Death Knows My Name (Memory Keepers) (15 page)

My eyes widened and I now swatted the arm I had patted not three seconds ago.

“What!”

Eric was still lying on his back but now he turned his head in my direction in confusion, no longer looking up at the ceiling. “What did I say wrong?”

“Eric! You said I was odd, then you followed up by saying it’s one of our differences meaning she isn’t odd but I am!” I was almost shrieking in dismay.

“Oh. No, no. You know I didn’t mean it that way.” He pushed himself up on his elbow. “I mean, she is so cold and you are open and warm. I never have to guess with you. But her, she is likely to kiss you while she reaches in and yanks your heart out. That’s not just metaphorically either. You are nothing like that. I have no idea what Dhylaka told you, but I am telling you there’s nothing to be jealous about. What she and I thought we maybe could have had is nowhere near what you and I do have and will have. Now, what did she want?”

I scooted back to press my back against the headboard. “She wanted me to know that I had friends in high and very low places.” I continued to settle back against the headboard and when Eric didn’t say anything else I kept talking. “She also thinks it is time for a change within the Grand Design. I sort of felt as if she thought the truce was shaky and in danger of crumbling. Does that have something to do with the two of us, you know, having sex like crazy? It’s causing you problems up there?” I pointed up.

Eric’s eyes went hungry. “The sex is nice. That will never be a problem. There is just a lot going on that you are not aware of. This is an ancient war, bigger than the two of us. It has been going on for so long and I have seen every battle. It is time for a change. The truce can only do so much, but you are the deciding factor. Once Lucifer laid eyes on you, you became an important pawn in the war. For reasons I cannot tell you—”

“Is it because I am his great-great-granddaughter?” I interrupted to ask.

“Obviously Dhylaka could tell you.” He relented. “Partly, yes. A huge part. What if you could be corrupted? That would be the concern.”

“I can’t be!”

“Put yourself in Heaven’s place for argument sake. Either way, Lucifer and I agree. Things have to change. It is what we were discussing when Dhylaka saw us together and snuck off to see you.”

I relaxed back against the headboard. “I must say, the bar had a lot of Angelican patrons last night.”

Eric cocked a brow in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Three angels are a record, I’m sure.”

“Okay, since Dhyla was there, then I am sure so was Dartainian, but who was the third?”

I looked around as I said the name. “Valience.”

“Is he still threatening you?” The black ink if his tattoos were prominent as his face turned to stone. Cold and pale. He sat up, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed and planting his feet on the floor so he could stand up. I stopped him.

“No! He was doing me a favor. I . . .” Afraid to say what I was about to admit, I forced myself to continue. “I asked him to look into something for me. Something I knew you wouldn’t do if I asked.”

He was still poised to get up and the muscles in his back twitched under his tan skin, but he turned his head my way. “What did you ask of him?” His voice was terse.

I wanted to shrink further back against the headboard but I didn’t allow myself. I would not show fear of the man I was sleeping with. I knew it was a stubborn notion but still, I would not allow myself. I lifted my chin up and met his eyes.

“I asked him to see why my name couldn’t be called.”

Chapter 16

“You. Did.
What
?” His voice came out very measured as if he were doing all that he could not to scream at me.

This time I did shrink back into the wood, but only a little, before I answered. “I asked him to ask around to see—”

“You asked Valience to help kill you.” It came out so matter of fact and almost too flat that I cringed.

The bed made a soft sound as Eric stood, and I saw all muscles in his body were tight with tension not just his back. His jaw clenched and the tattoo at his temple throbbed with his racing pulse. He bent and picked up his black boxer briefs followed by his jeans. What the hell?

I didn’t know what to say to stop him. I only knew that I didn’t want him to leave, not while I was pressed up against the back of the bed, afraid and naked like a victim. That pissed me off. I was not some victim. Besides, why was I afraid? Who was I afraid of? What was I afraid of?

“Eric, just wait a damn minute here. What are you doing?”

