Dark Thief (The Two Sides of Me Book 2) (2 page)

I smell food cooking and roll over tangling my legs in a soft comforter before reality cruelly comes rushing back. Sitting bolt upright in an unfamiliar room my head spins and nausea hits me…hard. Bathroom, bathroom, I need a bathroom
now
. A door to my right seems like the logical location and I try to swing my legs off the bed but my frail condition doesn’t allow it and I vomit over the side of the bed onto the grey stone floor. While retching sour bile repeatedly, tears spring to my eyes and this is how he finds me.

Clutching the sheets at the edge of the bed my hair hanging almost to the floor sticking to the beads of cold sweat on my forehead I come face to face again with my beloved dark thief. The one responsible for my current condition, the one I am savagely angry with. Never have I known a person to be so completely implacable, he knows no boundaries, no limits. Evan attempted to scoop my hair away from my face and move me back into the bed but I’m having none of it.

“Don’t touch me you kidnapper!” He removes his hands from me and looks shocked. “Kidnapper? Mia you can’t possibly, well I guess you would believe that wouldn’t you?” “Seriously, Evan, you never thought of that, it never occurred to you that this could be the worst fucking mistake? Kidnapping and drugging your ex-girlfriend from her hospital bed when she has a history of exactly THAT!”

Screeching, my voice cracking, body trembling, I look at him standing there seemingly oblivious of his actions.  The situation is unfathomable to him, it’s time he knew my past, the whole thing, not just the abbreviated version. He needs to understand what he’s done here and he needs to know now.  Now to calm down enough to tell him though is going to take monumental effort on my part.

“Evan, I need to be alone, you need to leave me alone now or so help me.”  “I’m going to help you get cleaned up first and then I’ll give you time.” I sigh heavily and acquesces, I know this man to well, I’ll get nowhere if I oppose him.”  “Ok, clean up, bathroom and then you go, I mean it I’m so pissed at you Evan Lawson, you are so lucky I’m weak or I’d find a way to kill you I swear.” 

Straightening his posture he leaves the room and returns with cleaning supplies. He begins to work at cleaning up the mess but not before I catch that inkling of a satisfied twitchy smirk he tries to hide. He knew he’d won that confrontation before the fight had even begun, no matter how angry I am he knows I’m addicted to him. Maybe it’s a fight that he wants?

Wet wipes are among the things he brought in his cleaning caddy and he hands me a couple I assume to wipe the vomit from my mouth. I grab it and clean my face before handing them back like a child handing their mother their stale gum or a bite of rejected food. He cringes but moves toward the door that I earlier assumed led to the bathroom. I was right, it’s an ensuite.

I watch him move gracefully back to the bedside in bare feet and the soft worn jeans that I love so much. It’s not until I notice that he is squatting down that it dawns on me, he’s
walking
! I’ve never known Evan to walk without the aid of crutches and I am truly awestruck. I’m dying to say something but if I start to converse with him he will take it as forgiveness and he is absolutely not forgiven!

As weak and nauseated as I am I still feel that undeniable thread stretching between us, connecting us in an otherworldly way, magnets drawn to each other powerless to deny the attraction. I had almost forgotten Evan’s obsession for sterile cleanliness, his shoulders strain against the teal blue t-shirt he wears, every muscle flowing in perfect unity. I tear my eyes from the winsome man scouring the stone floor and take in my surroundings. I want to know where the hell he has flown me but I’m too stubborn to ask.

The bed I lay in is queen sized with a similar canopy to the one in
my room
at Evan’s home in Seattle. The gauze replaced with a heavier white curtain material pulled closed all the way around except for the side I attempted to exit from. There is a large window behind Evan with long grey drapes that touch the floor, they are open just a crack allowing a sliver of light to streak across the room and over Evan’s back. The floors are stone grey but other than that the room is obscured from my view by the canopy curtains.

I flop back against the mound of pillows and take a deep breath, yuck, I need to brush my teeth.  How long has it been since I brushed my teeth anyway? Evan finishes the floor and disappears with the bucket. When he returns I’ve finally got my bearings and I think I can make it to the bathroom, with his help of course because I agreed to let him, and he would no doubt hold me to it. Standing at the edge of the bed he places one knee on the mattress and it dips under his weight, reaching across he scoops me up like I’m nothing at all and starts toward the bathroom. I tuck my hands in my lap refusing to touch him.  I am beyond mad and he makes it worse when out of the corner of my eye I see him smile and I feel him softly chuckle at my stubbornness. “If you were standing up baby you’d be stomping that adorable little foot of yours wouldn’t you?” “Fuck you.” Shit…did I just say that? Hell yea I did! Evan’s eyebrows raise in surprise at my retaliation, he recoils and then once again I realize I just stepped into big time shit with that comment.

