Dead Shall Speak (An FBI/Romance Thriller Book 10) (70 page)

~ Epilogue ~

The Following Week

It was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make in her life. Johanna Madden was dying inside.

Since she’d been back, avoiding Brody after hours was getting harder and harder. She’d tried to talk sense into him to get him to see her point.

She’d tried to warn him.

Nothing was working.

When he began putting the pressure on, Johanna knew what she had to do.

She went to her boss, hoping that he would have some sort of remedy.

Once inside Ethan’s office, she broke down in tears before the man could even say a single word.

Everything came gushing out.

It wasn’t like she meant to do it.

After all, she had a secret that no one knew. Even the FBI was in the dark. While it might cost Johanna her job, she knew it was time to come clean.

She had to give her boss credit. Not once did he get upset. In fact, Ethan had sat and listened, taking it all in.

While he didn't look shocked about the part where she confessed to sleeping with her partner, he was about the rest. Apparently, he didn't see that one coming.

The cat was out of the bag.

The ball was in her court.

When he calmly asked her what she wanted to do about it, Johanna knew there could only be one solution.

She set the whole thing in motion, trying to keep Broderick Seaton from getting hurt.

Yet, her heart ached.

When she left, she headed right home.

There was no way that she was going to be able to face Brody. Not today, not tomorrow, and probably not ever again. The truth was there.

She loved him.

Deep down, she wanted nothing more than to have what he was offering. The minute she fell into bed with him, he stole her heart. What was between them was powerful. So much so, that she was scared out of her mind.

He couldn’t love her.

He shouldn’t.

Someone had to save him.

The safest thing for everyone was if she remained completely alone.

Johanna Madden was broken.

All afternoon, after returning home, she’d locked herself behind her door and wept.

It was done.

Finally, it was off her chest.

All that was left was to tell her partner.

If Brody followed his normal pattern, he would show up, and soon. After not finding her at work, Broderick Seaton would make his way to her doorstep.

There was no doubt.

As she tried to focus, her heart was breaking. Her poor sweet Brody was never going to forgive her. By the time the betrayal settled in, he would hate her.

It was for the best.

She deserved it for not being honest with him from the start.

When her doorbell rang, she knew it was time. Heading to the door, she took a calming breath as she tried to get through what was coming.

As soon as she saw him, Johanna wanted to weep.

“Hey! You left work. Are you okay?” he asked, trying to get past her and into the house.

“Stop, Brody,” she said, blocking his entrance. If he got inside, they’d do something stupid—like fall back into bed.

God!

She wanted to be in his arms so much.

He heard the pain in her voice.

There was so much emotion there.

This couldn’t be good.

“Joey, honey, what’s wrong?” He reached out to touch her cheek. When she moved away from him, his heart dropped.

He knew this was coming.

He expected it, only he thought he’d have some time. Apparently, Brody had been wrong. She was about to destroy him. It was clearly written all over her face.

“I spoke to Director Blackhawk today.”

“Okay, and?”

“He knows about us. I told him everything.”

He stared at her. “What? Why?” Brody didn't understand. If she had spilled the beans, then that was the end of their partnership. The FBI wouldn’t let them continue as a couple.

“I’m not going to lie to my bosses. We’re breaking the rules.” It wasn’t the only lie she’d told to the FBI.

Brody tried to stay calm. “Okay, well, then we don’t have to pretend we’re not a couple anymore,” he stated. What he told her earlier was absolutely true. He’d toss their partnership in the FBI to have her heart.

Maybe there was a silver lining to this cloud after all.

“We’re not a couple, Brody. In fact, I’m leaving our division. Director Blackhawk is processing my paperwork. I’m transferring off the homicide team.”

He felt like he was sucker punched.

There was no way what she was saying was true. She loved her job. That was why he always offered to transfer. He’d do anything for Johanna, including going to vice.

“Joey, why?” He couldn’t believe it.

She was leaving him.

This felt so final.

She thought about how broken she was, and how he deserved more. If she hurt him, he’d hate her and move on.

It was for the best.

Broderick wanted a family, a life, and a future, and she was a gamble no man should have to take.

“You’re getting too attached. It’s not going to work.”

“I love you, Joey. I don’t know how else I can show you. Just tell me what to do. I’ll do it. Why can’t you just tell me how to make you happy? I’d do anything you ask. I’ll give you my whole world.”

Her heart ached.

There was no doubt he absolutely would do what he’d promised.

Broderick Seaton deserved a whole woman. Not one who wouldn’t ever be able to give him what he deserved.

“When are you leaving?”

“It takes a while for the transfer to happen. It could be weeks. It might be months. They have to find me a new partner. Until then, I think Director Blackhawk is desking us.”

He wanted to be sick.

His heart hurt.

Not only was he going to lose the only woman he’d ever loved, but they were staying behind a desk until he was given a new partner.

Their adventures were over.

It couldn’t be.