He turned around to face me, and my words froze. There it was. I realized the exact reason I was afraid. It wasn’t Eric I was afraid of. It was the hurt I saw etched on his face. His eyes were not cold with anger, but raw with betrayal.

Well, shit. I wanted to melt into the surface at my back. I wanted to cover myself in shame and become invisible, but I knew that would be the wrong thing to do. At the same time, I wanted to crawl to him and grovel, to beg him to forgive me.

I didn’t know why he was so hurt. I also didn’t know why I did it when I knew it would hurt him. I couldn’t deny to myself that I hadn’t known because I did. Why else would I try to keep it a secret?

I tried again. “Eric.” This time my voice was gentler and softer. It no longer held the misplaced hostility it held before. “Eric.” Shoving a clump of tangled curls away from my face, I crawled across the bed over to him until I was at the edge of the bed on my knees, the air cold on my bare body causing me to shiver.

“I am so sorry. Thought it would be easier for you and your duty if I were finally able to, you know, die and no longer be a Keeper.” There it was. The truth. I didn’t want to be the reason he fell from grace. I didn’t want to hurt him. But looking at him now, I knew I’d failed. I had hurt him and now he would fall from grace anyways. I did the exact thing that I did not want to do. I had hurt him and because of our love he would fall. I looked away, ashamed.

“How would losing any part of you be easier for me? Do you even know what that would do to me? I would never allow that to happen because if I lost you I would be finished. I would be destroyed.

“Look at me.” His finger tilted my chin until I did. His eyes were bottomless pools of love. I did not deserve his love. But I had it. “Don’t ever go to Valience because if he had succeeded in hurting you, I would be forced to kill my own kin. And I don’t think I am strong enough to lose yet another brother.”

His words reminded me of last night’s dream and his devastation. I leaned into his chest, resting my head on it to hear his heart. His arms locked around me, threatening to never let me go. I could live with that if he decided to follow through on that one.

“You don’t have to worry anyway, babe, he said he couldn’t do it.” I spoke into his chest so it came out garbled.

I felt him nodding. “I could have told you that.”

I inched away slightly, even though I really didn’t want to. “How?”

He swatted me on the butt and then changed it to coping a feel and lingered there. He lifted me up into his chest. I grinned.

“Eric, are you trying to distract me?”

I heard the smile in his voice. “Mmmm, is it working?”

“Just a little,” I admitted. I pressed harder against him, feeling his erection hard against me. Yes. I wiggled against him and he inhaled sharply. His lips caressed my neck in a soft whisper. My body shivered under their touch.

“I would love to make you forget completely, but I have to go. You should try going back to sleep and get some rest.”

“What are you doing later, say noon-ish? I am having lunch with Devon if you want to meet up with us?”

“Oh, meeting the friends, isn’t that getting a little bit too serious?” Eric teased.

I slapped his arm as I scooted away from his embrace to crawl under the covers. “Shut up!”

He laughed. “I will be there, just tell me where.”

I gasped. His eyes were blazing amber.

“Eric! Why didn’t you tell me? Go. Now!” He had a soul to call and here he was joking around with me. As much as I hated what he had to go do, it was a part of him.

“I told you I had to go,” he responded easily as he tugged on his shirt. “Besides, I will always have time for us.” He leaned down and kissed me. Then the kiss turned into a whisper, and just as he was disappearing, I heard, “See you at lunch.”

I grinned as I snuggled into my pillow that smelled of him. I could so get used to this.

I sat at the table across from Devon at Zarios, one of our favorite eateries. He had already ordered my usual, Sprite with strawberry syrup and crushed ice. I sipped as he skimmed the menu. It was something he always did, even though the menu hadn’t changed in the five years that we have been coming, and he always ordered the same thing: the fajita wraps with Colby cheese and honey mustard on the side. I, on the other hand, was more on the adventurous side. I had almost tried everything on the menu, for good and bad.

