Dearest Series Boxed Set (17 page)

“Not since I slept in your bed. On your birthday.” He says it without hesitation, his breath hot against my skin.

Wow. That wasn’t what I was expecting. It’s better. Grinning, I start to relax against him when he stops caressing me and looks up.

“Why do you ask?”

I bite my lip. What do I say?
I saw you with that bombshell and instantly assumed you guys hooked up?
Okay, maybe I don’t say that.

“I, um, saw you talking to a girl the other day in the student union, and she seemed… comfortable with you.”

He tilts his head, obviously confused.

“She had red hair?” I say it like a question to prompt him. I bite my tongue to keep from sharing what I overheard in the convenience store because I really can’t be sure Angry Red was talking about Gavin.

I don’t mean to bring her up like this, and this is most definitely
not
the way to kick off a heated makeout session, but I guess we should talk about it if I have hopes of this going anywhere.

“Angelique? You saw me talking to Angelique?”

“Beautiful. Tall. Curvy.” Glancing down, even with the push-up bra, I’m immediately disappointed with my B-cup.
Jesus, Clementine. Stop being so insecure.

He angles my chin up with his finger, forcing me to look him in the eye.

“Darlin’, that’s been over a long time.” He sighs, and I see exasperation and fatigue in his expression instead of longing or regret. “Yeah, she wants to get back together, but I’m not interested.”

I search his face, looking for any hint of half-truths or ambiguity but find none. I nod, but I’m embarrassed I asked, and I start to look away, but he won’t let me. He holds my face between both hands, gently stroking my skin with the rough pads of his thumbs. “She’s got nothing on you. Trust me.”

That’s what it comes down to. Trust. Do I trust Gavin not to hurt me? Staring into his endless emerald eyes, I think I do.

I smile back, the relief in my chest palpable, and I reach up and run my finger over his lips.

“If we’re going to do this—date, I mean,” I say quickly, realizing how that sounds—”I want to be clear: I don’t share.”

He laughs, turning and pushing me onto the bed. “Good. That makes two of us.” He slides over me and kisses me hungrily. “Agreed. No sharing,” he says into my mouth.

As our bodies meld together, my hands roam down his fabulously rock-hard body, along his broad shoulders until they reach those beautifully sculpted abs. Frustrated by the barrier of his clothes, I tug his shirt out from his pants and drag my fingers down his stomach.

I love his weight on me, and I’m reveling in his absolute perfection when I hear knocking on the front door. When it doesn’t stop, I kiss Gavin once more and groan. “Hold that thought,” I say as I crawl out from under him. After I let in Dani, who had forgotten her keys, I scurry back into my room. Knowing that I can hear Jenna and Ryan screwing from the four corners of this apartment, I walk over to my desk and pop on the makeout mix on my iPod, the one I’ve been using to write all of my hot hookup scenes in my story.

As Sia’s exotic voice comes through the speakers, I turn back to Gavin and kick off my shoes. He’s sitting on my bed, watching me. Standing in front of him, I put my hands on my hips as I soak him in.

“I rather like you in my bed,” I admit. He is a fine specimen of a man.

His eyes are hooded as he reaches out and runs his hand up my leg. When he reaches the edge of my thigh-highs, his eyes widen briefly and his breath catches. “Do I get to see what’s under here?” he asks, his voice deep and seductive.

“If you’re very good. Or very bad. I haven’t decided which yet.” I marvel at how I’ve become undone and wanton for this man. How I crave his touch.

He licks his lips and pulls me to him so that I’m straddling his lap. My dress pulls up, and the edges of my tights peek through. His hands immediately go there, his fingers lightly skimming my pale skin.

“You know you make me crazy, right?” he whispers as he kisses my neck. His words make my heart thunder in my chest, and I’m aching, everywhere. I’ve never felt like this before. Needy. Euphoric. Wanting him under my skin.

“I could say the same about you,” I say breathlessly as moisture pools between my thighs.

His mouth descends to my collarbone as I rock against the hardness between my legs, making us both groan. I want him so badly, my skin burning against him. Pushing him back onto my bed, I lean down to run the tip of my tongue gently over his lips.

