DEAD GOOD (28 page)

‘It’s a happy ending, lovey,’ Mum says, rubbing the back of my hand and giving me one of her gentle smiles. She knows I’m a whisker away from tears but she’s kind enough not to mention this fact. ‘It couldn’t have worked better if we’d come up with the idea ourselves. I’m proud of the way you’ve handled all this, Maddie, really I am.’

I don’t get a lot of sleep; even hearing the pipes thump when the heating goes off makes me remember Leo banging the side of the bath in frustration. And that, in turn, makes me remember the amazing kiss we shared in the bathroom. When I wake up, I remember dreaming of huge white, fluffy flying hippos and it makes me feel a bit cheated because I thought at least I’d get to dream of him – see him one last time.

So, it feels like a very normal thing to do given the circumstances and after a perfectly ordinary, very peaceful morning topped off with lovely, comforting roast lunch, we are in Homebase on a quest for paint and wallpaper for mine and Davey’s bedrooms.

Like mum said, jollying us all along, although none of us are exactly delighted with the idea of not living in Juniper Gardens anymore, we have to bite the bullet, get on with what we’ve got; our health and each other were the main things I think we decided on – which I know is a bit cheesy and soapy, but I’m willing to go along with it for the time being – and make the most of things. Dad’s got his bit of work at the restaurant – he’s back there this evening and I’m helping Antonella out tomorrow night which I’m quite excited about – my first proper “job”!

And I’m thinking about starting a blog to record all the things that have happened to us since we left Juniper Gardens and moved here. I want to make sure I remember everything that’s happened. Otherwise it’s going to feel like a mad dream I once had, or a story I heard someone else tell. But I think I’m going to use a pseudonym for the blog – for the time being anyway. I don’t really want the whole world, especially school, to know that we had ghosts in case they think I’m some kind of weirdo or something. Oh, and the fact that Mrs… I mean Penny Hale is meeting mum in town for a coffee during the week – which is completely crazy – or would be if anyone from school found out. I don’t want everyone to start calling me Hermione Granger or Bella Swan. That would be totally sad.

Davey thinks all the wallpaper we look at is his favourite and he’s starting to get right up my nose the way he normally does. First he wants trains and then dad shows him aeroplanes and then mum spots some boats. I found some Superhero paper which he totally freaked over – in a good way – but he can’t decide. Dad’s even suggested he have one design on each wall which is just a completely stupid idea. I mean it would be so loud in his room he wouldn’t be able to hear himself think. Right now he’s just playing with the paste brushes while I have a look through all the girly stuff.

I like the swirls and I like the great big flowers. But not in pink. Amber would love all these pretty fluffy patterns but I want something bolder. I want to make a statement and I want a feature wall that totally rocks. Outlined black roses on a pale green background. Those. That’s the one. It’s perfect. And only one wall. Then the other walls can be painted the same shade of pale green as the paper and everything will be calm and serene and just… perfect.

I’m playing about with a gorgeous glassy chandelier thing which I would absolutely love hanging from my bedroom ceiling but I’m not sure how much mum and dad can afford to spend, when I notice a shuffle at my side and then a cough. Of course, bearing in mind recent “activities”, I can be forgiven for being a little jumpy and so I squeak a bit when an elbow nudges me.

‘Hey!’

‘H…e..y yourself!’ I say carefully back as I turn and realise that I am touching sleeves with Ed Loake. Ed Loake comes to Homebase. Who’d have thought? Life (and death, I think sardonically) is just full of surprises. Maybe I put him so high on a pedestal that I couldn’t see how actually normal he really is.

‘So… you like that?’ he says, his eyebrows doing a kind of dance across his forehead. It’s a very sexy dance and one that I’ve sat and watched many times during double History. Especially when he’s been asked a particularly complicated question he’s not certain of the answer to. Hmm. I nod and continue to play about with the chandelier’s lovely dangly beady things. It keeps my hand steady anyway – I’d hate to be a trembler in front of Ed Loake.

‘Yeah, it’s pretty,’ I say.