“So, I hope you don’t mind but I invited my new
maaan
.” I said with a roll of my neck.

He laughed. “Your new man, huh? Which one is it, the cold son of a bitch from the bar or the tattooed freak who stopped by the lounge?”

“Devon, please,
please
be nice to the new man in my life. No matter how much I love him it will never take away from the love and devotion I have for you,” I ended with a tease.

He threw his napkin across the table at me, and I tried to dodge it while laughing. I failed, and it hit me squarely in the forehead.

“What’s wrong, State, does all that sexing got your reflexes slow?”

“Hell no, just the opposite. All that sex has me as fast and nimble as a kitten. I purr, too.”

“Ewl. That was way too much information for me to know about anything you do.”

“It’s not like I told you what makes me purr.”

“That would be a lot of things, I have discovered.”

Devon’s eyes looked over my head to see who those words belonged to. Even though I knew, I still turned in my seat. I hadn’t heard him walk up, but a smile broke out on my face all the same.

“Hey, no sneaking up on us when I am divulging secrets of our sex life!” I exclaimed as I tilted my face up to meet his quick kiss on my lips.

“We are talking about you here. You are always talking about your sex life, so there are really no secrets left to tell,” Eric said with a smirk.

“This is true,” I conceded. “Devon, this is Ectain Edeck.”

“Call me Eric,” Eric quickly added.

“Eric, this is Devon DeMonte.”

Devon rose to meet Eric on his feet. The two men in my life shook hands as I beamed.

“It is nice to meet you, Devon DeMonte,” Eric offered.

Devon’s eyes narrowed slightly as he nodded. “Same to you, Eric.” His words came out slow and measured as if he were trying to solve a mystery or read something on Eric’s face.

Eric took his seat beside me and Devon remained standing for a few seconds until he, too, finally sat down staring off in the distance.

“So Devon, what’s good here?” Eric asked.

Devon’s eyes slowly dragged over to look at Eric. “I always order the sirloin fajita wrap.

It’s the safest thing here.” Devon’s voice sounded odd, like he was confused about something. I stepped on his foot lightly and his eyes met mine. I mouthed
be nice and chill out a little
. Devon nodded and responded
I am
. I shook my head.

“I tried the squid salad once. Once was enough. Whatever you do, don’t order that. I don’t recommend it.” I was rambling. I was so nervous that my two favorite men, no, my two favorite people, period, wouldn’t like one another. My heart sped up in panic and I tried taking deep breaths discreetly. But who was I kidding? I was with Devon, the one person who has known me the longest and noticed everything I did, and Eric, my stalker.

“You okay, babe?” Devon asked, pausing from reading the menu absentmindedly.

I nodded. “I’m fine.” I tried to sound breezy and calm. I probably just sounded airy and breathy. I took a sip from my straw and Eric’s hand closed around one of mine. Calm spread over me. I’d be fine. There was no reason to panic. They would both try to get along because they both liked me.

“What is that you are drinking? It tastes sweet and good, sort of like bubbly fruit.” Eric deftly changed the subject.

“It’s Sprite with strawberry syrup. I could live off it.”

He leaned toward me. “I could live off you.”

Devon made a gagging sound from across the table. “Come on, guys, I am going to have to eat soon.”

“Sorry, I tried to whisper,” Eric apologized lightly.

“I thought it was sweet and sexy as hell. Do you want a sip?” I turned to Eric.

“Of you?” he asked with a wicked grin.

“Later, but I meant the soda,” I answered as Devon huffed his disgust.

“No, I’ll pass. I don’t ever remember drinking soda. It seems too sweet. It tasted good on you though.”

“You’ve never drank a soda?” Devon’s mouth hung open in shock.

“No. I come from a very disciplined and strict background,” Eric explained, choosing his words carefully.

“How do they feel about that face tattoo then?” Those who didn’t know Devon would never have caught how snide he truly sounded.

I glared daggers at him from across the table, but he ignored me. His attention was fully on Eric. I fumed. Devon was being a complete shit hole.

