Deadly Seduction (13 page)

“What about you?” I wondered before I slipped it on my head and fastened it underneath my chin.

“I should be okay.”

Tentatively, I placed my arms around his waist but the moment he took off, I held on to him tighter and kept my legs tucked in as he’d warned me. That first time, on the back of a Harley, couldn’t be adequately described. I felt real freedom for the first time, and a strong sense of rebellion. There was something about my body pressed against his that made the butterflies race and soar in my belly. I didn’t know what I felt exactly but this is what must have made all the girls curious and weak-kneed. This feeling of being so close to someone of the opposite sex.

The ride didn’t last nearly as long as I wanted it too and soon we were pulling up to my block. There were only four houses and they were all large, 4000 square foot homes behind tall black gates to keep out strangers. I got off and undid his helmet before I handed it back to him.

“Thank you,” I said before I reached over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Cillian turned toward me at the same time and our lips made contact instead. It was innocent enough but then he thrust his tongue into my mouth and I froze awkwardly. The taste of his saliva and the texture of this foreign thing left me heady and breathless…I didn’t know what to do. My heart raced in my chest and I suddenly felt light-headed and a shortness of breath.

The butterfly wings beat against my stomach and I felt a warming sensation down there where I’d never felt anything but period cramps before. This was strange, forbidden and new.

If I didn’t try then I would never know. My tongue moved gently against his and he stopped our kiss immediately before he pulled away.

What had I done wrong?
I thought I was okay at best but maybe I had a few more tricks to learn.

Cillian’s hands were in my hair and his soft breath was on my cheek as he said, “I can’t do this with you. It’s dangerous—you’re deadly for me. I fear once I fall into your Venus flytrap, I won’t find my way out again. Go home, little girl.”

His last words stung and I immediately turned away from him. “Thanks for the ride,” I mumbled and ran towards the gates.

My hands shook so badly, I merely put in the combination for the gate and it opened immediately. I walked through and tried to forget all about Cillian Cox. It was just a dream and nothing would ever happen between us ever again.

The Present

“Hello, earth to Gisela. You all right?”

I looked over at Naomi and realized we’d made it all the way to the Clubhouse. I wore a pair of fitted black skinny jeans, a bright red vicuña sweater and matching four-inch, knee-length high heel boots. My dark hair was down and brushed until it shined while my makeup—though minimal and understated—was flawless.

Had I been daydreaming about Cillian all this time?

Fuck, I had to get my head on straight. The man was still married and he wasn’t that innocent young man who’d dropped me off at my parents’ house all those ages ago.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I looked down at my watch and realized it was a quarter to eight o’clock. “The boys aren’t back yet?”

“No, but I wouldn’t worry so much about them.” Naomi walked to the bar and said something to prospect behind the counter. She returned with a straight whiskey for her and cognac snifter for me.

I sipped from it reluctantly. “Damn, woman, it’s Courvoisier for fuck’s sake and your presence is starting to warrant some unwanted attention. Drink fast—Bronaugh’s on her way over now.”

My shot was down my throat immediately and the smoothness settled into a warmth in my stomach, exactly what I needed to face the Queen Bee of the Lucifer’s Saints.

Like my own mother, she’d barely aged a day and after giving birth to five children, one would have thought it would have left its scars. If she had any, there were none to the visible eye.

She was quite the beauty with her alabaster skin, amber eyes and shoulder-length, wavy dark hair. She had classic black Irish features though the irony was only one son looked a damn thing like her and that was Kaelan, aka Jaden Cox, the lead guitarist for the uber-famous rock band, Scarlet Fever. Every one of her other kids looked like a mix of both parents though they all had the trademark Cox crystal blue eyes except for Ronan. His violet-blue eyes were inherited from Bronaugh’s mother.

Still fit and trim, she wore a pair of skinny black jeans and a violet peasant blouse with a pair of matching, five-inch shoe-boots. Her makeup was perfect and the coolness in her eyes was unreadable—I didn’t know whether she was relieved or upset I was here at all.

“A word, Ms. Jackson?” Bronaugh’s hand fell at the middle of my back and I slowly stood to my feet.

“Where to?”

“My office.”

She directed me through the compound until we reached the restoration department and she guided me to a small office that was neat and clean. There was a Keurig machine in the corner and an ashtray on her desk. She dumped the contents in a trashcan and immediately grabbed her pack of Marlboro Silver cigarettes, selected one and lit it with a Zippo lighter.

