Darkening Chaos: Book Three of The Destroyer Trilogy (8 page)

I
let go of my Naturalism.

I
can almost hear the crack of the marble hardening so quickly. The rest will
live, but getting them out isn’t going to be easy. It’s going to be a very long
and painful rescue. That should give me some satisfaction, but really, it’s
still more than they deserve. This isn’t the last time we’ll meet. I feel no
pity for the dead Seeker, either, only shock that Milo took his life. I wanted
to very badly. Maybe I would have if Daniel hadn’t stopped me. What haunts me
is the look in Milo’s eye when he pulled the trigger. The coldness I felt in
that fraction of a second scared me. A warning from Lance, what feels like
forever ago, that Milo was dangerous, echoes in my mind as we drive.

I
push thoughts like that away and focus on the one positive aspect of today. At
least we got Helen and her family out. Of course, that has its own set of
problems. She doesn’t know what happened to her dad, yet. I’m just glad Dean
pushed them into his Nissan Xterra, because I don’t think I can face them right
now. I don’t think I can face anyone.

How
am I ever going to tell the others that we didn’t save the Ciphers? All my
brilliant planning and I failed. I wasn’t fast enough to save our friends. Dean
had to be the one to think about checking the other cells after I ran out. And
Braden, I was too late to keep them from hurting him. I have failed him in so
many ways. It all becomes too much. My shoulders start shaking first, and then
the tears start falling. Misery fills me until I am choking on it, crying and
struggling for breath. Every tear is another regret, another mistake that led
me here. I’m not going to save anyone. I can’t. I try, but every time, all I
end up doing is making things worse.

“At
least we got Helen out,” Milo says. “Think of what the Guardians would have
done to them. We saved them from that, at least.”

He
doesn’t say anything about the Seeker.

Neither
do I.

“Yeah,”
I say quietly as I try to dry my tears. I can’t offer him any more than that
right now. Defeat pulls my eyes down to my lap. My hands sit there shaking,
caked with blood around my knuckles. The deep red startles me. I can’t even
remember where it came from. Was it from hitting Blackwood or the nameless dead
Seeker? Did I even hit the Seeker? I wanted to, but I can’t seem to remember
right now. Does it matter? The blood on my hands goes deeper than a few drips
from a bloody nose.

The
phone in my pocket buzzes again. I know it’s Lance. Has anyone else told him yet?
Milo and Dean are the only one who would even think to call him, but they’re
both driving. He has no clue what’s going on. Telling him in person, I’m not
sure whether that will be better or worse. I’m only thinking about me, though.
Lance has to be dying for information. I pull the phone out of my pocket
slowly. The dozen or more text messages begging me for details are all still
unopened. I don’t open them now. Instead, I call him. There’s no way I’m going
to tell him over text message. He picks up on the first ring.

“I
have been freakin’ waiting here all morning for someone to tell me what the
hell’s going on!” he yells. “You knew I wanted updates! What have you been
doing? You should have had them all out by now. Just because you’re off playing
hero doesn’t mean you get to forget I’m still here.”

I
let his tantrum taper off. It gives me time to try and compose myself. When the
line quiets, I say, “We got Helen and her family, and that’s it. The Ciphers
were already … they’re not …” My chest convulses as I try to hold in another
sob. “Lance, they already killed them. The Ciphers are dead.”

Lance
doesn’t say anything for a while.

“Who
ordered it? Blackwood?”

“A
Seeker. I don’t know what his name was, but he won’t be giving out any other
orders.”

“What
do you mean? Is he dead?”

I
let out a long, trembling breath. “Yes.”

“You
killed him?” The surprise in Lance’s voice is clear.

“No.
It was …”

“Milo,”
Lance interrupts. “Of course it was. There weren’t supposed to be any
casualties on their side. They could pin us all down for that. What was he
thinking?”

“I
don’t know,” I say quietly.

