Authors: Mia Hoddell
Chloe’s house wasn’t that far away from the city centre so it didn’t take long to walk there from the park. We both kicked off our shoes and headed into the living room seeing as no one was home and we wouldn’t be overheard.
“Can I have my phone back yet?” I moaned as I held my hand out in the hope that she would pass me it back.
“Nope, I haven’t finished yet.”
I couldn’t be bothered to argue so just left her to do whatever she was doing and put the T.V on.
A few hours later, towards the end of the really bad film I was watching my phone dropped in front of my head.
“All done,” Chloe said, sounding happy with herself.
“Will you tell me what you did or said now?” I knew it was a long shot but it might have worked.
“Of course not. Have you finished watching this because my soap is about to start?” She already had the remote in her hand, ready to change channel as soon as I said okay.
“Not really but it’s rubbish anyway.” She had already pushed the button and I decided to head home seeing as Chloe would just be ignoring me for the next hour.
“I’m going to go okay? See you soon.” I just got a casual wave with the back of her hand over the back of the sofa as I walked towards the door.
I had spent all of the bus journey home trying to see if Chloe had forgotten to delete some of the texts or if there was some place they could have been stored, but obviously there was no trace that she had even been on my phone. Even Kai’s replies had been deleted. When I walked through the front door I heard faint hellos shouted from my parents as I trudged up to my room, nervous about how Kai was reacting to whatever Chloe had text him.
I collapsed face first in the middle of my bed as soon as I got into my room, picking up my iPod and holding it in front of me. I had four notifications on my screen but something told me those weren’t the only ones.
Kai: Are you there?
Kai: Serena?
Kai: I think someone has got your phone I keep getting texts :/
Kai: Is what they said true??
Darcie <3: I’m home, I was out with Chloe, she was the one sending you messages but I have no idea what they said as she deleted all yours and her texts.
His response came surprisingly quick, some screen shots of the messages appearing and I assumed he was waiting up for me. Reading the messages I gasped out loud.
Me: Do you have any idea what Serena has been through the past few months and how you are affecting her with what you are doing, or not doing as the case maybe.
Kai: Sorry who is this? And what’s wrong with Rea?
Me: You’re what’s wrong, not telling her anything, always working with this new girl, you owe her some serious explanations.
Kai: What are you on about?
Me: You and Rea. She’s miserable, she keeps thinking you’re doing what her last boyfriend did with your new ’work’ colleague because you’re so secretive. So either tell her or you are going to lose her because this isn’t fair to her, she deserves better than you.
Kai: I don’t know what you think is going on but I can assure you I’m not cheating on Rea.
Sighing I didn’t know whether to deny everything Chloe had said or carry this thing on and face the consequences later.
Kai: So is that all true?
I knew I wouldn’t be happy if things continued the way they were so decided it was better just to hear everything, otherwise I would drive myself insane.
Darcie <3: Most of it I guess, you are kind of secretive. I mean you won’t tell me what your job is except that you work with this really pretty girl who flirts with you. I also know nothing about your family or your life, where as you know most stuff about me. How is that fair?
I was starting to regret it as soon as I sent my message, especially as it was so late but it wasn’t like I was going to sleep anyway.
Kai: So you think I’m cheating on you?? I know you had problems with your ex but that doesn’t give you the right to accuse me Rea. And I’m sorry but I can’t tell you about my job, not because I don’t want to, but because I physically can’t.
Darcie <3: Okay fine, I’ll drop the thing about the job but you still haven’t told me anything about your family. And I didn’t accuse you, Chloe did; all I did was mention the girl and she took it as you cheating on me.
I sighed making a mental note to kick Chloe’s ass the next time I saw her for getting me into this.
Kai: Well you must have mentioned something else for her to think I’m cheating. What about you? Do you think I am?
I didn’t know what to say or how I could avoid answering the question directly; I didn’t want to admit my thoughts but there was no way around it.
Darcie <3: I don’t know what to think, you don’t tell me anything. Do you like her?
Kai: Honestly? Yes I do a little, any guy would. She also reminds me of you slightly but it doesn’t mean I’m cheating okay? I’d never do anything like that to you. We might flirt occasionally but that’s it I promise.
I was stunned by his admission to liking her as well as hurt. I felt a surge of emotions coursing through my body, a lump formed in my throat as a slight pain ripped through my heart. Tears were prickling at my eyes as I sent my reply.
Darcie <3: So you’ve never gone on a date with her? Kissed her? Etc.
I knew I was only torturing myself more but I needed to know the answer, as it would have only bugged me if I hadn’t so regardless of my feelings, I pressed send anyway.
Kai: We’ve gone out together but it wasn’t like a date or anything. We were meeting up with some others and we just happened to be early so went for a walk on our own while waiting. She’s kissed me on the cheek a few times but I never reciprocated I swear.
Darcie <3: OK...
Turning my iPod off I threw it to the end of my bed not wanting to hear what he had to say but as soon as I had, it beeped, telling me I had received a message, and I couldn’t find the restraint to stop myself looking at it. Reluctantly I looked, even though I wanted to stay mad at him a little longer.
Kai: I’m sorry Rea. Forgive me?
Darcie<3: ’kay, whatever.
I typed not really meaning it but fed up of talking about her and him together. He probably sensed my reluctance to forgive him and my casual ending to the topic but his next message shocked me even more than his admissions and I wouldn’t have seen it coming in a million years.
Kai: I love you Rea. I don’t want to hurt you, I’m just being honest. I don’t want to hide anything else from you that isn’t necessary.
I wasn’t ready to say it back at that point especially when I was still angry at him so simply said “okay” and thankfully he hadn’t expected anything more.
Kai: You’re still mad aren’t you?
