DEAD GOOD (26 page)

Leo blows his fringe off his forehead and shakes his head. ‘I don’t’ know,’ he says,’ it hasn’t really sunk in. I wonder what Nonna and Nonno will say. I wonder how Mia will take it?’

‘How come you didn’t see your parents after the fire – after you knew you were dead and … well, haunting?’

‘Oh we did. Well, I did. I didn’t want Mia to come with me, in fact I don’t think she even really gets the whole being able to travel from one place to the other thing properly. But after about three visits I got so upset at watching how sad they both were, that I just couldn’t do it any more. It was bad enough being dead without making myself feel worse watching them being so miserable all the time. It wasn’t something I’d wish on anybody.’

Leo shakes his head. ‘Nope. I don’t think I ever saw her out of the arms of some member of the family comforting her, or else curled over one of the restaurant tables sobbing. Italians are very big on bereavement, believe me. It was very difficult to focus on anything but sadness, let alone the size of her stomach!’

I sigh. I can’t imagine how horrible it all was. And then I have an inkling of an idea.

‘You don’t think this might be part of the reason you’re still here?’ I attempt. ‘Maybe because your Mum desperately wanted you and Mia to know about the baby, but she didn’t have the chance to tell you? Perhaps it’s not you that’s stuck – maybe she’s the one that’s got the unfinished business?’

Leo frowns his concentrating-deeply frown and I wait. Oh god. Have I said the wrong thing? Did I speak too soon before I had a chance to make it come out right? What? What will he say?

‘I love you Maddie Preston,’ he says simply. Then he bends down, drops a kiss on my dazed lips and he’s gone.

A lot of thoughts flurry through my mind as I make the remainder of the walk home alone. And to say I’m not surprised that Mrs… I mean Penny Hale is just stepping out of Dad’s car when I get to the gate, is a bit of an understatement. If she weren’t already here then I’d be banging her door down myself.

‘Great minds and all that’ Leo smiles as he materialises from the back of the car – not using the door, obviously. I’d love to be able to walk through solid objects, it must be so cool.

‘Not as cool as your Mum and Dad,’ he grins, meeting me at the front door. ‘They’ve been talking about the conversation you had with my mum about the baby and everything – they’re pretty switched on as parents go – you’re lucky to have them, Mads.’

My cheeks hot up. Mostly because of the nearness of this gorgeous ghostly guy but I’m sure there’s also a little bit of pride for my parents thrown in there somewhere too.

‘I do hope so,’ Leo holds out his hand for me as we walk into the hallway.

Mum’s just emptied a load of biscuits onto a plate in the middle of the kitchen table and Davey must either be asleep or on in a different country because he’s not here scoffing the lot. Biscuits in our house usually mean deep, deep discussions. And not short ones either. They always come out when I bring a report home from school and the last time I saw a pile this high was the night we spent at our old house before we moved here. My heart flips a bit when I think back to how sad that night was and how angry and full of hate I felt for everyone; everything. How can things change so quickly?

‘Leo tells me you’ve discovered something very important, Maddie,’ Mrs… Penny says, waving away a chocolate biscuit that Mum’s held out to her. ‘I knew you’d work it out eventually, you’re a very bright girl you know.’

My cheeks flame again. I hate being told I’m clever by grown ups. It makes me feel about five years old. And I’m not clever – not really. It wasn’t rocket science, how I arrived at this conclusion. And it might not even be the right one – who knows? How can living people prevent dead people from moving on anyway?

First Mum tells Penny how lovely Leo’s mum is and how she’s clearly accepted the tragic death of her children and moved on with her life and her family. And Dad, just so that he can take part in the discussion, tells us how Uncle Victor is so rubbish with his accounting system and that he might need to work more hours than Leo’s Uncle thinks. This is all good news.

‘But the thing is,’ Penny gets us back on track, ‘if Leo’s mother was pregnant and didn’t get the chance to tell Leo and Mia this, then it is something that still plays on her mind – holds her back from completely letting them go. Do you see what I mean?’

I frown. I sort of get it – I think. Mum nods half-heartedly and Dad does his best impression of a dog in the back window of a car. Ha! I’d love it if Mrs…Penny asked him questions about this. I bet he doesn’t really know what she’s talking about. Then he opens his mouth to speak.

‘So the fact that Antonella doesn’t know her dead children know about her new child has left some kind of gap between her world and theirs?’ he says eagerly.

I’m about to snort at the implausibility of this nonsense when I am shocked to see Penny’s head bobbing.

‘That’s right, Phillip,’ she says. ‘Leo’s mother has unwittingly made it difficult - in fact, impossible - for her family to move on and she is actually preventing them from leaving the living plane. This happens a great deal more often than we realise. A lot of spirits are chained, if you liked, to our world because the people they leave behind can’t move on from their death. They so want them not to have died, that the perpetual remembrance of them and wishing they would come back and not have died in the first place, keeps their spirits tethered in a kind of non-world that they are forced to endure. And it’s not their choice. Not really. Which is the reason some spirits get angry and throw things.’

‘Poltergeists,’ Dad says knowledgeably.

Mum’s mouth is open. It’s not attractive. There’s biscuit on her bottom lip.

‘Good grief,’ she says. ‘That sounds awful. Not only have they died and left the ones they love behind, they also can’t move on because the mourners won’t let them. There should be lessons in this.’

