Dead Reckoning (37 page)

 
Kate woke with a start, her heart pounding, her breaths coming short and fast. She was lying on her side, stretched out on the sofa. She could feel the solid warmth of Frank behind her. And for the first time she realized the heady pulse of arousal between her legs. The sensation of fullness in her breasts. The pleasant ache low in her belly as her womb contracted.

Around her the living room was dark. She could see into the kitchen where Frank had left the light on above the stove. She could hear rain hitting the roof. The hiss of heat coming through the furnace vents.

Snuggled behind her, Frank slept. His arm was around her. At some point during the night, he’d placed a pillow beneath her cheek and covered her with the afghan she’d draped over the back of the sofa. And for the first time in a long time, Kate felt completely safe and utterly content.

“You awake?”

She smiled at the sound of his voice. “Yeah.” She wanted to make eye contact with him, but for the life of her she couldn’t make herself turn around and face him.

“You cried out in your sleep,” he said.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay.” He was silent for a moment. “You called out my name.”

When she didn’t respond, he sat up, gently pulling her up with him so that they were sitting side by side. “Bad dream?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No,” she said, but she couldn’t look at him.

“I just figured if you’re calling out my name, it’s got to be bad.” He grinned.

Kate choked out a laugh, and it eased some of the tension inside her. It gave her the strength she needed to meet his gaze. His eyes were black in the darkness, and she got the uneasy sensation that he was looking right through her. She was keenly aware that her panties were damp against her skin. That her breasts were tingling.

“Are you okay with this?” he asked. Never taking his eyes from hers, he raised his hand and set his palm against her cheek. “With me being this close to you?”

“I’m okay.” But her heart was pounding so hard she was breathless.

“You’re shaking.”

“I think it’s a good kind of shaking.”

“You know I’d never hurt you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she said, and the truth of that warmed her.

She could tell he wanted to say something. Probably something inappropriate judging from his expression. But she knew Frank was an astute man. He knew that this moment was profound. He knew they had arrived at a crossroads, and he wasn’t quite sure which direction to take.

His face was less than a foot from hers. His eyes searched her face, as if looking for some clue that would tell him what to do next. But Kate knew what he wanted to do. There was a small, reckless part of her that wanted him to. But in some small corner of her mind, she was terrified. Terrified that she wouldn’t be able to respond. That she wouldn’t feel anything. That she was cold inside, as she’d always believed.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I laid eyes on you,” he said.

Kate smiled, but she felt her lips tremble. “I wanted to fire you the first time I saw you.”

They laughed together and she felt another notch of tension melt away.

“I wanted to do a hell of a lot more than kiss you,” he admitted. “I still do.”

Kate couldn’t speak. The urge to pull back and run was strong. But the need to heal herself, free herself, was stronger. Until this moment she hadn’t realized how desperately she wanted those things.

“Maybe we could start with something simple,” she whispered.

“Like this?” Leaning close, he brushed his mouth against hers. It was a tentative kiss, a feather touch of his mouth to hers, but every nerve ending in her body zinged on contact. All she could think was that she’d never felt anything so powerful in her life.

When he pulled back an instant later, his nostrils flared. “On second thought, I don’t think there’s going to be anything simple about this.”

“I’m good at complicated,” she said.

“You’re probably good at math, too.”

“A whiz.”

He kissed her again, and this time it wasn’t gentle. Kate tasted hunger on his mouth. She could feel that same hunger coursing through her body. But it was tempered by the uneasy sensation that she was in over her head. That she’d bitten off more than she could chew.

Frank didn’t give her a chance to think about it too long. His kisses were raw and urgent and demanding. Kate could do nothing but respond in kind. In some foggy corner of her mind it occurred to her that she didn’t know how to do this. But for the first time in her adult life, she trusted her instincts to guide her. She trusted Frank to show her.

Vaguely she was aware of her breaths rushing in and out of her lungs. The hard thump of her pulse in her ears. She could feel the heat of arousal barreling through her body, but this time she was not afraid and reveled in the wonder of it.

She was still wearing the turtleneck and jeans from earlier. She could feel Frank’s hands on her face, sliding to her waist. A tremor ripped through her when he brushed his fingertips over her breasts. Even through the fabric the sensation was powerful enough to take her breath.

Kate was not a sexual being. For eleven long years she’d known there were certain parts of her psyche that would never heal. She’d accepted the reality of that and learned to live with it. Until recently, she’d never even questioned it. Never missed it.

And then came Frank with his troubled eyes and quicksilver grin and he changed everything she’d ever believed about herself.

She cried out when his hands closed over her breasts. A small part of her wanted to retreat. She needed time to think, to get herself under control. But the stronger part of her rejoiced in the sensation of being touched so intimately and with such utter gentleness.

She wanted to touch him, too. She wanted to explore his body. Discover his secrets. Give him pleasure the same way he was pleasuring her. But it was too much too soon, and Kate couldn’t make herself do it.

“I want to touch your skin.”

His whisper came to her on a sigh. Raising her arms, he pulled the turtleneck over her head. Cool air rushed over her heated skin. She wore only her bra. Embarrassment nudged her, but Kate was too caught up in the moment to care.

Pulling back slightly, he gazed directly into her eyes as he unlatched the front closure and eased the scrap of lace from her shoulders. Kate shivered when his eyes dipped to her breasts. His jaw flexed. When he raised his eyes back to hers, they were dark with desire.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.

A shudder moved through her when he brushed his palms over her nipples. The sensation raced through her body like electricity. She could feel her breasts swelling, her nipples puckering into tight buds. Low in her belly, her womb fluttered.