“Oh believe me Mia, when I fatten you up a little and get you well I’ll fuck you all right.” We are just inside the bathroom and I use what little strength I have left to wiggle out of his arms and back away from him. “You, you, fuck I’m so mad at you right now I can’t even talk!” “Then don’t” he says smugly.  I absolutely cannot be in the same room with him anymore. “Get. Out.” “No.”  “Yes.” “Mia, no, you’re weak and I’m worried about you…and I love you.” I sag in defeat and he realizes as usual, that he has won. Tears of frustration fill my big blue eyes and spill down my cheeks while he gathers me into his strong arms sitting me on a small padded bench next to an old claw foot tub.

Kneeling in front of me while I sit pathetically, head bowed, hair falling to veil my face from him. I feel his hands smooth from my ankles up to my knees and then he crooks his finger under my chin so we are eye to eye. I imagine I must look like some sort of starved wild animal with my crazy hair, 98 pound frame and puke breath. “I’m hideous, don’t look at me.”

He continues to hold my chin but I lower my gaze to the floor. “You are not hideous baby, just sick, and that is my fault. I should never have left you so long, I thought you would come out of it. I don’t know why because I was dying inside as well.” I sniff loudly and he reaches behind me for a tissue. “Blow” he orders like I’m a two year old, but I blow. “You didn’t leave me, I left you.” I say in a small voice. “Yes you did. But I knew you were going and I allowed it. I didn’t want you to leave but I thought it would be easier to let you work through it, come to grips with your fears. I misjudged your stubbornness, so fucking stubborn.”

He shakes his head back and forth sighing. “I love you too you know.” I admit. He leans forward onto his knees between my scrawny legs and grabbing me into a fierce embrace, one arm around my waist and the other on the back of my head he guides my face into the warm curve of his neck. I breathe him in and life begins again, my quiet broken heart finally starts to beat and I hold on tight feeling that familiar magnetic pull between us. God knows I can’t live without him, plain and simple we belong together.

I don’t even realize I’m sobbing until I feel him stroking up and down my spine, shushing me. “We’re going to be ok baby, don’t cry. Remember, I told you nothing could touch us as long as we are together?” “Mmmhmm.” I nod and he moves me away from his body, hands on either side of my face he wipes my tears with his thumbs and kisses the tip of my nose.

“Bath and teeth.” “What?” “You need a bath and to brush your teeth baby, and then back to bed with you.” I suddenly remember I have no fucking idea where I am and why the hell was Callie on that airplane drugging me with IV medication. His hands are still on my face and I grab his wrists. “Where am I and why was Callie with us?” Twisting my hands off of his wrists he places them in my lap while he stands and begins preparing a bath.

“We are in Italy, in my Aunt Sophia’s house and Callie accompanied us on the plane to help me, she’s on her way back to the states now.” He answers nonchalantly, like flying me across the world drugged and assisted by one of my closest co-workers is a common everyday occurrence! “ITALY?! You fucking flew me to Italy? Why Evan?” I yell, my voice hoarse from lack of use and vomiting. He’s starting the water now, pulling bottles of this and that from a cupboard on the wall and stacking two huge, thick soft bath sheets on the counter next to the sink. “Because you can’t run from me here.”

My mouth drops open in shock and he approaches me bending to take ahold of the edge of whatever I’m wearing, I haven’t even looked at what I have on between puking all over the floor and being carried into the bathroom, I think I’m in shock. “Up.” He orders and I obey raising my arms while he drags the unfamiliar satin night gown over my head leaving me naked and chilly. “Let me take care of you baby, no more worrying, it’s my turn to fix you.”

I’m too tired to argue with that and I allow him to lift me and place me into the tub where the hot water forms a layer of steam rising just above the surface. Mmmmm, why is he always right?  This feels heavenly and I moan in appreciation letting my anger and shock evaporate along with the steam. “That’s a good girl, relax now.” An old ceramic pitcher painted with lavender roses magically appears in his hand and he stands at one end of the tub dipping it in the water and pouring it over my head, smoothing my hair back with his other hand making sure no water runs down onto my face.

Keeping my eyes closed I hear the click of a bottle and then feel him massaging shampoo into my hair. I’m so relaxed now I may slip underwater and drown. Evan repeats the process twice followed by a thorough conditioning after which he twists my hair into a fat wet braid and gives it a gentle tug. “Better?” “Much. Thank you.” “Oh, I’m not done yet, we still have your body and teeth, and you will sparkle when I’m finished with you. Then I’m cooking you an early dinner and tucking you into bed.”

