Dead Reckoning (39 page)

“That’s a tough situation, Frank. To be on a highly addictive medication for a year and not become addicted.” She hesitated. “OxyContin? OxyContin is a tough drug.”

“Yeah.”

She bit her lip. “Have you considered getting help?”

He hated the way that sounded. As if he had the willpower of some junkie. “I think I can kick it on my own, but I’ve got to deal with the injury first.”

“What kind of injury?”

“Shrapnel from a bomb. I almost lost my right leg. Took about three hundred staples and four surgeries to save it. But the nerves were severely damaged. Weeks passed and the pain didn’t go away. A couple of months later I was diagnosed with reflex dystrophy syndrome.”

“A nerve disorder?”

“It’s chronic and relatively rare. Happens with a high-impact injury.” He shrugged. “We’ve tried everything except surgery.”

“What kind of surgery?”

“It’s called sympathectomy and basically entails cutting the nerves. It will alleviate the pain, but I’ll lose all sensation in my leg.”

He wasn’t sure why he was telling her this. Trying to warn her off, maybe. Scare her away. But it wasn’t what he really needed to tell her. While being addicted to narcotics was bad enough, what he really needed to tell her was that he was incapable of giving her the kind of love she deserved. That kind of love had been torn from his heart the day Gittel died in his arms. Kate deserved better. She deserved a man who could give her his whole heart.

For several minutes they were silent, the only sound coming from the branches of the live oak scraping against the window.

“Who’s Gittel?”

Frank nearly started at the question and looked at her sharply. “How do you know about her?”

“You called me that the night I came over to your house.”

For an instant he didn’t know what to say. Words tangled in his throat, but none of them were right. “I met her when I was overseas. She was from Jerusalem. We were . . . together.”

“You were in love with her?”

Frank smiled, but it felt false on his face. “I was going to ask her to marry me.”

Kate blinked and he knew he had surprised her. “What happened?”

He hadn’t wanted to get into the details. Not tonight. He should have known Kate would ask. “She was killed in the same explosion that injured me.”
Not just killed,
he thought,
torn to pieces
.

“I have a feeling we’re just now getting to that
but
part of
erotic and intense and . . . incredible
.”

Frank turned to her. She was smiling, but he didn’t miss the skitter of nerves in her eyes. “I saw her die.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It fucked me up inside. It changed me.”

“Witnessing something so horrific would change anyone. But people heal, Frank. So will you.”

“Kate . . . what happened between us tonight reminded me of how good life can be. But I had no idea you hadn’t . . . That I was—”

“My first?”

He didn’t want to think of it that way, because it made him feel like a son of a bitch. “You deserve someone who can help you heal. A whole man who can give you his all. A man who can make you happy. You get tangled up with me, and I’ll drag you down.”

“What are you trying to tell me, Frank?”

“I’m telling you that I’m good at fucking things up. That I’ll probably fuck this up. I’ll fuck up what we have.”

“How can you know that?”

“I’m tapped out,” he said. “There’s nothing left.”

“You’ve been hurt, Frank. But you’ll heal.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. If we get any closer I’m afraid that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

 
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 1:23 A.M.

Kate stared at him, a hundred emotions rising and crashing inside her. She couldn’t believe he was telling her this. That he was ducking and running. Not Frank, whose inner strength she had come to admire so much. Not after everything they’d just shared. But the truth in his eyes was unmistakable, and Kate felt it like a stake through her heart.

“It’s okay to have sex, but add some emotional depth to the mix and you turn tail and run like a coward.” The words were out before she realized she was going to speak. He reached for her, but Kate was faster and slid from the bed, taking the top comforter with her.

Wrapping the sheet around his hips, he rose and crossed to her. “I’m telling you this to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?”

“Me. Goddamn it.” He sighed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh, that makes me feel a whole lot less used.”

Anger flashed in his eyes. “I didn’t use you, damn it. I didn’t know—” He bit off the words, his eyes skittering away.

