Darkening Chaos: Book Three of The Destroyer Trilogy (12 page)

“Those
of us in school will have to take shifts before and after classes,” Milo says,
reminding me that I am not a part of that group. “Hammond, Kayla, and Daniel
will have to take the majority of the day shifts. I’ll get a schedule worked
out.”

I
just nod at him and rub my head. It’s probably not even noon yet, but I
seriously want to crawl into my bed and stay there until tomorrow morning.
After I find some aspirin. After that, they all start talking about how to best
start training the other Ciphers, the ones that aren’t lying in body bags in
the Guardians’ basement. My stomach rolls at the memory. I have to close my
eyes and make myself think of something else. I throw out ideas and offer
suggestions about getting everyone trained as quickly as possible.

I
try to suggest we start with the Canadian Ciphers, and then send them back to
the others to start working, but Lance seems determined to keep as big of a guard
around me as possible. Even though Braden isn’t a threat anymore, there are
still plenty of other people who want to kill me. I shoot down the idea of me
travelling around to the different safe houses on the weekends. Not because I’m
against seeing the world, but partly because of Braden, and partly because I
know from experience that pushing myself to the breaking point doesn’t
accomplish anything. I want to visit each safe house, but it has to be a reasonable
schedule.

In
the end, we settle on an idea that surprisingly enough comes from Hope. It’s a
scaled back schedule of me visiting the other Ciphers. Our Canadian friends
will stay, and we’ll send word to the other safe houses to send five of their
most talented members here to Albuquerque. They can all stay at my friend, Inquisitor
Moore’s, weekend house and start training with me and the rest of my team. As
soon as they’re ready, we’ll send them back to help train others and bring in a
new batch.

Lance
isn’t thrilled that I’ve gotten rid of my house guests, all accept Hope—who
absolutely refuses to leave my side until every Guardian on the planet is dead.
Yikes. Milo wants to bring more people in despite the stir that would cause.
Dean, who has only had his own talents for barely more than half a year, looks
wary of trying to train other people, but he’s an incredibly fast learner. He
has passed Milo in quite a few areas already. He’ll be fine.

Eventually,
the objections die down. The loss of adrenaline and general mayhem starts to
wear on everyone. Daniel offers to start making lunch, and I notice for the
first time Hammond’s anxiety about Kayla. He pesters Dean until he agrees to
drive him over to Mr. Walters’ house. No wonder he jumped at the chance to come
with us. Kayla offered to come first. It makes me happy to know at least one
couple hasn’t been torn apart by my chaotic destiny.

With
everyone sufficiently distracted, I stand up and make for my bedroom. I guess
not everyone was distracted, because Lance slips in behind me and closes the
door. For a moment, I hesitate, and then I let myself fall against him. His
arms slip around me and block out everything else for a few precious seconds.
At least I still have one person who loves me. It’s only the love of a friend,
now, but it’s whole and beautiful. He holds me like a big brother trying to
comfort a hurt and lonely little sister, just the way he used to when we were small.
I loved being his girlfriend when we were in that stage, but I think this is
where we’ve always been meant to stay, friends that would give anything for each
other and never ask for a single thing in return.

“Libby,
I’m worried about you,” Lance says, pulling back a little.

“What’s
so new about that?” I joke.

He
smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m serious. You’ve got too much on
your plate with Milo and Braden. I know you. I know how much you let things
like this get to you. What happened with both of them isn’t your fault. You did
what you had to do. You have to put it aside for now and focus on the bigger
picture.”

I
laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “Lance, I turn seventeen in two weeks.
That means I may only have a year left to live, and you’re worried about my
relationship problems. It seems so stupid, doesn’t it?” My humor doesn’t last.
He can feel the pain welling up inside of me and tries to stall it.

“You
never did do things the easy way, Libby. Remember the time you got your kite
stuck in a tree at the park? I told you to go get your dad and ask him to get a
ladder or something. You decided climbing up to get it would be faster. It
wasn’t, and you fell out and broke your arm.” He frowns at me, and says, “I’m
not forgetting that you have bigger problems than whether or not you just lost Braden,
and whether saving Braden’s life just cost you Milo. I just know that you are
going to be distracted by it. And I’m well aware of the clock counting down on
your life. I intend on seeing you live past your eighteenth birthday, but I’m
going to need a little help.”

“What
do you want me to do, Lance? Forget them both, demand they stop hating me so I
can concentrate?” I would do the second one if I thought it would actually
work. The first one, I already know it won’t.

“No,”
Lance says, “but I am asking you to give yourself a break. You lied to Milo
because he would have gotten himself killed if you hadn’t. You stripped Braden
of, basically, his whole identity because the only other option was killing
him. You did what you had to do. Accept it. Deal with it. And stop focusing on
it. Maybe Milo will put aside his anger and come rushing in like the love-sick
hero he used to be. Maybe he won’t.

“Maybe
Braden will realize he’s being an idiot about this, maybe he won’t. Either way,
the balls are in their courts. You have to let them make the choice. Give them
some time. Maybe if you do, you’ll figure out what you want, too. But even if
you don’t, you have more important things to think about right now, like
staying alive. If you get yourself killed because you’re crying about one of
them, it’s really not going to matter what they think of you. You’ll be dead.
So, put it in your back pocket and get back to work, okay?”

I
have to say I’m a little stunned by all of that. He’s changed so much over the
last year. The sometimes arrogant, petty attitude that kept him and Milo at
each other’s throats for the longest time has completely disappeared. So has
his immaturity and self-absorbed qualities that always made it impossible for
him to pick up on my needs and emotions. Football and fast cars used to be only
slightly less important to him than me.

