Dark Rider (37 page)

He joined her a moment later and placed her cloak around her shoulders. “You probably don’t need this. I doubt if you’re feeling the cold.”

“Where’s Bradford?” she asked as he helped her down the steps.

“He’s coming. I’ll take you back to the castle in my carriage, and he’ll bring Lani and Josette.” He motioned to the coachman. “I believe it’s best I get you out of here as soon as possible.”

She didn’t argue as he helped her into his carriage and then settled onto the seat across from her. She wanted nothing more than to escape the place now that the deed was done. She drew the cloak closer about her. Jared was right: she didn’t feel the cold, but
she was shaking with the aftereffects of that terrible anger.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the lights of Carradine House faded in the distance.

“Would you have done it?” Jared suddenly asked.

“Butchered her? Don’t be ridiculous. Even that … that … gargoyle’s life has some worth. But I would have frightened her so badly that she would never have felt safe again.”

“I’m not sure she will now.”

“Good.” Cassie leaned back and closed her eyes. The trembling was becoming worse. Perhaps if she feigned sleep, he wouldn’t notice.

He didn’t speak for a long time, and she thought she had succeeded in deceiving him. Then he said roughly, “Stop shaking, dammit.”

“It’s cold.”

“Stop it!”

Her lids flew open and she said fiercely, “I can’t stop it. If you don’t want to see it, close your eyes. It’s not as if you—”

“Shut up.” He was beside her on the seat, his arms sliding beneath the cloak to draw her close. “Just shut up.”

Strength and support flowed out of him, enveloping her in a warm haze. She should push him away, show him she didn’t need him. Dear God, but she
did
need him. Perhaps it would be all right to accept comfort for just a little while.

She relaxed against him. “I’ll be better soon. It’s been … a difficult night.”

“For all of us.” His arms tightened around her. “And you tried your best to make it impossible.”

She sensed he wasn’t talking about Carolyn or Lani. “You weren’t being fair.”

He didn’t answer.

It appeared he was not going to argue with her. Relief flowed through her. She’d had enough conflict and challenges tonight. She was glad he wasn’t angry.

He really wasn’t angry, she thought suddenly. She could sense annoyance but not anger. He had been furious earlier in the evening, and her attack on Lady Carradine should have added fuel to the fire. Why had it not done so? She had been so absorbed with Lady Carradine that she scarcely noticed Jared’s response, but now that she thought back, she remembered he had not aligned himself against her. She had ruined all his plans, but he had refused to abandon her. His support was bewildering.

“Why didn’t you— Lady Carradine was very angry with you.”

“Yes.”

“She’ll find a way to punish you.”

“You give her too much credit.”

“Josette.”

“I don’t believe Josette will be returning to Lady Carradine’s School for Young Ladies.”

“Won’t that enrage her? You said her influence could destroy Josette’s position with the ton.”

“I’ll find a way to deal with her.”

“How?”

“I’ll destroy her.” The words were offhand, spoken with a complete lack of expression. “She’s set herself to be an example of virtue and good taste. With a few ungentlemanly words spoken at the right time, to the right people … It shouldn’t be difficult to destroy that image.”

The ruthlessness of the statement had shocked her—but it shouldn’t have. That ruthlessness had driven
her father from the island and sent her in pursuit. “You would do that to her?”

He suddenly chuckled. “At least I didn’t say I’d butcher her and throw her flesh in a sack.” He paused. “Yes, I’ll do it if she hurts Josette. I may even do it if she doesn’t.”

“Why?”

“She lied to me and she didn’t play fair.”

She shouldn’t have had to ask. Justice was important to him, and Lady Carradine had committed a transgression he couldn’t forgive. “You believed me?”

“I saw her face.” He added, “But I would have believed you anyway. I’ve found to my misfortune that you’re honest to a fault.”

She was silent a moment, and when she spoke, her words were muffled. “I’m sorry I caused you and Josette trouble. I had to do it.”

“I know you did. Kanoa was in the ascendancy.”

She said haltingly, “I thank you for understanding I couldn’t—”

“Understand?” He pushed her back, looked into her face, and asked harshly, “Why the devil are you thanking me? Did you think I don’t know that I’m to blame for what happened tonight? I trusted Carolyn, and because of my misjudgment Lani was hurt and you were distressed. You owe me no gratitude for being a fool.”

“You weren’t a fool. She was very clever and—”

“I made a mistake and others suffered for it.” His lips twisted. “Which means reparations must be made.”

“Lady Carradine already made reparations.”

“Not for my blunder.” His tone sharpened with frustration. “Christ, don’t you know I want to believe I owe you nothing? At last, you made me angry
enough to forget how vulnerable you are. If this hadn’t happened, you’d have been in my bed tonight.”

“No!”

“Yes!” His eyes blazed down at her. “You wanted it. You may have worn that gown for Lani, but everything you did afterward was for me. You meant to goad me until I forced you to take what you wanted.”

Was it true? Her deliberate acts of provocation had not been at all like her. She had seen him with Carolyn and been filled with anger. Anger or jealousy?

“Don’t worry, it won’t happen now,” he said. “Not until I find a way to rid myself of this damn guilt.” His hands opened and closed on her shoulders. “Which better be soon.”

She had wanted him and had tried to take him. She had acted blindly, and the instinctive response frightened her. How could she be sure it wouldn’t happen again?

“Let me go,” she whispered.

His hands tightened on her shoulders and then fell away from her. “Not for long.” He moved back to his seat across from her. “I swear to you, not for long, Cassie.”

She leaned back and closed her eyes again, trying to shut him out. She could sense his gaze on her face, feel his presence as if he were still touching her.

Dear God, she could not close him away. She might never be able to do it again.

“
A
re you awake?” Lani whispered from the doorway.