But Kate knew what he was going to say and it infuriated her. “You didn’t know I’d never slept with anyone before? What’s the matter? Not casual enough for you?”

“I’m trying to do the right thing.”

“You’re trying to take the easy way out.”

“There’s nothing easy about any of this. Damn it, I care about you.”

She laughed, but even to her the sound had a bitter ring. She’d given him the power to hurt her. He’d taken that power and yanked out her heart. Whether he’d meant to or not didn’t matter. “I want you to leave. Now.”

Frank knew he should do exactly that. He could hear the voice in the back of his head screaming for him to take that first step toward the door. But the part of him that cared for her couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her hurt and angry and with so many words between them left unsaid.

For several long seconds the only sound came from their heavy breathing. Indecision and raw emotions he didn’t want to feel pulled him in different directions. His feelings for her terrified him. He knew just how quickly a loved one could be snatched away. He’d experienced the gut punch of grief. The black gaping hole of loss. Two things he never wanted to feel again as long as he lived.

But the primal side of him didn’t give a damn about feelings or intellect or right and wrong. All that side of him knew was what he wanted. The need screamed through him with every beat of his heart.

“Goddamn it.”

Crossing the distance between them in two resolute strides, he put her against the wall and crushed his mouth to hers.

Her body went rigid against his. He could feel the need clawing him, his control teetering on a dangerous edge, his intellect shouting for him to pull back and get the hell out of there. But when it came to Kate, Frank didn’t have a rational bone in his body. He kissed her long and deep and hard, trying desperately to convey all the things he couldn’t say. After several moments her body melted against his. He put his hands on either side of her face and feasted on her mouth, her neck. She didn’t put her arms around him, but she didn’t resist, either. It was all the encouragement he needed.

She gasped when he lowered his head and took a taut nipple into his mouth. She arched, giving him full access. Frank suckled her hard, wanting her deep in his mouth, needing her until he thought he would go mad with it. At some point he’d dropped the sheet. He could feel his cock against the smooth flesh of her belly. She was trembling. Choking back sobs. Breathing heavily. And he wanted her more than he wanted his next breath. More than he wanted to do the right thing.

Reaching between them, he tugged the comforter from her grip. He caught a glimpse of her surprised eyes. Her mouth opening to voice the protest he knew was there. He silenced her with a kiss. His hands were on her breasts. In her hair. The soft skin of her shoulders. He couldn’t get enough. Had to have more.

In a single, smooth motion he swept her into his arms and swung her around. Two steps and they tumbled onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. Frank came down on top of her. In the back of his mind he worried that this was too rough for her, too fast, too intense. But he could no more keep himself from ravishing her than he could stop the wild beat of his heart.

He wedged himself between her legs. She opened to him and he thrust into her and went deep. A keening sound tore from her throat when he began to pump. Then she was raising up to meet him, taking him deeply into her body. She was wet and tight, her body already contracting around him, driving him toward release at a dangerous speed. Her head went back and an instant later she climaxed.

Frank held back as long as he could, but his control had long since left him. He ground his teeth against the impending orgasm. A guttural sound ground from his throat as he emptied his seed inside her. Closed his eyes against the barrage of emotions that followed, refusing to feel any of them.

For several breathless minutes he lay on top of her on the bed, unable to move. Guilt churned in his gut. He felt like hell for what he’d done. He’d had sex with her. He’d hurt her. And then he’d had sex with her again. What a great guy.

The chirp of his cell phone drilled into his brain with all the finesse of a chainsaw. He sat up, located the phone still clipped to his belt on the floor and slid from the bed.

“Matrone,” he snapped.

“This is Detective Bates. Thought you might want to know Ellis is dead.”

Shock slapped him like a bullwhip. “Dead? How?”

“M.E. will do an autopsy, but it looks like a suicide. Poor bastard hung himself in his cell.”

