Deadly Mates (Deadly Trilogy) (13 page)

The urge to pull her to me, to give her some comfort, was physical, winding through my body, my soul, like a living
organism, but I couldn’t do it.  Jeff was watching out the window, and after our little show, well, hugging her wasn’t really an option.  So I put the car in gear and backed out of the driveway.

“If you’re ever that cold to me again, you’ll be sorry.”  Her voice was hoar
se and raw.

My entire body stiffened and a sharp ache settled in my chest.  I sighed, shifted the car in
to gear, and eased my foot off the clutch.  “It wasn’t real, sweetheart.”  I gave her a quick sideways glance, but she was still gazing out the window.

“It felt pretty real to me,” she whispered.

I didn’t say anything as I gave the car more gas, let up, pressed on the clutch, and shifted again.  The truth?  The coldness felt pretty damn real to me, too.

~ JADE ~

My brows were drawn in severe slashes over my eyes.  I tried wiggling them.  Anything to ease the tension from my face, my neck, my shoulders, but each time I began to relax, I would take another breath and catch a scent that shouldn’t have been coming from Aidan.

I
had missed it earlier.  I wasn’t really sure how.  Maybe it was the stress, or maybe it had been his scent overpowering the light spring fragrance that now seemed to cling to him.  But right now, enclosed in this car, I couldn’t smell anything else and it was really starting to make me feel sick.

I figured I couldn’t blame him for carrying her scent on his clothes.  As far as he had been
concerned, I had moved on.  I’d been with Jared.  And the fact was, we were never actually together — really together.  Sure, we’d had a strong attraction to each other, but the second that we’d been able to act on it, be more than just two people who liked each other, I had walked away.  So yeah, I couldn’t blame him, but that didn’t change the fact that it hurt.  Bad.

The five minute drive back to Aidan’s house felt like five
hours.  For the last few days I had craved time alone with him.  But now that we were actually alone, my nerves replaced the cravings, jumping around like a field of grasshoppers in my belly.  I wondered if my nerves were because of the scent that stuck to him or if it was because, for the first time since I’d joined the pack, I knew exactly what I wanted and with that darn smell, I didn’t know if I could still have it.  I figured I could thank my dad for that.  His bluntness made something click inside me, gave me clarity, and forced my irrational brain to accept what I had known all along.  Aidan was mine.  The pack was mine.  And there was no way I would let someone else have either.  Not without a fight.

Most likely, though, the nerves were just something else for my stubborn brain to think about.  I guessed they were better than dwelling on my father kicking me out, which pretty much sucked.

When Aidan pulled into the driveway I still hadn’t looked at him.  I would have killed to know what was going through that gorgeous head of his, but yeah, I was a chicken, way too scared to ask.  So I got out, grabbed my two bags, a backpack, and a duffle bag out of the trunk.  They weren’t heavy, only about half full.  I hadn’t really wanted to stick around long enough to really pack.  I made a mental note to ask Marcy and Dominic if they would go back and pack up the rest of my things, because there was no way I was going back there with my father home.

Aidan waited by the car door.  He looked exhausted, maybe a little defeated, and the ache in my chest grew and pulsed.  He met my eyes, smiled a little, and held out his hand to me.  I was at his side in a breath, lacing my fingers through his.  The scent may
have been there, clinging to him like glue, but he was making it clear what he really wanted.  So he slipped up a little.  No big deal, right?  My inner-wolf was so calm, elated, content, just being near him.  Clearly she wasn’t freaking out about it, so I probably shouldn’t be either, definitely, maybe.  He squeezed a little, his silent reassurance, and together, we headed in.

I let my bags drop to the floor just inside the door.  I sighed and then sighed again.  The scent was still only on him.  I hadn’t realized how freaked out I’d been to walk in and smell it in his house, too, but it wasn’t any stronger than it had been in the car.  At least he hadn’t brought her back to his house.  Another sigh hissed from me in a long stream of air.

Aidan chuckled, a bit nervously.  “Don’t know whether to take all your sighs as a good thing or not.”  He squeezed my hand again.  “Want to talk about it?”

