Dead If I Do (13 page)

Sebastian could sense my hesitation, so he added, “I’m the only one who can handle Teréza if she shows.”

I was going to say something about how far she’d have to travel on foot to catch up with us, when I remembered she could pop up wherever she wanted to. “Oh, all right,” I said. “It makes sense.”

I set everyone else on task. We placed our candles in the center of each arm of the crossroads. A member of the coven stood by each with a box of matches. The rest of us took handfuls of snow from the ditch to make a little mound of snow in the middle of the intersection. I made a little depression in the snow with my fist and then dumped in half of the bag of herbs. Then I lit a corner of the charcoal brick and set it on top of the heap. In a moment, scented smoke began to rise. The herbs burned dully, casting an eerie, shadowy light in the almost completely darkened intersection. Griffin, who stood in the north arm, bent down and lit his candle. It took a couple of tries before the wick caught, but soon it was flickering in the slight breeze. In the east, Xylia lit her candle, followed by William in the south and Blythe in the west. Once the candles were going, we began to hum. We’d been working together as a group for several months now, and we’d discovered that we all centered quickly when we sang or hummed the “Circle Song.” It had a very simple tune and a repetitive chorus of “We are a circle, within a circle, with no beginning and never ending.” As we sang, I took pinches of herbs and tossed them onto the charcoal. Their impact made a dramatic puff of aromatic smoke.

I let Lilith rise slowly. The tangy scent of frankincense mingled with the sharper odor of pine sap, putting me in mind of all the times I’d practiced magic and smelled such smells. Above, the blackness of the sky seemed immense and as endless as the circle in our song. The cold air kissed my exposed cheeks, focusing me on this moment. When I felt that Lilith and I were together, I took the sheet of paper and black felt marker out of my bag. On one side I wrote,

“Return to Sender,” on the other, “Break this curse.” I held it up for the coven to see and for them to add their energy to. Once they had, I tossed it onto the smoldering pile of herbs. The paper caught quickly and soon burned to ashes. I visualized the smoke taking the hex back to the one who originally cast it.

The last step in our spell was to raise the energy of protection and then, finally, those of us in the center would stomp on the remains of the incense pyre and thus fully break up the curse.

Someone started singing the words to the circle song again to begin our traditional way of raising energy. One by one, each person joined in. Xylia’s bright soprano, William’s baritone, Griffin’s gruff base, Blythe’s warble, and finally . . . A car horn let out a wailing honk. Headlights blinded me as a vehicle came barreling around the curve. Xylia dove for cover. I raised my hand. My only thought was, Stop the car! Lilith’s energy shot out of me like a hammer. I heard the engine stall. The truck plowed over a candle, and the brakes hissed. Lilith continued to push against the oncoming force. The vehicle skidded on the ice but stopped less than a foot from my outstretched palm.

Lilith retreated. My hand trembled, and I dropped it to my side, feeling spent. All the energy we ’d raised had dissipated into stopping the truck. Suddenly I felt a bit like that deer, staring into the battered grill of a Chevy pickup truck. I could see the startled expression of a man in a cap through the windshield. He slammed his fists on the steering wheel and said something I couldn’t hear. When the door opened, he was still cursing. He stumbled awkwardly out of the vehicle. His words were slurred.

“What the hell you kids doing out here in the middle of the road? ” His eyes narrowed in on the plastic bag in my hand. “Is this some sort of drug party? Are you people crazy or something?”

The guy had the uniform of a Midwestern farmer down pat: work boots, faded jeans, and a plaid shirt with a parka vest over it. Sandy brown hair stubbled his head and merged with a slightly grayer five o’clock shadow. I totally expected him to have a gun rack in the cab of his truck, but instead I thought I saw a Feingold for President button on the collar of his vest. I continued to stare at the interloper with my caught-in-the-headlights look. Where the hell was Sebastian? He was supposed to be our lookout! Had he gotten into some trouble?

