Deadly Charade (17 page)

Chapter 27

W
hen Tony and Linda got back to the hotel, she was a completely different woman than the one he’d found in that nightclub. All of her spirit and passion and yes, recklessness, had dissipated. In her place was a woman who was withdrawn and troubled.

Was she regretting what they’d done? And if so, was it because Neil and Allie had caught them, because of what she’d done, because of who she’d done it with or all of the above?

Anger still throbbed through him at the memory of what Neil had said to them, a sneer of disdain on his face. “I hope you’ve had fun, Linda. Because what you have to face in the morning? It’s going to be anything but.”

Tony had immediately stepped forward to push the man away, to warn him that threatening Linda was not a good idea, especially in front of Tony, but Linda had put a hand on his chest, staying him. She’d looked from Neil to the woman he was with but that woman had refused to look at Linda.

Linda had opened her mouth to say something to Neil, but then she’d shut it. She’d reached down, taken Tony’s hand and said, “Let’s go, Tony.” That physical connection had hit him like a punch in the gut. It had told him she was choosing him over her career or her reputation—at least for now. And he’d wanted to pump his fist in the air in victory.

But after they’d left and started driving, the air had been supercharged with tension and any sense of satisfaction on his part had quickly cooled.

Now Linda kicked off her heels and sank into the corner of the hotel sofa. He perched a hip on the edge of the table, shoved his fingertips into the pockets of his jeans and kept his eyes on her face. Something was bothering her. Something more than embarrassment because they’d gotten caught having sex in a public place.

“Do you want to talk about it? Him? Neil?”

Her eyes jerked to his. “What? No. There’s nothing to talk about. He’s a colleague of mine. We were becoming friends. That’s all.”

“You’re not—you’re not upset because he was there with another woman?”

“No. At least not for the reason you think. Allie is a law-school student, but she’s an adult. Late twenties. I just—I just don’t think it’s a good idea to mix business and pleasure.” She grimaced. “But I guess that’s exactly what we did.”

“Because you consider trying to help me find the supplier part of your job?”

She just shrugged, and that vague gesture pissed him off.

Easy, he told himself. She’s embarrassed because of what happened and that’s completely understandable. Focus on something else. Like maybe the fact she’d put herself in danger when she’d agreed not to do so?

No, not a good topic to discuss right now, either. Not if he wanted her to open up to him. So...

“What did the guy you were dancing with say?” he managed to ask.

Linda shrugged and plucked at the lace on her skirt. “He said he knew someone who knew someone who could get Rapture. Someone that might surprise me. I suppose I’ll have to go back, since you dragged me off him before I could get more information—”

Her casually stated intention to go back to the club made him blink in disbelief. “No,” Tony snapped out. “I pulled you off him before he got suspicious—” And before he could rub his hands all over her damn body. “If you’d kept pushing, he would’ve known something was up. He would have assumed you were undercover.”

“I doubt we’ll ever know now. You dragging me off—”

“Will make him think you’re a challenge. His pride will make you irresistible to him. You’re not going back to that club.” Not without me.

Linda didn’t respond. She just curled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her shins and rested her chin in the cup made by her knees. She still wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“What the hell is going on here?” Tony asked. “A half hour ago you were clawing your way across my body, now you won’t even look at me.”

“It’s nothing,” Linda murmured.

“Don’t give me that, Linda,” Tony snapped out. “I know you a hell of a lot better than you think. There’s something you’re not telling me. Something you’re hiding, and I think it has less to do with this case than it has to do with you.”

She refused to speak and simply closed her eyes. The lack of strength in her spine, the way her shoulders seemed to cave in on themselves, the dead look in her eyes, all told Tony her mind was churning something over. Something deep. Something dark.

Or maybe she was just feeling regret. Regret because he’d come back into her life and ruined it.

Yeah, that just might be it.

He sighed. “Are you thinking about your father? About the judgeship?”

The nod of her head was almost infinitesimal, but the motion showed him everything he needed to know. He came off the table, crossed the short expanse of carpet and came to sit next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and although she remained stiff and unbending, he kept his arm there. Whatever was going on in her head, she needed him.

