Deadly Expectations (15 page)

“It’s okay Ray.
 
He twisted the knife as he eased it in.”
 
I felt anger in my face as I talked about it.

“You want to tell me about it?” he asked quietly.

I nodded.
 
“But I’m not reliving it twice … I’ll tell you and Paul at the same time.”

“Okay,” Ray said.
 
“He’s finishing up a watch … should be back soon.”

I closed my eyes and waited.
 
When Paul joined us he came over and kissed me and rested his hand on my stomach.
 
It seemed to make him happy.
 

“I thought I might lose you both.”
 
He said quietly and pulled the chair up so he could sit close.
 
“Sorry I had to leave for a bit.”

“‘Sokay,” I said. “I feel the black sleep coming.
 
I want to tell you what happened before it hits.”

“Okay Sugar,” he said, “then rest.”

“You said I was only gone an hour … I came up to bed and I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
 
I want to tell you about the dream first because I think that’s what made me disappear.
 
I dreamed about Catherine again.”

“Not the nightmare …” Paul said.

“This was better … it helps me understand the other one.
 
After you left that morning I could still see the body on the floor.
 
I could smell the blood.
 
His dead eyes followed me around the room as I threw my things together and ran out.
 
I thought my reaction scared you off.”

I felt tears in my eyes but I ignored them.

“I was sixteen and had been keeping house for my father and five brothers since I was eight.
 
My brothers had gone to fight the British at
Saratoga
in ‘77.
 
He felt that sixteen was old to marry off and when a man arrived with a letter of introduction from his mother … my father’s cousin … he moved quickly.
 
Giving me to the man to marry would keep his money in the family.
 
I was angry and afraid, but I knew there was nothing for me there.
 
I wasn’t worth anything to him unmarried.

“He took me to the church first thing in the morning to meet my husband.
 
I knew what was expected of me on my wedding night and I was scared but as soon as I saw him my fear went away.
 
I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
 
I could hardly wait for him to take me away.”

I closed my eyes.
 
I couldn’t look at Paul while trying to ignore the feelings I was reliving.

“We rode all day and it was nearly dark when we arrived at a small cabin.
 
He took me straight inside and ignored my need for him.
 
He could have had me but he beat me and raped me instead.
 
In the morning he said he would be gone for many months and his brothers would look after me bringing me food and firewood.
 
He said if I ran off he would find me and kill me.

“One of his brothers came every few days with food.
 
They just dropped it at the door and rode off.
 
One stayed.
 
He shared my bed that first night and every night when he came to my cabin.
 
I loved him.
 
It was like I had always loved him.”

I watched Paul.
 
There was no expression on his face as he listened.

“Then he stopped coming and I found myself sick with his child.
 
I’d seen enough children come to know that there was no way I could pass off my lover’s newborn son as my absent husband’s a year after my marriage.
 
I could only hope he would return and take me away.
 
I waited months and he did return; the same night my husband did.”

 
“After my husband killed him, he cut our son from my stomach before he let me die.”

Paul’s eyes were tight and he looked away.
 
I paused for a moment to pull myself together.
 
My dreams of Catherine were intense and so hard to separate myself from.

“Then two nights ago I found myself at Alina’s door.
 
I didn’t know how I got there or what time it was … I took a chance and knocked.
 
She had a man there so I didn’t stay long.

“It was so good to see her.
 
I know every little naughty thing she’s going to say before it even comes out of her mouth.
 
Anyway, she had the next day off so I promised to call so we could get together.
 
She said my accident was six weeks earlier … I was scared I was stuck there.
 
I had no idea how to get back.
 
I’d been there three weeks already.

“Her boyfriend Damian walked me down to the taxi.”

Ray’s eyes opened wider for a quick moment but Paul remained impassive.
 
My voice fell to a whisper and I suddenly felt like the air was going out of the room.
 
I began to doubt my ability to go through it again even if it was just with words.

“He took me down the block, I could only follow.
 
I wanted to go where he said.
 
Suddenly he was dragging me down the alley then up against the wall by my neck.
 
My feet were off the ground and I had to hold on to his arm just to breathe.

“He said that he hadn’t planned on coming after me himself this time since he had Alina, but it was just too tempting to have me there.
 
Then he pressed himself into me and started to squeeze my throat.
 
