Dearly, Beloved (15 page)

It took me only a second to decide that I would do as he asked—it was easier than fighting, easier than running. People
were staring. One more brick in the foundation of my little life was crumbling into dust, and I was almost ready to give up caring.

I didn’t take the man’s hand, but backed up to where he indicated. He picked up my basket—he carried one as well—and moved to join me. “I’m so sorry,” I managed to get out as he set both baskets beside me.

“No need for that.” He opened his coat, revealing a gold-tooled pistol in a holster at his hip, and reached into an interior pocket, pulling out a handkerchief. The sight of it caused me to recall Allister and all his apparent kindnesses, twisting the knife. “Here. Don’t speak. Breathe.”

I took the hankie and put all my effort into doing so, pinching my fingers around my nose and breathing through my mouth. My left hand, I laid over my chest. Seeing this, he said, “Are you in pain? Should I call for an ambulance?”

“No. Please. It’ll stop.”

Nodding uncertainly, the man maintained a respectful distance. After a few minutes the episode passed and I began to feel more embarrassed than scared.

“The last time I saw you,” he ventured, “you were dealing with things by screaming bloody murder. This can’t be an improvement.”

“What?” Confusion chased away some of my misery. I looked into his face again, and it hit me—his eyes. Those hazel eyes had once looked upon me with sympathy, even as he told me that I had to accept that my brother might be killed if he took us to the ships. “Colonel Lopez!”

The gentleman dropped into one of the smoothest genuflections I’d ever seen. “No longer Colonel, but yes. Keep breathing.”

The last time I’d seen Edmund Lopez, I hadn’t paid much attention to what he looked like. I’d been more concerned with
my dying brother and thinking up suitable punishments for Michael Allister. Now I saw that he was a man of average height and strong build, perhaps in his early thirties, with chiseled features and skin the color of dark burnished burl wood. He wore a thin black moustache as well as fashionable sideburns, and was dressed impeccably in a dark suit and top hat, a beautiful black great coat, and shoes so shiny they reflected the hem of my skirt.

Suddenly I felt ashamed of my two-year-old dress, my shabby gloves, my plainly braided hair. “I’m sorry, I didn’t …” I cleared my throat. “You remember me?”

“How could I forget?” Lopez smiled gently. “You know, if anything good can be said to have come out of the Siege, I’d say it was the number of brave young people who rose to the occasion. Er … it strikes me that this could be taken as an awful pun. Dead rising and all that.”

I couldn’t think of a response to this. I felt my cheeks heating. “Thank you,” I almost whispered. Someone outside of my family really thought that about me? Someone who’d been in the
army
thought that about me?

“I hate to be so familiar, but it’s Miss Roe, isn’t it? I believe that’s what that boy called you.”

“Yes, Mr. Lopez,” I tried.

Lopez’s eyes darkened a tad. “Ah, not ‘Mister’ either.” Before I could question this, he gestured to the archway. “If you are certain you don’t require medical attention, may I at least escort you out to the street? See you safely home, perhaps? How may I be of service to you—if you would like help at all?”

Again I decided to accede to his offer. “I’d like that. Home, that is.”

“My distinct pleasure. If anyone asks, I am an extremely doting cousin three times removed.”

He picked up the baskets and waited for me to fall in beside him, and we walked in silence past the offending busker and out
onto the street. When I told him I lived only a few blocks up, he looked relieved. I couldn’t blame him. It felt odd to be walking with someone I’d never been properly introduced to, even though I owed him so much.

Eventually he said, “If I may, how is your brother?”

“Zombified,” I informed him as I tried to clean up my tear-streaked face. “But well. Very well.” I settled on the idea even as I spoke of it. “You should come in and see him. He owes you his gratitude. We all do.”

“I would hate to impose.” His gait was measured and swift, positively martial.

