Deadly to Love (8 page)

Instantly she stopped at my words, which drew fits of laughter from the others. We all knew that it was the latter option that caused the instant halt to her actions.

“Go on then, even though I probably don’t want to hear it,” she said while raising her head.

“After that I dropped the subject of the other girl and asked him about his family, which caused him to become even angrier than the cheating accusation surprisingly. He refused to tell me anything saying he’s allowed some secrets and called me an idiot when I said I told him most things. Anyway that’s when he signed out and we haven’t spoken since.”

I looked around to find the faces of my friends all staring at me with blank, unreadable, expressions. The cafeteria was getting busier as lunch had started but my friends’ gazes never wavered from my face.

“Come on guys it’s not that bad and if he doesn’t say anything by the time I get home I will dump him OK? I just don’t want to be the one to give in first,” I said just to break the silence that was quickly becoming unnerving. It seemed to work and everyone except Chloe went back to picking at their food.

“You better Rea, it’s no good just saying it to make us happy. He really is no good for you.”

“Yeah okay Mum.” A few laughed at my comment but Chloe just scowled, apparently offended that her demands were being ignored.

“I need some time to think and get my head around things. I really like him and don’t want to ruin it Chlo.”

She just shrugged, focused more on the piece of bread she was slowly pulling apart.

“Whatever Rea, don’t whine at me when you get hurt though because I warned you, I tried to help and told you what you should do,” she mumbled at the table.

Sighing I got up to leave and as I bent down to pick up my bag I bumped into Ian who was for some reason stood behind me. As he held out his hands to steady me I tried to suppress the urge to slap him once again and instead flinched involuntarily.

“Careful Rea,” he said, flashing one of the smiles that I used to love but now just made me shiver.

“What do you want?” I couldn’t keep the annoyance out of my voice as I pulled my bag over my shoulder and crossed my arms over my chest.

“We’ve got history next,” he said as if that was enough of an explanation.

Please don’t tell me he wants to walk with me to class,
I thought.

“And? I’m quite capable of finding the room myself you know. I’ve been doing it for a year now.” I replied, irritated by his presence as I moved to walk towards the hall, not wanting to be late again.

When Ian decided to follow me it made me madder but it wasn’t like I was going to show him that. Instead I walked on, ignoring him while he stood at my side, rambling on about some sport match he had competed in.

I would have loved to be able to switch seats to get away from him as we entered the classroom but sadly it wasn’t possible. Mr Baits had never seemed to grow out of the high school routine of writing a seating plan and never letting anyone move. I doubted he would be sympathetic to my reasoning anyway.

We found our seats and Ian all too casually rested his arm on the back my chair.

“Great game the other day by the way, that team would get nowhere without you.”

Choosing to ignore his arm as I didn’t want to cause a scene, I leaned away from it and turned to look at him, only to find his face was much too close for comfort.

“Yeah they would we’re the best nationally, I wouldn’t be able to score without them,” I said as I returned to face the front of the class. I really didn’t want to talk to him but I couldn’t find a way to avoid it.

“I’m sorry Rea.”

His sudden apology shocked me, although I wasn’t sure what he was apologising for.

“For what? Cheating, lying, being a total jackass or anything else you’ve ever done?” I knew I was acting like a bitch, but I was already wound up from my friends, and Ian didn’t deserve me to try and be nice to him.

“Yeah okay I deserve that.” He moved the arm that was resting on the back of my chair to rub his neck, a gesture he performed regularly when he was guilty, uneasy or nervous. “For all of it I guess, I was a jerk and treated you like shit so I’m sorry.”

I didn’t know why he was doing this all of a sudden as I thought I had made it quite clear there was no hope for us ever again.

“Well thanks, it’s not like I’m still losing sleep over you but it’s good to know you think you’re a jerk. So what’s your motive for this sudden apology?”

Sighing he put his arm back around my chair and slouched in his own. Neither of us were paying attention to the lesson Mr Baits was trying to teach us on the Russian revolution.