I could feel … it was turning him on … he liked it.”

I closed my eyes and turned my head away.
 
I could feel my lips curling with disgust.

“I was getting weak and things were going dark … I was losing.
 
Then he held up a knife.
 
He said remember this Catherine?
 
He said I was a filthy bitch.
 
He said that I belonged to him.
 
I could feel my skin pop and tear but little else.
 
My last thought was of you Paul, of coming home to you.

“Then his weight was gone, the wall was gone.
 
I was alone.
 
When I opened my eyes I was in here.”

I turned to look at Paul.
 
He wasn’t looking at anything, but he was angry.
 
Very angry.

“Damian has my sister.
 
Help me put the pieces together.”

He didn’t say anything for a few minutes as his colour went back to normal.
 
Ray was still white.

“Catherine is just a dream Anna … your sister’s boyfriend is a nut.”
 
He said slowly like he was trying to believe it himself.

“Really,” I said.
 
Then I repeated part of the conversation he had with Ray when they thought I was asleep.
 
“Damian knows she’s here now.
 
The pregnancy is the only thing that grants her our protection.
 
What’s your job Paul, who’s Ray’s sister?”

“Please think about it,” I whispered as the black sleep took me.

Chapter 15

The only work I had left to do on the bike was reconnecting clutch line and adding fluids so I turned on the lights and setup the heater.
 
I opened the big doors to get the bike out just as Paul was walking up.

“What are you working on up here?” he asked.

“Just going to see if the four-fifty will start … I think I have all its parts in order.”

I pulled the choke on the bike and put my leg over.
 
Then I started stomping the kick start.
 
It started the second try so I held the throttle open to keep it going.

“Nice.”

“Are you worried I can’t protect you here?”
 
Paul asked.
 
“Your gun is gone from the armoury.”

“No,” I gave him a small smile.
 
“It’s not here I’m worried about.”

“You think you’re going to disappear again?”

“I hope I’m not.”
 
I eased off the throttle and left it running on the choke.
 
Then I undid the knot in my hair and grabbed my helmet from the wall.

“It’ll be all over if someone takes it from you,” Paul said.

I countered.
 
“It’ll definitely be all over if I don’t have it at all.
 
I can’t count on disappearing home.”

“You really think of this place as home?”
 
He asked.

I slipped my cold hands inside his coat.
 
“Yes … where ever you are, we are home.”

He thought about it.
 
I put the choke the rest of the way in and the bike kept running just fine.

“I’m wearing the only pair of pants I can do up.”
 
I said.
 
“And I’m not sleeping when I’m by myself.
 
Wake me up when you go on watch.”

“I’m going to run it through its gears,” I said as I passed him my gun.
 

Then I kissed him, put on the helmet and rode out of the shop.
 
It made it to third just fine as I passed the house and I kept the speed down as I approached the warehouses at the other end of the road.
 
Tires were better than I thought.

Heading back up
I
hit the throttle hard and pushed it through all the gears.
 
I bent my knees and elbows as I approached the bump in the road and shot up a few feet and flew nearly fifteen.
 
Paul watched with amusement as I ran it around in donuts spitting snow out everywhere before I took off down the hill again.
 
After the jump I opened it up again and tried to guess my speed.
 
I figured I was able to do better than the bare minimum to jump.
 
If I had to get out of here, I could.

“I would say it’s cured.”
 
I said.
 
“You want to take it for a spin?
 
That bump just down the road is awesome.”

“Maybe another time,” he said and turned up the volume on his two-way radio.

“…
me
Paul?
 
Get her off that thing.
 
Do you have any idea how …”
Then he turned it down
.

“Yikes,” I said.
 
“I think the fresh air has made me hungry anyway.”

“I’m assigning someone to you when you’re out.”

“Like a babysitter?”
 
I wasn’t too pleased and didn’t make any effort to hide it from my voice.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t feel that way,” he said.

“That’s a lot of trouble for you to go to for some bad dreams and a nut in
Toronto
.”

He stopped.

“When you got back this last time I thought I might lose you both.”
 
He put his hand up under my coat to feel my stomach.
 
“Please indulge me … she’s worth it and I’m not taking any chances.”

“Okay,” I agreed.
 
“I can’t promise I won’t be any trouble.”