“So, do ya care to share what’s been goin’ on between youse and me oldest son?” Bronaugh had the unfortunate habit of issuing demands like questions even when they weren’t.

“Not particularly, no.” I watched her as she dragged from her cigarette and allowed the smoke to escape between her open lips.

“I had Cillian when I was seventeen. Desmond wasn’t around for his birth because he was too busy setting up a life for us in Boston with Brendan and Sean. For two years, it was Cillian and I. I was pregnant again when he was eighteen months old but I lost the baby due to stress related issues. Desmond came home about four months after the incident and knocked me up again, this time with Kaelan. I demanded he take me back to America with him because I couldn’t handle two children on me own.”

This wasn’t the first time I had heard about the plight of Bronaugh Cox but I acted like it was. She disliked me intensely but it had little to do with me not being Irish and everything to do with our personalities being too much alike. We automatically clashed whether we wanted to or not.

“Listen, I know where this little conversation is going but frankly, I’m not in the mood.” I paused and opened my own cigarette case where I took out a pre-rolled joint. I lit it with her lighter and dragged deeply. “The only reason why I would show my face around here at all is unless Cillian
wanted
me to be here.”

She smiled and murmured something in Gaelic about being a stupid little girl in love. “Do you know why Raymond, Ingrid, Desmond and I got together fourteen years ago and decided to separate youse two from the beginning? You can’t have honestly believed you were the first girl Cillian fooked but you were the first one he got pregnant and he did it on fookin’
purpose
.”

Between her revelation and the chronic, I was in a pretty strange place all of the sudden.

“No, that was my fault. We were practicing the rhythm method, and had been for at least a couple months. We snuck around for ages yet he wouldn’t touch me until December—”

“And you were pregnant by January although you two didn’t tell anyone until April. Do you remember that? Conan was born September twenty-third.
You
do the math.”

“I remember when my own son was born. I was in Belfast at a home for unwed mothers, it was cold all the time and I had to sneak out just to see Cillian. Why did you send us off together if we wouldn’t be able to be with one another? I needed him more than I’d ever had and he
wanted
to be with me too.”

“To teach youse two a lesson. The world is a cruel place.” Bronaugh dragged from her cigarette again. “I never thought my son would have the…issues he did after you left. He was never the same and although he played happy families with Brianna, everyone could see he was uninterested, anxious, upset…you changed something in him and when you two were taken from one another, he tried to lose himself. Apparently, living pissed and hurtin’ people was a better alternative than spending his time thinkin’ about you.”

“We changed something in each other, Bronaugh. You think after my parents dragged me back here I was footloose and fancy free? I hated he stayed in Belfast and hooked up with that no good cunt. I despise how much time he wasted with her when we could have been together. I don’t like what is bringing us back together now because there is no guarantee I won’t lose him!” I exclaimed before I dragged on my joint.

“There’s no guarantee of anythin’ in life. Enjoy the time you two have together, make the most of it and hope you can plead it out. Being away from him for eighteen months is nothing in the scheme of your lives. And you still have a great many years ahead of you.”

I finished my joint and extinguished it in the ashtray. “I suppose you bringing me back here has a point? What do you want from me? Your son’s all grown up and he’s gonna do whatever he wants. Even I can’t
control
him, Bronaugh—”

“True, but you can reel him in. He hasn’t been my Cillian since his father and I did what we did. He never forgave us for taking you away from him.”

I didn’t know what she expected to hear from me. I wasn’t going to absolve her or my parents for what they’d done to us. We might not have made it anyway but it should have been our choice especially after the baby was taken out of the equation.

It looked like the two of us had come to a draw. She and Dizzy wanted me to confide in them and let them know I could handle Cillian but I didn’t honestly know if that was possible and I certainly wasn’t about to start making promises I couldn’t keep.

Everything depended on how fucked up he was when he came back. We both knew it but neither of us wanted to actually have it said out loud because that would make it true.

The noise of bikes interrupted us and we both stood. Bronaugh quickly stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray and we both walked to the Clubhouse together. I didn’t realize we were holding hands until we strode in to the main area and everyone looked at us both.

I stared at my future mother-in-law and she winked at me as Ronan and Cillian walked through the doors.

Naomi was there by the door and he grabbed her before he swept her in a warm embrace and whispered in her ear.

Cillian looked around and when he spotted me, I think both our hearts stopped for a beat. His eyes were beautiful but there was also pain behind them and all I wanted to do was kiss him and make it all go away.