“Fuck, Clementine,” he growls, tangling his fingers in my hair and pulling me tightly to him. I’m careening over a precipice, everything in me yearning to know what’s on the other side.

I push away and sit up, leaning back to rub the apex of my thighs into him. His eyes flutter closed. There’s something powerful about sitting astride him, watching him react to my movements. As I reach out, tracing his cheekbones with my finger, Gavin looks at me, his expression so intense and full of the same desire.

His hands travel up my hips and across my stomach until he cups my breasts. The thrill of having his hands on me like this catches me off guard, and I arch my back, shamelessly forcing my body against his. He pulls down the front of my dress, exposing my bra. Before I realize it, he’s unlatched the snap in front, and I’m bare, the cold air giving me goosebumps. I lurch forward a bit, my long hair in my face, almost covering me but not quite.

“You. Are. So. Beautiful.” The appreciation in his voice has me trembling. When I lost my virginity, the guy basically hiked up my skirt and went to town. And I allowed that memory to harden me to other men, to think they were all alike.

But this? Feeling cherished. Desired. Worshiped. It’s an overwhelming rush. I’ve always thought getting naked with someone would be embarrassing, but watching Gavin want me somehow makes me more confident.

Reaching down, I slowly unbutton his shirt. When I reach the last button, he sits up, and my hands travel along his muscular chest until they reach his shoulders. The sight of his bare skin makes me want more. So much more.

I push the shirt off him and reach for his belt buckle, drawing it open before I scoot off him so he can slide off his pants. Standing next to him, I remember Ryan’s words about Gavin deserving lewd. I don’t know that I’m going to go that far, but I definitely feel safe with him, treasured by him, and I want to show my appreciation.

His hand goes to the back of my knees to pull me back, but I stop and reach for the hem of my dress, slowly pulling it up and over my head so that I’m only wearing a pair of black bikini underwear and thigh-highs.

“Damn, baby.” His eyes take me in, the hunger in his stare palpable. I let him look, a wolfish grin spreading on his face.

In a heartbeat, he pulls me back onto the bed, flipping us around so that I’m on my back, making me gasp. He settles between my legs, fitting our bodies together, with only his boxers and my underwear separating us. I’m drenched
there
and a little embarrassed by my own desire, but as he presses against me, I could care less.

We rock together, his mouth on my neck like he’s tasting me. I almost can’t stand what he’s doing to my body. I’m on fire everywhere we touch.

His hand travels up my thigh, and as it reaches the edge of my panties, he looks up at me, a question in his eyes. I wrap my arms around his neck to pull him to me, an answer to his unspoken words because, God, yes, I want him to touch me.

As he slips his hand beneath my underwear, sliding across the most sensitive part of me, I moan, arching my back, unable to control myself. His finger travels up and down in a slow, delectable rhythm that has me panting.

I’m so close a few minutes later when he slides in and palms me, and I explode, gripping his shoulders as I come unraveled, shaking and delirious with pleasure.

When I finally stop shuddering, I laugh. I can’t help it. I’ve never let myself go like this. Sure, I messed around with Daren, but I never let him touch me so intimately. I mostly touched him. I don’t think I ever really trusted him enough to be that vulnerable.

Gavin watches my expression and grins. “That good?”

If I weren’t already flushed with that earth-shattering orgasm, I’m sure I’d be blushing right now. I shake my head a bit, brushing off the embarrassment before I look him in the eye.

“Mind-blowing,” I say, still out of breath. He leans down and kisses me gently, and as our lips touch, I know I am gone. I am his.

My hands travel down his chest until my fingers dip into the sculpted V of his hip muscles that I’d love to lick. Hmm, that’s definitely headed beyond what I should do tonight. I wouldn’t even know how to do
that
, which makes me think I need to sit Jenna down for a tutorial.

Gavin drops his head to my neck, his breath hot against my skin. He groans as I reach under the waistband of his boxers, my palm sliding against his hard, velvety skin. And oh. My. God. My fingers barely wrap around him, which has me all kinds of hot and bothered—again—and, let’s be honest, scared, because holy shit, how would we fit together?

My breath hitches in my throat, and it takes me a second to gather myself.
Relax, Clem. You know how to do this.
When I wouldn’t sleep with Daren, I got really good at this. But I never wanted Daren the way I want Gavin. This… this is different.