“Are you okay with this?” he whispered.

But Kate’s heart was beating so hard she couldn’t speak. He was looking at her strangely, and for an instant she felt awkward and foolish and light-years out of her league. But for the first time in her life she knew what it was to want with such desperation that she was willing to put her uncertainties and fears aside.

“I’m okay,” she said.

His gaze went smoky. Never taking his eyes from hers, he unsnapped his slacks and lowered the zipper. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and tugged them down. She couldn’t bring herself to look. She was terrified she’d lose her nerve and stop. She did not want to stop.

Gently he took her hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed her fingertips. Her knuckles. He ran his tongue over her palm. “Look at me.”

She stared at him an instant longer, then dropped her eyes. He was thickly built, with a long shaft that sent a pang of lust through her belly. Then he was lowering her hand, wrapping her fingers around the length of him. The skin was like velvet, but beneath the soft tip he was like steel, pulsing and hot to the touch.

A groan rumbled up from his throat. His breath quickened when she ran her fingertips over him, and he moved against her, sliding flesh against flesh. Abruptly he wrapped his fingers around her wrist and moved her hand away. He stood quickly and the next thing she was being swept into his arms.

“Matrone, what are you doing?” she whispered.

“Something both of us have wanted—” His words were interrupted when his shin thumped against the coffee table. “Ouch. Damn it.”

Kate giggled.

Frank grinned down at her. “That wasn’t supposed to be funny.”

“I always laugh at the wrong things.”

“One of a thousand things I like about you,” he said and kissed her.

The bedroom stood in shadows. Frank carried her to the bed and let her slide to her feet next to it. She hoped he didn’t notice the raw nerves slicing through her. She wore only her jeans now, and for several long seconds he stood there and looked at her as if she were a magnificent work of art and his eyes would never be able to take in every detail. Needing something to do with her hands, Kate reached out and began to unbutton his shirt. But her fingers were shaking so badly she couldn’t manage a single one.

He took her hands in his, kissed both her knuckles, and then began unbuttoning his shirt himself. He made short work of the buttons. The world tilted beneath her feet when his wide chest came into view. It was covered with a thatch of black hair. All she could think was male animal. He was leanly built, but it wasn’t for lack of muscle.

Kate felt overwhelmed. Intimidated by the power of his sexuality. She didn’t know what to do next. But all of those uncertainties were tempered by the power of her own need.

She jolted when he reached for the snap of her jeans and was immediately embarrassed by her reaction. “I’m not used to doing this. I’m not sure I know how. I don’t know what comes next. I mean, technically, I do, of course.” Kate never babbled, but she was now and she couldn’t seem to stop.

“You’re overthinking this.”

“I overthink everything.”

He smiled. “Another thing I love about you.” Lifting his finger, Frank set it gently against her lips. “Let me show you.”

Her senses lit up when he kissed her. He used his tongue this time. She could feel her body heating and flexing. Her fears and uncertainties melting away like ice beneath a blow-torch. His hands were gentle and sure as they unsnapped her jeans. Kate didn’t let herself think as she peeled them from her body and stepped out of them.

And then she stood before him, wearing nothing more than her panties, and she felt wonderful. Pulling back slightly, he stood naked before her. Arousal was like hot wax, burning between her legs. It was tortuous and sweet and like nothing she’d ever experienced in her life.

He kissed her mouth. Her temple. The point of her chin. Kate closed her eyes and let the pleasure rush over her, a waterfall of sensation that warmed her from the inside out. He trailed kisses down her throat, leaving a wet trail that cooled her heated flesh. She knew what he was going to do next and she braced. But the sensation of his mouth closing over her nipple was nothing like she’d imagined. The intensity wrenched a cry from her throat. Her back arched. Her arms went around his head. He suckled her hard, nipping at the sensitive bud with his teeth, first one breast and then the other. Need burgeoned, like a wildfire inside her, burning out of control.

He raised his head and kissed her hard on the mouth. Kate kissed him back hungrily now. He eased her onto the bed and lay down beside her. Her entire body quivered when he set his hand against her flat pelvis. Her legs opened as if of their own volition. The sight of his hand on her body shocked her, frightened her, thrilled her.

And Kate knew this moment would irrevocably change her. She knew Frank was going to break down barriers. That he was going to make her lose control.

“I’m going to touch you.”

He didn’t give her time to change her mind. He slid his hand over her mound and the crisp curls at her vee. Kate nearly came up off the bed when he slicked his finger over her, into her. She could feel her muscles clutching at him. Her hips moving to accept him. She closed her eyes and bright white stars exploded behind her lids.

Leaning close, he kissed her breasts, laving the engorged nipples with his tongue. Kate grasped the sheets in her fists to keep herself from writhing. She’d never wanted this way before. The need was greedy and edgy and would not wait.

He kissed the valley between her breasts. Her belly quivered when he kissed her there. Kate knew what would happen next. Anticipation warred with a thousand uncertainties and a thousand more fears. Then he moved between her legs and set his mouth against her most intimate place, and she couldn’t think about anything except the pleasure.

Every nerve ending in her body exploded as he ran his tongue along her slit. He opened her slightly, and probed with his tongue, warm and wet and forbidden. Kate closed her eyes against the hot burst of sensation. She could feel her muscles trembling, powerful waves building low and deep. It was too much. It was not enough.

She wanted to cry out when the warmth of his mouth left her. She whispered his name as he kissed her belly, her breasts, and then he was kissing her mouth and she could taste the wetness of her body. She was keenly aware of his heated flesh against hers. The steel rod of his erection nudging her. He moved over her, keeping his weight off of her with his arms.