‘It is,’ he says back. ‘Pretty.’ Then he kind of shuffles a bit. ‘So –’ he grins lopsidedly – which again is quite sexy – if you’re that kind of girl ‘Um… how’re the complications?’

‘Here...’ he hands me a piece of paper. ‘My mobile number’s on this… let me know when you’re around, yeah? You might want to .. I don’t know, talk about it or something, yeah?’

I’m trying not to frown. Which is pretty difficult when you’re also trying not work out when the bucket of cold baked beans is going to empty all over your head and everyone starts clapping and laughing at the stupid, dumb girl with a crush in Homebase. I turned him down and he’s back for more?

‘Chosen something then?’ dad suddenly ambushes my scenario, smiling like a lemon.

‘Um… yeah, I think she has,’ Ed smiles at me. I can feel myself flush back and I know I have to say something.

‘Yeah, maybe – oh, dad… this is Ed Loake.. from school.. I don’t know.. um, if I…we have history… together… I mean in the same class. At school.’

Dad does his stupidly awkward father routine and nods, puts his hand out to shake Ed’s. This moment couldn’t be more embarrassing if I was wearing a big clown nose and had Sideshow Bob hair. Which I do sometimes get especially in wet weather. But I’m learning how to train it. I’m mumbling. I’m waffling. I’m nervous. But the great thing is – Ed has no idea. He can’t hear me. I can waffle and mutter and stumble about in my own head for as much as I like or as long as it takes me to form a coherent sentence – in my own head. On my own time. Ha! I am normal. Once again I am me.

‘This?’ dad says pointing to the chandelier and then turning over the price tag. ‘Oooh I think we can stretch to that seeing’s as you’re only having one wall papered, eh? Oh, and not forgetting you start your new job tomorrow too, eh?’ he nudges me like we’re in a pantomime together and I scowl really hard to make him cease and desist. ‘Proper working girl now…’ he trails off and it’s clear he realises he’d not entirely required within our immediate vicinity and so bless him, clears his throat and picks up a box with the chandelier in it. We watch him as he strolls down the aisle to meet mum and Davey and they pull out a roll of the paper I’ve chosen and make their way over to the tills. Davey turns round, points and giggles. The way stupid, idiot brothers do.

And I’m just about to start to tell him how mental our house can be at times too, when his mum appears behind us and coughs politely.

‘No. I won’t. And thanks,’ I swallow a whole flurry of butterflies and watch him make his way through customers and down the aisle towards the tills. Did that really happen?

For a moment I feel abandoned. Like the whole of the store has emptied and there’s only me left here. I replay our conversation in my head. Over and over. And it’s no use, I can’t stop sounding like a complete idiot.

But he said the word “pretty” right next to me, didn’t he? Right near my ear. Okay so he was talking about a light fitting but if I screw my eyes up tightly and concentrate really, really hard I can somehow make believe he was actually looking at me when he said that word. And that he was talking about me. He was, he was, he was. Well he could have been. In my head he was, anyway. He was I hear even louder in my head. Wait. Was that in my head? I turn cautiously, so as not to affect the air around my body, just in case it might… oh I don’t know… adjust the volume? I stare wide-eyed about me, desperately trying to see if I can make out any ghostly outlines or… well, anything really.

I see sandpaper, saws and drill bits. But I see no ghosts.

I sigh and stuff my hands in my pocket, making my way over to the exit as I see Mum, Dad and Davey waiting and I feel the piece of paper Ed just handed me. I take it out and look at it. It’s definitely a phone number. Of course it could quite easily be made-up or somebody else’s or the local chippy or something. I turn it over in my hands and notice there’s some writing on the back as well.

In red biro I see a huge smiley face and the letters “E.L over the top and “M.P” underneath. And there’s an unmistakable little red ‘x’ under that. Like the smiley face has a kiss for a bowtie. So he can’t be cross with me about not saying ‘yes’ to him the other day then.

My heart does a massive flip-flop, my spine stretches about ten centimetres and I feel like I’ve gone to Homebase Heaven. Well, I don’t blame him for not *heart*ing me… I’ll take a smiley face for the time being and see what happens. Because you just never know, do you?

The End

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