“No, no.” It seemed like the best idea in the universe. “I’ll tell my mother who you are. My father works just next door. I’m sure they’d both like to thank you.” It occurred to me, “And I should apologize … for anything I might have said the night of the Siege.”

“I do hope you’re referring to the fact that you bellowed an order directly into my ear at one point?” Amusement glittered in his eyes, though distantly. “I’m lucky I’m not deaf on that side.”

Twisting his handkerchief around my left index finger, I admitted, “Yes … that. Please forgive me.”

Lopez chuckled softly. “You are a hundred times forgiven. Honestly, if I hadn’t helped myself to a solid swig of port before I left base, after hearing the orders we’d been given? I might have been screaming right back at you.”

After a few more steps we were at my front stoop, and I wondered at how quickly we had gotten there. “This is it. Won’t you come in, sir?”

“If the invitation is extended, it would be an honor—but I’m certain your parents will be far more concerned about your recent fit than the strange man you met in the marketplace. I’d just like to see you safely inside.” He climbed one of the steps.

Oh, no
.

He stopped on a dime when I darted in front of him, peering curiously at me. “Oh. Um …” Looking into his startlingly bright eyes, I just came out with it. “Please don’t tell them.”

Lopez frowned. “Miss Roe, you’re not well.”

“It’s … it’s nothing. Please. My mother and father have it worse …” I shouldn’t go blabbing about my family to a stranger. I knew that. I tried hard to swallow the words, never breaking eye contact with him.

Lopez was silent. He pressed his lips together and ultimately said, “I’m not keen on the idea of helping you keep secrets from your family, Miss Roe. They should know you just had an attack. They’ve taken you to see a doctor, have they not?”

“Please.”
I put every ounce of fear, every shred of fatigue into the word that I could muster, my shoulders sinking. “I’m fine. I know we’ve not been introduced. That you don’t owe me anything. That we shouldn’t even be talking …”

“No, we shouldn’t.” Lopez passed me my basket and considered my proposition for a moment before shaking his head. “Very well. But then I would rather not come inside.
You
and your parents owe me nothing, not even thanks. I did nothing to earn it.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true in that I could have done much more.” He reached into his coat again and drew out an embossed ivory calling card. “Here. I’ll leave my card for your parents. I’ll try to call on Sunday, that’s probably the least inconvenient time. And if I’m not welcome, please, have them send me an email. There shall be no hard feelings.”

Disappointed, I accepted the card. “If you prefer.”

“I do.” He tipped his hat. “Go inside and have a cup of tea. Rest. Please give my regards to your brother and your parents. Good afternoon.”

I curtsied and watched as he set off in the direction of the
market again. I felt guilty, realizing I’d made him go out of his way.

When my eyes fell upon his card, my guilt was immediately replaced by shock.

He was, indeed, neither
Colonel
or
Mister
.

He was
Lord
Edmund Lopez.

The hold music I was being forced to listen to was atrocious. Something about a “gilded cage.” Leaning my head back against Dad’s gun cabinet, I did my best to tune it out. Kept in the house, sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes and stacks of paper—I felt positively claustrophobic.

A voice finally cut through the music, but only to tell me, “Your wait time is forty-five minutes.” There were so many people still missing that a special hotline had been set up for those trying to find them.

I hung up. For days I’d been following my father’s orders—and getting nowhere. It was like Aunt Gene had dropped off the face of the earth. A few months ago I would have been ecstatic had that actually occurred, but not now. Not when my imagination couldn’t help but continually review all the horrible things that might’ve happened to her.

I stretched my left leg out and hooked the toe of my boot around a pile of folders, pulling it closer. The top file contained information on the Allisters, and I paged through it for the fiftieth time, uncertain what I should be looking for. I knew the basic story—that Aunt Gene had stayed with the Allisters following my
abduction-slash-rescue, that she fled the city with them, and that she went missing at some point. And there, it stopped.

The door opened and Bram stepped in. I didn’t look up, but I pressed my knees together beneath my long aubergine dress. I’d been sitting with my legs splayed open, relaxed, uncaring. “What’s up?”

