Dead Awakenings (27 page)

They stared at each other in silence for a long time. “You saw me feed, and you didn’t run away.”

“Luca told me not to.”

“Where is Luca?”

“He left about thirty minutes ago to shower. He was pretty messed up.”

The night before trickled back to her. She’d fed and then all of her pent-up desires had come to the surface. She had been unable to control herself. Evaine looked down at her hands. Tristan got up from his chair and walked to her bed. He lifted her chin as he had done a hundred times before. Gone was the crazy Tristan who had been searching for her for months. Gone was his anger, his desire. There was only Tristan. The man she’d known when she was alive. Tristan, who had protected her and taken care of her. She’d missed him terribly. Reaching out she threw her arms around him. He held her close and stroked her hair, whispering to her how much he had missed her. Her heart ached to go home with him, for things to be the way they had been.

“Man you’re chilly,” he remarked.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. What you must think of me…what I’ve become.”

He continued to stroke her hair. “I love you and have always loved you and will always love you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve become. I would do anything to protect you, even if it means watching you eat a dead person.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. He was so Tristan. Sitting back she let go of him. He held her hand and wiped her tears. She saw his face was in vivid detail; everything was still heightened because of the feeding. She closed her eyes and pulled her hand away.

“Don’t,” he said soothingly. “I love your eyes. Blue, red, purple or orange.”

“You saw what happened to me last night. You saw what I can do when I lose control.”

“No, actually, I don’t think I did. Luca said that you’re stronger than everyone else. What did he mean by that?”

“Some people rebirth with new abilities. Telekinesis and stuff. My ability is more advanced, I guess.” She could tell he wanted to know but he didn’t want to press her. “What are you doing here? Don’t get me wrong, I am happy you are here, but why did Luca let you come?”

Tristan grinned. “He didn’t have much of a choice. He made me a deal and I kept my half.”

“What deal?”

“He said if I could get Simone into my car, I could come along.”

“Simone?”

“The girl that was chewing on the dead man after the Doc shot you with the tranquilizer dart.”

Evaine remembered getting shot now. She felt her shoulder blade; it stung a bit. Man, she was so tired of being shot at. She sighed. “So how did you get her in the car?”

Tristan smiled. “Charm.” She looked at him suspiciously. He laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Where’s everyone else?”

“They didn’t exactly share.”

She nodded and then broke eye contact. “About Luca—”

“Don’t,” he said. “I saw it in how you looked at him. You look at Luca the way I look at you. But I still love you and always will, and nothing that he feels for you or any connection you might have to him will change that.”

He leaned close to her and stroked her face with his hand. She looked at him, unsure what to do. He brushed his lips over her cheek and then drifted down toward her lips.

“Tristan, I—”

“I thought you said that you’d let her sleep?” A voice came from the doorway.

Evaine inched toward the headboard and Tristan’s hand fell away. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Having them both in her room was a sensation she wasn’t prepared for. It comforted and confused her at the same time.

Tristan looked at Luca. “I’ll give you two some time to…do whatever it is you need to do. I’m going to run to the inn and shower and change. I take it that when I am back in a few hours I will be let in?”

Luca walked into the room. His eyes were on fire, but he nodded calmly. “I’ll see that Bobby Lee and John Casey know to let you back in.”

Tristan kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

Luca bumped Tristan’s shoulder as he passed. Tristan kept moving. Luca sat down in the spot Tristan had vacated. Evaine shifted uncomfortably, pulling her arms tight around herself. She remembered all too vividly the things she had said to Luca. The things she had wanted him to do. And he had said no.

“How are you feeling?”

“A bit sore. A bit confused.”

“About your feelings for Tristan?”

“No,” she said defensively. “Yes. I don’t know.”

“Are you mad at me? You understand why I did what I did right? Why I had to have Aron shoot you.”

“Yes, and I thank you for it.”

Luca moved to touch her, but she shied away.

“So you are mad at me.”

She didn’t know how to explain. She had put herself out there. She’d never wanted anyone before the way she wanted him, and he’d said no. Sure, Tristan had been there and she had been high from feeding, but still. He had rejected her in the most intimate way. She had never opened herself up to a man like that before.