I open my eyes and look at his upside down face. “You’re crazy,” I say.  “I know” he answers. With that he continues his tender and gentle pampering until I am indeed sparkling, well as much as I can be in my condition. “I’m going into the kitchen, you need to change your tampon.  You started your period during our trip.” And off he goes…just like that.

My tampon? I slide my hand between my legs to find a string, he didn’t, oh yes he did. How could I have possibly slept through that?  And how humiliating, I can’t imagine how that all went down. I shake my head to rid my mind of the picture that was forming there, yuck. I need to find a way to get back at him for all of this, there has to be something…I’ll be sure to think on that and put it on the
deal with this later shelf
. I wash my hands after taking care of my
feminine hygiene
myself
and tip toe across the cold stone floor.

The bed is cold as well, shouldn’t it be warm in Italy? Actually no, it’s almost Christmas, its winter here too. I know nothing about the climate here, or even what part of Italy we’re in.   I’m dying to explore but I’m so weak I can’t even make it to the window right now. Better to snuggle up and attempt to be warm until Evan brings me something to eat and more importantly himself. This is such a role reversal, just months ago he was stuck in bed requiring round the clock care…vulnerable. Now the tables are turned and here I lay, at his mercy.

We need to talk about the seriousness of my past, and how stealing me away from the hospital still feels like a monumental breach of trust. Burying myself in the thick down comforter I let my thoughts wander. It’s almost Christmas and we are in Italy, is he planning on keeping me here long? Christmas in Italy with Evan, I can think of a million ways this mess could have turned out but being reunited with Evan in Italy was never on the list.

Spending the holidays in one of the most romantic countries on earth is sounding pretty good to me. Actually just being back in Evan’s life is incomparable to any holiday, anywhere, anytime with anyone. Where he is I am home, so for now Italy is home.

The smell of burning wood and mouthwatering food wafts through the air as my eyes flutter open. I must have dozed off, how could my body possibly require any more sleep? The curtains around the bed have been drawn back and tied with thick silver ribbons so I’m able to see the entire room now. A small fireplace at the opposite end of the modest sized room blazes. Evan is standing next to it one hand on the mantel the other poking with an iron rod that causes the flames to jump and snap.

I haven’t moved a muscle other than opening my eyes, curled up on my side, snuggling into the comforter but Evan speaks to me as if I’d been awake since he left the room earlier. “Are you ever going to forgive me for this Mia? What we have is undeniable, I’m never going away, so it behooves you to forgive me. It was the wrong way to go about it, kidnapping you. I’ll admit that, but I was desperate and I don’t do desperate well at all.”

How the hell did he know I was awake? I really need to learn that secret. He has no idea that he’s already been forgiven, my heart was never angry but my mind was furious and still is.  He’s right, it was wrong, very, very wrong. I roll over to my back and flop my arm over my eyes. “Evan, we need to talk about what happened to me, I need you to understand
exactly
how wrong this was.” He doesn’t turn to face me but continues to poke at the fire, a little more force behind each jab now. I peek under my arm and see his body tensing up tightening his grip on the mantel.

“Mia…” “No, Evan you have to know, we can’t go on until you understand what I went through and realize that this can never happen again. Believe me I don’t want to tell you any more than you want to hear it.” “I doubt that” he answers flatly. “Please…we need to get past this. I can forgive you but I have to be assured you will never do anything like this again, and after I tell you I will be.” I watch as he props the fire poker against the stone surrounding the fire place.

Running his hand through his hair with one hand and pinching the bridge of his nose with the other he squeezes his eyes closed tight in pain. “Evan…are you ok?” “Mmmhmm, just a headache…it’s nothing.” “Doesn’t look like nothing.” I say with new concern, the man just traveled 16 hours in a private jet with compressed air, a tumor the size of a lemon growing in his brain.

I open my mouth to protest but he cuts me off before I can speak a word. “I have dinner for you.” Now he’s avoiding the topic…his head really hurts…I can sense his suffering from across the room. I eye a silver tray on a bureau, it’s overflowing with plates of different pastas and deserts. Evan must have brought it in before tending to the fire. He closes the distance between us gathering the tray as he does. When he’s at the bedside I scoot back against the pillows allowing him to place it in front of me.