“Hey,” the farmer guy said, his eyes darting from the candles to the smoldering herbs. He swayed unsteadily on his feet and gripped the handle of his truck door to steady himself. “What’s going on? What are you doing in the middle of the road?”

Griffin swaggered over, his shoulders squared. “Practicing magic. What are you doing? It’s the middle of the night. This is the middle of nowhere.”

Farmer-guy was taken aback. He blinked rapidly. I thought he might have a heart attack. Instead he stammered, “I was going home. It’s bar close. Did you say magic? Are you a cult or something?”

Griffin shook his head, his long hair bright in the headlights. “Wiccans.”

William came up beside me. In a loud whisper, he asked, “What’s Griffin doing? Do we have one of those mind-wiping pens the men-in-black guys have?”

I snorted a laugh. I kind of wished we did. “We should get out of the road so you can get on your way, eh?”

The farmer glanced at me as if he just realized I was there. He looked at Griffin, who nodded like he thought that might be a good idea. Finally, the farmer tipped his hat. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

I motioned for everyone to move off to the side. He started up the engine, looking at me through the windshield with a baffled expression. He kept shaking his head, as if trying to banish us all like a bad dream. The truck rolled gingerly past us, scattering the ashes in the snow mound under a tire. I rubbed my nose, which was starting to feel the effects of the cold. “Well, that spell was officially screwed.”

“Fucked up, more like,” said Griffin, coming over to where William and I stood watching the taillights retreat in the darkness. The others gathered around. “Should we do it again?” someone asked.

Xylia checked her watch. “It’s well past midnight now. Does the spell have to happen at midnight?”

“Maybe it was still good,” said Blythe. “We were almost done.”

“Almost isn’t all the way,” Griffin said.

“I’m hungry,” someone said. “Can we skip to the cakes and ale part?”

“Where’s Sebastian?” I asked out loud. “He was supposed to make sure that no one interrupted us. Do you think Teréza followed us?”

My question was answered by a bloodcurdling scream. My heart jumped in my throat. I couldn’t tell where the noise had come from. The whole woods seemed silent now. Ice glinted dully on the straw in the marsh.

“What the hell was that?” Xylia asked.

“Trouble, I’d wager,” Blythe said.

“Let’s hope Sebastian can take care of whatever it is,” William murmured.

I closed my eyes momentarily and called up the second sight, my magical senses. When I opened my eyes, the crossroads glowed with the energy the coven had raised. A purplish glow made a giant X marking the spot of the ritual. The flickering flames of the remaining candles were white-hot dots. Each coven member’s aura glowed around them like a soft blanket, blending with

the purplish power that surrounded all of us. I scanned the forest. Sebastian had no aura, because he was dead, so I wasn ’t expecting to see any sign of him.

However, Sebastian and I were connected by a silver thread, thanks to a blood-bonding spell we did long ago. Searching for it revealed a thin line heading in the direction of the woods, but it seemed to be obscured by a more powerful magic. Teréza.

If Teréza was out there, I figured she’d light up like a Roman candle. She was dead—or used to be, and she had so much magic coursing through her, sustaining her. Plus, I knew she left a signature. I ’d seen it before, when she disappeared at Sebastian’s farm.

There was nothing. “Sebastian!” I called out. “Where are you?” Nothing. Then, I thought to try: “Teréza?”

A flash! A golden stab of magical light flared through the trunks of the pine trees. “There,” I pointed, though I knew I was the only one who could see it. “He’s over there.”

Without question, the coven followed me as I ran toward where I last saw the glint of magic. The snow crunched underfoot as several sets of boots slid down the ditch and took us into the trees. Tall grass dragged at my legs, and I sank into snow up to my knees.

I pushed myself onward as fast as I could. The soft, slippery stalks stymied my progress. I strained to hear any noise of struggle, any sign that Sebastian was alive—okay, upright—and fighting.