“Tell me,” he said simply.

She hesitated. She’d already shared her body with him at the club, but she was obviously reluctant to share the most important part of her. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes in disappointment. But then she spoke.

“I never told you about my father, about how he was still living, because I was ashamed. But it was more than that. Much more. I’m not just ashamed of him. I’m ashamed of myself.”

“But why?”

“My mom used to say how much I looked like him. How much I was like him. But she didn’t even know about what I did. How bad I used to be.”

His first thought was that she was exaggerating. Linda Delaney? Bad? It didn’t compute.

“You don’t believe me? My father was a bad man. He had bad genes. And I inherited those genes.”

Tony stirred next to her. She really believed what she was saying, but he didn’t. Sure, genetics could pass down the color of eyes, a cleft chin, even a propensity for alcoholism, but he did not believe genetics could make someone bad. Even so, Linda was on a roll, and he wasn’t about to stop her from continuing.

“The first time I got drunk was on my twelfth birthday. After all of my friends went home from my birthday party, I snuck out and crawled through the window of the neighbor boy’s house. I drank a quarter bottle of vodka before I threw up and passed out. After that I continued to sneak out at night. Got myself a fake ID and would go by myself to nightclubs. I’d dance and drink and smoke. My mom never knew, although Kathy suspected. It continued after my dad went to prison and we moved to Texas. I was a teen beauty queen, top of my class, presented this perfect exterior, but underneath I was boiling. It was like I couldn’t stay within my skin.”

“You were leading a double life,” Tony said. He could smell the scent of her hair, feel her soft skin under his thumb, the warmth of her body pressed against him.

“I fooled around, too, Tony,” she said. “I wasn’t doing it for the booze or the cigarettes or anything like that. I just really liked the way my body felt when someone touched me. Alive, aroused, like what lived beneath my skin was finally able to break free.” Linda covered her eyes. Her shoulders shook, and for a moment he wasn’t sure what was happening. Then he realized she was crying, barely able to hold back her sobs.

He wanted to cry himself. She was breaking his heart.

None of what she said mattered. It surprised him, but it also made her seem more real to him. He still respected her more than any woman he’d ever met.

“You don’t know me,” she finally said. “You think I’m so good. Everyone thinks that. But I’m not. The judicial position? I don’t deserve it. Just like I didn’t deserve to be happy with you. The way I got off on making love with you in public just proves it. I’m as bad as my father.” She sounded desperate to convince him and herself.

Tony refused to believe that. “He was an armed robber, Linda. That’s not the same thing as liking the thrill of public sex now and again. You’re beautiful. And smart. Funny. And kind. Yes, you’re human. You’ve made mistakes. But we all do. It doesn’t matter.” He shook her lightly. “No matter what you say. No matter what you do. You’re the best person I know.”

She didn’t seem convinced. “You should be thankful I kicked you out of my life, Tony. I blamed our breakup on you, but the truth is, I’m no catch. I’m a bad person, Tony. You don’t know about what I’ve done. Who I used to be, even before you and I were together. I judged you, but the truth is, I don’t deserve anything good. I don’t deserve you.”

With those words, Linda pulled herself to standing, and walked to the bathroom.

Tony sat there, stunned and frozen.

Was that really how she saw herself?

As someone undeserving of good things, things like love, simply because she’d made mistakes? This was not the cool, collected D.D.A. primed to become a judge. This was a woman with more baggage than he’d ever imagined—a woman wounded during childhood, who hadn’t healed from her wounds.

Damn her father for making her believe she wasn’t lovable. Damn himself for unintentionally making her feel the same.

He shoved to his feet and stormed over to the door. “Linda, come out. We need to finish talking.” He turned the handle and found it locked.

“Leave me alone. Please!” Her voice had risen, almost as if in panic.

“I can’t do that, Linda. I’m sorry. Now please, baby. Please let me in.”

He waited.

And waited.

And forced himself not to speak again. He was about to lose the battle when he heard a slight click as she unlocked the door.