Where
did this mature, wise, thoughtful young man come from? Maybe losing your friends
and mentors, going up against the brotherhood you once idolized, watching
friends die and knowing it could happen again at any time just doesn’t leave
any room for anything else. He has sacrificed so much for me, but I know he did
it willingly and I love him for it.

“Thanks,
Lance,” is all I need to say.

He
smiles and tweaks my nose with a playful grin. I smile at him. He hasn’t lost
all his boyishness. Lance motions to something behind me, and says, “I gathered
up the stuff he left here this morning. Figured you wouldn’t want it lying
around where people might start asking questions.”

“Thanks,”
I say as I stare at Braden’s overnight bag, laptop, and toothbrush. As I stare
at the bag, I can’t help wondering if the blue striped shirt I love so much is
in there. Trying not to think about it too hard, I turn back to Lance.

He
can see the question in my eyes, but waits for me to ask it.

“Lance,
you wanted me to choose Braden before because of our link, because of the extra
power it would give me,” I say, my voice rough with emotion, “but all of that’s
gone now. He has no talents. I couldn’t feel the link anymore. Do you still
think he’s the better one for me? And what about Milo? I love him, but what he
did today really scared me. All I could think about was how often you’ve told
me he’s dangerous.”

 Lance
pulls me back into a hug with a sigh. “I don’t know, Libby. You know how I feel
about Milo, but if you really love and trust him, I’ll stand behind your
choice. As for Braden, you know I like him, but I also respect him and trust
him. You’re the only one who can answer your questions about how you really
feel about him, but at least now you have the chance to find out if you truly love
him without anything else interfering. Maybe now you’ll actually have a fair
chance at figuring it out. If he’ll ever speak to you again, that is.”

Chapter
10

This One Thing

It has been three days
since the catastrophic rescue attempt. In those three days, we have identified
over two dozen Seekers creeping around the compound. Finding a weak spot in
their routines will take a while longer, but everyone is working hard.

In
those same three days, Milo has spoken a combined total of less than five words
to me. When he handed out the schedule for watching the compound, there was a
noticeable lack of me and him ever partnering up. I have tried to take Lance’s
advice and not let it get to me, but I’m quickly finding that impossible.
Making my focusing abilities even worse is the fact that Daniel has not been
able to talk to Braden. He won’t answer calls or open the door. He sits alone
at his house completely unprotected. Not knowing whether or not he is safe is
killing me.

I
was determined to give Milo whatever space and time he needed from me, but
after three days of silence and worry I can’t take it anymore. If he truly
hates me and will never forgive me, I need to know. And I need to do something
about Braden.

Walking
up to Milo’s house makes my hands shake. I do something when I reach the door
that I have not done in a very long time. I ring the doorbell. His car is in
the driveway, so I know he’s home, but it seems to take ten years for him to
reach the door. When he pulls it open, his dark eyes take me in with surprise.

“Why
did you ring the bell?” he asks.

“I
wasn’t sure if I was still welcome here,” I say honestly.

A
mixture of frustration and sadness plays on his features.

“If
you want me to go,” I say, “I will. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“About
what?”

I
take a deep breath. “About us.”

It
takes a very long time for Milo to answer. When he does, he says, “Fine. Come
in.”

He
leaves the door open and walks toward the living room rather than waiting for
me. It’s not the best sign, but at least he let me in. I cross the threshold
and close the door slowly. As I walk toward the living room, I try to prepare
myself for his rejection. I won’t blame him or hate him. I know what I’ve done.
Whatever he decides, I just need to hear it so I can move on, either with him
or without him, regardless of how much that would hurt. When I enter the room,
Milo is sitting on the arm chair instead of one of the couches. My breathing
starts to speed up. He doesn’t want me too close to him.

I
sit down on the edge of the couch. When Milo speaks, the bite in his voice
makes me flinch.

“What
do you want to talk about?”

I
press my hands together to calm their shaking. “Milo, I know you’re angry with
me right now. You have every right to be. I made huge mistakes. I can admit
that.”

Milo
grunts at my admission, but doesn’t say anything.

“I
lied to you about Braden from the very beginning. I won’t make any excuses
about why. I should have trusted you. When I did tell you about him, you
disagreed with trusting him. I accepted his help regardless of what you said. I
know I should have at least given you another chance to discuss it with me. I
didn’t have to go behind your back. And …” I have to stop and blink back tears.
“And I knew how I felt about Braden from the beginning, but I still allowed
myself to be around him. Sometimes it was unavoidable, but there were plenty of
other times I could have walked away and I didn’t.”

“How
many other times?” Milo demands.

I
look up at him, surprised by his question. Does he really want me to tell him
every time I was with Braden when I didn’t expressly have to be? I don’t think
I could even catalog something like that. He refuses to look away, and neither
can I. He needs an answer. I
owe
him an answer, so I try.

“Most
of the time, it was just training I could have done with someone else, times
when everyone else had gone home but I lingered to be around him longer.
Sometimes Braden would show up places, or be around school, and I could have
left, but didn’t.”

“What
about the other times?” he asks, no softer than before.

My
chin starts quivering. “The day Saia died and you went to work with Casey,
Braden showed up right after you left. We just talked outside for a while, and
then something he said gave me the idea of trying to get through his Guardian
promise.”

Milo’s
body tenses, his muscles bulging under the strain. “You told me you got the
prophecy from him the next day after school.”

“I
didn’t want you to think I said it was okay for you to go with Casey because I
knew Braden was coming. I promise I had no idea he had followed us to the
motel.”