If she was hurting him . . . My teeth set. I’d kill her. With a mighty burst of strength aided by desperation and Lilith, I cleared the tall, tangled weeds. Under the shelter of the tall pine trees, the ground was hard -packed. In places, dirt was even exposed. Passing a ragged, hand-printed Trespassers Will Be Shot sign, I ran into the stand of trees. In a clearing, I saw them. They were pressed close together. The smell of pine was sharp in my nose. Sebastian’s back was up against the trunk of a pine. Teréza’s hands touched Sebastian’s throat and, for a second, I thought she was trying to choke him again. Then I watched as her hand trailed slowly down his shoulders to his waist. They weren’t locked in mortal combat. They were kissing.

I was going to
kill
him.

Sixth Aspect: Inconjunct

KEY WORDS:
Poor Judgment, Insecurity

My eyes widened, and my breath came in short, angry
huffs as Sebastian and Teréza continued to kiss while the entire coven looked on.

Lilith grew hot under my skin. I could feel her proverbial claws descending. I tried to counter her presence with some deep breathing, but I kept snarling. That wasn’t helping.

“Dude,” someone said reproachfully.

Sebastian broke away. “Oh,” he said, his eyes scanning the bevy of disapproving looks. “Uh, I can explain.”

My snarl sounded a bit like a tiger’s. I had a bad feeling that my eyes glowed like lava. William, ever sensitive, started to hum the “Circle Song.” I could hear others picking it up slowly. They were trying to ground me—to help me keep Lilith from emerging and slaughtering Sebastian and Teréza where they stood. Despite the fact that I wasn’t entirely sure I didn’t want to see some blood, I could feel myself calming to the sound of the familiar tune.

I raised my hand to let everyone know I felt in control and to stifle further disparaging commentary from the peanut gallery. I was curious, after all. How did Sebastian think he could explain away this hello-we’re-supposed-to-be-married-in-a-week-anda-half transgression?

Sebastian wriggled desperately in Teréza’s clutches, likely trying to get some respectable distance between them. He looked really nervous. He knew exactly the disaster the coven’s humming had averted. Teréza, meanwhile, held on tightly.

“It was the only way I could get her to calm down,” Sebastian said.

“Huh.” I grunted, my eyes watching the way his arm continued to cup her waist distractedly. Lilith lifted my lips in a sneer. I could feel her pulling away from my control. She wanted to throttle him. And Teréza. And everyone here.

Hmmm, it was the last part that reminded me why I couldn’t let her all the way out. She never cared who she killed, just as long as someone died . . . hard and often.

The humming intensified.

Sebastian’s eyes darted around the coven. He knew he was in trouble.

“She . . . Teréza was going to kill me,” he said. Noticing my glance, he shifted so that both his hands were at his side. Teréza, with her arms still around his waist tightly, laid her head against his chest. She didn’t seem all that threatening anymore. Despite myself, I couldn’t help but notice how similar they were.

“I had to defend myself,” Sebastian said.

I wasn’t listening. All I saw was the way they were together. Similarly pale, unearthly skin glowed faintly in the moonlight. Teréza’s long, curling hair had an inky blackness that seemed to blend into the night, like Sebastian ’s. Maybe it was way they carried themselves, but something about them both seemed to be out of this time, from another era, though they were dressed in regular clothes, even if Teréza’s skirt was ragged and Sebastian was underdressed for the weather as usual. For that matter, neither Sebastian nor Teréza shivered, like I did, in the cold.

Teréza’s eyes watched me with rare clarity. I saw in her stare the hunger —that strange craving that always came between Sebastian and me. I might understand Sebastian’s thirst for blood in theory, but in practice I had to admit it repulsed me. He was a vampire.

So was she.

And they had a kid together.

How was I ever going to compete with that?

“I had to think of something to distract her,” Sebastian continued weakly.

Someone jumped in with: “So you kissed her? Dude.”

Funny though it was, that was the wrong thing to say. Lilith reared up. I felt fire, like lightning, scorch through my veins. My conscious thought began breaking down into a repetitive phrase: Kill them, kill them all. But a circle tightened around me like a noose. Raging against the constricting bond, I felt I could break it. Yes, it would be easy. Then they would all die.