Gently he pushed the door open to see her curled in a tight ball on the floor. She seemed to shrink into herself, her face twisting in grief. He bent down, stroked her hair back then curled his arms around her to lift her. She didn’t resist as he picked her up, carried her into the bedroom, sat down on the bed and cradled her in his lap.

Her body shook as she choked back her sobs, the stifled sounds somehow more tragic than if she’d let out her grief in a wail of agony. Each sound was a fist around his heart, killing him with the knowledge that he had brought her to this place where she clearly believed she wasn’t worthy of love.

“Oh, baby,” he whispered, “you’re breaking my heart.” He kissed her temple. Her cheek. Then her lips. Soft, closemouthed kisses meant to comfort more than arouse, but it didn’t matter what he intended. Linda reared up, clinging to him, opening her mouth and kissing him with obvious desperation.

Tony cupped her jaw and tried to take control of the kiss, but she wouldn’t let him. She straddled his lap, wrapping her arms and legs around him, rubbing herself against him as if she’d suddenly caught fire and he was the only thing that could extinguish the flames.

“Slow down, baby.”

“No,” she whimpered, tearing at his clothes and then her own. “Not slow. I want it like before. I want you to take me, just like you did in the club.”

Her words set off alarm bells inside him and he pulled back, frowning. “Linda, no—” His words dissolved into a low groan when she cupped him in her hand and began stroking him with the exact pressure he liked. If that wasn’t enough, she kissed a path down his throat and laved one of his nipples.

“Please, Tony. I need you. I need this. Please.”

“This isn’t what you need. We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk. I want you to show me. If you really think I’m good, if you ever loved me, Tony. Show me, now. Please.”

“You are
so
good. And I couldn’t love you more but—”

“Then prove it to me.”

Damn it. He didn’t know what to do. At least his brain didn’t. But his body did.

He stood with her legs still wrapped around his torso, his bad leg almost buckling under him, but he pushed forward.

She’d shoved his pants down his legs so that they tangled around his ankles, hobbling him. “Like this. Right here.” She reached down and grasped him, then rubbed him against herself.

Tony’s knees wobbled and he struggled to stay standing. He gripped her ass tightly, lifted her up and down, and groaned when she sank onto him several inches.

With her hands braced on his shoulders, she immediately rose up and then sank down on him again. One more time and he was all the way inside her, shaking and gritting his teeth to keep from screaming.

He lifted her, controlling her movements so that she took him in deep slow thrusts. “Look at me,” he whispered, but she shook her head and buried her face against his neck. “Linda, please—”

She was hiding from him. He didn’t want her to hide. He tried to pull her head back, but she tightened her hold on him at the same time her internal muscles clamped down.

“You don’t have to be ashamed of your darker side, Linda. It makes you human. That your body loves to touch and be touched this way is how nature made you. Passion is as much a part of you as your mind. Be proud of who you are. Because I’m so damn proud of you, baby. I always have been and that hasn’t changed.”

Linda looked at him. Finally, she really, truly looked at him, as if she saw into his soul. As if she finally was allowing herself to believe his words. His hands smoothed a path from her hips to her upper back and back down again. When she didn’t protest, his hands swept her sides, lingering on the soft swell of her breasts.

“Be proud, Linda,” he whispered.

A hint of a smile teased the corner of her lips. She let her eyes drift shut, then said, “Tony, I want you so much. Please. Please.”

He shook his head but she grabbed his face and kissed him hard. She ground herself against him, moaning and closing her eyes when she dragged against his abs. “Tony. Please let me come. Please.”

Her begging combined with the telltale trembling in her limbs undid him. With a guttural moan, he turned, stumbled into the bedroom and followed her down onto the bed, never breaking their connection. Grasping her thighs, he spread her wide and pounded into her. This time she didn’t hide. She stared at him, her eyes mirroring the ecstasy he felt in his own expression, until the pleasure became too much. With a scream, she came, her body shaking, her core gripping him, her arms embracing him.

He followed right after her, roaring her name.