Darcie<3: I’ll be fine, just drop it okay. So what about your family? You never talk about them and avoid all questions related to them, especially the one earlier.
I tried to change the topic to something easier but if anything it seemed to anger Kai even worse than accusing him of cheating had.
Kai: My family aren’t important, I haven’t seen them in years.
Darcie <3: Don’t you miss them then? I mean I’d be lost without my parents sometimes, even if they do drive me insane.
His words confused me, there was an undercurrent to them, like he wasn’t telling me everything, but as I’ve found out from previous experience, getting Kai to tell me what he was really thinking was almost impossible.
Kai: Please drop it Serena, I don’t talk about them.
Darcie <3: But why? Aren’t you meant to be able to tell your girlfriend stuff? I mean you know most stuff about me.
Sighing I could tell he had already shut down and was just trying to get me to stop. In the end it was probably my persistence that tipped him over the edge.
Kai: I said drop it, I never talk about them and that’s not about to change, even with my girlfriend and you shouldn’t try to make me feel guilty about not wishing to tell you something that is that personal. You have your own secrets so don’t go on about mine!
His anger scared me but his determinedness to turn the argument against me infuriated me, which overrode my fear.
Darcie <3: No I don’t Kai, you know them all.
Okay so I lied, but how was he supposed to know that, and in that moment I just wanted him to admit he was wrong and apologize, even though it was unlikely.
Kai: You’re an idiot then. Only a fool tells someone all their secrets
.
With that parting comment he signed out, infuriating me even more. I felt like throwing my iPod across the room but controlled myself as I knew I’d regret it the next day. Instead I turned it off, promising myself I wouldn’t be the one to start any conversations unless he did, as I got ready for bed and fell asleep.
It’s safe to say I didn’t get much sleep that night. I kept waiting for Kai to send me a grovelling, apologetic message – sad I know – but I never received one. Also I spent a lot of the night tossing and turning while replaying the argument over and over in my head or rereading his messages about this new girl. Basically I was only adding to my misery but I didn’t know what else to do. It was probably about two in the morning before I finally fell asleep due to boredom but having college the next day robbed me of a lie in and a proper chance to get enough sleep.
The morning sun made sure I was up early, the light pouring in through my open windows, banishing the darkness and stirring me from my restless dreams. There were also a few birds perched on the tree outside my room, greeting me with their morning song and making me want to bury my head under my pillow. Instead I decided - against my better judgement - to get up and face the day, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I still had no messages as I left the house and staying true to my word I wasn’t the one to break the silence, at least not yet anyway.
The bus ride to college was weirdly silent between Chloe and myself, neither of us knowing whether the other was mad. I was still undecided on that point as technically it was Chloe who started the fight between Kai and me with her texts. I knew she was only trying to help though so it was the main source of my inner conflict on whether to say anything or not.
I guess the silence finally became unbearable for Chloe as she cornered me after second period – when we both had a free – demanding to know what happened.
“So what did Kai do? Was he mad at me or you? Did you dump him?”
Sighing at her usual way of asking questions one after the other without giving me time to answer I tried to silence her with a look but she didn’t see which was convenient for her.
“Not a lot. A little. No,” I said in answer to all her questions, deliberately giving her the simplest and vaguest answers possible, knowing it would drive her insane due to the lack of detail.
“That’s not funny Rea. I’m dying here, give me something to go on.”
We were sat in the cafeteria and I looked over my shoulder briefly to make sure no one could have overheard our conversation.
“Fine...but you really need to learn how to control your eagerness for new gossip,” I said, sulking slightly from the prospect of having to reiterate the previous night’s events.
“When I got home I had a load of messages asking where I was, who had my phone and if what you were saying was true. Obviously I couldn’t answer the last one as I had no idea what you had said, thanks for that by the way,” I began, allowing myself to be irritated by her actions. She just shrugged in response, motioning for me to continue talking.
“Anyway he sent me screen shots of all the messages and I told him that most of what they said were true. That’s when he started freaking out asking whether I was accusing him of cheating or not. I tried to avoid directly saying it by saying he was secretive. The argument went on for a while before he finally admitted to liking her. You’ll never guess his reason for it though.”
Chloe was very rarely silent when she was listening to new gossip but to my surprise she stayed quiet even when I asked for her opinion or tried to involve her. It felt too much like a rant if she didn’t jump in every now and then.
I waited making it clear I wasn’t going to continue unless she answered me.
“So what excuse did he give?”
That was typical Chloe, assuming the worst before I had a chance to give her the true version.
“He told me that he did like her and that a guy would be stupid not to. He also said that she reminded him of me. That irritated me a lot but it got worse. I don’t know why but I asked what had happened between the two of them and he said she kissed him on the cheek – without him responding – and they’ve gone on a date, which he said was just the two of them showing up early.”
Chloe reacted just as I imagined she would. Her mouth moved but no words came out and her eyes were wide and unblinking.
“That so means he’s cheating on you! Why didn’t you dump him? Tell me you’re at least making his life a living hell?”
“Not really Chlo. He grovelled for a bit then I forgave him just to shut him up, even though I was still mad.” Chloe headbutted the table in frustration at my actions but it only caused me to laugh. At that moment the others decided to join us and all of them looked quite confused by Chloe’s actions.
“Um Rea?” Lindsay left the question hanging, instead choosing to wave her arms around, gesturing towards Chloe’s hunched body.
“She’s mad because I haven’t dumped Kai. I was in the middle of telling her about the trouble her texts caused last night.”
They just nodded as if that was enough to satisfy them while I turned my attention back to Chloe.
“So do you want to hear the rest of the story or you planning on continuing until you knock yourself out or even worse get a huge bruise on your forehead that not even make up will cover?”