He breathes against me as I stroke down on him.

“Fuck, Clem, that feels good,” he murmurs.

His words make me shiver, and I smile. I want him to fall apart. I want to do this to him, for him.

Feeling a little bolder, I pick up the pace as I pull his face to me and kiss him gently before I take his tongue into my mouth and suck. He groans again, and right now I want to devour him whole.

“Shit, I’m going to come.” He starts to pull away, but I shake my head.

“Uh-uh. Don’t even think about it.” I kiss him again, sucking his tongue to the same rhythm as my hand moves along him, and his whole body tenses before warmth spreads against my wrist.

We lie there, quiet, our chests heaving against one another.

“You’re so amazing,” he whispers in my ear, and I don’t need to see his face to know he’s smiling.

After a few minutes, once his breathing begins to slow, I start to pull away, but he rolls over onto his back, tucking me beneath his muscular arm. I laugh, wiggling free to grab the box of tissues next to my bed. He peeks up at me as I kneel over him, his eyes sleepy, and he shakes his head.

“I can’t look at you unless you want to go for a second round.”

I grin, kissing him softly before I snuggle back down against him, pulling a blanket over us. My limbs go limp, and I’m awash in a euphoric afterglow as I fall asleep.

I dream about Gavin and that as we’re tangled together he tells me he loves me.

Best dream ever.

D
aylight breaks
through my window when I wake. Gavin is draped over me, his face peaceful and relaxed. Nuzzling against him, I inhale his scent. I could stay wrapped up in his arms all day.

“Morning,” he says groggily.

“Hi. Did you sleep okay?” Considering we’re crammed into my narrow bed, I’m hoping he wasn’t miserable last night.

“Hell, yes, I slept well.” He chuckles and peeks under the covers before he lets his head fall back onto the pillow. “Feel free to wake me up half naked any day.”

I elbow him, and he laughs.

“Do you have to go to work?” he asks.

“Not ’til noon.”

My phone rings in my purse, which is by the bed, so I reach over him and grab it. The call is from an unknown number, and when I pick up, no one responds.

“Weird.”

“What is it?” Gavin strokes my back.

“This is the third or fourth hangup I’ve gotten from an unknown caller in the last couple of days.” I shake it off. “It’s probably nothing.”

I shiver in the cold room, and he wraps his arms around me.

“Want to grab breakfast?” Morning Gavin has the sexiest voice.

I smile. I’ve heard so many stories of guys who race for the door after they’re intimate with a girl. I love that Gavin isn’t like that.

“Sure. I’m gonna jump in the shower first.”

He groans at me. “Not yet. I’m not ready to let go of you.” He wraps himself around me. His hand trails up my waist, making me squirm. “You’re ticklish?”

“Maybe. A little. But don’t tell anyone.”

“I’m learning all kinds of things about you this weekend,” he teases.

I cover my face, embarrassed by the sheer number of things to which he could be referring.

He whispers, “You’re so damn adorable, I want to bite you.” When I peek over at him, his eyes are closed, a smile teasing his lips.

In the light of day, he’s even more stunning. Light stubble covers his face, and when he glances at me through those long lashes, I have to bite my lip to stop from grinning. I push him off me so that he’s on his back, and I cross my arms over his chest, peering down at him because I want to soak him in. I rest my chin on my arms as he plays with a long strand of my hair. Simply having our naked chests pressed together is almost indecently intimate. And maybe that gives me a certain kind of courage.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask hesitantly. His eyebrows perk up. “Have you… have you been with many women?”

His lighthearted demeanor shifts into something more serious as he studies my face. “Uh, not that many. No. Have you?”

“Been with many women? No. Not many,” I joke.

He laughs a little, pressing his palms to his eyes. “I really didn’t need new material to fantasize about you.”

“You… you fantasize about me?”

He drops his hands and grins at me. “Have you seen yourself lately?”

I look away, embarrassed, and holy hell, flattered. I try hard to focus on my point. “The reason I asked about the women is because—”

“Because we’re dating and you have a right to know.” He brushes hair out of my face.