Eric shrugged. “My Father gave it to me. It’s part of our culture. I wear it as an honor.”

“Is he a cult leader?”

I felt and saw Eric tense up.
Oh shit
. He was now very pissed off. His chest expanding as he took in very deep breaths and let them out in small gusts. His hand briefly tightened around mine. Where was the waitress to take our damn order? This was going to hell quickly. I needed a rescue.

“Devon, what the fuck? Dude, that shit was rude.” I was still glaring at him and it took every effort to calm down and not rip his heart out. I wasn’t sure, but I almost knew Eric considered what Devon said to be blasphemous.

“Devon.” Eric’s voice came out clipped, but he continued. “Because you are who you are, because Mayne loves you so much, and because of the fact that you have no idea. . .” Eric seemed to stopped to compose himself because the last word was almost a shout. “Because you have no idea of whom and which you speak of, I shall let such disrespect pass. Make no mistake, though, this will be the only time. Mayne’s love for you and my love for her will not always save you.”

Devon’s jaw clenched. “Save me?”

“Devon, please let it go.” My plea came out as a whisper.

Neither Devon nor Eric had time to respond because the waitress finally arrived. I glared at her for taking so damn long. My anger at what happened was collecting in my chest. Anger at Devon for being such a rude jerk and anger at Eric for, for just threatening my friend, the only family I had besides my sister. It was just all too much.

“He will have the Sirloin Fajita wrap, Colby cheese and honey mustard on the side.” I pointed at Devon and barked our orders. Then pointing at Eric, I continued. “He will have just the sirloin well done, not even a hint of blood, is that understood?” The waitress nodded, I am sure out of fear. I was pissed and I wasn’t even bothering to hide it. “I will have nothing because I have lost my fucking appetite!” I pushed my chair back abruptly and marched to the bathroom.

As I did, I heard Eric murmur to the poor girl, “Please bring her a mandarin salad, a refill of her drink, and can I have a glass of water with my meal?”

“Her drink is with strawberry syrup, not cherry. Please don’t mix it up.” Devon added, his words sounding desperate, like he was terrified that I’d go off on the place if I got the wrong drink. And, hell, the way I was feeling, he might just be right.

When I returned, the food had arrived before me. Seriously, the waitress must have put a rush order on our food with the kitchen.

“I’m not sure I should eat mine. I think there may be spit in it,” I commented.

Devon erupted in laughter. “I know I would have if I were her, you rude bitch.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Shut up! They probably spit in yours too just to play it safe, not knowing which was the crazy bitch’s. So enjoy.” I smirked at him.

“There is not spit in any of them.”

Eric’s voice felt like cold water to me. I froze and my back straightened at the shock. I peeked over at him and the strain on his face told me he was still upset, even if mine was short-lived. But that’s how it had always been between Devon and me. I could never stay mad at him long.

I scooted my chair close to him and snuggled. His arm lifted and draped around my shoulder, accepting me regardless of his anger. Good. I liked that.

“I am not angry at you. I will always accept you in any mood,” he said into my hair so that only I could hear him, reading my thoughts.

I smiled. “Okay smart guy, if there is no spit, how come you aren’t eating?” I asked him as if our other conversation hadn’t happened right under Devon’s nose.

“I, too, have lost my appetite.” He looked down at me.

“If they didn’t cook it right I will yell at them if you’d like—”

“No more yelling, little girl.” He laughed.

I smiled, glad that I got a laugh out of him. He was cranky, but I couldn’t blame him. Devon dissed God in front of an angel. A real live freaking angel. There couldn’t be a bigger
faux pas
than that, I don’t think.

Devon was the only one of us who actually ate. I pushed my salad around my plate with my fork, still not completely convinced it hadn’t been spit in for my atrocious behavior, while Eric leaned back in his seat scowling down at his steak like it stole his bike when he was eight years old. He suddenly sat up, his back straightening. God he was gorgeous.