Deadly Seduction (17 page)

She reached over and clutched a lock of my hair. “My mommy never did that. I know…you don’t have to be nice to Declan and me but why
are
you…kind? Declan thinks it will only last until you and Daddy have a new baby and then you won’t care about us anymore.”

My heart hurt at the sounds of those words. “No, your dad and I aren’t planning anymore additions to the family, not now at least. And the reason why I am kind to you and your brother is because everyone deserves to be treated with kindness. It’s not a trick or a game, Caitlin. I care about you and Declan—”

“Because we belong to Daddy?”

“No…because I love your father and when we decided to be together, I knew he was a packaged deal. You and Declan, the Club, his brothers and his parents. I love you all because it’s the only way I will be able to live through this. If you really care about something then it makes all the heartache and pain worth it. Life isn’t always pretty but just know that when you can’t talk to your mom, you can talk to me. I won’t ever shut you out. I swear.”

Caitlin smiled before she stood out of her seat and kissed my cheek. “Thank you…step-Mommy.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, “Can I call you that instead of Gisela?”

“Of course you can. Now finish up what you want to eat and we’ll dispose of it before we leave to pick up your brother from school in a half an hour, okay?”

She nodded as she sat back down and began to play with her Hello Kitty doll again.

I stood and walked back into the sitting room where my MacBook Pro was open and tried to concentrate on work. My mind was all over the place and filled with memories about Cillian and I.

The Past

We sat together in the Saint’s Clubhouse.
Cillian had his own room, which I thought was kind of cool. It was pretty basic and lined up with posters of naked chicks on bikes along with posters of Limp Bizkit, Korn, Staind along with a few rap stars I recognized to be Dr. Dre, 2Pac and Eminem.

“Isn’t he before our time?” I pointed at the 2Pac poster as he kissed my neck.

“Yeah but he was a fuckin’ genius. I love his music…mostly because what he talked about…the struggle of black Americans in the States can be compared to the Northern Irish Catholics and how our people still struggle against the English.” He pulled away and gazed at me with lust-filled crystal blue eyes. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful and so fuckin’ way out of my league.”

I laughed nervously before I looked into his direction again. “I’m not that special, really. My mother has a dramatic taste for flair, if you like, and she raised my brother and I in this regal fashion but my dad…he’s really subdued and quiet. I don’t see much of him and I don’t know him very well either. He’s always gone.”

“Do you realize how much you prattle on about inconsequential bullshit when you’re nervous?”

“Wow. ‘Inconsequential’ is a pretty big word, Cillian.” I tickled his ribs before he grabbed me by the waist and brought me closer to him.

“I go to St. Patrick’s you know. I’m not a total knob head.”

“I know.” I ran my hair through his silky brown locks. He could use a haircut but he was still one of the sexiest boys I’d ever come across.

“We’ve been sneaking around for almost eight weeks, Sela. I want to make you mine so when the time comes, we can get married and there won’t be a damn thing anyone can do to stop us. I love you, Butterscotch…I knew it might happen the day I picked you up on the side of the road but you’re so special, you deserve better than me.”

“No, I don’t.” I paused and tried to calm my thundering heart. “I’m just scared. Your mom is here at the Clubhouse but what if your father showed up? We’d both be in serious trouble—you know that.”

Cillian laughed before he nuzzled my neck again. “My dad’s out of town on a run with Sean and Brendan. I can do whatever I want and my mom won’t say shit. She’s scared of my dad, and she likes you though she won’t admit it. She’d rather I be with a girl like you then one of the Slappers here at the Club.”

“S-slappers?” I stuttered. “Who are they?”

“Loose women who will fuck any member of the Club. They just want braggin’ rights, know what I mean? I lost my virginity to a Slapper when I was thirteen. She was eighteen and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.” He paused and touched my face. “I don’t want that to be your fate. Your first time should be with someone who you care about. Do you care about me?”

I nodded, unable to form the words with the knot forming in the back of my throat. “I love you, Cillian. I…I’m unsure if it’s the right time though. We’re both so young and what if I got…pregnant? My parents would kill me.”

“Who said I would ever get you pregnant? I know how to be safe. I’m not a total dunce. You know that.”

“Is that why you brought me here? To the Clubhouse?”

“Yes and no. I didn’t want your first time to be in the woods on a wool blanket. I wanted it to be in a bed where I could hold you afterwards because it hurts for a girl the first time.”

“I know.” I laid down on the bed while my legs still dangled over the edge. “I have friends who aren’t virgins anymore and they say the first time is awful. I’m not scared of the pain but what happens afterwards? When you’ve gotten what you wanted. Will you not want me anymore?”

