Deadly Expectations (9 page)

“Anna, it’s below freezing.”

I still couldn’t see anyone and my skin hurt from the heat.

“Who’s out there?”
 
I yelled at the fire.

“What?
 
It’s Paul.
 
Get inside before you freeze.”

I looked at my crumpled house.
 
Not likely, I thought.

“Paul?
 
I don’t see you.
 
Keep talking.”

“What do you mean sleepwalking?”
 
Paul asked but not to me.
 
I hadn’t said anything about sleepwalking.
 
I waited for him to say more as I strained my eyes to see him.
 

“Well what do you want me to do?” he said

I started to panic.
 
His voice came from under my neighbour’s apple tree.

I yelled to him. “Paul, get behind me!
 
The tree is going to come down any minute!”

“Anna
wake
up,” he called back.

“Get behind me please, you’ll be crushed.”
 
I could hear the alarm rising in my voice as I reached to him and felt the heat cut through to my finger bones.
 
“Please, please, I’ll burn if I get any closer.
 
Hurry, there’s no time.”

“Okay, I’m coming,” he said.

“Run Paul,” I yelled into the inferno.

I heard his foot steps then his voice behind me.
 
“Now what?”

Having Paul there I lost track of the rhythm of my dream.
 
The tiny pops and gusts that marked the passage of time.
 
Suddenly the branch came down with an enormous crack.
 
I wasn’t expecting it so I pulled myself around my baby as much as I could.
 
A hand was on my back to steady me.

“Jesus!
 
You’re hot!”
 
Paul exclaimed.
 
His hand quickly disappeared.
 
It was time for me to leave him behind.

“I’m sorry Paul, I have to go now.
 
You can’t follow me.”

“What do you mean Anna, where do you have to go?”
 
He demanded.

I turned as far as I could to his voice.
 
“I have to go count the dead Paul.
 
I’ll be back soon …”

He gasped.
 
“Oh my God Anna, your eyes …”

“Soon,” I said, and started down the alley.

As I woke I became aware of the cold.
 
After the fire it felt so very good.
 
I sat with my eyes closed for a few minutes, letting my mind go blank and my body cool.
 
Eventually I became aware of men’s voices so I opened my eyes.

In the porch light I could make out Paul’s front stairs and the snow covered road.
 
There was a strange backpack in my lap.
 
I remembered closing my eyes then the dream.
 
I had no idea how I’d gotten out here.
 
The cold was becoming more than a relief so I stood up with my bag and went in.

I sat on the stairs to get my boots off then I undid my coat.
 
Apparently I’d done more than go outside for a nice cool sit down.
 
I didn’t recognize anything I was wearing.
 
After putting the pack over my shoulder I headed down to the opening into the common room across from the kitchen and poked my head around the corner.

Paul’s back was to me.
 
He was talking on the phone to someone and sounded upset.
 
Denis was near him checking a handgun and a couple of Paul’s other men were looking at something on the desk.
 
I stepped in the doorway and Denis looked up.

“Anna?” he said.

Paul fell silent and turned.

“Hi?”
 
I replied.

“No, come back now,” Paul said into the phone.
 
“We found her.”

He hung it up.
 
The look on his face said it all.
 
Something bad had happened.

“Anna, where have you been?” he demanded.

I gestured to the front door with my thumb.
 
“Out on the porch for the last few minutes,” I said slowly beginning to wonder what sort of trouble I was in.
 
They were all armed.
 
“Why?”

“We’ve been looking for you for hours.”

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.

“I don’t know what happened, Paul.”
 
I whispered then I bolted for his room.

Paul caught up to me quickly and stopped me half way up the stairs.
 
He held me until I started to relax.
 
I didn’t realize how wound up I was.

“What’s up with the guns?”
 
I whispered.

“I couldn’t be sure you wouldn’t come back with company,” he explained.
 
“I’m sorry; you wouldn’t have been expecting that.
 
Come on, let’s get you upstairs.
 
Ray’s going to want to give you a once over.”

The stairs were much easier than I thought they would be and I had no trouble managing the bag.
 
I wondered how much time my ribs really had to heal.

I went through the coat and gave the receipts to Paul.
 
“When are these for?” I asked him and started in on the bag.
 
It was packed to bursting with clothes.
 
“I’ve been shopping … I hate shopping.”

