name. My heart burned into an oblivion of pain. “There is something that I have never seen before with Daniel.” I opened my eyes and looked at her.

“From the first day he saw you, I saw something in him. There is warmth in his eyes when he looks at you. The way he stands close to you. Even at the wake, I noticed that he never left your side not even once. It reminded me of Thomas and I when we were young.

“Thomas was the same way, very dreamy and always overly protective of me. He had told me one time, he was just guarding his heart. I thought that meant he was being cautious of letting his heart go out to me, but he told me that I was his heart. I fell in love with him instantly. I couldn't deny how I felt when I was with him. He provided the safety I needed. Although, you may see him as a hardnosed obnoxious attorney, he was and still is, an old softy when it comes to me.

“I guess what I am trying to tell you, Julie, I know how you feel. Sweetheart, you are in love. Sometimes, when it first happens, it can be very confusing. You have all of the extra emotions you do not understand. I know I did.”

“So what did you do?” I asked still wary of the answer.

Her smile broadened on her beautiful face, “What do you think? I married the man. I found that I couldn't be away from him. He was a part of me and I was a part of him. We were whole when we were together. That is what is going on with you right now. See, sometimes it does not take a person a long time to fall in love when the right one is right in front of them. It truly happens on a level that is different from anything that the mind can comprehend. It is like two lost souls searching for something and finding each other. It is fate dear. You and Daniel have found something in each other, something that you desire. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. I know my son, and I know he will never leave you; it is not in his nature. So don’t worry, he will be back.”

“What can I do in the meantime? I mean I feel so… well… ” I tried but the words were not coming.

“Distract yourself. Find something to do.”

I thought for a moment, and then the idea hit me. “I did promise him I would cook dinner.” My eyes widened and I sat straight up in the bed. “Charlotte, will you help me?”

“Of course I will. I can tell you his favorite dish is duck. We will put together a dish that will absolutely blow his mind. I will make a list of a few things to get then we will start preparing it Wednesday morning. We will have it ready for you to cook it when he arrives. I will take care of the extra guests. It will be great.”

“Thank you.” My eyes filled with tears I reached out with my arms around her tightly.

“You are welcome. I want you to just relax and take a nap. Let your mind relax. I will be downstairs if you need me. I have a lot of planning to do.” She smiled, walked toward the blinds, and closed them. On the way out the door, she turned the lights off and closed the door.

The room wasn’t completely dark, but it felt comfortable enough for me to close my eyes and relax. There were many ideas of how to keep myself preoccupied until Daniel returned. Learning how to cook would definitely be on my list. Maybe the days would go by quickly. I could only hope. Relaxing into the softness of the pillows, I closed my eyes. Letting my body relax, I drifted.

EIGHT

The bedroom was brighter than what I remembered before I closed my eyes yesterday evening. Lazily, I climbed out of bed and walked over to open the blinds. The sun was bright in the sky. The dew glistened from the sun’s rays on the beautiful rose garden below. It suddenly dawned on me, that it was Monday morning. I had slept for over twelve hours. Charlotte must have been right that I needed the rest. A refreshed feeling swept over me. I turned and glanced at the clock, it was already six-thirty.

Today, I wanted to go into town and talk with Dr. Miller about my dreams. Maybe he could give me something that would help. Dashing out of the bedroom, I headed for the shower. The hot water felt good on my skin. As I awoke, the thoughts of yesterday traveled back to me. At least, after the conversation with Charlotte, it made since that I had fallen in love with Daniel.

The signs were there, and whether I recognized them with or without her help was another question left unanswered. My torment was soothed, at last. The only anxiety that remained was when I would see him. Feeling him close to me and longing for his lips to touch mine again. Yes, I was utterly in love with Daniel James Maxwell.

I finished my long shower and dressed. Rushing through my makeup, I headed down the stairs. The aroma of food drew me in like a magnet. Walking into the kitchen, I saw Charlotte and Thomas sitting at the breakfast nook. Casey sat at the counter picking through her plate of food. There was someone new in the kitchen, a woman of medium height and slightly heavy set who appeared to be in her mid-forties. The dark hair was a mixture of grey and silver tones as it accented her round face.

“Good morning, sleepy head.” Thomas shot at me over the morning paper.

“Good morning,” I replied with a gentle smile.

“Did you sleep well?” Charlotte asked.

“Yes, I did. Thank you.” The thank you was sincerely for everything Charlotte had given me. She smiled and gave me a gentle nod. It would be our mother-daughter conversation.

“This is Rose. She is our cook.” I glanced up at the heavier set woman in the kitchen. Charlotte’s tone was soft. “She graduated with high honors in her culinary class. Rose came to Thomas looking for a job a few years ago. She is a very talented woman, and we are very proud to have her.”