“Went into town, took a look at the lost-and-found posters,” he said as he edged himself into a narrow space of bare floor next to me and sat. “Only saw the ones we put up asking for info on your aunt.”

The gate in front of City Hall was covered in flyers made by those still searching for loved ones, as well as those who’d taken in wanderers. Occasionally, bouquets of flowers, small plush animals, and tea candles would appear beneath the slurry of paper, offerings made in memory of the missing and deceased. “Thanks for looking, at any rate.”

“Pleasure.” He leaned over to glance at the file in my hands. “Went to the cops, too. Still no information on the carriage.”

“What else is new? I’d still like to know why those guys were wearing those stupid masks.”

“Probably bought them all at the same store. Maybe that’ll come back to bite them.”

I couldn’t help it. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Nora, you’re the only person I’ll ever bite. And you know it.” A smile ghosted across his lips. “You think I’d cheat on you with common criminals?”

“How messed up is it that I find that really romantic?”

Bram chuckled, and kissed my temple. It occurred to me that the last place we should be hanging out alone was a room that contained a bed—not that there was much danger of
that
with a dead guy. “Any luck on your end?”

“Not a thing.” I handed him the folder. “But there’s nothing in here about Michael.” Bram made an adorable face when I said
his name, and I took the opportunity to scoot closer, as if I wanted to comfort him. Noticing this, he slid his arm around my shoulders. “So I’m almost starting to think I should try to talk to him. As vomit-inducing as the concept is.”

“Why?” Bram tossed the folder into a random pile. “He was with Miss Roe and us the whole time. Unfortunately.”

“Yeah, but before that he was with Aunt Gene. He was the one who told Pam she was with his family. Besides, you heard what he said. That he likes me.” I stuck my tongue out to show Bram exactly what I thought of that idea. “So maybe he’d talk to me. I don’t know. I feel like it’s the only direction left to go in.”

Bram thought about this, his eyes lidding. I could almost identify, by the little emotions that flitted across his masculine features, what he was internally arguing with himself about. Even in death he was so alive. His skin was like purest white candle wax, his eyes like faded mercury glass baubles—inanimate objects—and still they conveyed so much.

“I know what it’s like to hold out hope,” he eventually said. “But you have to be prepared to accept … she’s gone. And you’ll never know what happened to her. That the Allisters are telling the truth. I think your dad has more problems with this than you do. I’m not saying it’s time to give up, I’m just saying it’s a possibility.”

“I know. I feel bad, though. We didn’t get along in the end, but I wouldn’t have wished this on her.” Leaning back against his arm, I decided to confess. “Things up here aren’t like we imagined they would be, are they?”

“Not entirely.” It was honestly a relief to hear him say it.

Drawing my knees up, I encompassed them with my arms. I’d been debating whether I should tell him, and in that moment, I decided it was the right thing to do. “Papa wants to send me away.”

“What?” Bram turned to look at me fully. “Where?”

“Belize. To his relatives. I don’t even know them. It’s a long story … let’s just say Mama was poor and they hated her for that. They cut him off. Aunt Gene eventually married a man from the South and came down here to join him. She was the only one who’d talk to him.” I’d always considered that fact mere family history, a dry, boring dust mote of information—but this time, as I said it, it seemed suddenly so important. So human. Cold as she was, Aunt Gene had truly loved her brother.

We couldn’t give up looking for her. We had no right to.

“Is he going to?” Bram’s voice was tight.

“I think I managed to talk my way out of it.” Steadying myself, I went on. “Obviously, he’s terrified. And he has reason to be. But next time he comes home, we have to talk. I’ll be honest with him. I’ll tell him that he has to give me some freedom—or I’m going to
have
to get it behind his back. And I’m sorry if that makes me sound selfish. But I want to feel useful. Hanging around the house squinting at legalese doesn’t cut it.”