“Yes, that, but you’re…”
You’re good with my girlie parts and something about that makes me nervous.
“You have some skill with those hands, not that I have all this firsthand experience for comparison, because I don’t. Not really.” Why the fuck am I telling him this? I have no idea. Something about Gavin makes me say things that normally would never come out of my mouth.

“What do you mean you have no experience? Are you saying nobody has ever…”

“I mean, I’m not a virgin, but I’ve only slept with one guy, and it wasn’t Daren. Actually, I never got close to letting Daren get in my pants,” I say as I run my finger along his chest. “I think I never really trusted him, and I guess I had good reason not to in retrospect.” I could get lost in the ridges of muscle on Gavin’s chest. “The second guy was only one night the summer after high school, and the experience definitely was
not
memorable. So to answer your question, no, no one has ever… gotten me there.”

He watches me as he reaches up and slowly strokes my cheek.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I laid that all on you,” I say, frowning.

He threads his fingers through my hair. “No, I want to know about you, about your past. You usually seem like you don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to pressure you.”

I’m tired of being so closed off. It hasn’t made me any stronger or braver. It hasn’t imparted any wisdom or comfort. It’s just made me lonely.

I take a deep breath and narrow my eyes at him playfully. “What do you want to know? If you tell me how many girls you’ve been with, you can ask me anything.”

He grins. “A quid pro quo? Okay, I’m game. Um, let me think about it.” He starts silently counting on one hand and then the other and back and forth again as my eyes get bigger. Then he looks at me and laughs. “Kidding.”

“Shit, you scared me.” I let out a sigh of relief.

“Like seven or eight.” He caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “My turn.”

I nod, bracing myself for what he might ask.

“Why the one-night stand? Most guys would kill to be with you.” His voice is soft and without judgment.

Biting my lip, I think about it. “I didn’t like the power it had over me. I wanted to get it over with. Daren acted like it was this huge thing that I wouldn’t sleep with him when girls were lining up behind me, and honestly, I wasn’t opposed to the act itself. I don’t think of myself as a prude, but for me it was more about being
that
vulnerable with someone.” I rest my chin on my arms as I trace his collarbone with my thumb. “I didn’t like feeling that Daren could use it against me, and I never wanted a man to be able to do that to me again. In the end, I thought it was easier to have faceless sex than to be vulnerable with someone who could hurt me.”

Surprisingly, I’m not embarrassed that I shared this bit of my history with him.

His hands gently run along my arms and back. “I didn’t think you were a virgin.”

“Most people assume I am because I never date.”

“It’s the way you look at guys. Girls with no experience either look afraid or eager. You looked disgusted.”

I laugh, wrapping my arms around him so I can lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It’s slow and steady, a rhythm that’s strangely soothing. After a few minutes, I think of my next question. “Who was your first?”

“My little sister’s babysitter, Rachel. I was fifteen, almost sixteen, and she was seventeen.”

“Hmm. An older woman. Very daring.”

“I’m sure I was anything but daring,” he laughs.

I raise my head and look down at him. “If she could only see you now,” I say suggestively. “Any of those girls serious?”

“No fair. It’s my turn,” he says, flipping me onto my back, making me laugh. He wraps his arms around my waist, pressing me tightly to him. “But I’ll answer your question. I had a serious girlfriend in high school, but she went to UCLA, so we broke up, and I dated a couple girls in college, but they didn’t work out.”

“What happened with Angelique?”

He leans down and kisses my neck. “Being with her was empty,” he says as he continues migrating south. “She’s smart and beautiful but cold.”

I tangle my hand through his hair, and as things start getting interesting, someone knocks on my door.

“Clem?” It’s Jenna.

“Go away. I’m naked,” I yell, making Gavin chuckle.

“You have a delivery. Get your ass out here.”

He groans but rolls off me. I sit up, wondering how to cover myself without taking the entire comforter with me. Of course, this is ridiculous as Gavin has already seen me topless. I start to crawl over him, but he pulls me down on top of him.

“You are one fucking hot girl, Clementine,” he says, smacking my rear. “I’ve never enjoyed baseball that much before.”

I grin like a lunatic. “Not bad for an in-field triple, huh?”

“And my girl knows her bases. Stop trying to turn me on.”