Yes!
  That’s exactly what I wanted to do.  Talk.  I’d known him for just under a month and we had never really talked.  I wanted to know him — really know him.  And I wanted him to know me, especially since it looked like I would be staying with him at least for a bit.  But instead of answering I only shook my head.  Sometimes opening up and letting someone in was the hardest thing to do.

I tugged on his hand, pulling him from the doorway and over to the couch.  I plopped down none too gracefully, dragging him with me.  I sat there for a moment, sinking into the leather, staring at nothing.  I could feel him watching me, waiting, but for the first time ever, I had absolutely nothing to say to him.  No snippy remarks, nothing.

Another long-winded sigh pushed out of my lips.

I shook off his hand.  I needed to get comfortable.  I needed to get closer to him and I wanted to feel his arms around me.  I scanned the length of the couch and smiled a little, before shifting toward him.  Then I placed a palm on his right hip and another o
n his right knee and I pushed.

Aidan chuckled, and he was looking at me as if I
had lost my mind, but really, I was pretty sure I actually might have.  Maybe I was just tired of being pissed off at him.  Who knows, but right then, I felt beyond relaxed.  I grinned up at him, what I hoped was verging on a flirty grin, and pushed again.  “Move.  I need more room.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, chuckling again and shaking his head.  He went to get up, most likely to move over to his chair and give me space, but as he started to stand my hands slid to the top o
f his thigh, pushing him back down.

“No,” I said, glaring up at him.  “Just shove over.”

He chuckled again, still shaking his head, but he shoved over.  I nudged him again and he kept sliding until I had him pressed tightly against the arm of the couch.  Satisfied, I flipped around, my back to him, and swung my legs up.  I’d thought about sitting like this with him more times than I could remember.  I flopped back, my head landing square on his lap, and then I grabbed hold of his arm and brought it around me, pulling it tight, just below my breasts.

He stiffened suddenly, his thigh turning into a rock under my head.  His scent changed, thickened, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. 
Guilt,
a voice within my mind chimed in, and my inner-wolf growled within me.

I closed my eyes, trying not to let it get to me.  I tilted my head into him, my nose pressing against a clean patch of his shirt over his stomach
, and I inhaled a long breath, letting it out in a strangled growl.  I almost told him to go change.  I wanted to get rid of that smell so bad it was making my teeth itch.  And the dried blood along the hem wasn’t helping either.  For a split second, my entire body went ridged against him — or was that his body going ridged against me?  I didn’t know for sure.  Whichever it was it didn’t last, and he, or maybe it was me, relaxed again.

He ran a finger along my cheek, letting it drift down my neck.  The sour scent thickened, masking everything else for a moment.  “Sweetheart, I can’t stay here.”  His voice sounded strained.  “I have work to do.  The pack is unsettled and I really need to meet with the team about your dad.”  I snuggled deeper into his lap.  I had no intentions of letting him up, not anytime soon at least.  Not until we settled a few things.  I was about to tell him as much when he huffed and said, “And there’s something I really need to tell you before whatever is happening between us goes any further.”

Crap!
  Was he actually going to tell me?  My breath hitched.  I didn’t think I wanted to hear it.  “I’m pretty sure I already know what you have to tell me,” I said, my voice tight and my body stiffening again.  I took a breath, let it out, and took another.  “Work can wait, so can the pack. This, right here, is more important.”

He laughed, but there was no humor in the sound.  “You wouldn’t say that if you actually knew what I need to say.”

I pulled his arm a bit tighter around me, and swallowed a few times.  I was pretty sure I knew exactly what he was going to say.  My nerves jumped again.  I opened my mouth, closed it, swallowed, pried my eyes open, and decided to just get it over with.  “I can smell Erika on your shirt and jeans, Aidan.  Guess you didn’t think that one out when you threw on the same clothes from yesterday did you?”

“Guess not.”  He frowned, searching my face.  “And you’re okay with that?”

“No, not really,” I said, deflating like a popped balloon.  I’d really hoped there had been another reason for the scent.  “But I’ll get over it, just like you’re going to get over Jared sleeping in my room for the last few days.”