“I don’t have one Rea. Honestly I’m not trying to win you back, I wish I could but I know you. I was just hoping maybe we could move towards being friends? Or at least not enemies if that won’t happen.”

I knew Chloe would lecture me about it later but at that point I was fed up of being mad at everyone so simply agreed to what Ian wanted, reasoning that I would only have to see him for a few more weeks.

The surprise that registered on his face was fun to watch, obviously he thought he was going to have to persuade me a bit more than he had. To show his happiness he squeezed my shoulder slightly before dropping his arm finally.

“So how’s it going with that other guy?”

I’m sure in that moment my face mirrored my friends faces earlier but Ian just kept shocking me.

“Same old, why? Have you had a sudden change of heart about not beating him to a pulp? Even if you could, that is.”

He snorted a false laugh and I regretted saying anything that could be interpreted as a challenge. Ian always had to run into things head first if challenged and would never back down.

“Of course not, just trying to find a reason to do it even more.”

I was instantly thankful I hadn’t told him about our recent argument. Even though I knew Kai would be able to take on Ian easily, I didn’t like the idea of anyone fighting for me.

“I think I prefer silence,” I said, making it clear he had crossed a line and I was no longer in a receptive mood.

We sat through the rest of the lesson in silence. I caught him looking over at me every now and then but other than that he seemed to really be trying. He was no where near making up for what he did to me but at least it was a start. All too slowly the lesson ended finally and I headed out the building to meet up with Chloe before catching the bus to go home. There was no way I would have been able to keep Ian’s change of heart from her so on the bus ride home I told her everything and like me she was instantly suspicious but let it drop when she saw my mood.

When the bus reached Chloe’s house she simply got up saying, “remember what I said about Kai,” before she walked off the bus without the usual hug and smile.

Sighing I stayed on the bus until my stop and when I reached my house I trudged to my room, nervous about what I would or wouldn’t find on my iPod. I needn’t have bothered though because as I switched the screen on there was nothing other than a notification about an email from an online clothing shop I like.

I went about the rest of the day doing an essay I had been set in history and watching T.V, while I tried not to think about Kai. My bitter mood didn’t go unnoticed by my parents when they got home but thankfully they didn’t try to delve too deep into the reasons behind it. They had never been pushy and as much as I fell out with them, they always knew when not to pry. I would tell them when I was ready but right then, I wasn’t in the mood to explain to them about Ian or my new boyfriend who I had had a fight with.

I had just finished eating and was going to go and find a DVD to play when my iPod let out a series of low volume beeps, telling me I was getting messages sent to me. Not wanting to appear desperate I let the iPod continue to stack up the notifications, refusing to go running whenever Kai decided to talk.

It wasn’t until after my film did I decide he had waited long enough and went to check out what he had said.

Kai: Serena?

Kai: You going to talk to me today?

Kai: I’m sorry Rea :( I overreacted, I didn’t mean what I said.

Kai: Rea please...I really am sorry

Kai: OK you don’t have to talk to me, just log onto the game we met on, please?

Sighing I logged into the instant messenger to see that he was still online waiting for me. I knew this because as soon as I signed in a window popped up on my screen with a few apologetic messages.

Darcie<3: If you want to explain go ahead.

It was the only message I sent, knowing it was cold, but he started this and until I was happy I was going to continue the bitch routine.

Kai: Explain which bit?

Darcie<3: Whatever you feel needs explaining...

His answer irritated me, he already knew how I felt and what I wanted to know yet he refused to just say it.

Kai: I was in a bad mood yesterday, some stuff to do with my job which I can’t explain happened and it wound me up. I took it out on you and that wasn’t fair, I’m sorry.

Darcie<3: It’s not good enough Kai, you can’t just flip out and have a go at me for asking questions. Give me a reason why I shouldn’t leave you because honestly, I can’t handle anymore lies.