Sitting down beside Casey, I glanced over at her plate. Before I had the chance to settle in my chair, a plate was set in front of me. Eggs Benedict, my favorite.

Leaning over to Casey, I whispered softly so only she could hear. “
So, how was the movie?”

Casey’s head perked up and her eyes flickered with excitement. “
Great!”
she whispered back.

“So you’ll tell me all about it?”
I kept my voice low. She nodded and smiled.

“Can’t wait.”
Her beautiful face was so bright with excitement. I knew in that moment she really liked this person.

The new relationship seemed to make Casey happy. Her eyes twinkled whenever she mentioned his name. I couldn’t understand why they would disapprove of this person.

The conversation with Charlotte let me know that she approved of me because it made Daniel happy as well. Was there really such a big difference? The young man was attending college, so it was not as if he was a freeloader looking for a rich girl to support him. He must have a few goals in mind. Maybe it was Casey’s time to find true love. If I found it, then I was sure she would.

Distracting me from my thoughts, I heard Thomas's chair move. He folded the newspaper and placed it on the table. Kissing Charlotte on the cheek, he squeezed her shoulder slightly and looked toward Casey and me. For the first time, I noticed how loving he was toward her. A radiant glow emanated around her as he kissed her cheek. I pursed my lips together in a smile. After all those years of being married, they were still in love. I wondered if this was something I had to look forward to with Daniel. Hope burned brightly.

“Well, ladies, I must be off to the office. I have a big case today. I will see you later on this evening.” Thomas said, and then disappeared through the living room.

“So, what are you two going to do today?” Charlotte broke in.

“I have to go to the Library for my homework assignment.” Casey shot out quickly.

“I thought I would run into town.” I added.

“I have a list of things for you to pick up. What we discussed yesterday?” Charlotte stood and walked over to the counter. She pulled out a slip of paper from underneath one of the decorative vases, and handed it to me.

Holding the paper, I opened it. It was a shopping list. She handed me two one hundred dollar bills.

“I think this is too much?”

“Not exactly. Go to Ralph’s Liquors and tell him you are buying the cognac for me. Give him the hundred-dollar bill. He’ll get you the bottle and put it on my tab.”

Maybe I didn't understand all of this. I looked at her, and then heard Casey chime in.

“The hundred is just for getting the cognac here. It’s a special order item, and he buys it in a case. Mom pays for the shipping. The cognac actually costs five hundred dollars.”

My mouth flew open.

“Julie, don’t look so surprised. You cannot make this unless we have the cognac for the sauce. Trust me. Besides, I ran out a few weeks ago. Thomas got a little stressed and decided to have a few glasses.” A soft laugh came out.

“Well, I guess I’ll be on my way then,” I said, shoving the note and money in my pocket. I turned to Casey. “I’ll talk to you this evening?”

“You bet!” she said hugging my neck.

Off again. As I drove, I sensed that everything was going to work out, and things were going to be perfect. If my way of thinking was a delusion, then I wanted to enjoy it as long as it lasted. My mind filled with more pressing thoughts, concerning my dreams and their meaning. Daniel would have to take a back seat for the moment.

A red glow came from the dashboard of my car as I approached my exit. I glanced down at the control panel, and saw the check engine light was on. Lovely. I’ve had this car for a week, and now something is wrong with it. It wasn’t flashing, so I figured I still had time to take care of first things first, Dr. Miller.

Pulling into the parking lot of his office, I hopped out of the car and headed through the large doors. The waiting room was not crowded, so I thought there was a good chance I could get in to see him. I walked toward the receptionist and stood in front of the large windows. A moment later, she turned her attention to me.

“May I help you?”

“Yes, I’m here to see Dr. Miller?”

“Do you have an appointment?” the short brown haired woman asked in a flat tone.

“No. I was hoping he had an opening this morning.”

“Dr. Miller is booked solid today. I can make you an appointment for… ” she trailed off while she typed quickly on the computer. “Next week at ten.”

“No, that’s no good,” I persisted. “I really need to see him today. Please tell him it’s Julie Knight.”

The irritated receptionist picked up the phone and called his nurse. I heard her sarcastic tone when she looked away from me. “Yes, I told her he was booked today. She said her name is Julie Knight,” she paused. “Okay, thank you.” A bit more deferential, her attention turned back toward me, “Wait here just a moment, the nurse is checking with the doctor.”

The feeling that I used my name to obtain what I wanted was a horrible one. It was necessary, I thought. There was no more time to wait; there were answers that I needed.