Cillian was taller than I was but he still managed to wrangle his body beside mine. “Now I know you’re talkin’ absolute shit. Me? Lose interest in you? That’s not possible. I’ve held out as long as I have because I didn’t want to rush you into something you weren’t ready to do. I’m scared of what might happen afterwards because I know my sexual appetite is insatiable and once I’ve had a taste of you, I won’t be able to stop.”

I turned toward him and licked my lips in a suggestive manner. “Why wouldn’t you be able to control yourself? I’m just a virgin and most guys don’t want one. At least that’s what Kyra has told me.”

“I take it she’s your
BFF
?” he inquired sarcastically. “The same bestie who left you on the side of the road and God knows what would have happened to you if I hadn’t come along when I did.”

“She was going to pick me up.” I sat up again and began to play with my short but well-manicured nails. “She said she felt awful because when she drove back down the highway to look for me, I was gone. We spoke about an hour after you dropped me off and she apologized profusely. It was all over some lame ass fight we had about notes to a certain class. She’s
not
a bad person.”

Cillian rolled onto his back and stretched, his Sex Pistols vintage tee riding up to show off his six-pack and the thin trail of hair that led into his jeans. “She’s Jonesy’s daughter and I know all about the Hughes’ clan. They are rival bikers to our own MC. Listen to me, I’m sure she’s a great girl but just be careful, all right?”

I nodded before I rolled on top of him and traced that thin line of hair from his belly button all the way to where his jeans began. He shivered involuntarily before he sat up and kissed me. It was slow at first, our lips exploring one another before he opened my mouth to his with an insistent tongue that began swirl around my own.

My breath caught in my throat as a heady feeling came over me and I found it hard to breathe when his mouth was pressed against mine in the most delicious feeling while his hands and fingers touched my breasts through the flimsy fabric of my dress uniform.

He ended our lip-lock prematurely but his fingers began to undo the buttons on white dress shirt. “Sela, I want to see you without anything between us. Just skin on skin. I know you want that too, don’t you.”

“Yes, I want to see you too,” I whispered breathlessly.

Cillian removed my blouse and tossed it on the bed before he unbuttoned my skirt and the zipper came down inch by inch.

I couldn’t properly breathe as my heart thundered so hard in my chest, a part of me felt like I was dying. He knew every move to make, even the exact time to flip me over onto my back so he could remove my skirt, panties included.

I had small, B-cup breasts but that didn’t stop him from tracing my body with his fingers. It felt like he was taking in all of me, from my neck down to the curve of my hips.

“I want to commit your whole body to memory so I won’t ever forget you again, do you understand what I’m sayin’? I look at you now and all I see is all this natural beauty. The shape of your breasts, the way your nipples are small and pinkish brown. The natural curve of your hips and the ‘landing’ strip of pubic hair. You’re beautiful because everything is one hundred percent natural and there’s not anythin’ fake about you at all, baby, you understand me?”

I nodded my head. “That was poetry, Cillian. I wonder how I will feel when I finally get a chance to look at you sans clothing. You do plan to take them off, don’t you?”

“Of course, darlin’. You don’t have to ask twice.”

He stood and removed his vintage tee shirt, which showed off a lean muscled chest and rock hard abs. Though he was now taking his clothes off, I felt like I was missing a part of him because he wasn’t touching my body.

Like every girl at my age, I had hang ups about my body. My ass wasn’t big enough, my waist was too small, my stomach was flat but had no definition and my boobs were too small. However, Cillian made me feel like I was a goddess, and maybe I was in his eyes. That gave me an extra boost of confidence to believe my body was beautiful, at least in one guy’s opinion.

I enjoyed his strip show as he removed his Chuck Taylors and socks, slid down his jeans to show off a pair of boxers and then slid them down.

Whoa! I wasn’t expecting the package I saw before my own eyes. He was…huge! How the hell would that fit into my vagina?

I wasn’t a complete and utter prude. Kyra and I had watched our fair share of porn but I knew he was above average—at least eight inches, maybe more—but it was the girth that worried me. I wasn’t sure if my hand would fit around his length and how would he get me turned on enough that the pleasure would outweigh the pain?

He stepped toward me slid my legs open like I was at a gynecologist appointment. I wasn’t ready to just take the plunge and allow him to have all of me. Would he hate me when I told him to take it easy on me?

“Cillian, are you just going to shove your penis inside me because I’m not ready.” I closed my eyes and my face burned with embarrassment.

Way to go, Gisela, you sound so freakin’ lame!