It smells like heaven and I’m very aware of my empty stomach, how long has it been since I’ve really eaten? I can’t recall…that’s not good, no wonder I’m so damn thin. “It smells so good Evan, you made all of this?” I ask very impressed by his cooking abilities. “Yes, I told you I could cook, I’m not too bad at baking either. I’ll pack some pounds on you before you know it. We can start working out together too, when you have the strength of course. “Working out…wow it’s been a long time since I’ve been to the gym, my life is so off track.  I’ve been effectively derailed by a crazy man who kidnaps people when he sees fit, loves fiercely and puts the fear of god in everyone but me.

“I’m sure it’s not necessary to ask but do my parents and my boss know I’m out of the country?” “Yes you are correct it’s not necessary to ask, of course they know.” “So, it’s just me who had no idea then?” He reaches out to tuck a loose tendril of hair behind my ear and I flinch slightly causing him to frown. “You haven’t forgiven me yet have you?” “No…I told you…we need to talk first.”

He heaves a deep sigh and grabs up a linen napkin from the tray and tucks it into the collar of my tank top and again I involuntarily flinch but he ignores it this time. “Eat. Go slow. I don’t want to clean up any more vomit today.” “Then we talk?” “Yes Mia…if it’s necessary for you to forgive me, we will talk.” 

I can honestly say after eating Evan’s cooking that I realize why the man is filthy rich, he is talented. If his Aunt Sophia were still here today I would have to kiss her and thank her for passing on her craft to her nephew. Evan was right, as usual, I will be packing on some pounds if I eat like this for long. Note to self, be sure to request some fruits and vegetables in the future, as I’m currently on carb and sugar overload!

While I ate Evan pulled one of two chairs that accompany a small table in the room next to the bed and watched me carefully. He never spoke a word just nodded in approval occasionally when I ate what he deemed to be enough of a particular item on my tray. I didn’t come close to finishing even one dish but I’ve done the best I can and I’m nearing nausea again. Communicating through only quick glances, raising of eyebrows and head nods he understands I’m done and removes the tray setting in on the table and replacing the chair as well.

Completely satisfied, I’m feeling much better than I can remember feeling in, well, in weeks. Specifically the exact amount of time between my leaving Evan and this moment. I relax back into the mountain of pillows on the bed as Evan returns and I’m more than surprised when he peels his t-shirt off and slides out of my favorite soft jeans leaving my Adonis standing in just his black briefs. “What are you doing? I thought we were going to talk Evan.”

He moves like a panther across the bed and slides under the covers next to me before I can say another word. “You talk baby, I’ll listen but I’m not going to like this so I need to feel you close to me.” He raises the thick cover and motions me into my old familiar spot which is next to him tucked under his strong arm. “Scoot” he orders, I sigh and roll my eyes but move into place. My God, I can’t believe the relief and feeling of home that spreads throughout my body when I am enveloped in his arms. It’s incomparable to anything I’ve ever felt, he is addictive and I’ve finally got my fix.

I don’t want to talk about bad things, I don’t want to tell him my past now and I think that may be exactly the reaction he was hoping for but this one time he’s not getting what he wants. I have to tell him. He moves the comforter up over my shoulder with his free hand and we lay there in a little heavenly cocoon wrapped in each other’s arms soaking up the moment of unity that we have both craved for so long.

I had to break the spell though and get this over with. It was important to me so I just dove in. “They raped me repeatedly as soon as they had me back in the house where they were staying, I don’t think any of them actually lived there. It was dilapidated and run down, most likely abandoned long ago.”

He is holding his breath and I’m certain every muscle in his body has tensed but he doesn’t speak so I continue. “They kept some sort of bag over my head for a long time, maybe a day and a night. I couldn’t see anything, obviously, so I’m not sure. My hands were bound with rope behind my back. They took my clothes and beat me in between raping me.  They eventually hung me by my bound hands from a pipe that ran along the ceiling and took the bag off of my head. I couldn’t see them though, my eyes were swollen shut from being hit.

I think they shattered every bone in my face, they cut my hair with a knife in chunks down to my scalp and taunted me with it, calling me Barbie.  They stabbed me, I don’t know how many times with that knife. The plastic surgeon was the best money could buy, you can hardly see any scarring.” Evan has a death grip on me now and I’m sure he hasn’t taken a breath since I began speaking but I’ve started this and I have to keep going.

“They took turns with their attacks and I started blacking out off and on, I was bleeding from the knife wounds, the pain was unbearable. The relief of being freed from the pipe gave me a second of hope, the first time they unhooked me I thought it was over. That was a short lived hope, they only took me down to get at me from different angles. They raped me with more than just their bodies, I could feel the blood running from many areas but primarily my vagina and a wound on my back that I think was caused by some sort of piece of glass. I heard it break before, well before.”

