Deadly Expectations (17 page)

“I don’t like feeling like this,” I told him.
 
“Can we go now?”

Paul helped me up into the truck in front.
 
I hadn’t paid much attention to them when we first left the house but now I noticed that they couldn’t be much more conspicuous.
 
Two almost identical black heavy duty four door trucks.
 
Long boxes in the back, canopies with dark glass.
 
I didn’t get a look at the front or back and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had sequentially numbered government plates.

We drove past the cabins to what I guessed was the gate.
 
This was the furthest I’d been out of my small new world in weeks.
 
Ross appeared out of nowhere and into the truck’s lights.
 
Paul stopped and rolled down the window to talk to him.

“We might have two groups coming from the south-east,” he told him.
 
“Smaller one in the lead.
 
No firm time yet.
 
I’ll let you know right away if plans become any firmer.”

Ross nodded.
 
“Good luck Paul.”

“Good luck Ross,” Paul replied.

They looked at each other for a moment, then Paul rolled up his window and we drove on.
 
I didn’t ask what was going on.
 
First I wanted to give him an opportunity to explain himself.
 
My half crazy ramblings were an odd scenario to base a drill on.

“You’re not saying anything,” he said eventually.

“I guess not.
 
I was waiting for you.”

He sighed.
 
“There are two reasons I wanted to get you out of the compound for a few days.
 
You’re not yourself since the attack.
 
I hope a change of scenery might distract you for a while.”

He seemed to be looking for the right words for his other reason.
 
“There are so many things about you that I can’t explain.
 
Things I can’t question because I’ve seen them with my own eyes so when you say that someone’s coming I have to consider that you’re right in which case I don’t want you anywhere near the compound.”

He was quiet for a minute.
 
“Anna, I need to ask you something.”

“You want to know if he’s with them,” I told him.
 
I’d considered that.

“Yes.
 
Ray said I shouldn’t ask.
 
He said if you’re imagining things it might encourage any reckless behaviour.
 
I know I can look after you either way … but if it’s real then I can look after you better.”

I held my fist up with my thumb out and moved it like I was rubbing it on something tiny in front of me.

“They look like little smudges off in the distance.
 
When I first felt them yesterday it was like I was rushing toward them.
 
I couldn’t even turn away.
 
I was going straight for them.
 
They were moving fast too … toward me.”

I still held my hand up, picturing them in my mind.
 
“Today it was like the memory was teasing me.
 
I thought … hoped I’d been imagining them and they were gone.
 
It startled me when I realized that they were closer.

“But if you want to know if Damian is with them I have to say no.”

“Are you sure?”
 
Paul asked.

“No,” I said. “In three weeks he’ll say he wasn’t going to come after me himself.
 
So I can guess he’s not one of them now.
 
Then again I don’t know if I can believe anything he told me.
 
How well do you know him?”

“I first knew him by reputation,” Paul started.
 
“He ran a team like mine.
 
He was of course, very good.
 
But there were rumours about him.
 
That he took far too many risks.
 
Maybe he was a little unstable.

“We shipped out with his team on a big assignment.
 
It was Damian’s show but I had my orders.
 
We suspected he had his own agenda.
 
I had to keep an eye on him.
 
He turned his back on us.
 
Some civilians died.
 
And some of my men before we stopped him.
 
He disappeared.
 
Killed a couple of my men once we were back stateside.
 
We were making plans to move everyone north to where we are now but it was still a ways off.

“Are you sure you want to hear this?” Paul asked me.

I looked at him and nodded.

“A few years ago I had a little place near
San Diego
.
 
I didn’t live there alone.
 
Ray’s sister lived with me.
 
She didn’t like the travel much or the women I was around when I was away but it was good otherwise.

“I’d just got in from a couple of magazine jobs out east when Ray called.
 
He looked out for her when I was away.
 
She had no idea.
 
He said there were a couple of men around, watching the place.
 
He thought they were there for me.
 
I met him nearby and we caught up with them.
 
We dumped them in the hills.
 
When we went through their car we found they were there for her.
 
Not me.

“By killing her he could hurt both Ray and me.
 
I had to let her go … Ray agreed.
 
He knew how much it would hurt her, but he could encourage her to get out of the country to start over.
 
She had a lot of options … job offers she’d been turning down to stay with me.