For a long moment Aidan just stared down at me before he finally said, “Huh.”  He ran his free hand through his hair, blinked, fixed his blank stare back on me, but said nothing more.

“Really?” I asked sharply, elbowing him lightly in the ribs.  He winced.  “All you’re going to say is ‘huh.’”

His jaw twitched, so did his forearm that was lying across my chest.  “Um, yeah, right now, huh is pretty much all I’ve got.”  The blankness began to recede from his brown eyes, and in its place something that looked a heck of a lot like panic settled in.  “Wait, why aren’t you pissed at me?  You’re always pissed at me.  This can’t be a good thing.”

I laughed, a cold, empty sound.  “I can assure you, alpha, that on the inside, I’m a blazing ball of fire.  Of course I’m pissed but ...” I paused and my inner-wolf brushed against my chest, urging me on.  She knew what I wanted — what I needed — and she wasn’t about to let me chicken out.  I sighed.  “Well, I figure you lied to me, I lied to you.  I was with Jared and you moved on.  It’d be pretty horrible of me to hate you for the same things I was doing.”  Something dawned on me then, something I probably should have clued into yesterday.  Erika never studied.  “It’s really too bad, though,” I continued.  “Guess I need to find a new beta.”

A swarm of emotion passed across his face so quickly that I really couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I was seeing there.  His scent told me he was guilty, angry, hurt.  He growled, a deep rumbling sound, and his eyes filled with
specks of gold.  “Screwing around with the alpha isn’t grounds for stripping her of her title, sweetheart.”  The roughness from the growl tinged his voice, dropping it lower, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me.

“No, but blatantly lying to me when I needed her is,” I said with a matter-of-fact air.  He looked a bit confused and I furrowed my brow.  “Tell me you weren’t with her when she sent the text message last night.”  His lips parted and his scent spiked with more of that throat closing, tongue tingling sourness
, and I huffed.  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”  I closed my eyes again, pressing my cheek against the hard contours of his stomach and muttered, “I guess I should be glad you weren’t stupid enough to go all the way.”

Aidan petted my hair, just a light touch.  “It went pretty far last night, Jade.”  His voice was low, just barely a whisper.  “You should know that before you make any decisions here.”

Okay, I really didn’t need to hear that, but I had to admit it, I was impressed.  I was so used to Aidan holding everything back, hiding things that would hurt me or piss me off.  It was kind of nice hearing the truth directly from him.  It gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, things could change.  Warmth spread through my chest, swelling and pulsing.  “I can’t condemn you for doing the same thing you thought I was doing.”

“Are you really saying you want to just start over?”  He looked so serious and incredibly confused, as if he were just waiting for me to lose my cool and storm out, but I was done with that.  If my dad had shown me anything today, it was that I needed to suck it up, get over everything, and, in one way or another, move on.  The thing was I didn’t think I could handle moving on to a life that didn’t have Aidan in it.  It was a truth I’d been trying to ignore, one that I hadn’t wanted to accept.  And it was a truth I wasn’t going to brush off any longer.

Right then, though, I needed to fix all the seriousness that was marring his expression, so I smiled wickedly.  “Yep, that’s what I’m saying, but I do want to know something.  How far exactly can you go without the whole scent merging thing happening?”

His jaw dropped a little and he coughed, a choked sound, and yep, he actually blushed, a bright fire truck red.  His eyes widened, and he gave me a look that begged me not to force him to give me all the details.

I smirked.  It was totally evil, but I was loving his awkwardness.  “Seriously, I need to know in case I get the urge.  Landon was looking pretty yummy today, oh, and Beck.  Yep, Beck has potential.”  I laughed and winked.

His eyes flared with a dangerous warning and his arm tightened around me.  “That’s not funny, Jade,” he growled.

“I think it’s only fair,” I said, pushing at his chest half-heartedly and giggled.  “If we’re really going to start over, then we should even everything out.  I only ever kissed Jared when people were watching to make our fake relationship believable and I can assure you, there was no pleasure in it.  You had some fun, I should, too.”