“Seven days worth … all stores in
Toronto
.
 
There’s a huge hotel bill,” he said. “Did you get me anything?”

“Doesn’t look like it,” I said.
 
“Can I have a drawer?
 
I don’t want to live out of this bag.”

“Yes,” he said.
 
“You can have a drawer.”

“Thanks.”

Paul was quiet for a minute as I pulled the clothes out one piece at a time and started sorting them.

“We were eating lunch,” he said.
 
“We heard the front door open and close then out the window we see you on the road, no boots or coat.
 
You were looking up at the sky and then watching the house.

“When I got out there I told you to come in, you were already starting to shiver.
 
You wanted to know who I was.
 
Ray said you were sleepwalking.
 
You started on about a tree falling on me and insisted I come and stand behind you, so I did.
 
All of a sudden you jumped a foot.
 
You almost fell over so I put my hand on your back.
 
You were so hot.
 
Then you turned to me and said you had to go and count the dead.

“Anna, I saw the reflection of flames in your eyes … it scared the hell out of me.
 
You said you would be back soon.
 
You took a couple of steps and froze then you just faded away.
 
I’ve been worried sick.
 
We searched for hours then you walk back in the front door like you were out there the whole time.”

I sat down beside him.
 

“That’s about what I remember, except this time you were in my dream … and the hours I spend in the fire.”

“What do you mean this time?” he asked.
 
“This happened before?”

“I’ve had the dream before.
 
Over and over.
 
A plane crashes near my house.
 
For some reason it’s my job to walk through the wreckage and account for all the dead.
 
I have to make sure they’re all there … it’s really horrible.

“She was with me this time.” I finished.

“Who?”
Paul asked.

I put my hand on her.

“You know it’s a girl?”
 
He was surprised.

“Yes, this time I was really huge.
 
She knew it would be okay.
 
All she wanted was to get back to you.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t know Paul,” I shrugged.
 
“Just a dream.”

I let him think a bit. He and Ray believed she was a boy but now I suggested a girl.
 
I had the certainty of what I learned about her during my dream to keep doubt away and apparently a week to accept it.

“Can you help me get this shirt off?”
 
I asked.
 
“There’s something stuck to my arm.”

“I can’t pass up a request like that,” Paul said.
 
“That must have taken a while.”

Under a layer of plastic covering my arm was a full sleeve of tattooed angry red and orange flames.

I changed into a light green button up shirt and clean jeans and got back to unpacking the rest of the bag.
 
Other than a lot of high end skin care products and a box of cigars at the bottom there wasn’t much else.
 
I pulled the bag out and dumped it on the bed.

“How much money did you spend?” he asked.
 
“That stuff is pretty much unaffordable.”

I picked the receipt out of the pile of bottles and jars and gave it to him.

“No idea.”
 
I piled my clothes on the chair.
 
I didn’t want to rearrange Paul’s things; I felt like I had imposed enough.

“I can put these away tomorrow,” I hinted.
 
He had two dressers so hopefully one had space.

He pointed to the one by the bathroom.
 
“The bottom of that one is empty if you want.
 
All your clothes should fit in there.”

Paul watched me move in without comment.

“Are you sure about this?”
 
I asked him.
 
“It feels sort of semi-permanent.”

“Yes I’m sure.
 
I won’t regret giving it our best.
 
I know my place probably isn’t what you were expecting, but hopefully you’ll stay for a while.”

“Definitely.
 
Besides,” I joked, “I’m snowed in until spring and by then I’ll be too big to fit behind the tank.”

“I guess I get to keep you then,” he agreed.
 
I took the cosmetics into the bathroom and shoved the things I would use most onto the shelves behind the mirror and knelt to find room amongst the toilet paper and cleaners under the sink for the rest of it.
 
When I stood I saw Paul in the mirror staring at me from behind, his elbow on the wall and his hand behind his head.
 
His eyes dropped taking me in as I watched him.

He was so observant and withdrawn at the same time.
 
Perhaps some familiar soldier mode he needed occasionally; purely defensive for both his body and his spirit.
 
When I turned and approached he didn’t move.
 
His eyes said exactly what he wanted.

Our fight hours earlier felt distant to me.
 
Even though I didn’t remember the week emotionally I was aware of its passage.
 
For him it would still be fresh as would Ray’s hands off for two more
days
edict.