“Evaine.”
She could hear him in her head.
“You know why I said no last night.”
She didn’t answer; he moved closer to her.
“Look at me.”
She couldn’t. He moved even closer, their bodies touching. “Last night I wanted you more than you could possibly know, but I also knew that you were out of control because of the feeding. You’ve never done that before. Before, it’s always been your anger that you had to keep in control, but now it’s also your sensuality. It happens after a feeding sometimes; it’s usually one or the other. That’s why it’s so enticing to the Feeders and why we stay away from it. You either end up hurting people or doing things that you regret.”

“I’ve never wanted someone so badly as I did you last night, and you rejected me.”

“I didn’t reject you. Believe me, I wanted to have you right then and there. I just postponed it until you really wanted to. You, not the you that’s raging, but
you
, Evaine, the one that I love. The one that I want to be with forever.”

“You love me?” She finally looked up at him.

“You know I do, and I’d do anything for you. Including save you from yourself in a moment of weakness.”

“You’ve seen me worse than I have ever been and yet you’ve stayed. I don’t think I would have made it through this process without you.” She scooted toward him on the bed. He pulled her into his lap. His eyes went to slits; hers were already there.

“Evaine.”

“Yes?”

“Marry me.”

She creased her brows. “What?”

“Marry me. You said it yourself. You told me that you’ve never felt like this before. Neither have I. I love you and I know you love me. Marry me. And I’m not asking because I want to sleep with you.”

She did love him. But she was still engaged to Tristan, or so he thought. She couldn’t be with him, not like before she’d died. And what she felt for Luca was so much more.

“Luca, I—”

He kissed her and then pulled away. “Think about it. You don’t have to say yes now. I’ll wait. But just know that I love you and I want to be with you forever.”

There was a knock on the door. Aron waited. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I was shot with a tranquilizer gun, thanks for asking.”

Aron entered the room and asked her to remove her shirt. She pulled it up over her head, feeling her shoulder as she moved, it was sore. Looking down she saw that above her left breast there was a scar the size of a quarter. It was indented about an inch and appeared to still be healing. But it looked clean and approximately the right color of flesh, considering she wasn’t totally sure what her insides should look like. He inspected the indentation and then looked at her shoulder where the bullet had exited.

“The feeding seems to have done the trick. Sometimes it doesn’t. You’re lucky. Next time don’t skip your feeding. We do it before a mission for a reason. Even with the side effects it can produce, it can be the difference between life and second death. If you’d been shot somewhere that would have prevented you from feeding, you wouldn’t have made it.”

“Got it. Feed first.”

“Didn’t you read the handbook I gave everyone?”

“Sorry.”

“Why do I bother?” Aron spoke more to himself than to her. “No one reads it.”

“I’ll read it tonight, I promise.”

Aron nodded his head and then turned to Luca. “Nate wants us to have a house meeting. He’s going to introduce Jeff and Simone to everyone and then we need to discuss where to go from here.”

“Jeff? So fast? You had me in the cell for a week!”

“Jeff has taken to rebirth easier than even you. And Simone, I have a feeling she won’t be with us very long. She already wants to go be with the Feeders. Anyway, it’s in an hour.”

“Wait. What about the third newborn?”

“She didn’t make it.” Luca’s voice was subdued. “It happens sometimes. They make it through the process but then something goes wrong afterward. We aren’t sure why.”

Evaine felt a terrible sadness in her soul. To go through all of that, only to die in the end anyway was so awful.

Luca kissed her lightly and then excused himself while Evaine showered. After a lukewarm shower she jumped out, pulled on a new set of clothes, and headed to the kitchen to get an Isis. The house was quiet.

She grabbed a drink from the fridge, gulped it down and threw the bottle in the sink. She stepped around the island to head to the conference room when Karen sauntered in, dressed to kill as always. Her hair down and her makeup heavy, she wore the shortest and tightest dress Evaine had seen yet. Standing between Evaine and the exit to the family room, she leaned against the counter tapping her long red nails on it.