“Joey…”

She moved forward to give him a kiss. It was a light touch of her lips to his. Johanna knew after this, she’d never touch him again. She couldn’t.

It would weaken her, luring her back in.

Broderick Seaton was her kryptonite.

His love was more than she could fight.

As she broke away, she stared into his eyes. “I’m sorry, Brody. I wish I could explain. You just have to know I’m a losing gamble. You don’t know how much…”

She stopped.

“Is it me, Joey?” he asked, afraid to hear her answer.

Tears filled her eyes as she ran her fingertips down his cheek. “God, no. Brody, you’re perfect.” There was no doubt that he’d be able to move on…without her.

Johanna needed to get away from him. The sad look in his eyes was breaking her.

With that, she took two steps back and closed the door. Before she could shut him out, he shoved his boot in the way. “This isn't over, Joey. I won’t give up. I can’t! I’m going to find a way to make you see that this was meant to be. I believe it to my core. You’re my soul mate.”

She waited for him to move his foot.

“I’ll fight for you, Joey. I’ll fight to the death against whatever is chasing you.”

His words pierced her heart, making it bleed in pain. If he only knew that she felt the same.

They just couldn’t ever be.

This sacrifice was for him.

The door closed, locking her away from him.

Defeated, he rested his head on the door. “Joey. I love you. Please don’t leave me. You’re my heart.”

She heard his words.

In fact, she felt the same.

“I love you too, Brody. More than you’ll ever know. Please forgive me.”

With that, she headed back to her bedroom to cry herself to sleep. It was done.

Broderick Seaton was free.

And she was damned to hell.

                                  *    *    *

Sinclair Memorial Cemetery

Four Weeks Later

It was one of the hardest days of his life. Tony Magnus had gotten the okay to bury his mother. With Jaxon at his side, he’d managed to pick out a coffin to give her a decent burial. The days flew by, and it was like he was in a fog.

She ordered the flowers.

Jaxon handled the arrangements.

All Tony had to do was mourn.

He would be lost without her.

During the last week, he’d handed over control. She was driving this bus. Tony was just a passenger on the way to the end of the journey.

When his fiancée suggested that they tell his friends, letting them be there for him, he refused. He didn't want to force them to stand there and watch him mourn.

In actuality, he didn't know if he could.

In his heart, he had already let her go.

Tawny Rae Magnus was gone. He’d found her, he’d helped find her killer, and Tony had kept his promise. There was nothing left to do but put her to rest.

For that, he didn't need an audience. He would suck it up and do it alone.

He’d even suggested that Jaxon stay home, but of course, she wouldn’t listen. Why he thought she would was beyond him. Over the last few days, she hadn’t left his side. Not at home, not at work, and certainly not now.

Standing at the graveside, they watching the shiny casket poised over the mouth of the grave. It was a pretty rose metal color, and on top was a cheerful spray of flowers.

Again, Jaxon’s doing.

It would have touched his heart if he wasn’t so filled with ice. This was the end.

He was now alone.

If that wasn’t enough, he was forced to watch as she was put in the ground.

Again.

Here was his mother, and she was finally home.

“Tony?” she began, only to have him shake his head.

As each day approached to this moment, he’d become more and more despondent. The man she loved was slipping away.

“I’m fine, Jaxon.” He really didn't want to talk. In fact, he wanted to go home, drink a few beers, and forget.

He didn't want to think about how empty he felt or how his entire life was void of people to call his own.

Jaxon was it.

Tony hated this. Here was his last tie to the world. Had his brother not been insane, he might have had someone to connect to when he was hurting.

Instead, he had taken his life. Now he could see why Elizabeth had been so mad. She had been trying to spare him this hurt. Taking a life was no easy thing.

He’d been a fool to think it was.

“You can lower her,” he said, speaking to the grounds crew. As he watched, his heart ached. With each inch into the dirt, one more piece of his heart went cold.

Nothing could save him.

He doubted Jaxon could either.

“From ashes to ashes,” he said, watching her go into the hole. It was poignant.

He found her in the ground, and he was returning her there. A part of him wished he never discovered the truth. Living obliviously would have been so much easier.

“From dust to dust,” said the very familiar voice from behind him.

He jumped, turning around.

He couldn’t believe his eyes.

There stood his friends. Chris Leonard and his wife were there, along with Ethan, Callen, and Elizabeth.

“Did you think we wouldn’t come?” she asked, her hand on her very pregnant belly. “You’re a fool if you say yes,” Elizabeth warned.

“I thought you were on an assignment.”

Truth be told, he wanted her there, but they were still not on good ground. He’d done something stupid, and there hadn’t been time to say he was sorry.

She stared at the man. He was suffering.

In the month she had been gone, Elizabeth could see that he had been deteriorating. This was eating away at him.

“I came home to say goodbye, darlin’,” she stated. Her mission was over, and now it was time to take care of her makeshift family.

Chris spoke up next, “You should have told us. This isn't something you should do alone.”