‘There should be a law against it,’ I say confidently, trying to lift the seriousness of the conversation.

Leo nudges my elbow, which actually only feels like someone’s brushed a piece of fluff against it. But it’s nice to know I can feel something of him. He smiles back at me and my stomach out-performs a dolphin leaping above and below warm waves. I sigh deeply and girlishly. I should really wait and do all my sighing and swooning for when he’s not around. And I still can’t believe he might be going. Just when I’ve gotten used to him being here.

thirty-five

It’s late by the time Penny goes home (again. It feels like she almost lives here now). And even though we don’t get much farther than talking about why Leo and his family are still here, at least we’re all agreed on the reason for them not having moved on. But none of us were able to come up with a clever enough idea about how to tell Antonella that Leo, Mia and her in-laws now know about the addition to their family. In fact, I did think that once Leo had told his grandparents, that they might just disappear “poof” just like that because it would have closed the gap. Like the doors swooshing shut on the underground or something.

They didn’t though. Disappear I mean. Apparently Nonna and Nonno were so delighted they’ve decided to visit the restaurant. Mia said she can’t wait but she wants to go when Leo’s there and Leo said he could wait and he’ll see their brother the next time Antonella brings him to the restaurant. I bet a baby version of Leo is adorable. I can hardly wait to see him myself.

They’re on the floor in front of the telly right now, watching ‘Toy Story 2’ because they only got to see the first one. They’re loving it. And as I watch the two ghosts laughing at Woody and Buzz’s antics on screen feel a definite warmth of responsibility for these two lost souls. I can’t help thinking that if it weren’t for us being here, they wouldn’t be having much of a life right now. I mean death. Oh, you know what I mean. Perhaps this is how everything will be forever more. Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, would it??

However Amber isn’t sold on the idea.

‘You can’t just keep a ghost like he’s your pet or something,’ she scorns me at break time the following day. ‘It’s probably not even legal.’

‘So, what - I’d have to have a license for him or something?’ I scoff back. ‘Come off it, Amber, there’s nowhere anywhere that states a living person can’t be haunted by a dead one. I’d know.’

‘Oh, so just because you just happen to be living in a haunted house makes you some kind of ghost expert then, does it?’ she snips back.

I scowl so hard my eyebrows actually begin to hurt. Why is she being like this? Why can’t she be pleased for me? Why is she acting so unreasonably?

‘Maybe she’s a little bit jealous?’ Leo offers over my shoulder. ‘She probably wishes she could have unlimited ghost access too!’

I laugh at this and of course Amber thinks I’m laughing at her. I stop immediately and point at Leo, which just so happens to be in the same direction as Ed Loake stuffing his PE bag into his locker. He slides a sideways glance at me and turns his head back really quickly. He doesn’t look pleased. And now Leo’s laughing. I scowl at him to stop.

‘Oh. Oh…I get it – your invisible boyfriend’s here, is he?’ Amber sneers. ‘I know, why don’t you invite him round for dinner one night and he can get to know your parents while he tries to pick up his knife and fork!’

I am flabbergasted.

‘I don’t understand why you’re being like this, Amber,’ I hiss, ‘ it’s okay for you, isn’t it? You’ve still got your lovely big house and your lovely thick carpets and your lovely en-suite bathroom – which I’d trade for anything right now – but you don’t seem to think that’s good enough – you want dead people wandering about in your life too? Well believe me, if I could, I’d let you have them tomorrow!’

It’s like someone just pressed the mute button on the remote. The corridor goes deathly quiet. Shit. I must’ve shouted that really loudly. Amber’s face has gone pale and if she was a horse her ears would be flat to her head with astonishment, maybe a bit of fear. Ed Loake is standing and just staring, one trainer hanging from his hand, and Leo…. well, he’s disappeared, hasn’t he?

I don’t even want to go home after school. Amber passed me a note in English asking me if I was okay and I just screwed it up. I did nod a little so she didn’t think I was being totally rude. But I just didn’t feel like explaining. Because, well, frankly, explanations are beginning to elude me. Just like the way I couldn’t explain properly to Ed why I can’t go out with him; just like I can’t really explain the feelings I have for a boy who died three years ago and just like I still can’t explain how much I miss our old life and yet not so much as I thought I did.

It isn’t until I’m here that I realise I’ve walked from school to the Restaurant and I’m not even sure why. It’s not the usual route I take home – but then I didn’t really want to go home, did I? Maybe my subconscious has brought me here. Antonella didn’t give me a rota for today and I don’t know if Dad’s helping Uncle Victor, but now I’m here I can’t seem to make my legs go any farther down the road. I seem to be standing for ages just staring at the menu which is stuck inside a glass case on the inside of the big window which faces out onto the street.

‘Shall we?’ a voice appears to my right.

‘Oh my god!’ I squeak in surprise as Amber’s hand reaches out to mine. ‘How the hell did you know I was going to be here – even I didn’t!’

‘It’s called stalking,’ Amber flushes. ‘I may not be the best friend in the world right now, but I am a fully qualified stalker, right?’ she grins and squeezes my hand as we push our way through the double doors into the welcoming warmth of the restaurant.

I’m still not entirely sure what to say to her, especially after our little disagreement earlier on, but I’m happy that she’s here. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be with me right now.