Lance
growls into the phone. “How many times have I told you he’s dangerous? He’s
furious at you for trying to rush off after Braden on an emotional jet, but he
goes and does something like this!”

I
close my eyes and let Lance rant. I don’t want the memory of Milo pulling the
trigger to replay in my head ever again. Finally, Lance calms back down, though
I doubt his frustration toward Milo has cooled.

“Are
you all okay, though?” he finally asks.

“Yes.”
I guess that’s one thing that went right. Nobody I brought with me was hurt.

“No
sign of Braden?” Lance asks.

“No,
they already got to him. I was too late.”

I
don’t miss the muscles in Milo’s arms bunching up. He knows who I’m talking
about, and whether he knew it before we came or not, I just admitted that I was
planning on trying to rescue Braden today. Nothing will ever change Milo’s mind
about finding Braden. And not only because it would be a stupidly dangerous thing
to do, either. Milo would just as soon watch Braden fall off a cliff at this
point.

“Libby,”
Lance says, “we’ll find him, okay?”

Choosing
my words a little more carefully this time, I say, “I think it’s going to be
the other way around.”

I
hear him groan. “He’s already been activated? Great. Okay, from this point on,
you’re not to be left alone. Do you understand me?”

“How
are you going to manage that? Your parents are never going to agree to it.”
Braden used to be the one to watch over me at night, although Lance was the
only one who knew about that. Some of his stuff is still at my house.

“Are
you forgetting that you have house guests?” Lance asks. “Our three new Canadian
friends have nowhere else to stay. I think serving as your body guards is an
even trade for free room and board.”

A
deep scowl settles on my lips. I hadn’t even thought about where the Canadians
would stay. We flew in this morning and came to the compound right after that.
My mouth turns down into a scowl. I do not want sleepover buddies right now.
But what else can I say, no?

“We’ll
discuss it when you get back to the house,” Lance says. “I’m already here. I
convinced the nurse I was still sick and she let me take off. We’ll figure
everything out.”

I’m
about to say goodbye, thinking he’s done talking, when he speaks again.

“Hey,
Libby? This isn’t your fault. You know that, right? Nothing you could have done
would have stopped this from happening. You did your best. We all did.”

“I
could have come sooner, not gone to Canada. Maybe then they’d still be alive
and he wouldn’t have been hurt,” I argue.

“No.
They killed the Ciphers the second they closed the video feed,” Lance says,
“and I bet they were working on Braden even before that. You couldn’t have
stopped them. We just have to move on from here. We have to pay them back for
what they’ve done and stop them from ever doing it again. We’re going to
destroy them.”

I
hid under my bed and cried when I finally realized who I was going to become
one day. I have spent most of my life wishing I was anyone but Cassia the
Destroyer. Hurting people wasn’t something I thought I would do, let alone
crave. I want more than anything else at this moment to become the demon most
of the world thinks I am. I want to bleed Blackwood and all the other
disgusting Guardians like animals in a butcher shop. The anger racing through
my veins threatens to consume me until I see the three braided strands of
thread wrapped around my wrist, Braden’s gift to remind me of our connection,
to remind me that he would never leave me. I finger the bracelet and realize
that destroying the Guardians isn’t what I want most.

“We’ll
talk about everything when we get back, okay?” I say.

His
response sounds somewhat confused. I guess that wasn’t what he was expecting me
to say. Milo looks over at me strangely as well. He looks like he’s trying to
figure out what the other half of this conversation has been about. He’s just
going to have to wonder. Lying to Milo is what got me in trouble with him in
the first place, but this isn’t one of the conversations I’m going to share
with him. I say goodbye to Lance, for now, and spend the rest of the drive
hunkered down in my seat, silent.