“Yes.” Cassie turned over on her bed to face the door. Lani was still in her ball gown; she must have barely arrived. “I’ve just gotten to bed. I’ll get up.”

“No, we’ll talk in the morning. I’ll stay only a moment.” Lani glided forward, set the candlestick down on the bedside table, then sat on the edge of the bed. “I just had to know how you did it.”

“I threatened her with the death Kalaniopuu dealt Cook.”

Lani threw back her head, and her rich laughter rang out. “And she believed you?”

“Josette said she was a coward. I was angry. You would have believed me, too.”

A smile lingered on her lips. “Perhaps.” She bent forward and brushed Cassie’s forehead with a kiss. “You should not have done it, but it pleases me that you did. It’s good to have a loving friend.” She picked up the candlestick and moved toward the door. “Good night, Kanoa. Sleep well.”

Jared had said Kanoa was on the ascendancy, and now Lani was calling her by her Hawaiian name. Perhaps she had been more fierce than she had thought tonight.

Lani paused at the door and glanced back at her. “Kalaniopuu, truly?”

“It seemed appropriate.”

“Oh yes, extremely.” Lani’s lips were still twitching as she gently shut the door.

Bradford straightened away from the wall. “Did you find out what our tiger did to the bitch?”

“Only a threat.” Lani smiled. “But an exceptionally intimidating one.” She started down the hallway. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going to your bed.”

“Not until I was sure all was well with you. I knew you’d go first to Cassie.” He fell into step with her. “I’ll escort you to your room.”

“That’s not necessary. I do know the way.”

He said with sudden violence, “For God’s sake, let me do
something
for you.”

She looked at him in astonishment. She had never seen urbane, mocking Bradford this upset. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides as he strode beside her down the hall.

“And don’t stare at me as if there were something outrageous about my wanting to protect you. It makes me want to shake you.”

“I cannot see how you can want to do both. The two seem to be at odds.”

“Not when a man is as frustrated as I am. Do you know how much I envied Cassie tonight? I stood there and watched her defend you, not even knowing from what insult. You didn’t let me know. You
wouldn’t let me help you. You never let me close enough to—”

“I didn’t need defending,” she interrupted. “It would have been better if Cassie had let it alone. She may have done harm to Josette.”

“And the harm to Lani doesn’t matter?”

“Those people could not hurt me unless I let them hurt me.”

“They hurt you. I saw it in your face.”

“Then you were mistaken.” They had reached her door and her hand grasped the knob. “You don’t know me well enough to read me.”

“The hell I don’t!” His hands on her shoulders, he jerked her around to face him. His eyes blazed down at her. “I know you better than anyone in this world. I know your pride and your generosity, your intelligence and your stubbornness. I know you’d go through the fires of Hades for anyone you cared about, and I want to be one of those people. I want it so badly it hurts me.”

His lips crushed down on her mouth.

Sensuality and passion enveloped her, taking her breath, sending heat spiraling through her. His action was so sudden she had no time to lift barriers against it. Instinctively her mouth opened and his tongue entered her. Her breasts were swelling against the broad wall of his chest, and she felt the familiar hot, tingling yearning between her thighs.

He lifted his head and said hoarsely, “You see, this is what we could have. You need me.”

Dazed, she gazed up at him. In this moment he was totally masculine, totally sensual, and she was responding as helplessly as she had when she was a young girl with her first man.

Triumph blazed in his expression.

Her arms slowly slid around his neck and her head tilted back.
Yes, come to me. Let my body sing. Let us join in the dance of—

No!

She jerked away from him and stepped back so hurriedly she bumped against the door. She shuddered as she realized how close she had come to yielding.

“Don’t do this. You need me.”

She drew a shaky breath. “I don’t need you.” She had to drive a wedge between them. “I just need a man.”

Hurt flickered across his rough features, and then he forced a smile. “Then take me. I’m at your disposal.”

She shook her head. “Charles would not like it.”

“You wouldn’t have to tell him.” His smile became self-mocking. “You see how low I’ve fallen. I’m even willing to share you with him. I’ll take you any way I can get you. What a pitiful specimen I’m turning out to be.”

His bitterness hurt her. “You’re not pitiful. You’re a fine man.” She paused and then said in a rush, “Even if there were no Charles, can’t you see it would not be good between us? You were there tonight. Your friends think me a savage. They would never accept me.”

“Then they will no longer be my friends.”

“I do not like your England.”

“Then we’ll go wherever you like.”

She shook her head in despair. “You would be sorry you married me.”

“Shall we see? Go get your cloak and we’ll be off to Gretna Green. By morning we’ll be wed.” His boyish smile was eager. “Let me show you how I can love
you, Lani. I’ll care for your needs, I’ll satisfy your body. I’ll never ask you to say you love me. I won’t ask anything but that you let me love.”

She closed her eyes. She could imagine what it would be like to let herself be loved by Bradford. Passionate, warm, and yet with a multitude of sweet challenges. He would keep her safe and value her. She had never known a love like that. All her life she had been the one to give. What a lovely life it—

Her lids flicked open as she realized where that path was leading her. She could not believe how tempted she had been. Honor and loyalty forbade her even considering Bradford’s plea. “Impossible.” She suddenly found her eyes stinging with tears, and she turned her back and fumbled for the knob. “I’ve told you before I cannot listen to this. I love only Charles.”

“No, you don’t,” he said fiercely. “You may care about Deville, but, by God, you care about me, too. Every day it’s growing. In another month you won’t even remember what it was like to do without me.”

She fled inside her room and slammed the door behind her.

Her chest was constricted, and she couldn’t breathe without wanting to weep. The last few minutes had been more agonizing than those hideous hours at Carradine House. Dear God, she did not want to hurt Bradford. The last thing in the world she wanted was to cause him sadness or distress.