I laugh as I slink out of his grasp. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I brace myself to walk across the room clad in only underwear.
Screw it.
I’m a modern woman. What’s the big deal? I get up, fully aware that his eyes are boring a hole through me, and I grab a black t-shirt out of my dresser and slip it on before I head out into the living room, closing the door behind me. Jenna and Harper are sitting on the couch, drinking coffee, and there, on the end table, is the most amazing bouquet of white roses I’ve ever seen.

“You must have done something right last night,” Jenna says provocatively.

They’re gorgeous. I lean over to smell them.

“Read the note,” Harper says, pointing to a small pink envelope peeking out behind a flower.

I pull the card out from the holder. It says,
Perfect roses for a perfect girl. Love, Gavin.
Emotion catches in my throat, and I almost want to cry.

“It’s gotta be good. Look at her expression,” Jenna whispers to Harper.

Swallowing hard, I hand them the card. They read it, and Jenna starts squealing. I swear she’s worse than any teenager when it comes to this sort of thing. “Holy shit, Clem!”

I start to shush her when Gavin strolls out. He’s dressed, but his hair looks like I just bedded him.
Oh my lord.
The mere sight of this man makes me want to lock him in my room for another go.

“Ladies,” he says, walking over and wrapping his arms around me.

Harper and Jenna look at each other and grin.

“Morning, handsome,” Jenna says in a bedroom voice that makes me laugh. “Didn’t know you guys were having a slumber party.”

“Baseball, we were playing baseball,” he says as he kisses my temple.

* * *

G
avin stands in my doorway
, and I lean up and kiss him despite the fact that my two roommates are sitting behind us, watching our every move.

“Thanks for the flowers.” I reach up and grab both sides of his jacket. His eyes are so expressive and filled with the same emotions that seem to be pulsing through my veins. “I’ve never gotten flowers before,” I whisper.

“I remember.” He places a small kiss on my lips.

“When did you send them? You couldn’t have done it this morning.”

“Yesterday afternoon.” The corner of his mouth tilts up.

“How did you know we’d have a good date?” Oh, God, I hope I wasn’t a foregone conclusion. But I don’t think that’s what the flowers were for. After all, he was the one with his hands in his pockets when we reached my front door.

Leaning down, he whispers in my ear, “I wanted you to have them, no matter what happened last night.”

My brief bout of anxiety dissipates with those words, and I can’t contain my grin. “You need to be careful or you’ll spoil me.”

“I fully intend to spoil you,” he says, kissing me once more before he leaves. “See you in a bit.”

We both want a shower before breakfast, so he’s heading home to clean up. When I close my front door, I lean back on it and sigh that deep release a girl can only have after an amazing first date.

“Aren’t you glad you didn’t cancel last night?” Harper asks as she smells my bouquet.

“Can I just say that my
boyfriend
is dangerously talented in the bedroom?”

Jenna, whose eyebrows dart up when she hears that word, starts freaking out again. “Oh my God! Oh my God! I want details!”

“I need a shower, girls. I am all kinds of dirty right now, and I don’t want to be late for breakfast.” I duck into my bedroom to grab a change of clothes despite Jenna’s protests that I dish. When I get in the bathroom and look in the mirror, I hardly recognize myself. My hair looks windblown, my cheeks are pink, and I look wildly contented despite the mild throb
down there
that started when we were rolling around in bed this morning.

Standing under the hot water, I think about what he said, that he fantasizes about me, and that throb grows. I’m not really one for self-service—I’ve only done it a couple of times, mostly out of curiosity—but Gavin has flipped a switch in me, and I can’t go back. I don’t think I want to go back even if I could.

I want him, now, and since he’s not here, the memory of him is probably not a bad way to go about this.

Closing my eyes, I think of him—the way his hands caress me, the way his lips brush against mine, the way every part of him is hard muscle—and I let my hands roam my body. As they trail down my wet stomach, my breathing picks up, and when I reach between my legs, I try to imitate what Gavin did to me and place small, slow circles along my sensitive skin. After a few minutes, I have to brace myself against the wall of the shower because it’s so intense.

When I’m done, I’m panting and lightheaded and laughing to myself, hoping my roommates can’t hear me.
Why haven’t I ever enjoyed it like this before? Because, holy shit, this is awesome!