“Are you sure?”

“Looks cut-and-dried. Officer found him in his cell, hanging from the top bunk. Looks like he used a blanket, tore it into strips, tied the strips together, and voilà: a makeshift noose.” Bates snapped something to someone else, then came back on the line. “Look, I gotta work this. Just thought you might want to know.”

Frank continued to grip the phone, even though the line was disconnected. He didn’t give a damn one way or another that Ellis was dead. As far as he was concerned, the sooner Ellis got to hell the better off the rest of the world would be. What didn’t sit well with him was that an egocentric sociopath like Ellis would commit suicide.

“What happened?”

He snapped his phone closed and looked at Kate. She was sitting on the bed, holding the comforter to her chest, her eyes sharp and questioning.

“Ellis is dead.” Quickly he relayed everything the detective had told him.

“Do you believe it?”

“I don’t know.” He cursed. “No.”

“It doesn’t fit his profile.” Taking the comforter with her, she crossed to the closet and opened the door. “Frank, I don’t know if it means anything, but I found a connection between Ferguson and Rooks and a dozen or so similar crimes.”

“What?” Frank caught a glimpse of pale flesh and titillating curves as she dropped the comforter and jammed her arms into the sleeves of a robe. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

He listened carefully as she told him about the string of fatal robberies spread over several states, several corporations, and several franchises. “Ferguson and Rooks is the only common denominator,” she finished.

“The ratio of robberies to the number of stores is high.”

“I can’t figure motive.”

“Money.” His cop’s mind spun into high gear.

“In most of the robberies, the cash taken was negligible.”

“We’re missing something.” He bent to retrieve his slacks and stepped into them. “I’ll take another look at everything when I get back.”

“Where are you going?”

“The jail, to see what I can find out.”

“I’m going with you.”

Frank reached for her. But it wasn’t to pull her to him the way he wanted. “No.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because it’s not your case.” He grimaced. “Because I don’t want you there.”

She looked at him as if he’d slapped her. “I’m on to something, damn it. I want to be involved.”

“I have to go.” Feeling like a jerk, he snagged his shirt from the floor, stepped into his shoes and socks.

“Wait a moment!”

He left the room without answering. He could hear her behind him, but he didn’t look at her.

“Don’t shut me out of this.”

“I didn’t. Mike Shelley did.” He started for the door.

“Or maybe this is a convenient excuse for you to push me away.”

He didn’t let himself think about that as he shrugged into his jacket. He didn’t let himself remember her face as he went through the front door. The one thing he couldn’t do, however, was keep himself from feeling.

Frank hit the sidewalk running. The Dallas cop was parked at the curb with his engine running. The window slid down as Frank approached.

The cop’s grin was a little too wide, a little too knowing, a little too smug. “Looks like we’re going to get some weather tonight.”

Frank hadn’t even noticed the sleet. “Ms. Megason and I were working on the Bruton Ellis case. I slept on the sofa. You got that?”

“No problem.”

“If any rumors start circulating, I’ll know where they originated. And I’ll make you sorry you opened your mouth.”

“I got it.”

Frank turned away and jogged toward his truck.

TWENTY-SEVEN

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 1:35 A.M.

Kate stood beneath the shower and let the hot water wash away the tension, the bone-deep weariness, and the tears she didn’t want to cry. Too much had happened in the last twenty-four hours, and she was so emotionally wrought all she wanted to do was crawl back into her bed and pull the covers over her head.

But Kate had never run away from problems, and she wasn’t going to start now. She was going to have to deal with what she’d done to Danny Perkins. She was going to have to deal with her feelings for Frank.

It was ironic as hell that loving a man was so much more painful than shooting one.

She’d learned a long time ago that crying never helped. But she couldn’t seem to stop. Now that the gates were open, the tears poured out in a violent rush. Frank had hurt her in a way she’d never been hurt before. In a way that cut her to the core.