Thankfully,
Milo doesn’t push me. Even when we get back to my house half an hour later, he
doesn’t try to stop me from jumping out of the Bronco without saying anything
to him. I want to go hide in my room and stare at my wall of drawings, the ones
Braden hung for me only a few days ago, but I only get halfway up the drive
when I spot Helen and her family getting out of Dean’s Xterra. I know what
they’re about to go through. Abandoning them to face it alone isn’t an option.
I hurry forward before I can change my mind and hold out my hands to Helen. She
takes them without really looking at me, holding on like she’s afraid the world
will tip at any second and dump her into oblivion.

“Helen,
I’m Libby Sparks. Are you and your family okay?” I ask.

Helen
shakes her head slowly as if she’s not really sure. Tears spring to her eyes as
she makes herself meet my gaze. “My father’s dead, isn’t he?” she whispers.

“I
…” Did Dean already tell her?

“He
told me when the Guardians let him see us to prove we were still alive that if
you came to rescue us it was because he was dead,” she says. Tears slip down her
cheeks, but she stiffens her body and tries to hold them back. “Is he really gone?”

Eight
months, that’s how long she and her family have been the Guardians’ prisoners.
Every day she must have sat there hoping to be rescued, but also hoping not to
if it meant her father’s life. That had to be worse than anything the Guardians
could have done to her. Her strength honestly floors me, but it shouldn’t,
because I knew her dad. He was strange, and a little twisted, but he was also
one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. Helen’s eyes beg me for an answer.

“Yes,”
I say, a simple answer to such an agonizing question. I brace myself for her
reaction, but except for a momentary tremble, she holds her grief inside. It
will all come spilling out eventually, it always does. For now, though, she
simply nods.

“Thank
you for coming after us,” Helen says. “I think my dad was a little worried you
wouldn’t after what he had to do. After everything he’s told me about you, I
knew you would come. Thank you, Libby, and I’m sorry about your friends.”

“Thanks,”
I say, “so am I.”

Knowing
she and her family most likely just want to lie down and maybe forget
everything for a few hours, I start to let go of her hands. I stop when I
really think about what she just said. She was sorry about my friends. She was
down there with them, maybe even saw what happened—I pray she didn’t have to
endure that—and I wonder who else she might have seen.

“Helen,
I know you want to rest, but can I ask you something?”

She
nods, but I can see the wary quality in it. Please, I hope she didn’t have to
watch the Ciphers die. I shake that thought away quickly.

“Was
anyone else brought into the cell block where you were kept besides the Ciphers?
A man, tall, dark hair, his name was Braden?”

“No,”
she says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see anyone else.”

My
hope plummets to my toes. “It’s okay, why don’t you and your family go inside
and get some rest?”

“Actually,
we’d like to go to my dad’s house. One of your friends, Kyla, I think her name
was, said she’d drive us. I’d really like to be around things that remind me of
him right now.” The corners of Helen’s mouth are twitching. She’s putting on a
brave face for me, but the grief and pain are quickly becoming unbearable for
her.

“Of
course, Helen, just have Kyla call if you need anything. I’ll do whatever I can
to help,” I offer. She smiles gratefully and turns away to head back to the
waiting SUV.

I
watch them leave, wishing I could do more than send them off to an empty house.
The weight of this morning begins to pull me down. Even though my house is
currently filled with people, I plan on heading directly to my room and locking
the door for a while. I turn for the house and see Lance stalking toward me.
Every bit of anguish, every regret and agonizing pain I have felt this morning
is reflected on his face. He hurries his last few steps and throws his arms
around me. I bury my head in his chest and let his intimate understanding of
everything I’m feeling calm me.

As
soon as he knows I’m ready to talk, he pulls back and looks at me. “Are you
okay?”

“No.”

Lance’s
face crumbles. “I was getting so many terrible feelings from you. I was scared
out of my mind that something horrible was happening. Especially at the end.”

“What
do you mean?”

“There
was a lot of anger, I expected that, but a few minutes before you called me I
didn’t know what to think. Your emotions went completely blank. I thought you
were gone for a minute until something else hit. I can’t even describe it, but
my entire body went cold,” Lance says. He looks at me with such compassion.
“Was that when you found the Ciphers?”