Kai: Go look at the game we met on before you make a decision.

Sighing I logged onto the game, not aware that Kai was expecting a reply.

Kai: Please?

Darcie<3: I’m on it. Hang on.

I looked down at my screen to see that I had forty-two new comments. I scrolled down to start reading them and was stunned by what I saw. Each message was from a different friend of Kai’s asking me to forgive him and take him back because he really was a good and genuine guy. Of course there were a few haters telling me that if they were in my position this wouldn’t work but I ignored them and despite my reluctance, I was quite impressed by what he had done.

I sat there rereading the messages, trying to find a reason not to forgive him but I couldn’t. What he had done had erased all my anger.

Darcie<3: OK fine, I forgive you. How long did it take you to get all those people to message me?

As I typed the message I had a few more notifications come through telling me that I had received more messages on the game asking me to forgive Kai. To stop them I posted something saying I had before looking at Kai’s reply.

Kai: Nearly all day. Do you really mean that?

Darcie<3: Of course, that was pretty impressive and it’s hard to stay mad when someone does something like that. No one has ever done something like that for me before.

My iPod was bleeping again and pleased messages began to appear on my screen, telling me it was a good decision and that I wouldn’t regret it.
At least I hope I won’t,
I thought.

Darcie<3: Don’t think that’ll work every time though because it won’t.

Kai: I know but I didn’t want to lose you and I guessed right, talking to you wouldn’t have had much effect.

Darcie<3: If you had told me in the first place you wouldn’t have had to do anything. I get that you’re not going to tell me everything but there are some things I need to know and if I don’t hear them this isn’t going to work.

Kai: OK I’ll try explain some of the things when you’re on tomorrow but I have to go right now. Sorry :(

Before I had a chance to say bye he had already signed out and I felt a little annoyed I had forgiven him so easily if that was how he was going to react. However I had got him to agree to answer some of my questions which stopped me being too mad.

Instead I went to bed early to try and catch up on the sleep I lost the night before. I thought about how Kai had made an effort to stay with me. I didn’t even realise I was comparing him to what Ian used to do until I was nearly asleep. I decided then that the messages must have been at least partially true as Kai had made an effort unlike Ian.

“You did what?!” Chloe’s hands flew up above her head as she tried to find some way to express her frustration.

“I sort of forgave him and I’ve persuaded him to tell me everything when I speak to him next.”

Okay, so I was bending the truth slightly but it was the only way I was going to convince Chloe, not that I needed her approval, I kept reminding myself.

It was a warm, sunny Saturday and with only a few weeks left of term we were all finally free to do what we liked, and this meant meeting up in the park. As much as I wanted to hear what Kai had to explain, he hadn’t messaged me when I woke up so I assumed he was either busy or wasn’t back yet. This did irritate me more as I was starting to wonder if he really was what he claimed to be. However when Chloe phoned ordering me to meet up it gave me the perfect distraction, well at least until the interrogation began.

“I was just about ready to dump him but when I got home I had a load of messages apologising. I didn’t make it easy for him and when he realised he was getting no where he told me to look at the game we met on. Here, take a look.” I switched my screen on to find the list of messages everyone had sent me before passing it to Chloe to scroll through.

“Seriously how could I break up with him when he does that? He was making an effort and maybe I overreacted.” I sighed, then turned to smile at Lindsay, Mel and Becka who were lowering themselves to sit beside us on the grass.

“What she done now Chlo?” Mel said, jumping to conclusions as usual.

“Only gone and forgave the guy. He did do something pretty sweet though. Check this out.” She threw my iPod across and the three of them crowded around the tiny screen.

“She wouldn’t forgive him so he did that and I’m not really surprised Rea forgave him after that, even I probably would have.”

I looked at her stunned, Chloe wasn’t the type to give anyone, except maybe us four, a second chance so she must have loved what Kai did.

“So do you like him now?” I knew it was still a long shot as I asked it.