“I sat in my car the rest of the night drinking.
 
The sun was well up when I staggered in.
 
I was all bruised up from the fight.
 
Their blood was on my clothes.
 
I don’t remember much of what I said to her, but Ray said I was pretty thorough.
 
The gist of it was I had picked someone up at the bar and gone home with her.
 
Got caught and got in a fight with her husband.
 
I said I struck out with the women on my road trip and needed a little something to get me through being stuck with her.
 
I passed out on the couch and she was gone when I woke up.

“I loved her, Anna.
 
I’d bought a ring and had made plans to give it to her but she never would have come north with me.”

He was quiet for a while.
 
I could sense that he wasn’t done so I watched the road disappear under the truck for a while.

“I thought I could walk away from you too,” Paul said.
 
“I almost had.
 
We’d only been together a few times.
 
It should have been easier.
 
When you turned up I wanted to send you on your way as fast as I could … until I found out that you’re pregnant.
 
You were tied to me then … and there was no way Damian would let you go.
 
I couldn’t simply break it off to make him lose interest in you.

“The first few days you were here I realized how much I had shut off inside.
 
You were already filling holes in my life I forgot I had.”
 
He looked over at me.
 
“Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

“What was her name?” I asked quietly.
 
If I was going to be jealous anyways I might as well get the full experience out of the way.

“Catherine.”

I felt numb.

“Damian has changed.
 
Like I said, there’s a lot about you that I don’t understand … I don’t know if your dreams about the other Catherine are a coincidence or something else.
 
Maybe he thinks you’re Ray’s sister in a way.”

“Please,” he asked.
 
“Tell me the rest of what you’re thinking.
 
I feel like I’ve left myself wide open to being misunderstood.
 
Please just start.”

“That’s the man who has my sister.”

“Yes,” Paul said.

Everything else needed to be put away; all I could picture was Alina in her little blue dress.
 
Dangling by her throat while her stocking feet thrashed uselessly inches above her fallen shoes.

I could get to
Toronto
but then what?
 
There was nothing I could tell her that would convince her of what I already knew.
 
If she didn’t love Damian now she would soon.
 
I was outmatched even if I saw him coming.
 
It was hopeless.
 
Maybe I would just knock her over the head and put her in the trunk of a car.
 
Or lure her down here with some crazy story … tell her I was getting married and I wanted her to be here.
 
I sighed.
 
She would send my father here to knock me on the head and drive me home in the trunk of his car.

“Anna?” Paul asked.
 
“What are you thinking?”

“I can go get her,” I told him.

He put a hand on his face and rubbed his eyes like he was getting a headache.

“My answer to that is no.
 
Anyone ever tell you that you’re completely reckless?”

“Nobody ever had to,” I told him.
 
“I’d haul her away from there a hundred times even if she hated me forever after only the first.”

Paul laughed softly into his palm.
 
He was still holding it over his face.
 
Then he held his arm out too me.

“Come here,” he said.

I moved over to the middle seat.
 
He put his arm around me and pulled me in to kiss him.

“So what’s your plan then?” he said kindly.

“Loan me a truck.”

“Imagine that she feels as much for him as you feel for me.
 
Do you think she could ever talk you into leaving me?”

“No,” I told him.
 
Defeat shading my voice.
 
“Not in a million years.”

“We have a couple of weeks at least.
 
Give me some time to come up with something.
 
Okay?”
 
He asked.

“Yeah,” I said weakly.
 
I hoped it was too dark for him to notice the tears on my cheeks.

“In the meantime, don’t do anything rash.
 
It just makes it harder to look after you,” he said.

“I don’t like being sidelined Paul,” I said.
 
“Even when you’re right that there’s more going on than I can look after myself.”

“I know,” he said.
 
“But I need you to look after our baby.
 
And let me look after everything else.
 
It’s what I do best.”

Chapter 17

We stopped in
Redding
to fill the trucks.
 
Denis came with me around to the restroom in the rear while he took a smoke break.
 
They were still pumping gas when we got back.
 
I hated to think how much that cost.
 
I could fill up my bike for
under
twenty and would be halfway to
Reno
by the time they were done.
 
Once we were back on the road I curled up on the front seat with my head on Paul’s thigh.
 
He grabbed a blanket from the back seat for me.