I have to stop, the memories are overwhelming, every time I allow myself to remember it’s like I’m reliving it again, the pain, the smells. After a deep breath I go on. “I’d given up hope of surviving, I prayed for death but they kept me right there on the brink for what felt like forever, returning me to the pipe to hang when they took a break from me which wasn’t very often. One of them liked to burn me with his cigarette and another jabbed and smacked me with a wooden rod, I don’t know exactly what it was. After what I could figure must have been 3 days and nights they were taking a break and I was alone in the room hanging from the pipe.  I heard a door slam, one of them left.

I think they were periodically doing drugs so maybe he went to a dealer I don’t know. I was barely conscious but right before I passed out completely again I heard someone crash through the door, people were screaming and yelling. I heard heavy footsteps running in and out of rooms, more doors slamming.  They were searching for me, someone had heard me screaming when they walked by the house and called the police. I can’t even say I was relieved or glad because I passed out before they could get me down from the pipe. I woke up in the hospital.” 

I finish my story and take another deep breath before I realized that my grip on Evan was as tight as his was on me. He finally begins to breathe again. My God, did he hold his breath through the entire story? Silence hangs between us while he attempts to recover. I can’t stand it anymore I have to know his reaction so I loosen my arm from around his abdomen and prop up on my elbow to see his face. I was expecting rage, fury, pity or anything but what I saw.

Tears streamed silently down his face, his eyes are closed but the steady flow continues while my heart shatters into a million pieces right in the center of my chest. What have I done? I’m encompassed by guilt as I realize that maybe what I needed to share with him was too much for him to accept. He has his own past and demons to fight and now he has mine as well. He told me he didn’t need to hear my story and I assumed he was trying to protect me from the pain of telling him but maybe he was protecting himself from having to know the horror I endured.

“Oh god, Evan I’m so sorry, so, so sorry. I didn’t, I wasn’t…” Shit what was I supposed to say now? It’s too late, all the cards are on the table he either accepts me or not and I know I won't survive if he can’t. “Sorry? What on earth could you be sorry for baby?” he answers after opening his misty green watery eyes devastating me further with the pain that resides there now. “I’m sorry I told you, I thought it would be good for you to know but it’s too late, it was a terrible idea and I can’t take those visions out of your mind.”

Sitting up he gathers me into his lap arranging the blankets so I am completely covered and protected from the chill in the room. “Don’t you ever feel sorry for doing something you need to do to make yourself feel assured in our relationship Mia,
ever
, understand?” I nod, looking down into my lap while he smooth’s the curls that have escaped my braid away from my face. “I love you more right now than I ever have, you’re my warrior queen.  No woman I’ve ever known has endured what you have and come out on the other side with such courage, strength, grace and beauty, inside and out.”

It’s my turn to cry as hot tears spring to my eyes and fall onto his bare arm that he has wrapped on the outside of our comforter. He’s accepted me, for who I am and what I’ve been through, called me a warrior queen which I guess in a way I am. I fought like hell and I won, not those bastards who tried to kill me. “Don’t cry baby, you’ve cried enough now, I’m here to protect you forever and I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent you from shedding another tear unless it’s in happiness.”

Well shit, leave it to him to say
exactly
the right thing at
exactly
the right moment. “I won’t cry if you won’t.” I say striking a deal with him. “All right, agreed.” he said while pulling me away from his warm hard body and wiping my tears with the sheet and then his own. I sniffle unattractively and he smiles a small understanding smile but adds the wink that always makes my tummy flutter and my heart skip a beat.

“Sleep now baby, you need to rest and get well so you can set me free from the misery of keeping my hands off of you. I’ve missed you so much but you’re in no condition to be making love.” Making love? He’d always referred to it as fucking but never making love. By some miracle after all I’d been through I rather liked being fucked by this man but making love sounds so much more beautiful and permanent. Maybe we can make a deal to do a little of both. 

“Ok, I’ll sleep as long as you promise to hurry up and make me strong and fat.” “Oh, baby, that’s the easiest promise I’ll ever keep. So am I forgiven now?” “You were forgiven the second I saw your face. I can never be mad at you, no matter what you do.” I admit. “Scoot.” he commands and I return to my place plastered to his side, one skinny leg up and between both of his solid muscular legs, arm stretched across his abs, his surrounding me we snuggle down together peacefully for the first time in months.

A seed of hope takes hold in my heart that maybe, just maybe, everything will be all right.