“Heard you had an accident last night.” She sounded smug.

“Nothing I couldn’t deal with.”

“You should be careful. First the run-in with the Feeders and then you get shot? Sounds dangerous to be you.”

“Yes, well, maybe it’s because I am so darn special.” Her eyes blazed and her hearing picked up everything.

“You think that you’re all that, but I’m the important one here. Without me, they’d have no idea where the newborns were, and the whole operation would come to a blaring standstill. So stay out of my way, since you won’t be here for long anyway.”

Evaine was on her in a nanosecond, her teeth bared. She had Karen pinned to the counter. “Don’t think for one minute that I don’t know exactly what you’re up to. It was you who sent me to overhear Nate and Abbey. And it was you who told the Feeders that I was in the city.” Evaine could see the shock and acknowledgment in Karen’s orange eyes.

“You can’t prove a thing. I’ve been here longer than you. You may have your hooks into Luca for now, but Nate isn’t so sure about you. In the end he won’t believe I had anything to do with it. And sooner or later Luca will tire of you and then he will come to me. Soon, you’ll be gone and I’ll still be here.”

Evaine could feel her ability surfacing. She could feel Karen’s body. Her skin, her bones, and more. Her mind locked on Karen’s spine. Giving a small shove, she began to squeeze. The vertebrae in Karen’s neck were so fragile. It would be so easy for Evaine to twist one of them, severing the spinal cord, till there was no…more…Karen. A thrill coursed through her at the thought. The terror in Karen’s eyes turned to horror as what Evaine could only assume was excruciating pain radiated through Karen’s neck. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as Evaine stared in fascination. The bones were so easily moved. The smallest little mental shove and she could pull them right out through—

“Evaine.”
Luca’s voice reached through her anger. Coming back to her senses she dropped her power. Karen fell back against the counter, tears streaming down her face, ruining her perfect makeup job.

Luca quickly spun Evaine away from Karen. He held her tightly. She clung to him. Her mind whirled and her limbs shook at the thought of what she had almost done. She had wanted to kill Karen. Luca stroked Evaine’s hair and sent soothing thoughts to her.
“I’ve got you. You’re fine. You’re all right.”

“Karen, I think you should go. The house meeting is going to start,” Luca said.

Karen stumbled out of the room, sobbing.

“I’ve never looked at her,” he said after Karen was gone. “Not once. I’ve known she was interested for years. But I have never once thought of her as anything more than just another girl.”

“She’s the one who told me to go and see Abbey in the computer room when I overheard them talking about you and Tristan. And I know she’s the one who told the Feeders I was in the city. It sounds crazy, and I have no proof, but it was her.”

“I believe you.” He kissed her on the top of the head.

“You do? No one else would.” She rested her head on his chest.

Luca pushed her away and took her face in his palms. “I think you’d be surprised. But for now let’s just keep it between us. Let me see what I can find out and we’ll go from there.”

She nodded.

“We should head to the house meeting.”

She swallowed. She didn’t want to tell him. “I almost killed her.”

“I know.” He pulled her close again.

“I didn’t think I was capable of doing something like that.”

“No one ever does.”

They walked hand in hand to the conference room and took a seat at the table. Karen sat in the corner sulkily. She had on considerably less eye makeup than moments before.

At the meeting Jeff and the new girl sat between Nate and Aron. Jeff appeared calm and interested in what was going on, but the girl was a different story. She looked like a junkie. Her jittery legs bounced a mile a minute, and she chewed on her nails.

Nate started by introducing Jeff to the group and then Simone. “Jeff has taken the rebirth well. We’re pretty sure his ability is his calming nature. He’s felt none of the feeding frenzies that the rest of us did. And he seems to have a connection to our Evaine as well. They knew each other at college. Which leads us to wonder if there’s something else that can help lead us to where we need to go next.”

Jeff shrugged. “We were in theater together. Evaine’s an amazing actress.”

She smiled. “Nah, I was good, that’s all.”

“Not true, everyone said it. I was bummed when you didn’t show up for auditions for
Chicago
.”